Warning: Rated M because of attempted rape
I'm telling this story now, in hope that nothing like this will appear on screen :D
Syed's POV
"I think it's going really well. I haven't thought about….him…. in ages."
I couldn't bring myself to say his name because it still hurt. Mainly because of the fact that nothing had changed, I was still in love with him. Christian. Who else.
I didn't trust Allen, nor did I believe that he could 'cure' me. It was all for my mother. To make her think that I was at least trying to get rid of this, what she called, disease.
I'm not ashamed of who I am. Not anymore. My love for Christian has surpassed any hatred of myself. He has shown me that what we are is pure. It's good, It's right. And anyway, how could love be wrong? Especially ours. But I can't be with him. I have hurt him beyond repair, he no longer wants me, and he no longer needs me.
I sat in the Masala Queen office. Allen was sitting nearer to me than I felt appropriate but what could I do? Allen was very 'hands on' which was odd for someone of his job description but I just assumed he was that type of person. It made me uncomfortable but I needed his help, for mum's sake not mine. I needed her to love me again.
"That's good, I'm really proud of you Syed"
He offers me a hug. I'm hesitant but he pulls me in tight. His hands wrap around my back and lay uncomfortably on my belt. After a moment I try to pull away but he is to strong.
"Syed, are you in here?"
I hear my dad yell down the stairs and let out a quiet sigh of relief as Allen releases me.
"Hi dad, you okay?"
"Yeah, sorry to interrupt your session, I've just come to pick up some paper work, do you know where your mum left it?"
"Uh in the drawer I think"
He wanders over and locates the papers and makes his way to the exit.
"Thanks, I'll see you at home later for dinner then?"
"Yeah, see you later dad"
Allen shuts the door behind my father.
He's gone. We are left alone.
"Syed there is just one more thing I would like to try, if you don't mind, just to see if you are fully cured?"
"Of course, what is it?"
"Well it's more of a physical test, than an emotional one"
I can feel the confused look spread across my face. He can't seriously mean what I think, can he? But this is his job, he knows what he's doing, he has done this before with loads of other patients.
"Uh okay, what do I have to do?"
"'Nothing, you just sit there and tell me how you are feeling"
"I feel fine"
He laughs. I'm confused.
"We haven't started yet. Now when I place my hand here…" He moves his hand onto mine. "How do you feel now?"
"Still fine"
"What about here?"
He places his hand to the top of my thigh and I start to feel uncomfortable.
"Does this arouse you Syed"
"No" I'm not lying, how could I? Christian is the only person that can awaken my body.
Allen seems frustrated and he moves his hand higher, cupping me.
This is wrong, so wrong, but I can't move. He will think he has affected me and that I'm not cured. I can't do that to mum, to my family so I just sit there.
"Anything?"
"No" The word gets caught in my throat. I can't do this. I attempt to move away but he pins me to the desk. I'm trapped. What is he doing, why is he doing this. He hates what I am. Is this my punishment? Is he going to hurt me, even though I have proved I'm cured.
And then he does something unexpected. His hand moves to my belt, and undoes the buckle.
He's Gay.
I struggle underneath him, attempting to free myself.
"Allen, Stop, get off me, it's okay I'm cured now"
"Syed, you're still sick, but don't worry I am going to help you"
"GET OFF!"
"Keep still, you will only make this worse"
He pulls my jeans off and throws them to the floor. I take my chance and run for the door, but it's locked. He's locked it. I feel a blow to the back on my head and I collapse onto the cold floor.
I wake soon after to find that I'm sitting in the corner of the room with my arms tied behind my back. I can see the rest of my clothes in a pile on the other side of the room and I attempt to cover myself up. He is stood there staring at me. I feel a shudder run down my spine. I'm scared.
"Why are you doing this?"
"You need to be punished, what you are, it's disgusting"
He moves closer to me and engulfs my mouth with his. I wriggle and squirm, trying to get free but it's useless. A tear falls down my cheek and then another.
"Hey Sy, it's okay"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"
"Why not, Sy? Does it turn you on?"
"Shut up, LET ME GO"
This angers him and he drags me to my feet and throws me down onto the table. I feel blood trickle from my head as it collides with the corner of the wood.
He lowers himself down on top of me and more tears fill my eyes and stream down to my chin.
"Christian" I say in a quiet whimper, hoping he will save me.
Christian's POV
I miss him, I miss him so much, but what can I do. He has made it clear that he needs to put his family above me. He doesn't want me, he doesn't need me. He needs them. I don't even get to see him though. We could at least be friends. Talk, hang out. I need him in my life, even if he doesn't need me.
I walk into the café to order my breakfast.
"Morning Sis, full English please. You okay?"
"Not really, I'm rushed off my feet, Ian's gone off on some business meeting so I'm left with this place to run by myself and I'm supposed to drop these menus off at the Unit"
"Need a hand?"
"Thanks Christian, Can you drop the menus off for me? Sorry, I know you don't want to go over there. I'd let you work here but I'm waiting for the gas man."
"Nah it's okay, I wanted to talk to Sy anyway"
"Christian" She gives me a concerned look. "Don't do anything stupid"
"Don't worry, I just want to chat"
"Thanks Christian, I'll have your breakfast ready when you get back"
I smile gratefully and head for the unit.
What will I say when I see him? Will Zainab be there? I open the door to the unit and make my way down the stairs. I'm shocked at what I see through the office window. It can't be, he wouldn't. Not at the unit. Syed is lying underneath another man on the office desk. Naked. My heart rips in two and I turn in a hurry to leave the unit when I hear sobs. I take another look.
"Christian"
He's crying. Syed's crying. He doesn't want this. What is he doing to Syed, my Syed. I see his face for the first time. It's Allen. I rush to the door and turn the handle. It's locked. I start hammering at the door and Syed turns his head. Our eyes meet and his eyes are filled with tears. Tears stream down my face as I continue to kick and punch the door.
"GET OFF HIM, STOP, LEAVE HIM ALONE, GET OFF!"
I put all my weight into the final push and the door swings open. I run forward and drag him off Syed. I punch him with all the anger and hatred I can muster and he falls to the floor.
I turn to Syed who is curled up into himself, hugging his knees. He looks so vulnerable.
"Sy"
He flinches at his name.
The tears continue to flow. I want to help him but I don't know how. I grab his clothes from the floor and start to dress him. I don't want to make things more uncomfortable for him. I just want to pull him into a hug and protect him.
He burst into tears and launches himself at me, searching for security. I pull him close and rock him in my arms.
"Christian"
"You're safe now, I'll look after you, I promise"