Summary: As a young Mandalorian slave fights in gladiatorial games, he falls into despair and loses all hope of ever escaping his fate. After four years, he falls in love with another slave and they expect a child. After learning that his lover is pregnant, he feels a strange connection with the unborn child that he cannot explain. Suddenly he's unsure whether he was meant to die on Sleheyron, or if he would live long enough to watch his daughter grow up.
There will be some recurring characters, but I'm limiting how many are to become primary to the story. Other game characters may turn up along the course of the story, but it will primarily be the Exile and Visas Marr that this story follows. This takes place 5 years after the events of TSL and will have the semblance of a KOTOR III plot line.
Author's note: This first chapter just skims the line between T and M rating. On its own, it would be rated M, but it's the only one in this fiction. Be warned that this first chapter has some sexual content. This new fiction strongly resembles another I've started, but have since abandoned. I'm keeping the overall plot the same, but have intensely revised it to include more elaborate battle scenes, more vivid descriptions, and more original characters.
Reviews are greatly appreciated in the first few chapters. I actively request reviews, as I wish to modify this story for the best. Thank-you in advance to those who take the time to write reviews.
Weakness of the Flesh
The Hutts control everything on Sleheyron, and a slave is nothing to them. I was determined not to be 'nothing.'
~Yuthura Ban
It was an unfortunate certitude, but slaves were not people in the eyes of the Hutts. Accepting one's role within the society and fulfilling his or her duties to the best of their ability was inherent to all who addressed their superior as 'Master.' That was exactly as they were trained to do, and it was exactly what was expected of them. Those who obeyed their masters typically lived the longest and deserved the highest of praise. Of those who prove less than satisfactory to their masters... their future was uncertain at best.
When a good servant is the victim of an accident, a master may recognize an honest mistake and be satisfied with an apology. Having been forgiven, a servant would then resume her duties, a little more careful the next time. Maybe a less considerate master would issue a few demerits, believing that a mistake didn't deserve praise. If such an accident were as simple as dropping a tray, with the consequence of destroying an expensive pallet of food for a guest... maybe physical punishment would be warranted.
As Tashi, a middle-aged slave, prepared herself for her master's return, a pattern of scars laced across her bare back. They formed an intricate relief-map of old pain and suffering. Although she had endured many shock lashes, carved into her flesh by several past masters, only one trailed just over her right collar bone. The only mark visible to her eyes, the rest were concentrated where they wouldn't mar her aesthetics.
Latching a decorative collar around her neck, Tashi paused for a moment and tried to remember that one scar. Believing it was her own fault that it trailed across her shoulder, Tashi remembered flinching right before it connected with her flesh. Yet it troubled her as to why she had been punished in such a way.
Her old master ordered she receive shock lashes... that much she knew. But it was done at the demand of one of his guests... if it weren't for the guest, she simply would have received a few demerits. Her master even apologized afterwards... he said that she didn't deserve such punishment for spilling a guest's beverage in his lap. It was done simply to maintain face on behalf of the guest. She felt such sadness, staring at the scar. It was as though he appreciated her feelings, so long as it didn't get in the way of her duty.
The scar did remind her of the reason she decided to dress up for the evening. It was the reason that she chose the most uncomfortable garb in her closet. Adjusting the garment to support her fuller breast size, she whispered. "If this will help you smile, then it's worth it to me."
Unfortunately, good behavior didn't always allow a servant would live to a ripe, old age... if that wasn't what his master wished of him. When one is taken into captivity, he eventually had to accept that his life had been stolen forever. To be sold was to know there was no escape... except through death. Slavers at least had reason to keep their slaves in good condition, but Hutts often were quite sadistic when it came to mistreating their property. That was a lesson a slave named Genda was unfortunate enough to learn.
As he prepared himself for what was ahead, he took a moment to examine his venerable fiber-amour vest before slipping it over his abdomen. There had been so many battle scars left upon the black vest that it seemed to become more patch work than of the original material. Almost as impressive was the extent of the repairs over the years; every mark on the vest were wounds not inflicted upon his flesh. He had considered replacing the old vest, but felt a certain attachment to it.
His thoughts were interrupted by the shouting of orders. "Put it on! You're up in five minutes!"
Despite his every wish to stall what was ahead, Genda knew that he was going to be sent in five minutes... with or without armour. He quickly slipped it over his head and wriggled his torso within the confined space until it was firmly against his shoulders. Adjusting it at the sides until it was snugly embracing his abdomen, Genda flexed his arms to ensure it didn't restrict his movement. Then whispered to himself, "If it's my time to die, it's my time. If I must give you my life, I'll give you hell before I do."
A slave's origins often had very little significance to a master. Whether it was a boy who was born in captivity, or a young woman who was taken from another life and placed in chains. Young slaves were easier to train, but slavers tended to favor taking more mature lives by force. Most taken into captivity had already developed the basic skills and could immediately be put to work. After they've been broken, such slaves can be just as devoted to their masters as ones who were born into the trade.
Tashi had always been a slave, even before she left the sanctuary of her mother's womb. Her fate was to be no different. From birth, she had never known freedom. Never been taught that it was wrong to be treated as property. And she never understood why Genda wouldn't make his wishes known to her. He had needs to be served, yet he never commanded her to do anything.
She believed he was merely being considerate at first, but eventually came to realize that Genda simply wouldn't ask anything of her that he wouldn't expect of himself. And as months passed, she watched as he fell into despair. It got so bad that she felt it was up to her to keep his spirit high. If it was her duty to keep him happy, then she wasn't doing a good job.
As Tashi adjusted the veils around her waist, she certainly didn't expect her butt to have gotten so full... it was quite tight. She twisted herself around in front of a mirror and found her abdomen to be in good shape. There was always a short period when a lady was at her best... followed by a prolonged period when she was at her worst.
The final component was a veil that attached to her brassiere and extended to her ankles. Of course, the only reason for that veil was to make an otherwise-indecent outfit somewhat presentable. Hands on her hips, with the slit of the veil pulled back just enough to reveal her bare abdomen, she smiled with anticipation. "I thought you might like an improvement in the scenery, Master Genda." Practicing with her words, Tashi turned around and tossed her hair back. "I wore it for you, Master Genda." She exhaled as the brassiere became increasingly uncomfortable. While adjusting it, she wondered if she should have waited for later to put it on. "You said this was your favorite." Her breasts were very sensitive and metal wasn't very inviting against flesh. She took it and very gently shifted it around to give her body more clearance. Looking in the mirror again, Tashi got frustrated with how badly she fit into the outfit since... "Yeah, no one in their right mind would ever want to wear this." she muttered.
The life of a slave was a trivial thing to some. A good slave could easily demand a handsome price, which often was less than what a ransom would amount to. To some of the more prominent Hutts, who had more credits than they could ever spend, money was no obstacle. Sometimes a Hutt's only interest was to be amused, which often came from playing very sick games with other people's lives.
Although a slave meant nothing to the Hutts, some gained considerable recognition for their deeds. Genda was one such slave who had become quite popular in only the last five years as a gladiator. Five years was the longest any such as him ever lived after being condemned to die in the arena. And Genda was he who held that record. It was he who was determined to live beyond anyone else.
Even having survived over 200 separate battles, Genda was never free of the terror that filled his soul before every confrontation with fate. Fighting for his life while 100,000 spectators watched filled him with tremendous dread and anxiety. Even before stepping onto the battlefield, collecting the weapons came with its own set of horrors. He had no idea what kind of threats awaited him in the arena, yet he had to select what weapons were best suited for the broadest range of enemies. For hand to hand combat, he selected a tower shield and vibrosword.
Occasionally, he had been accompanied by other slaves... all thrown into the arena against their will for the sole purpose of killing, or being killed themselves. Genda found himself fighting alone much more frequently, as he become ever more popular with the crowd. The more popular a gladiator, the more dangerous the competition would be. The more staggering the victory, the more the crowd loved him. And that was something he wanted to be rid of.
Genda hated the deafening cheers that erupted each time he entered the arena. All he wanted was to be somewhere else... anywhere but there. But when the cage at the opposite end of the arena let loose his enemy, all that mattered to him was survival.
Some slaves grew to love their masters. Some were trained to believe their only purpose in life was to serve and that only their masters could care for them. They may not have been so grateful for their existence, but they weren't about ready to throw all that away if they didn't show the proper devotion that their master deserved. Whether it was through brainwashing or genuine affection, a slave was supposed to believe that their master came first.
Tashi typically didn't check the results of the games via the network, but had been more anxious to know how Genda fared that day. Although it was not her intent, she logged on to the computer and came across a live broadcast of the event. The camera fixed on him, it gave her something of a minor relief to see him alive and well.
Her relief soon turned to horror, as a kell dragon came into view. Its sheer size and fearsome physiology was so immense that she gasped and drew back. "Oh my God!" As she watched the creature advance on Genda, she backed into the wall. Grasping her heart with her right hand, she panted to the point of hyperventilation. Tashi was absolutely convinced that Genda was going to die before her eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to shut down the console. Suddenly the dragon lunged at Genda and pounced as he retreated.
After landing on Genda, and after hearing a terrible howl, Tashi squeezed her eyes tightly and descended to her knees. Desperate to shut it out, she clenched her ears. Despite closing off her senses, the poor woman couldn't forget what she just saw. "Oh god! Please...!" She wailed in agony and curled into a ball, struggling to breathe. Tashi quivered in fear, absolutely terrified and unable to lift her head. She was desperate not to see it ripping his body apart. Yet the horrifying images raced through her mind, no matter how hard she tried to shut them out.
Although Genda had never faced-off with a kell dragon, he had studied a variety of predators that he believed might one day be used in the arena. A massive creature with jaws large enough to swallow a Jawa whole... was one such predator that he knew a few things about. He wasn't a Jawa, but any kind of injury involving those teeth would probably have been fatal.
Armed only with a vibrosword and a tower shield, Genda retreated. He did so, not out of fear, but as to encourage the creature to charge. From what he understood, that particular predator had to pounce upon its prey if it attempted to escape those vicious jaws. Unfortunately that was exactly what Genda needed the beast to do.
While sprinting in the opposite direction, he strapped the shield onto his back and held the vibrosword backhanded. Twisting his head over his shoulder, the kell dragon pursued at a remarkable charging speed. Each meter it closed in on him made it that much more difficult for him. If that dragon didn't throw itself at him, his plan would fail and he would die.
After hearing it growl, he turned around and saw it lunge at him from almost five meters back. Genda dropped to his knees and planted himself where he expected the dragon to land. With his back to the creature, and with the vibrosword locked against his shield, Genda hoped for the beast to impale itself on the blade as it moved helplessly through the air.
He braced for the impact, which he feared might kill him. Even if the dragon hadn't landed on top of him, its sheer weight impacting him at 20 km/hour could end up breaking his back. He placed one knee on the ground and positioned his opposite leg in front, as to dampen the impact as much as possible. When the dragon hit his shield, the blow had been much harder than he expected. The shield gave him some protection, but only so long as his body could endure the crushing force coming down on him.
As the Kell Dragon landed upon the sword, Genda kept the blade firmly in position as the beast impaled itself. Its own momentum carried the dragon across the top of the shield, compounding the injury as the creature slid forward and hit the ground. From the rib cage back, it had very nearly been spilt in half.
Although Genda had been protected by the tower shield, he was thrown forward in the process. A surge of blood gushed from the underside of the creature, yet very little actually landed on him. Although it was not his intent, the shield had kept the blood from drenching his neck. Because it was not properly strapped to his back, the mistake actually saved his life. It wasn't until he pulled himself from under the shield that he realized what would have happened, had his neck been trapped between it and the ground.
After the dragon slid across the top of the shield, Genda raised his head and found the creature wailing in agony. The wound he had inflicted was obviously fatal, given the amount of blood that gushed onto the ground. When it landed flat on its belly, Genda believed it was trying to return to its feet, but soon realized it was merely writhing in agony. He had lost his sword, which had embedded itself in the flesh, otherwise he would have taken that opportunity to end the dragon's misery. Instead, he simply watched as it died from the injury.
There came a moment of utter silence from the audience, as they couldn't tell what exactly happened after the creature landed on Genda. When they saw him stand, and with the creature wailing in agony, the silence quickly escalated to deafening applause. As the dragon laid there, dying, Genda turned about, convinced that it had been mortally wounded. The audience's cheers soon turned to a mix of disappointment and heckling. They were quite unhappy that he didn't deliver a killing blow. Something about watching a creature writhing in agony, dying slowly, didn't appeal to them.
When Tashi finally built up the courage to look at the monitor, she slowly lifted herself from the floor and grasped the console to pull herself up. As her eyes fell upon the video feed, the camera was fixed on Genda, who was already heading towards the arena entrance. She had virtually no idea what had just happened; but as the video feed cut to a replay, she saw what had happened.
After hearing to the commentator's words, and after watching the creature impale itself upon Genda's sword, Tashi realized that he wasn't killed as she had feared. Upon releasing the longest sigh of relief in her life, Tashi unlatched herself from the console and allowed her body to pour back onto the floor. Eyes closed and with her back against the wall, she dug the heels of her palms against her eyes; but it couldn't hold back the tears.
Panting, the poor woman had gone from one emotional extreme to the other in only a matter of seconds. Although Tashi felt so much better than only a moment ago, the whole experience was deeply traumatic for her. Until then, she hadn't the vaguest idea what kind of monsters Genda went up against when he fought in the arena. She'd assumed it was gladiator against gladiator, but watching him confront a kell dragon left her with a greater respect for the dangers he faced each week.
A part of her felt guilty for not having done everything she could to make him more comfortable while he was out of the arena, but she also felt more intimidated by him. She had always known he could kill her at any moment, but never had she guessed that he could kill a monster in such a manner. Trembling, she clutched her arms around her knees convulsively.
It wasn't long before the smell of something burning reminded her of the meal she was preparing for them... the one of which she was supposed to be tending to. Suddenly she remembered her duties and immediately snapped back to it.
The first time he heard his name chanted by tens of thousands in the arena, Genda grinned proudly at how much they loved him. The second was only slightly less exciting than the first, as was the third and fourth time through. Eventually there came a point when he grew to hate the sound of his name. With so many people praising him, it just added that much pressure for him to deliver. If no one knew of his existence... maybe he wouldn't have to fight in the games anymore. If he didn't have to fight in the games anymore, he might have been content just to live as a standard servant. Anything, so long as he didn't have to fight for his life every week.
After being escorted out of the arena, Genda stripped off his armour and went directly to a shower stall. Standing under a stream of water, the sensation completely contrasted the grit and grime of the arena. He just closed his eyes and tried to imagine he was somewhere else.
His master's proxy, Uva Mosk, showed little concern for his privacy, but Genda was used to it. "Ten seconds! That's all you were able to give them was ten seconds?"
Genda closed his eyes and put his head directly under the flow of hot water, trying to drown out the noise. "If you want to complain, speak to the Kell Dragon. It was the one that impaled itself upon my sword."
Uva Mosk turned off the water, but remained just outside the stall. "All you ever do is kill, kill, kill. They don't want a butcher, they want someone to entertain them. You don't do that by killing everything that comes out of that gate as quickly as possible. They want..."
Genda grabbed Mosk by the collar and pulled him right in his face. "I don't give a damn what they want! I don't fight to entertain! If Fassa has a problem with it, he's just going to have to get used to it." He threw back the twi'lek and turned the water back on.
Uva Mosk directed his attention somewhere other than at Genda, fearing that the young gladiator probably would kill him if provoked. "Well I'm responsible for you and if you don't do as you're told... I'm the one who'll pay the price. I didn't want to be put in this position, but master Fassa said that if you just continue doing what you've been doing... killing without entertaining your audience... people will lose interest. If that happens, then you would no longer be of any use to Master Faso. And then do you think he would let you keep those luxurious quarters, the lavish food... the girl?"
Genda stared forward for a moment as he realized how much worse his life could have been. He glanced at Mosk as if to silently acknowledge the message and nodded.
Uva Mosk picked up his armour so that it could be cleaned off as well, but he felt that Genda needed another reminder. "Your master has been most generous to you. He gave her to you as a reward for your dedication to the games. But remember that you both belong to him. He can just as easily take her away."
Genda just stared forward as Uva Mosk departed. As he stood under the shower, as if to wash away the blood of his past victims, Genda couldn't help feeling that his body would forever be stained with the blood of hundreds who were just like him. All who were thrown into the arena were slaves unwillingly forced to fight for survival. He frequently told himself that it was either him or them. If not him, then it would have been his blood on someone else's hands.
Unfortunately it wasn't just survival that he had to worry about, but in pealing to the crowds. Despite his desire to live, he couldn't afford the thought of loosing what little he had to live for. Tashi made all the difference to him.
After being escorted to his private quarters, which were provided by his master, Genda thought back to the way things were only about a year ago. Gladiators normally were locked in cages or cells, as they were not expected to stay for more than a few weeks. The average life expectancy was less than a month, but some of the more valuable servants were given special treatment. The quarters Genda had been provided were much more than a slave deserved; but considering what he generated in the arena, it was a good investment on the part of his master.
His master also allowed him to choose a personal slave months earlier, as to ease the stress from life outside the arena. Tashi was the most beautiful woman Genda had ever seen and he wanted her for himself. Despite being over a decade older than him, she had accepted him as her new master and was completely loyal.
Tashi at first served as little other than a constant companion; but over the months, Genda came to depend more on her years of wisdom. The two came to develop an odd relationship. Despite being his servant, Tashi wasn't totally obedient to Genda's commands. She didn't believe it was insubordination, but rather to serve her master's best interests... given as he lacked life experience. As Genda matured over the months, he grew to respect Tashi much more as a teacher/advisor/confidant than if she followed his every command.
When Genda returned to their quarters, he wanted nothing other than to collapse onto the bed, as he was exhausted from battle. Even after four years, each fight was just as stressful and tiring as the one before... he never grew comfortable with fighting for his life every week. Since achieving the unofficial title of 'best gladiator on Sleheyron,' life had become much more difficult after each fight.
Before reaching the bedroom, he felt her arms wrap around his shoulders from behind. He smiled and took one of those beautiful hands to his lips. Just her very touch seemed to alleviate all that made him miserable. What struck him as odd was the way in which she greeted him. From her breathing, Tashi sounded alright. "I'm so glad you're back. I thought I'd lost you."
Genda found that odd, as she hadn't expressed such concern in the past. "Um... thanks. I'm glad to know that at least one person cares."
As her arms came to be around his neck, Tashi put her head upon his shoulder. "I thought that... thing... it scared me to death when I saw it charging at you. God... how do you face such things without being afraid?"
Suddenly it made sense to him why she was clinging to him. "You saw me?"
Tashi made a noise which meant yes. "I just wanted to see that you were alright. I thought it was over by that time."
"Yeah... they never keep on the posted schedule. They could easily have us waiting for an hour after the time we're supposed to fight." Genda reached behind his head and held onto Tashi. When he felt the gold collar from the top piece of her outfit, Genda had trouble figuring out what it was around her neck. When he turned his head to see Tashi smiling at the corner of his eye, she giggled and stepped back so he could have a look at her.
Tashi's grin grew sharper as his eyes lit up. She wore the gold bikini he liked so much... the outfit that she hated so much. No words were spoken, as they weren't needed
After a moment of staring, his eyes shifted from her breasts to her face. Then he gestured to the outfit. "What's this?"
She curtseyed to him. "For you, Master Genda. I thought it would cheer you up."
He smiled glibly and folded his arms across his chest. "But you hate it."
She shrugged her shoulders. "If it makes you happy, then it's worth it to me."
He sighed nervously. "Tashi, may I ask you a question?"
She grinned. "Of course, sir."
He sighed again and paused for a moment before building the courage to ask. "Do you find it... difficult to do your duty?"
She gave him a confused look and then thought very intensely about the question. Not quite in complete honesty, she confidently replied. "For you, never."
"Are you telling me the truth, or are you just telling me what I want to hear?" He asked.
She looked deep into his eyes, as if there were a puzzle of which to unwrap, and then gave a more literal answer. "Sometimes, we do what we want to. The rest of the time..." She looked down at herself, accepting how much she hated that bikini. Then she looked back into his eye, remembering why she put it on. "...we do what we have to."
He didn't buy it. "You're not answering my question." He gestured to the outfit. "Did you... want to put this on? Did you... want to do everything I've commanded of you since our first meeting?"
She did not want to answer the question factually. Not everything he'd done in the first month was to her liking. But there was something she wanted to say. "You didn't command me to wear this. Surely that means something."
He shook his head. "Is there not one thing I've demanded of you that you wouldn't have done, had I not asked it?"
Tashi glanced down at the same bikini she wore when she was first given to Genda, half a year ago. It reminded her much of her last master, who used her as a pleasure slave. That was another reason she hated it. Although Genda gave her the option to wear other garb, she knew that he secretly would have wanted her to wear that horrid thing all the time. The only reason he didn't demand it of her was because he knew how much she hated it. That made her wonder whether putting on the outfit was done of her own accord, or merely an extension of her normal duties to him.
Did she simply do her duty in order to please her master, or did she genuinely wear it of her own free will? The thought made her uneasy. Then she thought of all slaves and their obligations to their masters. "Sir, neither of us have control of our lives. You answer to your own master. I answer to you."
He sighed and leaned his head back, still not satisfied with that answer.
She scoffed and gestured playful confusion. "Sir, what do you want me to say? If you have something you want of me, just ask. You need not worry about hurting my feelings."
"Well I do. You are just as important as..."
Tashi interrupted him. "As far as I'm concerned, if you don't climb into bed and drag with with you... the only one who'll be in agony is you."
The weight of the kell dragon landing on top of him put much strain on his back; Genda twisted himself around and held onto his lower spine. "My back..."
She scowled at such a glib response to a serious subject. "That's all you have to say?"
He clutched his side and hunched over in pain. After years of learning to conceal pain from others, it became almost instinctual. Only when he was safely away from the public's gaze could he allow himself to give in. "Give me a break. I just started off my evening on a date with a kell dragon."
Suddenly she remembered her place and went to help him to the bed. Offering herself to him, Genda extended his arm upon Tashi's shoulders and accepted her for a crutch. "How bad is it? Do you need medical attention?"
He shook his head, briefly before Tashi lowered him to the bed. The gladiator took such great relief in the simple act of sitting down, yet he groaned as if in agony. As Tashi stood right in front of him, he took a moment to appreciate the sight of her lower abdomen.
She noticed the way his pupils dilated and his heart rate accelerated, so she just stood in front so he could get a clear view of her. There was another reason that she decided to wear something so... revealing. It complimented her breasts, butt, and abdomen, which were features she no longer wanted to hide from him.
With Genda's eyes level with her navel, he took an interest in the rigid gold plate at her waist. As he extended his hand to rub where that plate met with her skin, she giggled at what peaked his interests. The contrast between metal and skin rather fascinated his senses, which was one of the reasons he liked her outfit. As his fingers traced along the lower edge, where the plate bonded to her silk skirt, Tashi removed the veil which draped down from the brassier. As it poured onto the floor, he looked up to see Tashi's serious expression... this was the act of a servant doing what her master desired. Then he withdrew his hand from her waist.
"Remove your shirt." She ordered, suddenly.
Genda didn't quite understand.
Rather than repeat herself, Tashi leaned forward and undid the robe which covered his torso. "You're so difficult to serve. You never just... simply tell me what you want. When you always leave me guessing..." After she had removed his undershirt, she pushed him onto his back, deliberately mishandling him. "...you're always going to be disappointed." Despite his groans, Tashi flipped him onto his chest. "Where does it hurt?" Before he could even answer, she had already started rubbing his back.
Genda twisted his head over his shoulder and smiled at her. Just as she went over the right place, he groaned in pain. "Yeah. Right there."
She chortled, maybe out of a sense of pride. "There. Now doesn't it feel better when you simply make your wishes known?"
After releasing another painful groan, he chuckled. "I don't know. You may just have a healing touch."
Scoffing, Tashi just went on with rubbing his back. "No, I just happen to know more about this kind of thing than you do. Learning about the anatomy of the human body is something I never thought I would use when I was your age, but here I am. Here I am, diagnosing that you have a knot of muscles here."
One of the issues that Tashi had with Genda came from how little he valued education. He had some schooling from before the time he was captured and enslaved, but Tashi had offered to tutor him and continue from where he left off. Although Genda didn't see the value in it, she was determined to show him why it mattered.
He didn't seem to notice her unspoken message. "That's what you're here for. You're the smart one, remember?"
She sighed in disappointment; and maybe out of frustration. "Do you know why I worked so hard to train myself when I was young? I didn't want to end up as a pleasure slave, so I developed my mind instead."
Genda slowly sat himself up, careful not to hurt himself, and gestured her to sit herself down on the bed. "But you still had no control over what is demanded of you. I remember some of the horror stories you've told me about your last master."
Tashi nodded, acceptingly. "Master Axmis was... an exception. I'll admit that. But aside from her, I've had three very considerate masters. They appreciated my skills and gave me the best treatment that a servant could want."
"Right. Like if I tried harder when I was in school, they might have seen past my Mandalorian qualities and figured I'd make a good droid technician?" Genda answered sarcastically. He then sighed and looked down. "Maybe for anyone else, such skills would have proven worthwhile; not for me. Even if I were as bright as you, they still would've made me a gladiator all the same. I was doomed from the moment I was sold to Fassa."
Tashi didn't like hearing Genda speak of death like it had already taken him. "We're all destined to die." Taking his hand within hers, she nestled it to express her affection. "Sadly, we cannot choose when we meet our end. But what happens in the end isn't as important as the way we lived."
Although Genda felt some comfort from her words, they didn't exactly address his sense of injustice over his life as a slave. He did feel that Tashi had more to say, so he maintained his silence.
"I had often wondered why it was so difficult for people like you to adjust to what I'd known my whole life, but I think I understand much better what... freedom must have been like for you. The way I was taught... it was to respect those we call our master. To treat them as if they were supreme beings. That's what Master Axmis was like to me... even as she tormented me, I understood that she was my owner and that I owed her my obedience... because she provided for me. If I did not do as she commanded..."
"What are you trying to tell me?" Genda asked, anxiously.
It took Tashi a moment to form her words in a non-offensive way. She didn't wish to commit insubordination, but she felt it was important to speak of what she thought of him. "You're not like that at all, are you? You're my master... I'm yours to do with as you will. And yet you treat me with as much respect as you would give to yourself. Is that what it means to be... free?"
It had been a long time since Genda thought about his old life. Ever since being taken by slavers, he had no choice but to bury his feelings and accept the way things were. Now that Tashi brought it up, his heart ached for what he lost. "That's exactly what it's like. No one has the right to own another's life." He gestured to Tashi's outfit. "When you first told me what you wanted... more comfortable clothes, your own bed, access to the network... didn't it feel better when you could request such things?"
Tashi smiled, quickly approaching tears. "I felt like I mattered. You made me feel like..."
Genda smiled and twisted his torso to the right so he could embrace her. Despite the strain from his injury, he extend himself so he could hold her properly. "Yes, Tashi. That's what it was like to be free." As his eyes got diverted to her breasts, he sighed and released her. "Now I know how much you hate that bikini, so why don't you just get rid of it? Just wear whatever you want."
Tashi held her hands together and hesitated to speak her mind. After standing, she looked into the next room. Maybe she just didn't feel she had the courage to face him directly. She had something to tell him, but wished to say it at the end of a special evening. "Genda, I had a very special evening planned for you tonight. I'm afraid that I've ruined the dinner I had prepared for you; I'm sorry. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to try and make something out of what we had left, or if you wanted to try and convince your master to have something delivered."
Genda smiled and chuckled at the second option. "Well I assume that Master Fassa isn't too happy with me, so I wouldn't count on that."
Tashi, still with her back to him, reluctantly nodded. "I'll see what I can do with what we have. I'm sure that I can make synthesized protein and textured carbohydrates taste like real food. Just... give me ten minutes and I... we'll..." As Tashi's thought process broke down, along with her words, she found it increasingly difficult to tell him what the evening was all about.
He got himself up from the bed and came up from behind, placing his chin upon her shoulder. "It's alright. I really wasn't that hungry anyway." As his hand trailed over her torso, he whispered into her ear. "What do you say we just skip dinner?"
She took his hand and cuddled it between her fingers and placed it over her exposed abdomen. "Genda, there's something that I've been keeping from you. I didn't know how to tell you this, but it's been almost three months." Tashi turned around and looked down at herself, rubbing his hand against her belly. When she had the courage to say it, Tashi turned around and looked into his eyes to tell him the truth. "I'm... I'm pregnant."
Genda stared at her in shock. Maybe his reaction was to be expected from a young man in his place, but it wasn't that so much as hearing how long Tashi had been with child. As he recalled, she did seem ill from time to time; but had just assumed it was normal for women to get sick once in a while. Given as he had very little experience with women since his capture, he really had no way of knowing the symptoms up to that point. He did notice the physiological changes which occurred during her first trimester, but didn't really understand why it happened. She certainly didn't look it.
She had taken his hand and placed it over her abdomen, which had only just begun to curve away from her body. "You have a son or a daughter. He's growing inside me."
As he stared at her belly, Genda felt as though he had stepped into a different reality. For most of his life as a slave, all he had was himself to worry about. Suddenly he found himself with a loved one and now a child. A child... his child. Never before had he considered it, but actually feeling Tashi's belly and knowing what she carried within... that was when he knew it was real.
Slowly Genda withdrew his hand and stepped back until he found the bed again. "Oh my god." he whispered. "Why... why didn't you tell me?"
Tashi gestured for him to turn around so that they could both sit down and speak face to face on the bed. Tashi crossed her legs and sat very close to him, maybe to make that moment more intimate for them. It was quite strange for her, considering how much younger he was; she didn't exactly know how to explain it to him. "I didn't know if I wanted to have a child with you. It was not long after you became my master that this happened. I thought you just wanted me for... other purposes. The truth is that I didn't know what was in store for our future, so I waited for as long as I could before... it began to show. I knew that a decision had to be made, but I wished to wait for as long as possible before..."
"What decision?" he asked.
She looked down upon herself with great sadness, maybe with some degree of shame. He was the father and her master, but she felt that he wasn't ready to hear the news until he was older. "If you want me to terminate my pregnancy... it is your right." Then she looked up and took his hands within hers. "Otherwise, I would like to have this child... your child. He would be your legacy... a part of you that would live on, long after you've died. You've given me something special over these last few months, and I wish I could give you something in return... I could give you this."
Genda suddenly found himself thinking of his imminent death in the arena. He had never considered until that point what would happen to his beloved Tashi if he had been killed. He had just assumed once he was dead, whatever happened after that didn't matter. As terrible the prospect of death sounded, it had always seemed a means of escape... unfortunately it carried less appeal as he found more reason to live.
Suddenly he found himself with someone he loved. Someone who would be heartbroken to see him killed. Tashi was more than just a servant to him; she had become the only thing that made him smile anymore. She was the only one who made him feel like he was still a person; and not someone's property to just throw away at will. The thought of having a child with her did provide him some measure of peace, but it affected him more deeply than he had expected. If becoming a father was all he had left to live for, then Tashi's pregnancy may have been a blessing.
As Genda stared at Tashi, she extended herself and took one of his hands to place it on her belly. She seemed so happy at that moment, which was what made it difficult for Genda to take comfort along with her. He wished that he could embrace all the joy in that moment and forget everything outside the room.
As he tried to imagine the face of their child, or rather who she would become in the future, something very unusual happened to him that he couldn't quite explain. All his other senses seemed to fade away, leaving only the presence of their child as she would be... it was a girl. She resembled Tashi, probably as she would have been at that age... maybe ten years old and with blonde hair. It shined as radiantly as her mother's. But he saw another person, someone much older with her back to him.
As the little one tried to get her attention, Tashi turned around and kneeled to pick up the child. She looked almost 10 years older... beautiful for her advanced age. They were indeed mother and daughter... and after taking a brief moment to appreciate the girl in her arms, Tashi's eyes were drawn to his. She smiled radiantly and spoke... her words didn't seem to echo in his ears.
As his senses began to return to him, Genda saw Tashi's face and garb slowly revert back to reality. As the child faded and Tashi's robe reverted to the gold bikini, he found distinguishing dream from reality to be difficult. Everything seemed backwards for the briefest of moments, but only for a moment. It wasn't just a wet dream he awoke to... she was very real.
As an opening formed in the clouds of volcanic smoke and ash which normally obscured the sun's radiant energy, light poured through the window and illuminated her in a way that he believed had to be a dream. Tashi's red hair, loosely suspended down to her bare shoulders, seemed so pure and perfect down to every last strand. The majority of it draped over her right shoulder, while the rest flowed into her cleavage like water tracing across a landscape of flesh. Her arms rested upon her thighs, one hand holding onto the bracelet clutching her opposite wrist. The flesh on her biceps pressed against the ridged gold bra embracing her breasts, apparently uncomfortable. Resting on her knees, Tashi's posture formed a crease across her midriff. The rigid lower piece of her outfit was wedged between her legs and belly. Trailing from the gold plate was a silk loincloth that blanketed most of her left leg. Only a single bare foot extended beyond what the cloth could cover.
She was the most beautiful thing in the galaxy to him. That attractive, scantily-clad woman across the bed belonged to him. And for a moment, nothing else seemed to matter. He extended his hand and rubbed her exposed foot. His touch made her giggle and smile with great joy. He forced out a chuckle. "I certainly hope she looks like her mother."
She grinned and rubbed her belly again. "I'm quite sure I've got a son for you. And he'll be every bit as handsome as his father."
He grinned and then let his head rest against the wall. "God. It feels like a lifetime ago... it's only been five years. I never would've believed I'd end up here..." He looked into Tashi's eyes. "I feel as though I have so much, and yet... I don't want to die. I just would have wanted a chance to see our daughter before that happens."
Tashi thought to mention that she'd been a slave all her life, but felt that she didn't have the right to compare herself to him. She knew that her life was never at risk, let alone put into danger constantly like Genda. She knew he was stronger than he seemed, but was just constantly in fear for his life. She didn't know what it was like to live in that kind of fear. So long as she did what was required, Tashi felt that she had little to be afraid of. Genda had no such option because it was kill or be killed.
She also knew just how stressful it must have been for him, so she got on her knees in front of the young Mandalorian. "You may yet. In the meantime, you have a duty to tear off all my clothes."
"Please. This is not the best time to..."
She kissed him. "It is always a time like this. There never is an after. Things don't miraculously change and get better, and the universe never stops to accommodate us. All any of us has is now, so unless you're an utter fool you should use it how you can."
"You have a future..."
"Don't say that word again. Neither of us can worry about tomorrow. Do you know why?" She whispered into his ear. "What we do here and now makes no difference tomorrow. People like us don't have a later... all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." She took his hand and put it on her belly. "This child I carry... he likely will never know his father. When he's born, he will be taken and sold. Neither of us will see him grow up." She embraced Genda. "There will be a day when you don't come back to me. When you're gone, I'll be sold to another, less considerate master. Do you think I'm ignorant to all that?"
He shook his head.
"Do you think I look forward to that future?"
He stared at her, silently saying no.
"Then how do you think I get by? How do you think I can get by without losing my sanity?"
He scoffed and laid flat on the bed. "If things like that don't bother you, then you really must be out of your mind."
She exhaled in disgust and rolled off the bed to leave. "If you're going to be childish about this, then I won't..."
"No, I didn't mean it that way." He stretched out to grab her, but the sudden and sharp pain in his backside brought him to the floor .
As Genda groaned in pain, Tashi thought to just leave him where he was; maybe just to give him a moment to think about what she just told him. But the sound of his pain almost instinctively brought her back. Wrapping his arm around her neck, she helped him back to the bed. "I guess you're right. I must be mad to be tending to you... that I keep trying to help you when you just keep pushing me away."
With Tashi rubbing his backside again, he breathed a minor sigh of relief. As soon as he was able to speak, he twisted his head over his shoulder and took a gentle hold of her wrist. "Well if I weren't your master, I'm sure the last place you'd want to be is here."
She paused for a moment, her thoughts drifting away from his back and onto more serious concerns. The sickness of the body could be cured, but the sickness to the mind was much harder to remedy. When she broke the silence, Tashi sat on the bed next to him. "Whether I want this or not, here is where I am. This is where you are. Neither of us can change that. It may not have been to our liking, but I made the best of what I was given." When their fingers intertwined, Genda slowly raised himself back up to a sitting position. "I know that you lost something very important to you, but I really wish that you wouldn't dwell on it the rest of your life. Is it really so bad here? Isn't there anything about this place that...?" As she trailed off into unspoken thoughts, Tashi soon found herself entangled within his arm. It was the most meaningful answer he could give.
Genda moved his head until it was centimeters from hers. Tashi's head fixed forward, he rubbed his face against the hair which flowed down and over her shoulders. Using his nose to draw away the fine, red strands from over her ear, Genda whispered. "Actually there are two things I wouldn't trade away for anything." Gesturing for Tashi to slide over his knee and between his legs, she sat with her back directly against his chest. With his arms around her, the first thing wasn't difficult to figure out. "One is right in front of me. She also happens to be the most beautiful thing in the galaxy."
As his hands trailed over her ribs, she lifted her arms and lifted away her hair so he could undo the strap at the back of her neck. "And the second I suppose is what I'm wearing?"
He chuckled. "That, too." As she felt his hands descend to her lower abdomen, he placed his chin on her shoulder. "But the second thing I was talking about... is here." As his palms soon rested upon her belly did Tashi's delicate fingers embrace his more rugged hands. "Thank-you for this. I think I can honestly say I wouldn't rather be anywhere else. I wouldn't rather be with anyone else. If I should die tomorrow..."
Forcing a very passionate kiss upon him, Tashi whispered into his ear. "None of that. You've still got me... and I've got you. There is no tomorrow. There is only here and now." She then maneuvered herself in front of him and pushed Genda onto his back.
As she climbed on top of him, he seemed more concerned for her than himself. "You know that this is a mistake? I'm not long for this world."
"I'd rather cry for you after you're dead. In the meantime..." She unstrapped the bikini top from around her ribs and went for the latch at the collar.
He held the top where it was. "Wait. If you're pregnant, should we be doing this?"
She brushed his hand away and allowed the top to fall away, revealing her breasts. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I hate this bikini and want it off. You want me, but are too afraid to ask. If you're going to die soon, then you might as well make the most of the time which is given to you."
Genda would have pulled himself away, had he not already been pinned down. "Please... stop this!"
She moved her head right next to his ear. "Just let yourself go. Fassa gave me to you in order to keep you happy. Since you don't know what you want, I'll do this again and again until you learn to relax."
"Alright, now I know you're insane."
Tashi looked at him, almost on the verge of crying. She didn't like seeing Genda so miserable from day to day. Living with him for a year was hard because he acted as though he were already dead. She was desperate to see him smile, or at least stop worrying about his impending death. "Yes, I'm insane. Just shut up and enjoy this."
He seemed quite intimidated by Tashi's strange advances all of a sudden. Although she never objected when he asked it of her, Genda seemed more afraid of her advances than of the Kell dragon. "Please!"
She whispered into his ear. "All the times you asked me to spread my legs... if you want to get rid of me, you'll need to call the guards. There is nothing other than us. Just trust me."
Genda had been mortified at the way Tashi threw herself at him. In that moment, he felt he had a better understanding of what it must have been like for a pleasure slave. When she asked him to trust her, it wasn't quite an implicit trust. Despite his reservations, Genda took the opposite role and followed through as she had with him when she got pregnant. He reached around her waist and unfastened the bottom piece of her outfit... soon everything else was swept away.