AN: Okay, after countless edits and reedits, I think this is finally complete. Some fluff, but obviously no where near as much fluff as Creature Comforts. I don't think I could ever top that. Hah! Thanks again to all of you who read and extra thanks to those who review. You are all awesome. Anyway, enjoy.
He didn't know it was going to be such a big deal. He really didn't. He should have, though, since keeping anything secret from her for too long, more than half-a-day, inevitably stirred the pot.
And the room went silent after Lare's question. Only the clinks and clanks of Kris gathering the dirty dishes and silverware from the table echoed about. The woman was pretending not to listen in, but hearing a response to her husband's query was too enticing and she kept a keen ear focused on Joel and Ellie.
An excited tingle shot through the young girl's gut and she perked up a bit, comfortably nestled in Joel's lap. She retreated to that spot, her home, immediately upon finishing her meal. And the endearing act was so habitual that he, Lare and Kris stopped commenting on it altogether.
But out of instinct, still somewhat abiding by the what-Joel-says-goes law of the universe and since she too wasn't entirely sure why they were at Kris and Lare's for dinner, she made no attempt to answer the question. Instead, she darted her gaze upwards to Joel, hoping for an answer, like a faithful puppy with unwavering loyalty.
He looked down at her. Their eyes met, his nose hovering inches above her bangs, and they watched a smile gradually take form on each other's lips. He knew she was studying every inch of his expression, awaiting his response and eager to understand what exactly was going on. But he wasn't about to give himself up quite yet. He was enjoying the fact that he was the one dragging her along this time. Rarely did he ever have the upper hand in moments like these.
So he simply pulled his gaze up from those big, doe-eyed greenish-blues, which never was easy to do for obvious reasons, and shifted it to Lare across the table. He cleared his throat. "Reckon today's just a day to celebrate," he said as he rubbed her back, smile shifting into a sportive smirk.
She deflated a bit from the response, shoulders dipping and eyes wilting a tad, the girl desperately hoping that her curiosity would've been sated. But she was still sort of smiling because maybe she actually enjoyed the anticipation of discovering whatever he had up his sleeve, but he better spill the fucking beans soon or I'm gonna kick his ass.
After all, he just bopped her over the head with the whole thing in the first place. It was her night to cook and she was in the midst of getting things prepared when he did. Which for her was basically pulling out every item of cookware from the cupboards and making a colossal mess of their kitchen until it looked like a war zone. A chaotic heap of pots, pans, ladles, stirring spoons, spatulas, measuring cups and pretty much everything else they had, always ended up forming a giant mountain in the sink or on the counter in some manner. He'd come downstairs after showering, trimming his beard and getting dressed, which took at most twenty minutes, only to return and see their kitchen looking like a tornado had just torn through it. He'd guffaw in utter shock, take the lord's name in vain with a gasp, ask what the hell transpired and wonder as to how such a small creature made such an extravagant and, well, if he were being honest, impressive mess in such a short amount of time. And she'd be standing next to the table, dabs of sauce, flour, vegetable oil or something plastered across her cheeks with the once-functional-kitchen in shambles and hellish disarray behind her. Those big, round innocent eyes would be shimmering and she'd be smiling at him like nothing was out of the ordinary and everything was right with the world, looking so happy to see him again and eager to receive his praise.
But not tonight. He simply told her to stop, put on her shoes and come with him, thus rescuing their kitchen from another Ellie-induced disaster.
She didn't let it go on the way over though; constantly asking him, pleading and begging to be told what the fuck was going on. But he seemed to be having fun with it, so she let it slide, for the moment anyway. And right now part of her hoped Lare would pry a bit more and pose another question, which he did.
He crossed his arms, huffed, and leaned back in his chair. "That's it? Just a day to celebrate? Kris and I cooked you two a huge meal just because you felt like today was worth celebrating?" he said, half annoyed, half okay with the Texan's response. Joel's closed-off persona wasn't anything new.
Kris, with a handful of dishes, serving platters and silverware, let loose a light chuckle on her way to the sink.
Ellie wiggled in Joel's lap, leaned into the touch of his hand on the small of her back and looked up at him. "Yeah dude, why the hell is today so special?" she asked, tone sharp and eyes wide for emphasis.
He snorted. "Wouldn't you like to know," he said with a wink, pinching her nose.
She blew a raspberry, then threw her head back in annoyance before firmly planting it against his chest. A sign of defeat. "Uuuuggghhhh come on tell us already!" she groaned, voice whiny and words drawn out.
"Yeah, see Joel, you're upsetting your little girl here," Lare said.
She tugged on his sleeve and his gaze returned to her. "We wouldn't want that now would we?" she said, batting her eyes. She bit her lip and gingerly shifted in his arms, trying to make herself into something that no one could say no to. Which they both knew wasn't hard. Especially in the context of him. Maybe she wasn't defeated just yet. "Pwwweeeease?" she asked.
He sighed, pushed aside that pesky, rebellious lock of auburn hair that dangled down her face, then smiled. Maybe it was Lare's prying. Maybe it was just her. No... yeah, just her. Really. But he couldn't resist any longer, so he caved. A little anyway.
"April twenty-eighth is just a special day," he said, not breaking eye contact with the small redhead sitting in his lap. He brought his opposite arm across and wrapped it around her, rubbed her shoulder and pulled her close, encasing her in a protective perimeter. Perhaps a subtle way of implying she should know that date for some reason. It meant something... right?
Silence. Nothing but the sound of running water in the sink. Then...
Ding!
The light bulb went off in her brain, eyebrows rising, jaw dropping. He saw it, watched it gradually happen, as if the entire thing were in slow motion like a replay from a football game.
She went completely still, even stopped breathing, next breath lodging in her throat. A warming, tickling sensation fluttered through her gut. And... her face. Lit. Up. Like the night sky during the finale of a fireworks show. Her lips slowly parted, tongue twisted into a knot and mouth unable to muster up any noise other than a paper-thin, feathery and almost hurt gasp.
Had it really been a year since Salt Lake City? Had time gone by that quickly? Had they really done all of this, and experienced... everything that happened between them in the past year? And how the fuck did he remember and how the hell did he find out what the date is and oh my god the way he's looking at me right now I'm not gonna be okay if he keeps -
He kissed her forehead. Smiled against it. Let both lips rest on it longer than normal.
She tried to smile too, wanted to smile, couldn't though, instead only blankly staring at his neck with a dumbfounded expression. But her eyes, they were... fuck. They were something. Something bordering the divine. Round. Glistening. Sparkling. Glowing. Beginning to crystallize with the slightest of tears.
She finally exhaled. And with mouth agape, a pitiful, muffled noise escaped from the back of her throat in some attempt to say... words, or really anything for that matter; the girl so ecstatic and feeling all sorts of things that thinking straight wasn't something her brain could manage at the moment.
"Oh..." she started, soft, barely audible. "Oh my god." A bit louder. She paused, pulled back to bring the entirety of his face into view, eyes wilting again as every part of her small form melted in his arms. "You... you remembered," she said, voice airy, light as a feather, fragile, even a little pained from the lump quickly wedging in her throat. If she was caught off-guard earlier in the evening, she was completely blindsided now. But dear god the feeling in her gut, her heart, her whole body was beyond explanation and she wanted to fucking kick herself later for not doing something for him as well on this most special of occasions.
He laughed. Sort of. It was more of a sudden exhale tripping over a few chuckles that were light as cotton. The sound was airy and paper-thin, just like her voice, and strained from the slightest of burning sensations in his eyes because Jesus if she makes that face at me again I might crumble to pieces.
Within seconds, before she knew it, both of his palms were gently holding her face. His thumbs tenderly rubbed her eyebrows, and their eyes met once more, staring into one another's like they were the last cherished things on earth.
"You think I'd forget?" he asked.
There was no way in hell he'd forget. He'd never forget anything from that day. The sight of her when he first entered the operating room, her tiny body lying limp and unconscious on the table, the way he decimated a small army to reach her, even the exact steps he took to reach the pediatrics level, were still so clear in his mind. He would never forget. And for a second, all of those feelings and memories suddenly rushed through him once again.
And like her, a warming sensation rippled through him. But it was coupled with a chill crawling up his spine. She of course sensed it, and immediately flung both arms around his neck, pulling herself deeper into his embrace. "Joel... oh... oh my god," she said, still unsure of what to say, but also still gazing into his eyes like he was her... everything. She felt a tad embarrassed, acting all emotional and girly, un-Ellie-like, around Kris and Lare, but at this point was completely out of any fucks to even remotely care.
The table was clear and Kris sidled up next to Lare, placing a hand on his shoulder. He acknowledged the contact, rubbing it with one of his own, then shot her a confused look. She shrugged and made a face, neither of them having any clue as to what just happened, and he glanced back to Joel and Ellie. The two co-dependent beings were still staring at each other like nothing else in the world mattered; as if him and his wife were merely flies on the wall and nothing more.
He cleared his throat. "Ahem, did... did I miss something? What the hell's so great about April twenty-eighth?" he asked.
Finally, one of them acknowledged him, and Ellie spun her head around. She sniffled. Eyes glossy and brimming with tears no matter how hard she tried to stave them off. Her cheeks were flushed, the warming, loving tingle in her veins heating her to the core. And the expression across her face was unlike anything the old man had seen in... well, shit. He didn't even know if he'd ever seen a thing quite like it.
Her lips trembled, if only he fucking knew what this day meant, tried to speak but couldn't. Joel rubbed her back some more, always pouncing on every opportunity to provide her comfort, which pulled her stare back to him, then spoke up. "Let's just say it's the day we decided to..." he paused, stared deep into Ellie's eyes and wanted to kiss her forehead, freckled nose and cheeks a thousand times more. "Let go of shit, move on, an' just... live life," he said, gaze not breaking once from the small redhead's.
She let out a teary-eyed laugh and buried her face into his chest while he wrapped his arms around her once again.
Lare smiled. So did Kris. And that response in conjunction with the look across the little girl's face, the way it was now pressed against Joel's chest, the way she froze like a corpse when he responded, and the way those skinny pale arms of hers were tightly clutched around his neck said more than enough. Whatever this day was, it was clearly important, so Lare simply nodded and accepted the veiled response. "Alright, good enough for me I guess," he said.
Ellie lifted her head, looked up at Joel again, watery and puppy-eyed, and forced the lump in her throat to behave for a second so she could speak. "Can we call it JoelandEllie day?"
The other three at the table laughed, and Joel ran a hand through her hair, affectionately cupping her cheek when finished. "We can call it whatever the hell you want sweet pea," he said with a subtle grin. And the dimple-inducing smile that stretched across her lips was so big and beautiful he could've died right then and there and been happy.
Kris cleared her throat. "Well I wasn't planning on it, but does JoelandEllie day call for dessert?" she asked.
Then an immediate response. A boisterous declaration blurted out from Ellie that made no attempt to mask the emotions raging through her. "Hell yeah it does!"
Joel snorted, and if it weren't today he'd tell her to mind her tone, but instead only chuckled and kissed her forehead once again. Her eyes shut, smile widened, and she sighed happily while pushing her head into his lips like she just couldn't get enough of his affection.
Kris and Lare humorously snorted at the interaction, shooting each other an eye roll. Although, they were growing increasingly more numb to their public displays of affection by the day. Joel had told them about a few small things here and there, just enough really and no more, to give them glimpses of how... deprived of everything Ellie had been in her "childhood." So more often than not, the elderly couple made no mention of it.
"Well alright then. Dessert it is. I'll go see what I can scrounge up," Kris said with a smile before retreating into the kitchen.
Ellie, who now was swinging her legs up and down like a pendulum while perched atop Joel's lap, looked up at him and squinted. He watched her mouth morph into a smirk as she made a mischievous face, as if she were digging through that auburn-haired noodle of hers for... something. Something that would inevitably annoy him. Which of course brought her endless amounts of joy.
"Tssht - the hell's that look for?" he asked.
Lare simply leaned back in his chair with a smile, arms crossed, and watched the odd interaction.
"Well..." she happily drawled, her small frame giving way to a wiggle as she perked up in his embrace, legs still swinging like a grandfather clock. "I wish you'd told me it was JoelandEllie day this morning. There's so much shit I wanna do!"
"Well, today ain't over missy," he said.
Her legs stopped swinging. Small Elliehands slid off of his shoulders, dropping to her lap, while sock-covered little Elliefeet came to a rest beneath the chair. She stared at him, bounced her eyebrows and gave him a cheeky grin, he's gonna hate this but it's gonna be fucking awesome.
His eyes slowly widened. "Oh hell no... I know that look. Don't you be comin' up with devious schemes girl," he said, half testy, half joking, because holy fuck he was this close to picking up her dainty little self and lovingly squeezing her until his arms fell off.
She shrugged, the delicate motion slow and controlled as her cheeky grin grew in size. Which only made him squint his eyes back at her, their gazes locking onto each other's, as if to say "don't you do it girl." A battle of wills.
"What!?" she exclaimed, raising both hands to shoulder height. "I didn't say anything!" she said, tone filled with veiled innocence since she certainly was thinking anything.
And he knew it. So he rolled his eyes and sighed. "Alright, c'mon, spit it out, go on then."
Lare softly chuckled, amused with how the two communicated without really saying much at all. It reminded him of all the times he watched them tell an entire joke to each other in silence, which would always leave him utterly confused and the two of them snickering like a couple of dorks. He quietly snorted at the thought, then spoke up. "Girl's got you wrapped around her finger Tex," he said.
And actually, Joel smiled a bit that. But he couldn't let anyone else but her know it, so he was quick to shoot the old man a glance of "shut your damn mouth."
Ellie noticed, made no mention of it, but sure as hell was ready to use it as added ammunition. So she stuck out her chest a tad, lifted her chin, felt confident, and her hips gave way to a little wriggle as she batted her eyes at him. "Ohhhh Joooooeeeeel..." she drawled, voice all high-pitched, playful and girly-like. She had something up her sleeve, just like he did earlier, and that familiar tone of hers made no attempt to mask it.
He sighed, returned his gaze to her, and watched those big, rounded doe-eyes bat a few more times. Then a pause. A short moment of silence. She blinked, slowly, like one of those bug-eyed cartoon characters that Sarah used to watch on Saturday mornings, the sound effect of it still crystal clear in his head. He exhaled, deliberately, then finally responded with humored reluctance. "Yes darlin'?" He couldn't help but smirk, because of her, her face, the sound effect that played between his ears when he watched her slowly blink, and since he knew losing this game was basically inevitable.
"I know what I wanna do for our day," she said with another bat of the eyes and glowing smile, chest slightly turning to the left and right, as if she somehow knew what secret weapons were needed to break him down.
"I know you do an' I said spit it out, c'mon now," he responded.
Lare shook his head and chuckled again.
She cleared her throat, rested both hands on one of Joel's sleeves and scrunched the fabric between her fingers. She looked into his eyes, completely unaware her two front teeth were sunk into her lower lip. "I want you to teach me how to dance."
He uncorked a guffaw, eyes widening once again, what the shit, and burst into hysterics.
"Don't laugh! I'm fucking serious you ass!" she spat back.
"El-Ellie... I-I don't..." he was still laughing, wheezing, couldn't contain himself.
"Stop laughing you dick! I'll bite you if you don't! I'll do it I swear!"
Lare snickered at that, but boy did he have no idea what a bite from this little girl entailed.
Joel collected himself, drew in a deep breath, and realized there was no way she was letting him resist her persistent ways right now. Especially on JoelandEllie day. Nope. No way in hell. But he tried anyway. So he cleared this throat then responded in a rather serious tone. "No. I... I don't think so."
A feeble attempt. Silly old man. He'd have to do better than that.
"Unh-unh," she said with a shake of the head. "Nope." She crossed both arms and gave him another impish grin. "You're not getting off the hook that easy."
He shot her a scowl. "Ellie..." An Ellie coupled with a glower, that should do it right? Oh. Wait...
She gasped in feigned outrage, shocked that he'd play that card at a time like this. "What the hell man!? You're gonna Ellie me for that!? On our day!? C'mon!"
But her smile returned, and she nearly burst into spitting chuckles, because the idea that her name had basically become a verb was quite amusing, perhaps awesome. But just what did that verb, to Ellie, mean? She realized she should know, since Joel was the master of it. But how exactly did one Ellie correctly? Was there an art to it? Much like dancing? Or singing? Or even throwing a football like he taught her? And how would one conjugate said verb? I Ellie. You Ellie... He, she, it Ellies. We Ellie. They Ellie... right? Wait! Dancing. Joel. He's annoyed. You're close. Ahoy! Keep pressing!
She reclaimed her confident pose and stared at him again. Another grin. Another slow blink.
He sighed again, realizing it was useless, rubbed his brow and looked towards the floor, goddammit... it was worth a shot.
"We have a boombox and a bunch of old CDs upstairs if you want!" Kris yelled from the other end of the kitchen, the shout muffled, distorted and echoing within the depths of a cupboard.
Ellie's smile widened, and a delighted bounce rolled through her torso, shoulders perking up again. "See!? We have music too! Don't be such a fucking downer!" she said, giving him a light jab to the chest with a small, bony fist.
Lare of course joined in too. "Yeah, yeah we do actually. Here, I'll go get it. Be right back," he said as he walked out of the room, giving Joel a wink. An uncomfortable and fidgety fish-out-of-water-Joel was far too much fun to poke and prod, far too good to pass up, and the elderly man was beginning to understand why the little redhead was so intent on doing so. And she was quite adept at it too.
The gruff Texan gave him a chiding glare as he walked by, one of these days I'm gonna get you back for this, not amused with the fact that he was being ganged-up on.
Ellie tugged on his sleeve again, which roped his attention back to her. "Please, please, please Joel? Plllllleeeaaaase?" She batted her eyes once again, interlocked her hands and raised them to just below her chin in a praying gesture. "For me?" she pleaded. Face beaming. Glowing. Bright eyes filled to the brim with hope and desire. Despite being through so much, she still had the ability to put on an innocent, angelic and purity-filled facade. Clever little sprite.
And Jesus that cherubic puppy-eyed expression was something he couldn't even describe other than it was so rare and precious and fragile that perhaps it would shatter to pieces if he said no. Maybe she'd even cry... just maybe.
Fuck. That. He'd die before letting that happen, on this special day nonetheless. Caving was inevitable. He had to; the alternative something he couldn't bear to imagine, adorable little thing can play you like a fiddle. Besides, he loved seeing her like this. Jovial. Smiling. Talkative. Carefree. Untroubled. Engaging. Overflowing with childlike wonder. Like she deserved to be.
Though sometimes he'd look back on those ill-fated days during their journey to Salt Lake City, those days after finding her in that blazing restaurant, when she was all but alive and mentally there. Withdrawn into deadened silence, and detached from reality; detached from him. Fuck he hated that those days. They were torture. She'd go for hours, sometimes all day without uttering a single word, or even smiling, or uncorking a signature spitting Ellie-laugh or delightful noise of glee. Crying spells were a constant, usually out of nowhere and completely at random, triggered by the oddest of things. He tried his best to be be there for her. Really tried. And seeing her like that nearly killed him, and there was no way in hell he, let alone her, could ever do another round of that again.
But apropos of now, their new life, him, she was preciously happy, appeared undamaged and innocent as could be. Something to be cherished. And perhaps she'd locked all of those dark memories away in a deep, forbidden part of her brain that she hoped never to venture to.
So lo and behold, and to the surprise of no one, teaching his little Ellie to dance it was, like you really thought you were gonna get out of it in the first place. Although it wasn't like he had much to "teach," not being the most graceful of dancers, or really having any knowledge of how to properly do it at all. But dancing it was.
He sighed. "Fine," he spat, scratching his brow in irritation.
She unhitched a squeak of joy, unable to restrain her excitement. Such a girlish sound, and it had been escaping through the cracks of her hardened exterior more recently. He never called her on it though. Never wanted to, for a few reasons. One of which being that if he did, god knows what sort of terrors she'd concoct to get back at him. Feisty thing she was.
She threw both arms in the air and planted a quick peck against his hairline. "Hah! Yes!" she said, tone bubbling with joy. She hopped off of his lap, grabbed his hands, and made a futile attempt to pull him out of his chair, the small girl emitting light grunts, snarls and strained noises as she did so.
Nothing.
His arms went limp, dead-weight, like a rag doll, and he didn't budge. Not an inch. "Uuuuuggghh what the hell! Why the fuck are you so heavy? Are you even human!?" she said through a groan and scrunched face.
He snickered and smirked. That face she always made when frustrated with him, he loved it. A furrowed brow. Pale, freckled cheeks going a bit rigid and red. Nose crinkling. Bangs quivering a little, god you're cute.
He stared at her for a second, watched another slow blink from the little girl, then made one last attempt to get out of it. "Why don't try by yourself first, then I'll just uhh... you know, give you some pointers," he said.
"Nooooo! C'mon! Joooooeeeel!" she groaned before huffing and looking to the floor. "I'm... " She paused, took on a timid expression and delicately shifted her feet. "I'm such a dorky dancer," she said in a soft, embarrassed tone with a lopsided smirk. At least if he were dancing too, they would be dorks together. That sounded far more enticing.
He laughed and wiped a hand down his face. "An' I'm sure it's very cute," he said through the lighthearted chuckles.
She leered at him, stuck out her tongue, looking ridiculously Ellie-ish while doing so of course. "C'mon, you already said yes. You can't back out now!" she said.
He sighed again, then looked to Kris who was still preparing something sweet for them to consume later. "Dessert almost up?" he asked, praying that it was, because then he wouldn't have to do... well, this.
Kris laughed, grabbed something out of the fridge and gave him a playful wink. "Soon. But I think you two have time for a few songs."
Ellie perked up, that familiar bounce rolling through her body from feet to shoulders once again. She smiled. Wide. And didn't need to say much more, the heart-tugging expression on her face was enough to finally pry him out of his seat.
"Alright alright!" he shouted in defeat, throwing both hands into the air. He got up from his chair, treating the act as if it were the most labor intensive thing he'd done all day. "Christ sake girl," he said under his breath as he rose to his feet.
Lare returned, boombox in one hand and a small pile of CDs in the other. "Found it!" he declared as he set the stuff on the sideboard, which stood against the living room wall.
While getting dragged into the living room by a small Elliehand, Joel shot Lare an annoyed look. "Oh. Good..." he said with an eye roll. Lare simply smiled back, far too amused with watching the ornery and reserved Texan getting forced into a moment of self-expression such as this.
Ellie pulled him to the center of the room and came to a stop. She reached for and grabbed his other hand. The callused things felt heavy and rock-like against her dainty ones, but also rather stabilizing. Like always. She looked up at him and smiled. A delicate little thing that would shatter if he were to back out now. Her eyes widened, sparkled, and appeared to shimmer, and pierced straight to his soul with an innocent look of youthful hope.
Then suddenly, not wanting to, but also wanting to, she let go of his hands, because maybe she felt a bit self-conscious. No, definitely. Since feeling like this was rather strange, but she was still beaming.
A smile of his own gradually stretched across his lips from the sight of her, Jesus, you must be doin' somethin' right if she's this happy. There was no denying her. And there was no fucking way he was about to be the person who disappointed her on JoelandEllie day. So now he really was all in.
He swallowed hard, then presented a hand, waited for her to retake it. "C'mere," he said when she hesitated, voice strong, instructive, but safe.
She gulped, beaming expression shifting to innocent naivety. "Okay," she peeped, airy and a tad hesitant. Because there was something in his expression and tone that told her he was all in. And that this was no longer some stupid game. No. This was serious now. Joel was about to teach her how to dance, for real. She asked for it. And every part of her prayed that her legs and arms would move correctly so as not to fuck it all up.
She obeyed the first instruction, placed a small hand in his palm, the entirety of it engulfed by his. He wrapped his fingers around it, gently cradled it as if it were a delicate baby bird. And feeling that rough but tender touch around her hand said everything was okay, that he had her, like always, more than any words could.
She shuffled towards him, the short motion full of uncertainty. The tips of their toes touched. "Is... " she gulped again. "Is this good?" she asked, gazing up at him like he contained the answer to every question in the universe.
He smiled again. "Perfect." He wrapped his other arm around her back to hold, support and guide her. "Here, now get on my feet."
A weird instruction. Her jaw dropped, slowly, mouth opening wider than usual. Tongue and lips were dry. Maybe because she was breathing a little harder and faster than normal. Was she actually nervous? "Wha - what?" she asked, the response crawling through her dry lips like molasses. It was an uncontrollable slip of the tongue, because she'd never choose to pass up an opportunity to be close to him. And he knew it.
"Go on, it's fine. Reckon it'll be easier to start out that way."
She was hesitant, awkward, all delicate and fragile as she shuffled onto his feet. Caution with every inch forward. She looked down, took note of how enormous his feet were compared to hers. Both of hers were completely atop his quite comfortably, even with some room to spare. "Like this?" she asked, a nervous, subdued laugh slipping out as well.
He brought her into him, tugged her a bit closer with the arm wrapped around her back, held her a bit tighter. Her face was almost up against his shirt, just above the height of his stomach. And he chuckled too. A light laugh, like hers, merely from the shallow depths of his throat, lacking any substance and body, which seemed to release some tension from his little girl. "Like that," he said.
She smiled again and looked up at him. She felt so small there. Atop his feet. In his embrace. One of his hands cradling hers. The other firmly holding her with its arm wrapped around her back, her little frame safely pressed up against him. That feeling of being protected, that familiar warming tickle rippled through her gut. It was deliciously sweet and tingly, always said 'hello' when he held her, and she knew nothing in the fucking world could harm her there. She was safe there, protected like always, and still loved it. That would never get old.
But she usually hated being so tiny. Her small stature usually had her feeling weak compared to everything else, when she knew she was just as strong if not stronger; certainly stronger willed if nothing else. But with him... well, they both quietly adored her petite form. She fit perfectly in his enveloping arms. If she were bigger, he wouldn't be able to practically wrap himself around her and fiercely guard her from all horrors of the world. He still could pick her up, toss her around, lift her in the air, cradle and hold her against him, snuggle her in ways she only dreamed someone could snuggle her during her painfully lonesome days in Boston. And in the weirdest of ways she loved that. And so did he. It was a constant, silent, unwritten understanding between the two of them.
Sometimes he'd just randomly scoop her up and choose to carry her around for awhile. She'd let out some squeaky high-pitched sound of surprise, maybe squirm for a second at most, then stop upon realizing exactly what was transpiring. Sometimes he'd hold her by the underside of her legs, propping her up so her head was actually above his. And she'd smile, lift her chin, looking quite proud that she was ruling her domain from that throne of hers; his arms. She was on top of the world there.
So, yeah, in the context of him... fuck she loved being so small. And he loved it too.
He smiled back, stared into her big, round, vibrant eyes, and gave her a look that told her he knew exactly what she was thinking. The contrast of their sizes, his large frame, her small self, was... perfect.
"You good?" he asked, care behind both words, because her happiness and well-being always took priority over everything else.
She nodded, ponytail bobbing against his forearm, mouth still clinging to that wonderful, delicate smile. "I'm good." She was good. Better than good. Perfect, in fact. There was no place she'd rather be than right there, with him, safely held by the firm, loving grasp of a strong Joelarm.
But she was a bit tense. Muscles tight. Throat clenched a tad. And yeah, definitely nervous. He felt it pouring out of her, and watched the gears grind away in that self-conscious noodle of hers.
"C'mon, loosen up. We're alright. Take a deep breath," he said.
Another wise instruction. She closed her eyes and did so, was he like some super secret awesome dancer guy years ago? No, he was just Joel. The man who knew how to soothe her soul and chase away all maladies that plagued her, no matter how big, small or trivial.
Breaking his silence for the first time in minutes, Lare couldn't help but burst into chuckles. "You two suck at this," he said through his laughs as he leaned against the wall, adjacent to the sideboard with the boombox.
Ellie darted her head around, gave him a leer and snorted, clearly not amused with the old man's comment.
To her, and to Joel, the whole moment seemed to slow down and feel so... precious; the way she was precariously perched atop his feet, but also somehow completely stabilized by him. And soon there'd be music. Soon she'd probably be laughing and smiling, giving some strange attempt at "dancing." It'd be a moment for them to remember forever.
But of course on the outside looking in, she knew they'd probably just end up looking awkward as could be. Silly and stupid. Like idiots. Like a couple of ungraceful drunks stumbling into the pisser after a long night of slurred speech and empty promises to chase deeply embedded childhood dreams.
Joel sensed her ire, gave her a loving squeeze and shot Lare a look. "Well you gonna play us somethin' or what old man?" he said, tone audibly agitated because how dare that man make his little girl squirm.
Lare rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah. Just give me a second, hang on," he responded, then began sifting through the pile of CDs.
That pulled Ellie's smile up again. Joel gave her a wink, "relax, we're okay."
She simply gulped and nodded again, eyes not breaking from his for a second. Then a pause between them, the only sound echoing throughout the room being the CDs sliding against each other as Lare sifted through them. Her heart started to race, gut began to warm, skin started to flush, because she was actually going to dance when the music started. With Joel. And she had no idea what the fuck she was doing but dear god she hoped her feet would mindlessly follow his and she wouldn't go toppling over.
But he wouldn't let her topple to the floor. Nope. They both knew that.
She tried to take another deep breath. Operative word being tried. It ended up being shallower than she wanted, and he noticed. Then another subdued and embarrassed-stricken laugh from her throat. "I have no idea what I'm doing," she said with a timid expression, still gazing up at him.
He cleared his throat. "I don't either." The response was deep, serious, raspy as usual. Yeah, he didn't know what the fuck he was doing either. But he knew he didn't know what he was doing, which oddly made her feel better.
And for some reason, the confidence behind that put her at ease. Made everything okay, because that was just... Joel. He'd figure it out. For her. Like he always did. Because he always came through in the clutch, always, like one of those really good... what did he call them... quarterbacks? I think that's right.
Lare found a CD that appeared to be usable and not scratched beyond repair, wiped the dust off of it, then broke the silence once again. "Uhhh how about... 70's slash 80's?" he asked, reading aloud the label in permanent ink on the white, generic custom made CD.
"Oh! I like that one!" Kris shouted from the kitchen.
Joel nodded. "Reckon that'll do just fine," he replied, gaze not breaking from the little redhead, who'd completely surrendered in his arms and gone quiet as a mouse at the moment.
Quiet. Surrendering. That was quite un-Ellie-like. But it was just him, her Joel. And right now it's what she wanted, and of course he knew it.
"Alright then, 70's and 80's it is," Lare said as he pushed the disc into the boombox.
"Ready baby girl?" Joel softly asked.
"Ready," she said, still smiling.
Lare squinted, old and worn eyes attempting to find the play button. "Goddamn I'm getting old," he muttered under his breath. He finally found it, scarred, callused and frail fingers fumbling with the buttons as he did so, and pressed play.
Then it started. The music. It encompassed and took hold of the entire room, a wonderful, delightful and warm sounding melody from an acoustic guitar. It was uptempo, quick, bouncy and catchy, and Joel recognized it right away, a subtle, lopsided smirk stretching across his lips instantly.
Ellie perked up, another small bounce rippling through her body as her face lit up like the sun. All of her previous self-conscious tension dispersed and she smiled. So fucking wide the dimples in her cheeks were like canyons, the whites of her teeth showing. She'd never heard it before, whatever it was, but to her almost-virgin-ears when it came to music, it sounded like... she didn't even know how to describe it. Heavenly? She just knew she liked it. And watching the smile that encompassed his face as a wave of nostalgia struck him only made her like it that much more.
"Oh..." she started, voice high, brimming with excitement and cracking a bit. She swallowed, because speaking right now for some reason was difficult. Were her eyes beginning to water ever so slightly? Maybe, she thought, made no attempt to stop them if they were, wasn't even embarrassed. "Oh my god. What is this? Do... do you like it?"
He chuckled under an exhale, unable to keep himself from feeling nearly crushed by the moment, her, the song, and those full-bodied, crystallizing greenish-blues of hers. "Ain't really my cup of tea, but I reckon everyone likes this song."
She giggled, airy, light, stupid and girly, the sound somehow weaving perfectly with the melody of the song.
Lare turned the volume up a bit. "C'mon, time's wasting! Let's see what you got Tex!" he yelled.
"Alright, here we go," Joel said to her with a grin. He carefully moved to the left, guiding her small frame with him. She unconsciously let loose a quiet and surprised squeak, eyes widening as he shifted, and she suddenly went stiff when he tried to move.
"You're alright, just follow my feet," he said. And within seconds she relaxed with an exhale, letting her feet mindlessly glide with his upon feeling a gentle tug from his arm. His voice, his arms, his terse but powerful way with words... always made her feel like anything was possible, you got this Ellie, just follow his lead.
He stepped back to the right, but she nearly fell over trying to keep her feet plastered to his. Another giggle, a bit timid. And her face flushed, heartbeat increased, because... well, okay, yeah, she was definitely at least a little embarrassed.
He caught her and chuckled too, soft and understanding, supporting her weight while pulling her back into him. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and steadied her in the crook of his arm, the quick correction roping out yet another I'm-too-embarrassed-to-speak type of laugh from the little girl.
"We're good we're good. I gotcha," he said, the promise calm, supportive, true, and soft. As soft as Joel Miller could be. Like an old, worn and cheap t-shirt washed one too many times. And there was a familiarity to it, I gotcha, that felt like coming home.
She took a deep breath and glanced down at her feet because dammit Ellie! Don't fucking fall on your face like an idiot! Then she heard a clicking of the tongue, or a kissing noise, she wasn't sure which, from up above; from him.
"C'mon, up here sweet pea, you don't need to look at your feet. You got this," he said.
She slowly lifted her head, the melody of the music still filling her ears, eyes dancing in their sockets, unable to focus on anything but continually glancing down at his platform-like feet... His shirt. His feet. His neck. Feet. Chin. Feet. Joelbeard. Feet. And... finally. They settled. On his. Everything else around him faded into the background, anchored by him. And everything seemed okay. She was moving, sort of, with him, as one. Awkward as hell feeling, and probably hilariously stupid to watch from Lare's perspective, but she wasn't in the mood to think about that right now.
"See? You're doin' great," he said. Another vote of confidence. She could do anything as long as he was by her side, and the reddish heat that took hold of her cheeks drained away.
She sidled up closer into him, eyes locked onto his, and laughed again. This time a genuine laugh, but still a bit teary-eyed, then she quickly cleared her throat. "Hell yeah I am!" she said, spouting the words with a prideful wiggle. Now that was more like it, more Ellie-like. Definitely.
The constant melody of the music, some combination of acoustic guitar and keyboard along with lyrics, continued to encompass the room, them. She'd never heard it before. And he hadn't heard it since... shit, he couldn't even remember. But it was cheerful, happy, and maybe even a bit carefree, like frolicking through a sprawling open field covered with bright green grass and wildflowers and topped by a clear blue sky.
They weren't exactly dancing to the beat or tempo of it. No, it was more of a sway, and much slower, which only added to the strangeness of the whole ordeal. But for now that was okay. And when he gazed back down into those eyes again his knees nearly buckled because she looked so ridiculously, indescribably fucking happy it nearly killed him. It even felt like everything they'd been through, everything they'd endured, was worth it just for this moment alone.
Seconds turned to minutes and eventually he sped up a bit, taking her across the living room floor in successively bigger strides.
Lare whistled. "Damn Tex, you got moves son!"
He didn't even respond. Didn't even glance his way. Eyes never broke from hers, not for a second. He had no idea what the fuck he was doing, but she, his everything, was bursting at the seams with joy and there was no way in hell he was about to stop. And... was he smiling like a fool too? His cheeks even ached a tad. Oh, yeah, he totally was. Bursting at the seams just like she was if he were being honest.
Then, just as quickly as she found herself atop his feet and in his arms, the music stopped. It was done. Just like that, and her smile began to fade, shoulders dipped, eyes wilted. "Oh..." she peeped, a muffled sound rife with disappointment.
She stepped off his feet, didn't want to, but did anyway, still resting her hand in the warmth of his callused palm. Warmth, a strange sensation to feel from him. But good. Great.
He cleared his throat, slightly turned his head towards Lare's direction, eyes still tethered to hers. "Hey, Lare."
"Yeah?"
"Hit the repeat button an' turn it way up." He turned his head back to her and smiled again.
Her smile returned and he swore beams of light shot from face she looked so happy. "Again!?" she shouted with a bit more excitement than she wanted to let on. And again was exactly what she wanted because now she wanted to move, jump, run, spin and fly around the room, the little girl hardly able to contain herself.
He simply nodded.
Lare did as told and pressed the repeat button. The song started again, causing Ellie's face to glow in the exact same manner as it did before.
She grabbed both of Joel's hands and jumped up and down. "Now we do it my way!" she shouted over the music with a cheeky grin.
"Oh brother..." he said with an eye roll.
She couldn't hear him over the music, but knew him well enough to know exactly what left his lips.
He of course gave in. And now that same heavenly melody was blasting through the speakers and she was pulling him along the room in big circles, running, hopping, skipping, jumping, rocking her shoulders back and forth looking stupid but giddy and precious as ever because she didn't want this to end, couldn't let it end...
Then a sudden stop. She lunged forward into his arms, arching her back and standing on her tiptoes as she sang along with the song, "eagle flew out of the night!" She laughed, spun around and pulled away, shot him a goofy smile-ridden glance. "I love that line!" she declared.
He snorted and shook his head, unable to restrain the irresistible smile that was stretching across his lips as well. It was just about as big as hers, but part of him wanted to stop this nonsense right now since he knew they looked like a couple of idiots.
But he didn't. No way. He couldn't remember the last time he felt like... this. And seeing her overflowing with pure unhindered joy was... well, it was something.
So he went all in. Flailed his arms around, jumped up and down and chased her around the room in circles, pretending to be some sort of monster. Playful roars, laughs, giggles and shouts filled the room along with the music; that melody taking hold of their ears, their souls, the whole house.
He finally caught up to her, grabbed her, pulled her into his arms and let out a roar, "rrrraaawrrr!"
She squealed, couldn't keep it down, legs curling at the knees and rising into her chest in an act of retreat as he lifted her up. "Eeeeek! Oh my god!" she shouted, voice rife with joy as he smothered her cheeks with kisses and pretended to gnaw on her ear.
Both of them were red in the face and panting from horsing around, laughing and smiling like everything was right with the world. Then he set her down, lowered his face to hers, until their foreheads touched, both of them readying to sing along with the next part.
"Grab your things I've come to take you home!" they sang in unison, shouting the lyrics at the top of their lungs. And they were looking at each other as if they knew that line had to mean something between them.
Yeah, definitely a couple of dorks. But playful as ever. Carefree as ever. Happy as ever.
Then he slid both hands beneath her armpits and looked into her eyes. He was smiling. Smiling like Joel Miller hadn't smiled in over twenty years. "You ready baby girl!?" he shouted over the music.
She smiled too, wide, eyes sparkled, mouth dropped, the pink of her tongue showing behind her teeth. "For what!?"
And without saying a word, he picked her up by the armpits in one swift motion, lifted her into the air and started spinning. Really spinning.
"What the!? Ohhhhhh my god!" she yelled, eyes round with shock because holy shit I'm fucking flying! "Fuck yeah!" she declared with a giggle and shit-eating grin. Her small hands grabbed a hold of his sleeves for support and her legs flung outward from the centripetal force, ponytail doing the same, the auburn thing pulled taught into the air behind her like a horse's tail when the animal dashes across an open meadow.
Then everything slowed. Came to a crawl. As if time itself came to a standstill. The room was spinning and everything around her faded into a blur. But their eyes locked in one another's.
And before she knew it, a constant spew of laughs and giggles and shouts of joy are bellowing from her gut and she's spinning around him like he's her anchor because he's always been her anchor and his face is all she can focus on while the universe rotates around her so fast she can't keep her head on straight and she's carefree and laughing and having fun like a little girl should at least once in her life and holy shit he's looking at her in a way that's bringing tears to her eyes because she feels so fucking cheated that life has been so unfair and cruel to her because why the hell didn't he come find her sooner and care for her and love her and save her from years of pain and malnourished torture and the absence of affection and where was he when she was brought into this awful world but thank god she found him eventually because now she's happy for once and oh can her hair not fly in her face right now because he's still looking at her like she's all that matters like she's his everything and the music is divine and wonderful and the amount of love dripping out of him is melting her into pudding and if there is a heaven it has to be this and is she crying now she's not sure but probably because she's so happysad and loves him so much she doesn't have the words to express it and now hot streams of tears are rolling down her cheeks and it's hard to breathe because she is crying and smiling and flying and spinning and sniffling and laughing and -
He stopped. Immediately. Song still blaring through the speakers. He set her down to her feet, gulped, eyes widening in fear as if he'd just seen a ghost because oh Jesus what the hell did you do to make her cry you big old dumb fuck!?
Unable to restrain herself, she let out some sort of tear-jerking, squeaky noise as she dove into him; the slender, bean sprout of a girl nearly knocking him over.
Pale bony arms firmly grasped around his shoulders. Skinny denim clad legs wrapped and clung around his waist. Her face buried into his neck and tears of... something ran down her freckled cheeks that were red from happysad heat.
He clutched her. Immediately wrapped both arms around her as if it were pure instinct, one across her shoulder blades, the other across the small of her back, then spouted a frantic string of words. "Oh god baby what happened sweetie talk to me what'd I - "
She sniffled, was crying, wasn't even trying to hold it back. "I - I love you so much. Don't... don't... please don't ever leave me Joel. Please," she said, voice quavering and muffled against his neck. Pained, carefree, happy and sad all at the time. She sniffled again, was shaking, and somehow quivered more when she felt his arms tighten around her little self because she couldn't bear the thought of never feeling that again.
Not knowing what the fuck else to do because he hadn't ever seen her quite like this, he gave her a loving squeeze and let out a muffled laugh, "oh Christ," shock, surprise, astonishment... sort of. But there was a sense of relief behind it that made him feel weightless, and he raised a hand to cradle the back of her head as he spoke. "Jesus s-s-sweetheart I'd never..." he muttered, words tripping and tumbling through the airy chuckles. But he swallowed hard, quickly squashing the laughs into his gut because stop it asshole don't make her think you're mockin' her since now really ain't the goddamn time.
He drew in a breath, willed himself to speak clearly. "You know I ain't ever gonna leave you honey. Never," he soothed into ear, loud enough so she could hear him over the music, and tone far more serious this time, then gave her cheek a lengthy smooch.
She laughed too, or sobbed, wasn't sure which and neither was he. The sound was hoarse and wounded, but light and airy like his, happysad, tear-filled and real, but she didn't care. She tightened her arms and legs around his neck and waist, tried to press herself even harder against him.
The music was still playing, only beginning to fade out and come to a close, moving into the background of everything else.
"I love you to death baby girl. An' you've got me forever. Don't ever forget it," he cooed, again into her ear.
Baby girl. Those words still had such an effect on her. Amazing. Magical even.
Another teary-eyed laugh, coupled with a smile that had tears dripping off of her dimpled cheeks, emitted from her little frame. "You make me so happy and have loved me like no one else has and I'm so glad you did it, all of it, and I just want to forget it all and fucking live life, live life with you and be happy," she said, rapidly pushing the words through her lips like she couldn't do it fast enough.
He smiled, dug his nose into her hair, closed both eyes and took in her scent. "We are livin' life, right now. Trust me. We are."
She pressed the button of her nose into his neck, tears wiping against his skin and she giggled again, still smiling, still crying. "Th - thank you. Thank you. For everything."
He massaged the back of her neck with a few fingers, that small tuft of hair right underneath her ponytail always so soft, closed his eyes and smiled against her temple. "No sweetheart. Thank you."
They were living life. They'd done more living in the past year than either had done in the last ten. All because on April twenty-eighth, one year ago today, they decided to move on from the Fireflies. From the virus. From everything that nearly broke them, all of it, and embarked on the next chapter of their lives. Ready to live life like it was meant to be lived. Whatever the fuck that meant in the current state of the world, but they sure as hell were intent on finding what that was. And they had, already. Right now more than ever.
And Lare, leaning against the wall with tears welling at the base of his eyes as he observed the whole scene, felt his wife's touch on his shoulder. "Everything okay?" she asked, the music now soft, but still providing a soundtrack to entire moment in its waning seconds of life.
He swallowed hard and nodded. He sniffled, looked at her, then back at the two damaged-but-not-broken-souls living in his living room before taking a deep breath. "Yeah, great," he said. He smiled. Wide. "Perfect, actually."
AN: For those who haven't already figured it out, the song that's played is titled Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel, which is what this entire oneshot is sort of based around; hence the title. This oneshot has a lot of personal significance for me, for a variety of reasons, one of which being the song itself. I am not particularly a big fan of Peter Gabriel, at all really, but that song is very, very good, and has a boatload of meaning behind it. There are quite a few interpretations of it, but now it always makes me think of Joel and Ellie. Especially the end of the game, what it means between them, what they've been through, and more importantly, how they plan to move on, let go, and take the plunge when it comes to just living life.
Also, this is sort of an homage to Ashley Johnson's interpretation of the ending of the game. Which by the way, I've accepted as canon. Since it's the only interpretation that, from a human psychology point of view, makes sense, and that keeps me from getting depressed and committing arson. Sooo... yay!
Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, cheers.