Secret Santa gift for my friend Katy, for reasons already explained.

Agh, a new fandom! Be nice to me, I only managed to scribble this out in the past three hours!

Enjoy, I hope.

A tall, handsome young man with a bored, moody expression was being dragged along by an excited looking young woman. It was a ridiculously common sight this close to Christmas, but people who saw them would assume two things incorrectly; one, that they were either related or dating, and two, that they were human.

"You know, I would have assumed that Christmas shopping would have been easy for you," Alice said, skidding to a halt in front of an expensive dress shop and sticking her face against the glass with a hungry look. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Remind me, Alice, who are we shopping for again?"

"Um. Bella?" Alice said eventually. Her eyes were glued to a blue dress that could have been worn by a Disney princess. "Do you think Bella would like that one?"

"That's the point, Alice! I don't know!" Their voices had been low and quick enough that when Edward raised his, it was only to the level of normal speech. Thankfully, given what he said next; "I know exactly what everyone else wants because I can hear them thinking about it! I even got Renesme that awful Bratz doll she's been thinking about every three seconds. It's far too old a toy for a two year-old."

"Six," Alice corrected absentmindedly. "That's what you got her? I wondered."

"Biologically, I'm right," Edward corrected her right back. "So I got her that and I've got everyone else what they want, but in case you hadn't noticed, I can't read Bella's mind!"

"Hadn't noticed at all," Alice said with a small smile. Her thoughts communicated that she was trying to tell him that he was being an idiot, but Edward refused to be drawn out of his mood.

"She's the one that I really want to get a perfect gift for, one that she'll love, but how can I do that? How do you do it?" He took hold of Alice's arm and gave it a gentle shake. "Alice, please help? I'm tired and too thirsty to be around this many people and we haven't seen anything that's good enough - I don't suppose you can see anything helpful in the future?"

She didn't even try, just shook her coiffured head and poked his hand until he removed it. "With this amount of indecision? I'll be lucky if I can see Christmas Day at all at this rate." With a longing sigh, she moved away from the dress shop window. "You're positive no dresses?"

"I'm not positive about anything!" Edward snapped again, but then he sighed too and rumpled his copper hair. The way it stuck up even after he removed his hand suggested that it wasn't the first time he had done that. "No dresses, no makeup, nothing like that. You know she doesn't like it."

She doesn't like you getting her expensive gifts, either, Alice pointed out as they started to walk again.

"She does like them," Edward protested. "She just doesn't think I should be spending money on her, which is frankly ridiculous and I keep trying to tell her that, but - "

But she's even more stubborn than you. Remember you got her that bracelet last year and she wouldn't wear it even though it was obvious she adored it?

"Hm."

Ten fruitless minutes later, Edward was so frustrated that for the first time in nearly a year he allowed himself to drift off into a bloody fantasy of hunting through the mall. He really was fairly thirsty. Vemon coated his tongue no matter how many times he swallowed it down and his mouth was dry and sour-tasting.

Christmas was always a tricky time for the Cullens. There were more people about everywhere, and that even included in the out-of-the-way places that they liked to hunt in. So hunting was restritcted to a minimum in order to avoid starting any panic about wild animals on the loose that would in turn lead to even more restricted hunting areas, and Alice, Edward, Esme or Carlise stayed with Jasper whenever he left the house.

It meant you stopped being at all picky; you just caught whatever crossed your path and sucked it bone dry, and hoped that it and whatever else you found before running across people would do to tide you over the next few days full of delicious human smells and ...

Alice elbowed him sharply in the ribs, and, ashamed of the possible future that she must have just seen, he made certain not to meet her eyes.

Get a grip, you idiot, she scolded. Edward scowled and resisted the urge to shiffle his feet. Ugh, he had clearly spent too long in high school.

"I wasn't actually going to do anything!"

Ha, could've fooled me. You were pretty decided about it.

"Oh, be quiet," he muttered.

Oh, because it's so easy to stop thinking, she replied in typically spiky fasion. You don't want to listen,then you block me.

Edward didn't deign to reply to this. They walked on in silence for more endless minutes, looking around every single shop they passed.

"Are you really telling me that you can't think of one itty-bitty little thing that Bella would like?"

"Would like, yes, of course, but - "

"Tell me one. Right now." Alice's hand closed tightly around his wrist. He raised an eyebrow at her in a "what, exactly, are you doing" expression, but she tugged his wrist impatiently. "Come on!"

"But - " he tried again. Her eyes slid a shade darker through sheer irritation, and when she next spoke it was as if to an imbecile.

"It doesn't have to be something that's perfect, Edward. It just has to be something that she won't dislike. Now hurry up before you breathe someone particularly tasty in."

Finally seeing the sense in this, he gave her the name of an album that was new out this week that Bella had expressed an interest in once or twice. Oh, and this book. And possibly this DVD, though the number of the series required escaped him (so Alice bought all six of them).

"But that's not a proper present," he complained as they drove home. They had planned a quick stop-off to hunt on the way back, but upon ringing the house Alice had been told by Renesme that she wanted to go hunting too, please, Aunt Alice? And where Nessie went, so did Bella (and usually Rosalie too, but she was already out with Emmet), and that had caused problems as far as hiding the presents went. Well, problems for Edward. Alice had merely given him a chiding look and hidden the small bags inside her own overblown purchases.

"How is it not a proper present?" she asked, visibly humouring him even if her thoughts hadn't told him the exact same thing. "It's things that she's mentioned in front of you that you know she'd like, what's the problem?"

Edward just shook his head and returned his eyes to the road. Alice wouldn't understand.

It was Christmas morning. Everyone else was smiling and enjoying their gifts - Nessie had been so excited to see her Bratz doll that she had needed to communicate the emotion via touch rather than speech. Everyone apart from Bella, the only person he had not yet presented with their present.

Nervously, he handed the wrapped presents over to Bella. She smiled but it was a tight, awkward expression, and spoke the familiar lament,

"Oh, Edward, you shouldn't have."

He had just shuffled his feet. Definitely. Note to self, stay away from all stupid hormonal teenage werewolves and other non-vampires below the age of twenty-five for several years. He had bad habits to erase.

He could hear himself babbling anxiously as she took off the neat wrapping paper:

"I'm very sorry that it's not a very good gift, it's not worth much - "

"Oh, Edward, thank you!" she squealed like the teenager she technically would be forever more, staring at the three gifts happily. "They're exactly what I wanted! How did you know?"

You didn't.

Shut up, Alice, he thought, irritated as ever that the communication didn't go two ways. Out loud he said, "Well, Alice helped a bit ..."

"Nonsense," Alice said cheerfully, toying with the free spa treatment gift vouchers Edward had presented her with. (She had known about it, of course. She had known what everyone was getting her apart from Nessie.) "Edward knew exactly what you liked. He just needed a bit of persuasion that what you wanted was worth more to you than what he thought you should have."

And that had hit home. He sent Alice a murderous glare. She smiled sweetly back at him and wiggled her fingers in a girly wave.

He felt Bella's hand on his and turned around to see her smiling at him.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want diamonds and the like?" she said softly.

"Lots," Nessie said promptly. She rolled up one sleeve of the elaborate dress Alice had coaxed her into for the day and brandished her hand like a weapon. "Wanna see?"

"Not now, sweetie," Edward said, and tried to ignore the way that everyone else in the room was now snickering. Back to the task at hand. Bella. "But I want to buy you them," he protested. Bella squeezed his hand.

"But I don't want them." She said each word very clearly and distinctly, and gradually Edward began to feel embarrassed.

"Fine." He sighed, then smiled. "I'm glad you like your present, my dear."

She leaned in for a kiss to show all was understood. Being vampires and not in need of oxygen, the kiss continued until Nessie threw wrapping paper at them and Emmet started making foul jokes.

"Will you let me buy you something nice next year?" he pleaded as they rested their foreheads together. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Maybe."

Somewhere in the back of his head, he heard Alice calling him an idiot who never learnt, but he blocked her out. Next year he would buy his Bella something that truly showed how much he loved her. That would be good.

"Merry Christmas!" Nessie proclaimed, hugging everybody in the room by turns. When she reached her parents, she flung herself between them. They embraced her happily and clung together in a big family-sized jumble.

"Merry Christmas," Bella whispered over Nessie's curly head, and Edward didn't need mind-reading powers to see that his wife was truly happy.

Maybe she and Alice had a point.

Opinions? Loved it? Hated it? Anywhere inbetween?

Thanks for reading!

xMhazx