Leliana began to fidget nervously once more, biting hard on her her lower lip. She was terrified, grasping at the frame of the bed to steady herself.
It had been three whole weeks since Mara, her Warden, had disappeared into the Deep Roads. Leliana had begged her lover to take her with them, but Mara had refused, unwilling to chance that Leliana might be infected with the same sickness that hounded the Grey Wardens. She had taken only Alistair and Shale, who couldn't receive the Blight sickness, and Oghren who was their only guide. She was sitting alone in the room that Prince Bhelen had graciously offered while they waited for their companions to return.
Her entire body was shaking with terror and stress. What if her Warden never came back? The Deep Roads were infested with Darkspawn. What if they ran into the main horde, or were attacked by the Archdemon? What if those thousand year old underground buildings collapses on them?
She steadied herself, breathing deeply. She'll be fine, Leliana. She's stronger than she looks, and more clever than you ever will be. And she has Alistair and Shale to protect her. The Maker smiles on the Grey Wardens, and she will not die.
She will be fine.
Her thoughts were broken when their Mabari dog, Duncan, pawed into the room and jumped up and onto her lap, licking her hands as though he could hear her terrified thoughts.
"It will be okay." She whispered, her voice sounding so hoarse and old that she almost couldn't recognize it. His fur was soft and warm, and she could take comfort in the steady rhythm of his breath. "It's all going to be alright." She was trying to convince herself as much as him.
He gave a soft 'woof' of agreement, kissing her on the face.
That Night
"Did you know that you eyelashes flutter when you dream?" I giggle.
"M-my eyelashes?" She blushes, looking embarrassed.
"Mmm-hmm." I tease. "They're like little butterflies. I should catch them in a jar."
She smiles with those perfect white teeth, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me down to the ground beside her, tickling me until I shriek with laughter.
"I should have known last night was a bad idea." She whispers in my ear once she stops. "You're all crazy now."
"Crazy now?" I tease, rolling over and meeting her eyes. "Liar. You thought I was crazy the day I met you."
She smiles even wider. "Maybe a little." She admits. "But if I'm very glad I brought that crazy Chantry sister with me on that day." She lays a hand over my heart with loving eyes. "Or I never would have fallen in love with her."
"Love?" I tease gently, even though my heart is pounding in my chest at the thought that she loves me.
She giggles. "You know, that rich, decadent emotion that one finds oneself helplessly trapped in." She kisses me on the nose. "Like Caramel."
"Mmm. Caramel."
She leans down and kisses me gently on the lips, so softly that it almost punches me in the chest at the sweetness. "I love you." She whispers.
I love you.
I love you..
I love you...
Leliana awoke in a cold sweat as the dream ended, the sweet memory of her lover fading back into the dreams world and away from her, the final, sweet words still echoing in her head.
She sat up, the blankets falling from her chest, as she wiped away the sweat from her brow. Mara was gone, away in the Deep Roads, and she was still alone in her room, save for Duncan who was curled up in front of the fireplace where dim embers still stirred from last night.
"I love you." She whispered to the memory that she could still hear. If only there was some way she could help her lover come back to her...
With a sudden strike of inspiration, she stood up and slipped her nightgown over her head, pulling on a pair of leather pants and a silk shirt.
She knew how to get the Maker to protect Mara. A ritual, a prayer for a lost love to return to you that Lady Cecilie had taught her when she was just a little girl.
She opened her door and slipped quietly out into the empty hall of the Diamond Quarter. She walked quietly and quickly to the entryway to the Deep Roads, where even the guards had gone to sleep and stopped keeping people out of the Trenches. A lockpick in the gate brought it right open. Breaking and entering might be wrong, but this was a good cause.
She laid a silver plate down in the entryway to the Deep Roads, just before you could see the first tunnel, and then she put a candle on the plate. Leliana lit the wick on the candle, and let it burn.
"Protect my Angel." She whispered in a reverent prayer. This was supposed to be a candle in her window, but Orzammar didn't have any windows, and this seemed more effective in any case. "I leave a candle in this window, so that you might follow it to my arms once more, my love." Her eyes watered, but she continued, hands clasped together. "Darkness closes, but you are my shield of flame, and I pray that I may light you way. You are my unquenchable flame, and I pray that you follow this fire home, back to me."
Then, very softly. "I love you, my angel."
The Next Morning
Leliana awoke, and rolled onto her side, patting the bed beside her to feel her lover's warmth, before she realized with a twisting knot in her chest that Mara was still gone. She sat up and kicked her legs over the bed, sighing sadly.
"I miss you."
As she spoke, the door to her room opened, and she gave a shriek of surprise, instinctively covering herself through her silky nightgown even though she was still fairly decent in it.
"Oh, don't pretend you have anything I haven't already seen." Leliana gasped again when she realized who it was.
Mara strode into the room with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes. Her hair was greasy and unkempt, her clothes utterly soiled and coated in dirt, and she smell of blood and death.
She was the most beautiful thing Leliana had ever seen in her life.
"Mon Ange!" Leliana cried, and jumped to her feet, throwing herself completely around her lover, kissing her all over. "I," She cut herself off, every word punctuated with another kiss for the mage. "Missed. You. So. Much."
Mara pressed her lips to Leliana in a searing kiss that made a giddy Leliana lightheaded from the sheer passion in it.
"I missed you too." Mara murmured quietly after their kiss ended. "Every moment I was down there was hell without you. Every second I thought about you."
They kissed again, sweet and warm. "What happened down there?" Leliana asked when her lover pulled away once more, although not loosening her grip on the Bard. "You were gone for so long!"
Mara shook her head. "I'm sorry, love." Her voice was ragged and tired. "I didn't think we would take so long, but the Deep Roads are like a maze down there." She sighed. "And there were so many Darkspawn. I... I don't know what we'll do when we face the Horde..."
Leliana pulled back a little, studying the dark lines under her lover's eyes. "Are you okay?"
She nodded mutely. "Yeah." She said after a moment, a hand tenderly cupping Leliana's face. "I-I'm fine, Leli. Just a little... exhausted."
She wrapped her arms around Mara's neck. "What happened?"
"Leli," Her voice was quiet and sad. "I don't want to talk about it right now. I-it was hard down there, and I... we have a long day ahead of us, what with the assembly and whatever else Dwarven politics needs."
Leliana nodded, and smiled. "I'm here for you, whenever you want to talk." She kissed Mara on the lips, sweet, gentle and reassuring. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?
"No." She shook her head. "I-"
Mara was cut off when Duncan awoke and saw his mother standing there, and tackled her to the ground, licking her face. She began laughing loudly, rolling on the ground with kisses on her cheeks. "Hi there, boy." She giggled. "Did you miss momma?" He woofed loudly, and kissed her more. "I missed you too!" She said in her baby talk voice that she reserved exclusively for Duncan. "Yes I did! Yes I did!" She kissed him on the nose, and pushed him off of her. "Alright, alright, boy. I need to get cleaned up, but I love you too!"
He whimpered as she pushed him off and stood up. "Oh, don't give me that! I've been waist deep in Darkspawn blood for three weeks, I am filthy. Go break up Zevran and whatever Dwarf he has in his bed, or have Wynne clean you, or... something."
Leliana smiled at the exchange as Mara stood. "You two are cute." She giggled, kissing her dirty love on the cheek.
She smiled. "Alright, I want a bath and a nap before we have to go talk to the assembly."
Leliana nodded. "Of course, love. Do you want me to draw your bath for you?"
Mara smiled and leaned in to kiss Leliana's nose. "I assume you'll be sharing with me?" Leliana giggled, which Mara took as a yes. "Then I absolutely would. I'm going to get dressed in some non-ruined clothes."
Leliana released her lover, and went to draw her bath. As the hot water filled the basin, she turned her head towards the skies, and smiled at the Maker above.
"Thank you."