DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto...never will....*Sobs hysrerically* oh, well..
This, my dear readers is my version of a crack fic...completely stupid and pointless...i got bored -_-'
Enjoy!!!!
________________________________________KILLER WEASELS______________________
Kisame Hoshigaki.
Age: 18
Current Occupation: Official Itachi Ticker-Offer
.....
Black eyes glanced at the bright red numbers on his alarm clock as he picked up the cordless phone.
3A.M.
"Hey! Itachi! Whatchya doin, man?"
"..."
3 A.M....in the morning...
"Guess what! There's this awesome movie on about killer-weasels!"
3A.M. in the bloody morning....
"You should see this! These things are huge! Dude he just bit this guy's hand off!"
CLICK
..................4:30...A.M....
"..."
"Hey! I'm bored! Wanna do something?!"
4:30...A.M.... in the morning!
CLICK...
5:45...A.M....
Black eyes narrowed dangerously as he glared at the phone... the rining phone....
5:45..in the bloody morning!
CLICK
Itachi Uchiha
Age: 18
Current Occupation: Murderer
~~~*Konaha HighSchool*~~~
Kisame Hoshigaki grinned evilly as he watched the black haired teen scowl at his locker. The stupid thing was jammed...or something... Not that Kisame would know anything about it...
The bell rung and he pushed himself off of the wall he'd been leaning against. Somehow managing to keep his face completely straight, Kisame approached the Uchiha.
"Something wrong, Tachi-kun?"
The shorter teen turned his head to glare at him. The intensity of the black fire dancing in those dark orbs made Kisame want to turn tail and run. He was actually surprised he didn't suddenly burst into flames.
"..What Did You Do?"
Kisame pulled off something dangerously close to a pout. "Me?! How could you think that? I'm hurt! Deeply!"
A nerve under Itachi's right eye began to tick.
He couldn't help it. He laughed. It was so much fun to mess with Itachi that any consequences he might suffer later at the Uchiha's hand was definately worth it. He danced backwards to avoid the pale hand that reached for his arm. No way was he getting caught just yet!
"Later Tachi!"
For an instant Itachi considered chasing him down and... To much work. Then he considered the odds of getting away with skipping the whole blasted day, and just going home...back to bed...
'Hn. Not very likely.'
With a sigh of resignation the raven turned his attention back to the problem at hand...His locker. He didn't have any proof, just a hunch, but he knew Kisame had something to do with it. Glaring, he gave it another tug and felt the urge to punch something. It didn't budge. What had he used? Cement?
The thought made his stomach twist. 'Stupid fish.'
~~~*Cafeteria after school*~~~
The teen leaned forward, resting his chin in the palm of his right hand. 'Shouldn't be too long now...'
Kisame was snickering as the doors to the lunch room were all but blasted open. He tilted his head and couldn't stop the grin. The dark, menacing figure that strode into the room was most definately a sight. Long black strands of silk falling free of the usually perfect ponytail, black eyes swirling with hints of red (he had learned earlier that strange display only happened when Itachi was particularly ticked) and a rather frightening sneer plastered to his handsome face.
Itachi frowned as those dark eyes searched the empty room for his prey. And when he found him, he was going to kill him......'there.'
Kisame could feel his blood heat up as the teen approached him, murder in his eyes.
'Sexy...' Kisame stood and crossed his arms over his chest. This was going to be interesting.
Itachi ignored the amused expression as made his way over to stand beside Kisame. "You." He grabbed the other male's shirt and jerked him forward.
Kisame blinked and gave him an innocent look. "Yes, Itachi-kun? Is there something wrong?"
"You...you..."
Kisame tilted his head in question and grinned. "I what?"
Deciding he didn't much care for the look on Kisame's face, Itachi punched him.
Kisame didn't even try to dodge the blow. The fist made easy contact with his jaw, jerking his head to the side. Well, at least it wasn't broken...
"Was that really neccesary Itachi?"
The raven glared. His breath quickened. "I hate you."
The words stung but there was no feeling behind them and Kisame shoved them to the back of his mind. "I'm aware."
"You put a freaking weasel in my car!" He hissed.
"Yep."
"You think this funny fish face?"
Kisame arched an eyebrow. "Maybe..."
A moment of silence passed between them. Then... "Why."
"Why? because you're too uptight. Because I was bored. Because you're hot when you're pissed off."
Itachi took a deep breath. He should beat the bloody daylights out of him. Really... so then why was his cheeks warming? Why did he actually relax?....
"You think I'm hot?"
"Yes."
"Where did you even get the idea to throw a weasel in the front seat of my new mustang?"
"Kisame grinned as he leaned forward and sealed his lips over the others. It didn't take much persuasion to free himself and slide his arms around his waist. He couldn't help but chuckle as he pulled away for a breath. "Killer weasels...."
Itachi groaned as he kissed the psychotic fish. 'Killer weasels?....'
3 A.M....in the morninng...
"Guess what! There's this awesome movie on about killer-weasels!"
"I'm gonna kill you!"