AN: "The Checklist" inspired this one. Same universe as "Imperfect Legacies." Amy is my brainchild and I love her.

Things I am not allowed to do as written by Amy DiNozzo.

1. Swear.

2. In any language, including but not limited to: English, Hebrew, German, Italian, Russian, French, and Spanish.

3. In fact, I should stop asking Gibbs to teach me Russian. Most of his vocabulary would make a sailor blush.

4. I may not call Tali a prude (even if she is) she is my older sister. It is rude.

5. I may not tell Michael he is a "napyshchennogo osla" he does not understand Russian, and when he asks Mom what it means, it is not worth being grounded.

6. I may also no do this in any other language.

7. If I play one more prank on the headmaster, I will be grounded all summer.

8. It doesn't matter if I only need one more to set the school record.

9. Nor do my parents care that there is no proof that I committed the crimes of which I was accused.

10. Putting spiders in Michael's bed is mean, not funny. I am not to do this.

11. Just because they are dead does not mean it doesn't count.

12. I am no longer allowed to put anything in Michael's bed. End of story.

13. I must not write stupid fanfiction. No one appreciates it.

14. I may not change my name to "Overlord Amy." My parents named me Amy Marie nothing else.

15. My mother is no longer an assassin, and has never been a ninja.

16. I am not to imply that she is.

17. I am not allowed to scare the other kids in my class by telling them I can shoot a gun.

18. Nor may I sit in the back of a class and mutter to myself.

19. No matter what Abby says, I may not get a tattoo until I am of age.

20. No exceptions.

21. Even if I know for a fact that Michael got one when he was 16.

22. Blackmailing people is illegal.

23. As is forceful coercion of information, I am to remember this.

24. I may not sleep past noon. It is a waste of the day.

25. I may not make sexual innuendos about Jenny and Gibbs. They are my elders. It is wrong.

26. On that note, I may not sell information to any tabloids.

27. Even if it is fake, Jenny will kill me.

28. When I hear someone say, "I've heard every possible joke about Deep Six" I am not to take it as a challenge.

29. I am not to write a biography detailing my life as the daughter of Antonia and Zeke.

30. I must not say that I am to pranking what Michael is to sucking. It is rude.

31. I must also not "accidentally" spill any boiling liquid on my sister's fiancé's lap.

32. When McGee is promoted over Vance when Jenny retires I am not allowed to sing, "Ding Dong the Wicked Vance is Dead."

33. I may not cite "righteous indignation" as my reason for doing any of these things.

34. "Temporary insanity" is also not a good excuse.

35. Under no circumstances am I allowed to work for the FBI.

AN: Amy is the person I wish I had the courage to be. She also hasn't been getting any time in "Imperfect Legacies." Please drop me a line if you're up to it/ want to see more lists.