Author's note:

Author's note:

Okay, probably my first serious fic so I'm gonna try to keep it simple with the said story key:

"Blah"normal

"Blah" Inner thoughts

"I do not own any part of the series known as Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. I get no general profit from this besides masturbating with my imagination". There, now no one can sue me

It was a humid night. The near by breeze coming from the sea was nice. The sun had just set and on its opposite direction laid a full moon rising to the shadow of two heavily clocked men. Both men were in taters, large scares oozing with fresh blood. Somehow these creatures with the figures of humans were still capable of walking as if nothing were amiss. The taller of the two turned to his partner in muse.

"Wasn't that a fun mission Itachi?"

The other one addressed as Itachi glared at his partner. His mysterious red and black eyes vented mountains of killing intent from what was just said.

"Kisame…you reduced the hidden mist village's population by drowning it to the ground up, raped nearly every woman we came in contact in…which was what? Twenty maybe twenty three people, half of which were operatives whom were to assist us in our mission. I don't know why I haven't stressed this before but for the sake of my remaining sanity I must inquire. Are you out of your goddamn mind?"

Kisame moved stretched his arms in an awkward fashion. Almost as if he was content with Itachi's summery chaos "Yea. Because killing my whole family and beating down my brother mercilessly is what all humanitarians wish to achieve." He said in a playful tone. "Atleast we he still captured the Jinchuriki. I mean he's in a coma thanks to you but yeah, I kill a bunch of innocent bystanders you become christen and told me to stop. I say be careful with the five tailed demon and what do you do? You rip his limbs with your bare hands and mind rape him with the image of a black sun swallowing the whole planet."

"Ask your Itachi. Do you really have any right to contradict me, at all?"

The argument became short-lived and was replaced by silence. Kisame's points remained valid. As far genocidal super ninjas were concerned, he held as much truth as a saint. These men however were the furthest from it. You see Kisame and Itachi were members of a secret criminal organization called the Akatsuki. The goals of these baddies are basically to go around, destroying entire countries in search of Jinchuriki which contain a demon. Each of which has certain properties that can of course defy human strength in there own, twisted special way. The organization is in possession of five while a total of nine are needed to unleash hell…or control the entire planet according to they're leader. But recently things have been depressing for the team of infamous murderers.

The one who was in control of the ninth had recently joined a hermit in special training. Killing the said peace maker/ erotica novelist wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that said hermit was a legendary ninja well in contact with the most powerful village known to the current ninja society. No one with common sense wants the ninja village known as konoha. Even with the combined efforts of Itachi and Kisame, they alone can only go so far by themselves before realizing the overwhelming strength in the village's military would be the death of them.

"Zetsu already picked the fifth Jinchuriki up, lets head back to the hideout" Itachi announced. The pair began a round forming handseals and vanished into thin air.

"Hmm…They're late" groaned a figure who owned long blond hair. "My guess would be Kisame took his time having an orgy with yet another couple hundred thousand women." Said a red-headed lad adjusting what looked to be a wooden human. "My two cents say that sadist Itachi pushed himself again and nearly killed the target. He's so strict about everything…I wonder if he was always this uptight about the world" trailed of a long-haired man. The one who spoke lastly was abit taller than the yellow and red haired boys. His voice hardly had any youth unlike the other two as well. Infact he seemed somewhat old. From the other side of the dark headquarters echoed a whimsy voice, "Don't about Itachi like that Orochimaru!" "It's really creepy."

"Leave him be Tobi" ordered the red haired one. "That snake-like freak show just misses his master whipping him into order is all." The yellow haired man chuckled from the light joke. "Good one Sasori".

Just then within the center of a large statue stood yet another shadowy figure emerged. One with vast, spiked hair. His eyes were vigilant within the darkness of the head quarters. As the room grew silent with the most recent new comer the atmosphere grew humid. Itachi and Kisame made the scene keeping themselves poised. "Welcome back Uchiha Itachi, Hoshigaki Kisame" announced the enigma. Well that's chapter one…who is the spiky haired dude? Why is Orochimaru with the Akatsuki? And will Kisame ever get his own play pool so that Itachi doesn't get caught in his make-a-lake justu when he needs to take a shower….WOOOOOOOOOOOO….. All that and much more to come in chapter two. Any criticism would be nice.