Author's Note: Hiya, there! Well, this is one of the two first fics I've posted here. I tried to be dramatic. Emphasis on 'tried'. Please pardon the grammatical errors or any kind of errors you might see. I'm currently looking for a beta, so pm me, if you're interested. :)) This is rated T because of language. Believe me, I don't actually curse so I don't really know why I put cusses here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters of Fairy Tail that you might read in this story.
Quick Note:
Italics – thoughts and flashbacks
Normal – present time
A Pink Sunset
She could all blame it on the rain if it were falling. But then, it wasn't and actually it was a perfect weather if she was to ask about it – there's still the sun shining but she doesn't feel the heat at all. Maybe it's because of the time of the day – almost sunset – or maybe it was because of the feeling inside her. So the fat tears that are rolling down her cold cheeks could all be blamed to the scene that had been running inside her head for hours since the real event happened.
Lucy Heartfilia swore she was not the sappy and the cry-baby type. No, she is a strong and cheerful girl. She can force her tears to stop anytime because she chose to evade any emotions that might cause her to spill out those precious pearls from her eyes ever since he – dramatically speaking – walked out of her life. Right, now she was starting to talk like an impulsive and dramatic teenager who experienced heartbreak for the first time. Well, frankly speaking, it was her first heartbreak, yes, but she's not a teenager anymore. She's already twenty years old, turning twenty one two months from now, for Mavis' sake. She needs to mature and grow up.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, she let out a soft chuckle as she imagined seeing herself in other's eyes. One could see a blonde girl in her checkered oversized pink and black blouse under an unzipped white sweater, paired with a pair of dark tight jeans, a couple of wristbands on her left wrist and a pair of pink and grey high cut shoes, looking all badass and stuff, sitting on a sea wall and crying while watching the approaching sunset. Not a picture-perfect scene and she knew it, and mentally adding that she's not a picture-perfect face in the first place, so there's no way she would be one like those she had often seen in romantic movies where everything seems to be beautiful even with the girl crying her heart out in front of the setting sun.
And for the first time that day, she replayed the scene in her head where it all started where she decidedly thought that it was a moment of weakness and naivety in her part. It all was…
"I like Lucy."
Lucy whipped her blonde head towards the pink-haired boy who said it and her eyes never leaving on the said boy. Impossible! Natsu? The Natsu Dragneel likes her?
She was in Laki's eighteenth birthday party, playing a game of truth and dare to spend the rest of the night with her rowdy classmates. The bottle stopped spinning in front of her newly-acquired 'best friend' and of course, the clichéd question is asked: 'In this room, who do you like the most?' The said best friend answered it and she almost – almost – dropped her jaw upon hearing this, thinking that he was too oblivious and child-like to ever think of such a little mature things. Besides, if ever Natsu has an inkling of the like-like feeling, Lucy would bet it would be the silver-haired girl in their class that goes by the name of Lisanna. Lucy had once caught him blushing a soft shade of pink when Lisanna flashed her cute and gentle smile to Natsu. So, it was not a surprise that Lucy was surprised when he blurted his answer to the question. However, knowing him better, she shook her head, thinking that since this is Natsu, the only things in his mind are the three F's: food, fun and friendly-like.
"Woah, woah, that's quite a confession!" Gray Fullbuster roared out beside Lucy. Now he is the supposedly best friend of the blonde until he became missing in action ever since he joined The Ice Sculpture Club just last month. He turned to the blonde, "Maybe that's the reason why you two are always together these past few weeks, huh?" Then he feigned hurt, "I miss being your best friend, you know."
"Shut up, Gray," Lucy hissed and glared at him. Again, because of Gray's open-quote busyness close-quote in his club, Lucy was always left alone even during their week-long School Festival. Luckily for her, Natsu's just as alone as she was, so with a little chat (since they don't really talk in class if you don't count the times that they work together in Chemistry Lab as group mates) they both agreed to watch a movie in one of the school's booths named Jay's Movie World. The movie itself was not scary (since they watched horror) and it would really boring if not for the exaggerated screams and shrieks the other audiences produce. Natsu and Lucy both laughed their asses off throughout the movie just because they thought the reactions are hilarious and hell, they are even funnier than the comedy movie that followed next. That's what started their so-called friendship.
The blonde looked at Natsu's direction and was again shocked that he was blushing – oh hell, the oblivious and the most dense boy in class (as what they considered since everybody guessed that Lisanna likes the guy but it's either he doesn't care or he doesn't know, but the class agreed it's the latter anyway) is fucking blushing! Think, Lucy, think! Maybe he really meant what he said..? But that's soooo un-Natsu. But then again, how much does she know him, anyway?
It was the blue-haired Levy McGarden that voiced out Lucy's thoughts as if they were in the same line of thought. Well, actually, sometimes, Lucy really believes that they are since they both love books and stuff. "As in like-like, Natsu? Not the friendly-like one?"
To Lucy's horror, the pink-haired boy nodded slowly and is really red in the face. Crap, he really is serious. Everyone hooted and there are loud cheers that Lucy felt like blushing herself. Well, she doesn't hate the guy but she only thinks of him as a friend, no more no less. Besides, the guy is not that bad-looking, he's quite cute actually with that boyish and contagious grin on his goofy face that Lucy likes. Wait.. she likes? The hell!
"Spin again! Spin again!"
And the freaking damned bottle just had to stop at her. This is probably the right time when someone could mutter, 'When shit happens, it doesn't give a shit'.
"So, Lucy, in this room—"
I knew it, I knew it!, Lucy thought to herself.
"—who do you like the most?"
Crap. Lucy would have said 'Gray' which is the entire truth but she just can't tell it out straight away. They're almost best of friends and she's too afraid that relationship might change and all that crap about friends and romance so she opted for what she thought was the safest answer that time.
"Natsu."
But what she didn't know was just answering the truth would have been a lot much better.
Lucy chuckled again after recalling the event that started it all. She swayed her dangling feet and looked at them, her head bent down, and her golden hair covering her face. That would be good to cover her disgustingly tear-stained face right now. She remembered that after that time, there was no awkwardness between her and Natsu unlike what she had expected. It was a little relieving that at least Natsu is easy to be with and there are no malicious intents that she could feel whenever they're together. On the contrary, as she felt Natsu's presence getting stronger, Gray's presence on the other hand becomes weaker. He was always busy and if he is in class, he would be asleep and there's no time to talk with him anymore. Lucy finds this a bit annoying that she almost wanted to tell him about it. However, thinking that she's not the pushy type, she just let it be and just focused on projects and stuff since the school got so demanding.
As days turn to weeks and weeks turn to months, Lucy felt really close and at ease with Natsu that she forgot that he has a crush on her which would make her act a little awkward if her classmates tease her about it. Natsu would seem to be a little awkward, too, but then a moment after, he would crack a joke, and the awkwardness would just disappear like a bubble. During those times, Gray would seldom talk to everyone in the class, even to Lucy, as he is out managing his club and if ever he is present, he would tease Lucy and Natsu about being already comfortable enough with each other that would end up with Lucy getting annoyed and wouldn't talk to him.
It was after their Chemistry Lab Exam that one day Lucy noticed something off with Natsu. He seems to be distracted and a little gloomy compared to the days when he is really really hyper that she had to chuck her bag at his head just to knock him out as it's the only way to make him stop jumping around. Three of her group mates (including the busy-as-bee Gray, damn him, and she'd helped him with his experiment, too!) had already zoomed off the laboratory as soon as they're finished without even bothering to help with cleaning the mess on their sink. They are the only ones left since the other groups have finished cleaning already. She had complained to this and Natsu just grinned at her which was pretty normal for him. When she noticed the grin faded suddenly when he thought she was not looking at him anymore, she took her chance.
"Natsu?"
His head jerked up with a practiced grin on his face, "Yes?"
She paused for five seconds trying to phrase the right question before continuing, "Is there something wrong?"
"No, nothing," came up a fast answer.
Lucy felt a little disappointed because of the thought that maybe he doesn't trust her enough for him to open up to her. She watched him grin again at her before turning back to his job of washing the used test tubes. Still feeling a little bad about it, Lucy murmured an 'okay' and stacked the washed clean test tubes inside the cabinet. She turned around and headed to the drawers to look for a rug or anything that could wipe the sink clean thinking of finishing the job as soon as possible. The silence is a little bit awkward which is unusual for them, and she also felt a thick air of tension but she dismissed it as soon as it came in her head arguing to herself that it was just probably her thinking. She was busy looking for the cursed rug when she heard someone said.
"Actually, I'm not okay."
Lucy stopped, with her back towards him. It was so sudden and the voice seemed to be laced with loneliness that she thought it was from an alien and not from Natsu. The boy is usually cheerful so, had she believed in supernatural things like alien, ghost and stuff, she would really be convinced that it was not Natsu who said it.
"I knew it. I probably shouldn't have bothered you at all. Just.. just don't mind it," Natsu muttered and by how Lucy heard it, he resumed washing the test tubes.
Lucy whirled around to face him, the quest for the rug completely forgotten. "What is it?"
"Nah, just.. something unimportant. There are already a lot of problems in the world without me going off about how my life sucks just now."
This made Lucy irritated. "Spill it out, Dragneel. Spill it out now or I'll spill your guts out in about three seconds."
"Gee, Lucy.."
"Three.."
"H-Hey –"
"TWO!"
"Okay, fine! Igneel left me!"
That stopped Lucy. "What?"
"Igneel.. he.. just left me. Just this morning," Natsu said softly and Lucy swore she saw him tremble. "I found his clothes and things gone. He just left me with his bank account which has a lot, mind you," he added then he chuckled. "That old man was saying the truth after all. He's indeed worth a million bucks."
Lucy just watched him laugh humorlessly as she approached his side. She could tell that he would break any moment so she prepared herself for anything that would happen. She felt tears starting to sting her eyes but no, she just can't cry in front of him. Not when it seems like he was asking for her strength. Not that he really said it aloud but she just knew that's what he needed: Strength from others.
"I'm really fucking rich now, Lucy. Do you want to eat out after this? My treat!" He grinned towards him but the grin didn't quite obviously reach his onyx eyes. When he saw that she was looking at him worriedly, he broke the façade and reached out to her, wrapping his arms around her small frame. Lucy accepted it and encircled her own arms around his waist to at least support him. She felt his hot breath on her neck as warm drops of liquid fell on her neck and shoulders.
"Why haven't you told me earlier, Natsu?" she asked even though she knew the answer. She felt his grip on her tighten that she suddenly felt deprived of oxygen and his sobbing against her neck was not also helping. He didn't respond and just continued on holding her tight as if his life depended on her. For what Lucy seemed like eternity, he just sobbed against her and she let it be while running soft circles around his back as if to tell him she's there and to just let it all out.
"I'm afraid, Lucy," he suddenly said. She was surprised because his lips seemed to be almost touching her neck when he spoke and at his sudden response and at the same time that she felt a shiver run down her spine. "I'm afraid to be alone," he continued and his voice is muffled because of his lips almost pressing against the sensitive part of her neck.
Different emotions wash over her – some familiar, some alien. Maybe it was because of his proximity to her or his sudden and unusual display of weakness that made her feel as if her legs had turned to jelly and her heart had torn up in two. It suddenly felt all mushy to her and normally, she would have to berate herself for feeling so, but this time, she felt quite the opposite. She felt like congratulating herself for being the person that Natsu chose to open up with and cheer herself on helping the poor guy. "I'm deeply insulted."
"Huh?"
"I know I won't exactly fill in the hole that your father had left but please don't ever think that you just had to face this on your own," she said. "I'm.. I'm always here, you know," she mumbled those last words, feeling embarrassed because it sounds too sappy for her yet she means it. She definitely mean it.
Lucy felt him move and loosened his grip on her that she was at first afraid that he somehow doesn't need her. Who is she anyway compared to his father? She's just merely a classmate and a friend. Maybe a crush, yeah, but that's all there is to it.
Lucy didn't exactly know how it happened. All she remembered was when Natsu pulled away to look deep in her caramel eyes, she felt a sudden jolt of weird electricity somewhere in her stomach and chest and before she knew it, he was bending down towards her face. The sudden jolt she felt earlier was nothing compared to the jolt she felt when his lips pressed against hers that she felt as if she had lost all her consciousness. However, she struggled to remain conscious because, dammit, this is the best feeling she ever had in her nineteen years in earth, and she would never ever dare to miss this just because she had foolishly fainted. After a few milliseconds, she responded by kissing him back, all rationality dumped in the trash bin along with the broken test tubes that her classmates had used. This is her first time being engaged in a kiss so she doesn't know how the hell she got the idea of reaching out and running her hands on his soft pink locks as if pulling him more towards her. Lucy let out a soft 'oh' when he wrapped his arms around his waist in a possessive hug and deepened the kiss in a hungry one. She never knew this side of Natsu and she didn't regret that she had because even if she would scream right now, no one, even herself, would believe that she doesn't like what's happening.
As their lips moved in synch, Lucy could feel Natsu's emotions within him were very deep and extreme. It was like he was pouring his heart out with his kiss and it was all just for her and for her alone. He's kissing her full on the lips as if it was his way of saying, 'I need you, Lucy'.
Their intense make out would have lead to other things if not for the janitor who made his presence known unconsciously when the mop that he was carrying dropped on the floor. It was then that Lucy and Natsu almost immediately pulled away from each other as if electrocuted and looked towards the source of the noise.
"What are you doing here?" The janitor asked suspiciously after picking up the fallen mop.
"We were cleaning the sink," Lucy said her face red all over and gestured to the test tubes that are still waiting to be cleaned.
"It's my duty so you don't have to worry about it," the janitor replied, still looking at them warily.
"Okay," they both said and grabbed their bags, leaving the odd-looking janitor and the mess on the sink.
"Kids," he bitterly muttered as the two scrambled out for the door.
More tears start to run down her cheeks as she remembered the feeling of his lips against hers and suddenly pathetically wished that it happened again. But unfortunately for her, it never did and after that incident, she felt horrible towards herself, feeling cheap for almost giving in to the weak side of her. But then, that was the time she realized that she was past friendly towards him anymore. She realized that she loves him already which was a very great shit because hell, everything would be so complex. For the first time in her life, she prayed that she was wrong for thinking that the name 'Natsu' and the word 'love' occurs in one sentence. But then again, it was never answered because if it was, things would never be as complicated as this.
It was as if nothing happened the day after Lucy's first kiss and she argued herself the whole day if it was a good or bad thing. She decided that it was a good thing because at least, Natsu seems back to his normal and cheerful self again. Lucy knew she sucks at acting in theatrical performance but when the situation calls the need for her to act, she could. So, it was either Natsu really doesn't care at all, or she was just a damn good actress, that they continued being all friendly with each other even with or without their classmates' presence. And Lucy didn't mind it at first, and started forcing herself to believe that everything would just be going smooth and easy and everything would just be forgotten since it was just a moment of weakness in both their parts. Lucy is always there for Natsu, still, since there's still no news about his father's whereabouts.
A year passed and Lucy remembered where had all the days gone that she didn't notice that they are just one year away from graduation. During that time, she and Natsu seemed to have this unspoken agreement of waiting for each other until they graduated. Or so Lucy thinks. She was already convinced that her feelings for him had gotten stronger and it was deeper than friendship. Lucy knew she's not the hopeless romantic type of girl and she actually hates things that make other girls believe in love that could sweep off of their feet. But during those times that she and Natsu are together, she seemed to finally understand what leads a girl to be pathetically romantic and sappy and all that crap of being in love. They are 'friends' but everybody knew and so the both of them are, that they have something with each other. That if Natsu seemed to be unusually cranky and hot-headed, it is because Lucy is linked to other boys other than Natsu, and everybody knows that.
Lucy sighed, noticing that the sun is already starting to set and any moment from now, she really had to start walking herself home. But, no, she has to finish remembering all those moments she long kept inside her memory and her heart before she throw them all away on the ocean in front of her. Second to the last event was just two months ago, exactly after a month after the opening of classes started, when Gray approached and talked to her.
"Hey."
Lucy glanced up from her book to see Gray smiling down at her. "Can I sit over here?"
"Of course, that seat is vacant, anyway," Lucy said and turned back to her book as he slipped on the seat beside her, feeling his eyes never leaving her face. She wondered what he was doing inside the library because as what he once stupidly said, "The great Gray Fullbuster is not the one who always spends his time in a library since it doesn't make a great man like me look great."
"I was just asking permission because well, some pink-haired idiot might punch the hell out of me just because I'm sitting on this seat," Gray chuckled, still looking at her face. He probably doesn't mind that they are starting to create a noise because they were far off at the back where their seemed-to-be-always-on-period librarian is out of earshot.
"Nah, you can sit there all you want," she muttered.
"Speaking, I haven't seen him with you anymore. Is something the matter?" Gray asked.
Lucy expected that comment but she still flinched the moment it escaped his lips that she had to read over the words 'And then the street was empty again, seemed to have gone mute with the slam of the car door' again and again but the words just seemed senseless to her. When silence reigned between them, she decided to speak, "It's not like there's some rule that Natsu Dragneel would always be found right beside Lucy Heartfilia, right? So why does everybody think that I'm responsible for his ass if he's not around?"
It was since the start of Christmas break that Lucy noticed Natsu starting to wander away from her to joke around with Lisanna and everybody else. It kinda irked Lucy but then, she thought she had no claims or whatsoever to him, so she just let him be. And when Valentine's Day passed, she heard the next day from very reliable sources that go by the name of Levy and Erza that they have seen Natsu and Lisanna entered a fancy restaurant and anybody with a right and sane mind could tell that the two are out on a date. However, still a damn good actress, Lucy lied that she already knew what's going on and that's what actually she pushes him to do. She didn't know why she did it, maybe because she doesn't want to lose face that it was Lisanna who was out on a date with Natsu and not her, the assumed partner of the dolt. She cried a gallon that night.
"Woah, chill, Lucy," Gray defended himself and continued on studying her face.
Lucy sighed exasperatedly for suddenly just bursting it out to Gray who did nothing but ask her an innocent question. "I'm sorry," she mumbled and felt her cheeks heat suddenly. She snapped the book shut and grinned at Gray. "I'm just being irrational."
"You don't have to keep it all in, Lucy," he suddenly said that made Lucy think that it was not an innocent question at all. Damn Gray.
"What are you talking about?" she smiled but she knew that Gray knew that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.
"How come Natsu's with Lisanna already? Did he cheated on you?"
Lucy let out a humorless chuckle, "C'mon, Gray, it's not like me and Natsu are a couple, right?" she asked and turned to him, still with that damned smile on her damned face. She saw the slight shock on Gray's face when he saw her and she scoffed at him, "What's with the face, Gray? I can hand you a mirror right now to let you see what you exactly look like!"
"You don't have a mirror with you, Lucy. Unless you changed these two years since we last talked like this," he suggested and still continued on studying her face.
The hell, Gray just knows her. "Heh, I haven't changed, Gray. And whose fault do you think that it was two years ago since we last talked?"
"Natsu's?"
"Idiot."
It was his turn to chuckle as she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. I was busy with the club."
"And now you're not?"
"Of course, it's our last year in college so I was given the privilege of skipping club meetings and activities and all. Thanks to my excuse we know as Thesis," he grinned.
"You're evil, you know that?"
"I know," he simply shrugged. "But hey, I'm serious. How are you really today?"
"You do know that it's my privacy you're asking, Gray, right?" Lucy said and Gray, once again, shrugged. She sighed. "Fine. I'm not.. okay. Okay? Dammit, Gray, I don't want to be all sappy and stuff!" Lucy cursed as she felt tears starting to cloud her eyes.
She felt arms encircling her and another round of fresh tears started to pour out non-stop. "Gee, Lucy, I didn't know you are in this horrible state already," Gray said against her head.
"Shut up. Don't make it sound like it's a third-stage cancer or something," she sniffed.
He chortled again and Lucy realized she missed Gray after all. But she missed Natsu more. The idiot. "Lucy, I'm sorry."
"You should be," she joked and lightly punched him on the chest after letting go of his embrace. She wiped away her tears and hoped that no one had seen her crying ugly face. "C'mon, let's eat like the old times," she said and almost flinched again, with a sting on her chest but she covered it up with a silly grin, "but this time, it's your treat."
"Crafty, still," Gray muttered but grinned back, nonetheless. "C'mon, let's hit Pete's Pizza Parlor."
"Right! And I have to eat whatever I want!"
Gray shook his head. "Really really crafty."
Gray and her talked about what had happened that day and Lucy remembered how Gray just looked at her and told her she'd just forget all of these one day, that she'd get over it and be happy for Natsu and Lisanna. He even blamed her for being so passive and waited for the dolt to make his move on her knowing that Natsu is kinda slow when it comes to romance and that probably he's too afraid and intimidated by her. But, no, Lucy recalled shaking her head at him and completely disagreeing that if he really wanted her, he would have pursued and waited for her, intimidated or not. He would have to take the risk. Besides, she knew that he knew she wouldn't reject him completely without even considering because, well, if he didn't remember about their make out two years ago, then he's really damned.
After that talk, Lucy remembered feeling so worry-free after talking to Gray what she really felt. Though they hadn't talked that much after that, at least Lucy was thankful for him for being his sounding board as she cried again and let her heart out for being such a naïve and stupid girl. She seemed to become so cheerful in class and she even talked casually with Natsu and Lisanna and then danced her way towards Levy and Erza with a cheerful face. She noticed the relieved face of Lisanna and Natsu and didn't mind it at first, until she got home and processed what had happened the entire day.
Poor Lucy had finally accepted that she and Natsu are already done. Oh wait, Natsu is not Lucy's, right? Right, so she doesn't own him and he had the right to be wherever he wants to be. Wow, good thing Lucy had this lucid mind of taking things very smoothly so we don't have to worry about her losing her sane mind. That's a relief then. Relief..
Bitter tears started rolling down her cheeks again for the umpteenth time and Lucy swore she never expected her tears to be bottomless. She thought her tears had already run dry what with the fact that she had cried and cried her heart out for a year already. Wow, human body really is amazing, isn't it?
Sucking a large amount of air, she closed her eyes and replayed the very vivid and last memory of all because it just happened moments ago. They were having a Recollection because of their being last year in college and the theme was 'Reconciliation'. Great, just what Lucy needed.
"In your hands right now are two white and yellow flowers," the recollection coordinator told them as she roamed around the room with both her hands on the back. The whole class is encircling a large candle which is the only source of light to create a dramatic effect. Lucy however, thought this is all just a waste of time since, well, does the coordinator really expected everybody in this room to just forget every shortcomings just because they're in their last year. She doesn't think so.
"Yellow petals represent joy and appreciation while white petals represent forgiveness," the coordinator's voice rang inside the room, it seemed creepy enough to Lucy who thought that everything seemed to be cut from a horror movie where people in an occult do exactly like this: people encircling a candle, a bonfire or whatever source of light there could be as they chant weird enchantments that might cause the planet from turning the opposite direction or whatever spooky thing you could think of. "You are to give a yellow petal to someone in this room whom you want to share your joy with and show and appreciate what he or she had done for you in the past. You are to give a white petal to someone in this room whom you want to ask for forgiveness because of something you had unintentionally or intentionally done to him or her." A short pause. Then she continued, "You can do it now."
And with that, Lucy could barely see what with all the figures that are moving about. She smiled when she realized that a lot of them are giving her yellow petals (and she gave them yellow ones, too) and some white muttering something like, "I'm sorry for anything that I'd done to you though I assure you it's all entirely unintentional." Lucy would say the same words and grin at her classmates.
Juvia, Mirajane, Levy, Erza, and Cana ran their way to her, hugging her tight and giving her a handful of yellow and white petals, tears streaming their eyes though Erza was as stiff as ever, but Lucy knew her stiffness is due to the fact that she really meant it. Erza's just an awkward girl when it comes to sappy moments such as this, just like her.
To her surprise and relief, Lisanna shyly tugged her blouse and gave her two yellow petals and three white ones. "I hope we could still be friends, Lucy," she said a little awkwardly but Lucy felt the sincerity of her words.
Lucy flashed a very wide smile at her and reached out to hug her. "We are friends, Lisanna. There's nothing to worry about," she said. At that, Lisanna broke into soft sobs and Lucy felt her tears starting to resurface but she held it back.
"Thank you, Lucy, thank you," she whispered before letting go of her and gracefully moved away from her to meet her other friends.
Next, Gray came to her and gave her yellow petals and hugged her tightly, she thought her ribs would break.
"Hey, what about the white ones?" she demanded when he handed her a handful of yellow petals after that bone-crushing hug.
"Shut it, Lucy, I didn't do any horrible thing to you," Gray joked and Lucy grabbed a fistful of raven hair and yanked it down with just enough force to make Gray laugh heartily.
"Get away from me, Gray, before I kill you," she said grinning and handed him back yellow petals.
"Of course! There are still a lot of those poor girls waiting for the Great Gray to give them a warm hug and his precious yellow petals," he laughed.
"The Great GAY, you mean," she said and then she stuck her tongue at him before he disappeared in the middle of the chaos of giving away their precious petals.
Lucy was still having fun watching her classmates scramble in the dark, when she noticed a warm hand encircle her right arm. She looked up to see Natsu smiling at her. "Hey," he said.
"Hey, Natsu," she said almost too cheerfully.
Without saying another word, he handed her a yellow petal and said, "Thank you so much, Lucy. You had always been there for me, in good and worst times."
That's right, idiot. I almost thought that you had totally forgotten me, she thought but she chose to remain silent and let him continue what he's about to say. Her head was down and she was looking at the petal on her hand that he had given along with the other petals that the others had given to her.
Natsu then handed her a white petal. "And I'm sorry, Lucy."
That's it? That's all he could say? But eyes still focused on the petal he handed, her head didn't rise up to meet his eyes. She's afraid of what she might see – like hate for example, or regret of being involved with her, or worse, pity.
She felt him reach out to her and enclose her in an embrace. However, she just stood perfectly still, not uttering a single word. She didn't start speaking because there's nothing much to be said, really. It was a short hug and to Lucy, it was as if he was saying goodbye to her and it would be the very last time he would ever make contact to her.
Lucy couldn't remember much except that she had given him a yellow and white petal, too, but still she didn't say anything.
Thank you for making me feel great and loved even if it was just for a moment. And I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough for you, Natsu.
She had moved away from him silently and she never did look back. For a foolish moment, she expected him to reach out for her once again and lock her in a tight embrace just like in romantic movies, but when she's already a good distance away and still nothing happened, she bitterly chuckled at herself. It was a little surprising, however, that not a single tear ran down her face when, not long ago it was threatening to fall when the others are giving their heartfelt thank you's to her.
There. That completed the memory, she thought as she raised her arms to stretch. She sucked a large amount of air and breathed it out all at once. She looked back at the setting sun, and again, tears started rolling down her cheeks.
Damn, I thought I'm already dehydrated of tears, she cussed as she wiped the uncontrollable tears. She was so good in fighting back the tears during their recollection, what happened now? Is it probably because she failed to cry in front of him? Had she made a wrong decision of just letting him slip away from her grasp? Should she had wrapped her arms around him without any intention of letting go and begged for him to stay? Should she had told him straight that she misses him terribly and that she's definitely at a loss as to what had made him slip away from her? Is she too proud of herself thinking that if he really want and love her, he should had not let go of her that time? She tried to rack her poor brain to think of things that had made him shy away from her but tried as she could, she couldn't think of any logical reason why. Maybe because the reason is illogical? Maybe he's just tired of her, that's why? Could it be as simple yet as horrifying as that?
Questions start to pour and so are her tears but the answers are evasive and so are Natsu's feelings. Even though tears might not exactly help her with her dilemma, at least it makes her a little better to think that it's the only thing that makes sense to her. She's crying because she's hurting. Damn freaking hurting.
Maybe, just maybe, she could finally gain answers to these questions if she just let time heal her. It might not be today and she would most probably be crying a lot, too, but at least, she's comforted of the thought that someday, she would be okay. She would be fine.
Still trembling, Lucy Heartfilia stood up from the seawall and made a promise to the setting sun. "I'm gonna be okay," she murmured before her memory ended with an image of a grinning pink-haired boy slowly disappearing from her view. "I promise."
Author's Note: Constructive criticisms and feedbacks are very much highly appreciated! I did this as less confusing as I can, so I hope this one-shot didn't confuse you. :))
-Blue