Silence calls
Looking back, it must have seemed so simple. To give himself up to protect the world from himself. Theories be damned, he may have even cleared his name and finally put an end to the persistent accusations thrown by Ryuzaki. But he was too naive, too unaware of the deeper implications of what he was doing to himself to predict such a thing and prevent his own doings.
He'd never truly been alone before.
That thought occurred to him after one week of confinement. Yes, he often tucked himself away in his room, but he always had distractions. Schoolwork, the news, theories. Sayu would pop round from time to time. In hindsight, he should have let her do so more.
Here, he knew the true meaning of the word. Alone.
With no distractions and his mind tiring and producing less and less stimulating thoughts each day, the seventh day clinched it. He was alone. And that's when he first heard the silence.
Instead of the pure nothingness he had expected to be confronted with, he was left with a soft buzzing. Nothing could have prepared him for it. The silence sent his mind reeling back to the day he falsely gave himself up. Why did he have to do it? He knew it was wrong. He didn't belong there. Yet he still did it. And he was still stuck with silence for company.
"Ryuuzaki," he said, disrupting the silence clouded around him. His gaze transferred to the black box suspended from the ceiling containing the eye that watched his every move. "This whole thing is completely pointless because I'm not Kira! You have to get me out of here-"
"I can't do that."
One sentence and it all came crashing down. His gaze fell to his knees, curled up against his torso. Tears stung his eyes, threatening to fall yet unseen underneath his long bangs. "I promised you that no matter what you said I wouldn't let you out until I was convinced that you are not Kira."
His thoughts wondered back to that day. Squeezing his eyes closed, he remembered. How stupid. Why had he said that? Why make him promise? He was supposed to be smart, damn he was supposed to be perfect. Yet he was stupid enough to throw away his freedom and tainted enough to have an unrelenting ringing in his ears. The ringing. It got louder as each second of silence passed.
"Please L! I wasn't thinking clearly." He pleaded, tears spilling from his eyes and down his cheeks. He wanted to escape, to go back to school and his normal life. But there was no response. Only the silence.
"Damn w-why is this happening?" He choked out. Humiliation is the word that came to mind. But he didn't care what L and the others thought, he was already imperfect and wanted to be released.
What day was it? What time was it? He needed to stretch, to move his secured arms and legs. He wanted his mind to clear, for the ringing to stop. The coldness of the tiled floor seeped into his head from his position.
His eyes ached. They were filled with insomnia caused by Kira's hand and the ringing that filled his mind.
Everything ached.
His ears felt like they were bleeding. The ringing wasn't relenting. There had been no word from Ryuzaki, no word of the killings starting again or his release.
Mind games he used to occupy himself with had long stopped. He had no energy. All he could to was try to sleep, to try and escape the ringing. But it was near impossible.
Desperate. That's what Light was.
It was torturous. Being in Misa's presence would have been more preferable. At least then he wouldn't be alone. Even if her voice did vaguely resembled the ringing. Shrill. That's what it was.
His thoughts on Misa meandered to the latest song she was working on and tried to show him. He tried to remember how it went. But he could only remember part of it. He must've been distracted.
"E-Even if I'm ffar away and a-alone," he spoke, his voice gruff from disuse and lack of energy.
"I ccan be sure you will ffind me there"
This I know.
"Li.-t ._w a._ -.u feeling now?"
The voice was blurry and disorientated. He was unaware of its presence at first.
He groaned, unfamiliar with sound. The words fell into place after swirling around in the stale room.
"I'm okay." He lied. For he would be okay. Eventually. Either he would be released, and surrounded by distractions again, or he would be executed. Death. The perfect opportunity to experience true silence. A silence without ringing.
The next time he would hear the ringing is when his own father placed a gun to his forehead.
And the last time he would hear the ringing is when his hands met a familiar black notebook.
a/n:
This was a bit random and I should be writing my other story but I don't care. This idea sparked when I was thinking of my skiing trip I did a couple years back and how we stopped on the mountain to listen to the silence. My ski instructor said some go skiing just to listen to it but I didn't really like it because of the weird ringing thing which I later discovered was actually tinnitus. So yeah, Light has acute tinnitus and feels tortured by it. I used the dialogue from the anime, but chopped some of the rubbish out.
Did you catch my subtle deepness at the end there? About Light and the ringing? It might just be me, I'm not sure it made much sense xD
Also just got my results back from my GCSE's! Passed them all (thankfully) but turns out I did the worst in English Lang and IT, which is basically what FanFiction is :S Weird that
Open to any feedback or requests, just review or PM me ;)
Thanks for reading!