He'd fought it long enough. In fact he was surprised he'd lasted this long. With the radiation rolling inside of him, decimating the inner workings of his body The Doctor could almost see the clock running to its end, rapidly ticking towards something he wasn't completely sure he wanted.
Still he'd held on those last few moments, for them. His companions. His brilliant, beautiful companions. Every single one of them special to him in some way. They were like books, the lot of them. Each one containing memories, good and bad, that he knew he couldn't keep. The curse of the time lords. The more he remembered...the more painful it became. He could think back on all his companions, but even the happy memories brought pain eventually. As much as he hated it, it was a lot easier to just push it all away.
Especially when some of his companions had been dealt cruel hands. Like Donna, who he hadn't even been allowed to say goodbye to. He'd watched her for a bit, but that's all he could do. He didn't want to risk hurting her by stirring up locked memories.
And Rose...his Rose, shinning like the sun with that wide smile. He'd had to settle with one last glimpse. A passing meeting on the street that she probably wouldn't remember...a past Rose. She was his, and yet not really.
He was glad he'd saved her for last. It was some comfort to know that when it happened, her face would be the most vivid in his mind.
Stepping into the TARDIS he leaned against the door and gasped for air. The radiation was filling him and he could feel it throbbing through his body, making him feel like he was about to burst. Letting his eyes fall, he lifted a hand and stared horrified at the golden tint to his skin, the power of regeneration the golden light that would leave him behind and birth someone new.
Once more he could feel that painful certainty that this was the last thing he wanted. He had too much he hadn't done yet. One short lifetime with all the possibilities snatched away from him before he had the chance to actually live. Fear rocked him as a surge of nausea rolled through him and his eyes closed to steady himself, one hand gripping the handrail of his TARDIS. He was not ready, he didn't want to go.
Gulping he lifted his eyes and scanned the TARDIS for what he knew was going to be there. What was always there.
"Hello old friend." The old voice said, tone calm as always. The Doctor stared in mild defeat at the figure that sat, legs crossed at the ankles, in his chair.
"I don't want to go. Not yet." He muttered, stumbling forward. Sweat had broken on his brow as he fought it back, battling with the radiation that had already killed him. Holding onto the last edges of his life.
"No one ever does. But we all do eventually...well, all except me of course." The well dressed man smiled, before holding out a little cardboard tray. "Fish and chips?" He offered, a small smirk playing at his lips. Seeing the look The Doctor gave in return Death just shrugged his shoulders and took back his offering. "Suit yourself." He said, before nibbling at his meal.
"Just this once couldn't you look the other way? Can't you take it back, give me more- Augh!" The pain doubled him over. "give me more time. Please."
"You know I can't. It's bad enough your species 'cheats' me for so long. I can't give you more. All I can do is watch and wait." By now the tenth incarnation of The Doctor had stumbled to the console of his ship, his breath coming in sharp gasps and the golden light flowing from his hands and around his neck was stronger now. Any minute now it would happen, and he was getting too weak to fight against it.
"Tell me old friend. Is this it? Or will we be meeting again?" Death's eyes were somber, two black pools that held billions of years, maybe more. "It always was hard to tell with Time Lords."
The Doctor closed his eyes and sighed, golden light coming out in his breath. "I don't want to go." He whispered. And the word meant more then just one thing. With it he let go, yes he didn't want to die. Didn't want some new face and body to swagger off with his name and his memories. But at the same time the words held a meaning to the well dressed man who always sat with him at the end. The one companion that was constant, waiting and ever patient.
It said to go away. It said that he might not be ready for this change but he wasn't accepting Death yet. He wasn't ready to die, not permanently.
With a nod Death was gone, disappeared as though he'd never been. Though his presence lingured like the soft brush of silk in the air. Not two minutes after, The Doctor let go and an explosion rocked the TARDIS. The Radiation ruptured out of him like a nuclear explosion bursting out in light almost as blinding as the sun. His last thought before he was wiped away, gone forever, was of a shinning golden haired girl with a brilliant smile.