Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to T. Ohba and T. Obata, and maybe to somebody else, but definitely not to me. I only own Shadow.
English is not my mother tongue and this is my first fic published here, so I apologize in advance if it's bad.
The story is mainly based on the manga, though I'll be using a few very convenient scenes from the anime in the future.
Any kind of review will be appreciated.
A little trivia: Did you know that "Shadow" was originally Watari's name?
It's time to start! Here I go!
Shadow
She had just turned nine when she arrived at Wammy's House, in the middle of May, 1990. She didn't feel sad neither happy about her new home, as she had never been very disturbed by her status as an orphan. She just felt she belonged there, since orphanages were for orphans, and she was one. In fact, she was an orphan twice. Abandoned at her birth, she had been adopted at the age of six, but her foster parents died in a terrible car accident three months before she was taken by Quillsh Wammy from the institution where she was temporarly living. She remembered the nurses looking relieved when they learned that somebody were interested in her, as they were afraid she would never find a new home, with her background and "strange behavior". Other children usually avoided her, for she was not really a sociable kid who liked to talk and play like everybody else.
- Mr. Watari, will you take me with you even if they say that I am not a nice girl?" she asked Wammy when he came to meet her for the first time, staring at him with her light green eyes. The matron made a move to reprimand her, but the gentleman waved her to stop. He already knew that the child was extremely precocious, speaking both english and french perfectly in spite of her young age, and showing great artistic skills. He also had been warned that she was always saying straight out what she was thinking, even if her manners were apparently beyond reproach. Her deceased adoptive parents, an english businessman and his french wife, may have had encouraged her great potential, and respected her somewhat strange attitude, understanding her loneliness as they had no other family themselves. Too bad that the unlucky child had been left alone again after their death. Wammy shook his head slowly before answering:
- Do you think you are a bad girl?
- Well, no." she shrugged, "but some of the children think so, because I stay alone a lot and don't like playing with them... Some of the nurses think I have "mental issues", too..."
The matron held back a yelp, wondering how the little girl knew about this last point. The child glanced at her.
- They say I may feel bad because my parents are dead and not me. I don't feel bad, though. Accidents happen everyday, and I am not responsible for them... I am not dead, and I don't want to die either..."
- I see...
- So, are you choosing me because I am said to be a bad girl?
The man smiled.
- No. And I don't believe you are a bad girl. But I heard that you very intelligent child, and I would like to bring you to a place where children like you can freely use their skills and study what they like.
It was her turn to smile, as she rose gracefully from her chair.
- Will I be able to read foreign books and play the piano? I like Erik Satie's compositions... and rock music. I also like mathematics and chemistry. But they don't let me do anything in here...
- Of course...
- That sounds interesting...
So she accepted. The files for her transfer to Wammy's House were quickly filled, and the famous inventor went to take her in a luxurious car a few days later. She seemed unimpressed as she sat in the comfortable limo, and didn't look behind her as she left from her former shelter.
She had left her few personal belongings behind, as it was the rule to enter the House. It was also forbidden to mention anything concerning her former life.
- Some of the children here never had parents, even foster ones, you see... They will feel apart if they hear of family stories...
- You don't need to make this kind of childish excuse. I already understood that your place is a special one. I don't know why, though...
She was absent-mindedly watching through the window as she answered. It had started raining, and the english countryside outside appeared horribly dull to her.
- There is another thing." continued the man next to her. "From now, you will have a new name.
- Why?" She turned to look at him. "Is mine ugly?
- That's not the problem. The other children have a special name too. So they are protected from people from the outside who would like to harm them.
- Then what will be my name from now?
- S.
- A single letter? Does it mean that they already children in your house that are named from the letter a to the letter A to the letter R?
- Yes... and no. You can choose another name if you want, as long as it starts with the letter S. You will see that some of your new companions have names they chose like this too... but others just go with the letter...
- Are you raising children for science or something?" the child frowned. "That sounds so impersonal... like test samples...
Watari laughed. This little girl had indeed a sharp mind.
- I am not going to make any kind of experiment on you, I promise. With those letters, everybody is at the same level. There mustn't be any difference in the way children are treated in my house...
- I see...
She paused and looked through the window again.
- Shadow. My name will be Shadow.
- May I ask you why? If you don't mind, of course. I will not question this choice anyway...
- I don't like the sunlight so much. I prefer staying in the shadows...
They didn't talk much after this until the reached the Orphanage. When she entered the buildind, most of the children were waiting in the hall, curious about the newcomer. Watari put a hand on her shoulder, inviting her to step forward.
- This is Shadow. She will live with us from now. Please be kind to her.
- She looks like a doll" whispered one of the kids. The little girl didn't react. She simply bowed.
- Nice to meet you...
Her skin was fair, almost translucent in contrast to the black velvet of her coat. Her long, curly auburn hair were gathered in a simple ponytail. She was slightly smiling, but her eyes were actually expressionless as those of a porcelain doll.
Really, she could show neither happiness nor sadness, she thought. Everything was new for her, like a rebirth. So, as Shadow, she would wait to see what her life would be in this place before deciding if she could allow herself to feel anything about it. Feelings were precious things not to be wasted, after all...
All the children of Wammy's House were indeed special. Shadow wasn't sure if some were really "gifted", as Watari had said before, but they were some kind of very unique human beings, in a good or a bad way.
She quickly decided who was worth or her attention and who was not. Kids who were simply very intelligent were the nicest to her, but also the most boring ones. They were just children with great brains, but they would eventually fit normally in the society once they grew up, ending up being famous researchers, politicians, artists, or whatever they would like to be. She felt more attracted to those who seemed psychologically different, as it was far more interesting to watch them. In this category, though, everybody wasn't so easy to approach. There were the creepy ones (like B, who had this crazy thing in his eyes, making Shadow think that he would surely turn into something very bad someday), the emotionally unstable ones (like A, who was literally radiating stress and would definitely snap sooner or later), the "supposed mentally ill but not dangerous" ones (like C, who was swallowing everything she was able to put in her mouth, which didn't really imply that she was gifted in a great way), and other weirdos who were more or less simple to deal with.
And there was L.
L had been the first one to be brought to the House. He was the most intelligent of all the orphans there. L was going to become somebody who would do great things for the world later. And all the other children of the orphanage had to know that their fates were somewhat linked to his.
- If something happens to him someday, his successor will be chosen here." had explained Watari a few days after her arrival, when he had made her come to his room to explain her the purpose of Wammy's House. "Do you understand, Shadow?
- I think so. May I ask something?
- Of course.
- Can I meet L? I have heard a lot about him already, but I have not even seen him yet...
- I was going to introduce you to him anyway... His room is the one next to mine, you see...
And so she met L for the first time. When she entered his room, he was crouching on the carpeted floor, holding a book in one hand and a cookie in the other. He didn't seem a lot older than her (there was only one year and a half between then, in fact), and she couldn't say anything special about his appearance before he turned his head to look at her.
- ...blank..." she murmured. Pale skin, jet black hair partially covering his big black eyes, and... crumbs on his right cheek. She cocked her head, wondering if this was an appropriate appearance for somebody who was suppose to save the world in the future (or something like that), but, well, you musn't judge a book by its cover...
- L, this is Shadow." said Watari, who was standing behind the little girl. "She wanted to meet you...
- Oh..." answered the boy, his face still expressionless. "Well, hello...
- So you are the one on whom my life is going to depend from now?
Their eyes met, black ones showing a little surprise to be deeply examined by green ones. The children at Wammy's usually avoided this kind of eye contacts with him (if not with anybody else...). And this question...
- Not at all. You can do whatever you want of your life... What makes you think it will depend on me?
She made a few steps to kneel in front on him, not taking her eyes off his face as he kept munching his cookie.
- The others talk about you a lot... You are a kind of model for them... But...
She blinked.
- I don't know what to think...
Silence fell. He was eating; she was staring. Watari was standing still in front of the door, leaving the two kids getting to know each other in their own ways, simply wondering what they could be thinking.
- Are ou going to watch me like this for a long time?" L finally asked. "I don't mind, but my face is not so interesting... Why don't you look at something more... constructive?
He put the book he was reading opened in front of her. She briefly looked down at it. Math puzzles.
- Is it a test?
- No. I am just trying to make you stop staring at me like that.
- Left page: 76633. Right page: 142.
He took the book back and quickly checked.
- That's right. You are intelligent.
- I have very good eyes. I never doubt them.
- Really?" He smiled. It was just a slight curve of his lips, but she immediately understood what it meant:"Then, what do you see?"
For a second only, she caught something in his dark eyes. She had what she wanted. This boy wasn't just special. He was more. Something... she would never find somewhere else. She smiled back at him, reaching gently for the small piece of cookie on his cheek. He looked surprised again and stroked his skin where her tiny fingers had touched him.
- Thank you.
- It was annoying me from the beginning..." she answered, still smiling. Her eyes had somewhat softened. "I am sorry for having bothered you such a long time, L. I hope we'll be able to enjoy some time together again.
She got back on her feet and started walking toward Watari when he called her.
- You didn't answer my question. About your life depending on me and all...
She stopped but didn't look back at him.
- That's true... My life is going to depend of you...
- Because I am L and you are supposed to work with me in the future?
Most of the orphans were thinking this way at the House, since they had to consider themselves as potential successors - if not rivals - of L.. But the answer Shadow gave was different:
- No. It's because I feel it. That's all.
- Feel...
She knew he was already trying to find out the hidden meaning of her words.
- I don't mean anything else. I just feel it.
She turned to him and their eyes met again.
- An intuition, then... " He said while resting his thumb on his lower lip. She couldn't suppress her smile, finding the view rather cute.
- No. It's not like it's coming from my mind. I don't think about it. I feel it. Like you can feel cold or heat. But in a different manner.
- Like cold or heat, hmm... You are funny, you know...
Her face turned serious again.
- Feelings are not funny. They are precious things...
And she left the room, avoiding Watari's amused look.