Mike sat slumped in his chair proof-reading the 5000 epic that made up the Wyatt briefs, seriously considering death by paper cuts when a deranged cackle rang through the associates area. Peering over the edge of his cubicle (or hate den as Mike had affectionately deemed it), he saw Harold curled up on the floor by the water-cooler, sweating slightly and devouring a paperback novel with an intensity Mike had never seen him put into his work. He watched as Harold's glassy eyes zoomed over the page with alarming rapidity until he gasped and blushing a patchy tomato red, let out another cackle.
The sight of the apparently demented associate took precedence over the trawl of death and so Mike resigned himself to another all-nighter as he made his way over to Harold.
"What'cha got there?" he asked, leading over to get a better look at the book. Mike was not judging a book by its cover when he said that this was a book he would go to any lengths to avoid; the intertwined figures in translucent shirts and inhumanly tight trousers paled in comparison to the title which screamed 'The Lusty Lawyers – Litigation and Libidos' in garish pink. Harold looked up, apparently startled by Mike's question and jerked away, coiling himself round the book, teeth bared ferociously.
Backing away from Harold who was once again transfixed by the novel, Mike returned to his cubicle and settled down with the Wyatt briefs. Such events were not uncommon at Pearson-Hardman, the pressure cooker of over-worked and under-rested associates meant traumatic breakdowns were a weekly event, providing the partners with a constant source of amusement. But as Mike marked the last clause in the last sub-section on the last page with a weary 'it's 5.59am and I have to start working again at 6' look worn by most associates stamped on his face, he saw Harold who had remained on the floor and was now asleep a stupid grin on his face.
Mike walked over and gently eased the book from his hands – being caught asleep at work was one thing, caught asleep with an apparently very vivid smut novel was another – and stared blankly at it for a full 5 seconds.
He shook his head and stared again, hallucinations brought on by a night full of Red Bull and corporate contracts were surely the only explanation for what he was seeing.
'The Lusty Lawyers – Litigation and Libidos,
Starring Mick Russ and Hardy Spoctor
by Donna Paulson'