Rick laughed. "It's true. I make an awesome smorlette." He said as he watched Kate devour his cooking. She could tell he was surprised she actually liked it, but she didn't care. It was too good to care.

"I can't believe I've never eaten this before!" She mumbled through a full mouth and she tried to shove more in. He put a hand on her fork.

"Swallow first, cowgirl. It'll still be there when you're finished." She looked up to see a glint of teasing in his eye and forced down her laugh as she tried to swallow the glob of food in her mouth.

"Nooo." She mumbled, turning to her side.

She smiled gratefully as he handed her a coffee cup. Her hand warmed up as she felt his skin touch hers for the briefest of seconds, but she blamed it on the hot beverage in her hand.

She growled and threw the blanket over her head.

"Please, Kate." His bottom lip came out in that adorable way only he and kids under nine can do, and she sighed.

"Just this once." She mumbled. He was up and running before she finished. By the time she could find him he had already gathered three blankets, one she didn't know she had, and millions of cushions and pillows. He was just finishing off her couch when he looked up at her.

"Wanna help, detective?" She rolled her eyes, but went to kneel down next to him.

Kate moaned and threw the blanket to the floor.

He tossed the blanket onto the grass, which ended up tangling it up in itself. Growling, he jumped down to straighten it.

Kate laughed. "What did you expect? That it would organize itself?"

"I wanted to be graceful. Apparently, that is out of the question."

"Always has been. Why should it stop now?" He placed a hand over his chest and she laughed again.

"God damnit!" She yelled to the empty apartment and rolled herself out of bed. She couldn't shut off her brain. It just kept going when everything, and she meant everything, reminded her of him.

She went for her door.

"Castle, please." He turned around just to look into her eyes, as if memorizing her face, and then he turned the knob and slipped out. Kate fell to her knees and tried to hold back the torrent of tears that threatened to escape. 'He won't see me cry.'

"Gah!" She cried, flinging the door open and watching it bounce against the wall and slam back shut. She reigned in her control before opening it again, and then made a mad dash for her keys.

He snatched her keys away. She glared at him and stuck out her hand.

"Nope. I drive. I want this to be a real date, or like one." He grinned boyishly and slid the keys in his front pants pocket, daring her with his eyes.

She glanced at him and then leaned towards him. His eyebrows shot up as she pulled herself chest to chest with him and slid her hand into the pocket. He gasped and she pulled the keys out, dangling them in front of his eyes. She smiled. "Just this once." She whispered and pressed the keys into his hand.

Kate pulled her hand back from the keys as if they had bit her. She cradled her arm close to her chest and groaned. After standing there for a moment, she went to grab her coat.

She moved aside the wrapping paper and raised an eyebrow at the brown fabric underneath. Then she pulled it out and realized what it was, a grin split her face and she dropped it so she could lean over and give Castle a lingering kiss. "Thank you, so much."

She dropped the coat to the ground and ran out of her apartment, hurrying into the elevators. She slammed her forefinger on the L.

Rick clicked the L and they sat in comfortable silence on the way down, eyes flickering back and forth every few minutes.

Kate buried her head in her hands and started to dry sob. She was determined, but not determined enough not to break down. It was a crushing force; building up so high it struck her with surprise blows from under her feet and over her head. It was a heart breaking scene to watch and she thanked God she was alone that night when she stumbled out into the cold December night.

It was a dreary night. Innumerable news channels had warned its residents of the weather, but as usual, none had taken heed. This led to the disappointment of canceled appointments the next day, with mad dashes for over hangs or apartment buildings, even those unknown. The store clerks reveled in this weather, seeing their sale on umbrellas sky rocket. It was a time of mixed emotions and wandering. By Midnight, the only people occupying the lonely streets were a few stray pacific coast natives and drunks, staggering on their way to unforeseen places.

At first sight, Kate Beckett could be grouped into the latter. She could barely walk, swaying with each step, stumbling on every third, and falling or nearly falling on ever seventh. She was mumbling to herself and frantically wiping her face, although it would be soaked seconds later. And she made no attempt to get out of the rain. It was as if she was completely oblivious to it.

If you looked closely enough though, you'd see the separate tear streaks and the bags under her eyes. You'd hear the heart break in her voice, and the only smell you'd be able to detect would be cherries. Kate wasn't a drunk. She was a heartbroken woman on a mission. A mission she wouldn't stop for anyone, or anything.

She found her target pretty easily. After all, she knew the streets leading up to it by heart. It was a large and expensive looking building, lights making a halfhearted attempt to stay on. It looked forlorn, or maybe she was projecting. It was hard for her to tell in her state.

Without stopping to look, she stumbled into the street. Thankfully, there was a lull in traffic as she passed through, but it was close, and she suddenly had the thought that Castle would have had a fit.

Coincidently, his name is what she mumbling, over and over again until it became a blur and tangle of letters and sounds. It was her mantra for the evening, her goal to get to him, one she intended to keep. She would get to him. She would find him. She had to. Had to get him to see. If she couldn't-

She knew she wouldn't be very patient with the elevator, so she kicked off her heels and flew up the stairs, leaving the poor shoes to lie on their sides in the lobby, abandoned, as Kate had felt just a couple months ago.

It took her only a couple minutes to reach his floor. A combination of detective training and desperation helped her achieve this, yet still, she was huffing and puffing like an average person at the top step, sleeplessness not helping her in this situation.

Once she got her breath back, she advanced, sweeping her eyes along the corridor until she found his door, the lightest of smiles gracing her features. She was here, finally. When she went to knock, she stumbled into the door before she could stop herself. Shaking her head, she pulled herself up and straightened her back before reaching out to knock, even though she knew the thud by itself would draw attention to her anyways.

He answered in seconds. A smile was plastered to his face when he swung it open, but it faded as soon as he saw Kate, ragged, dripping, and looking almost sickly. He was shocked and didn't quite know what to do. "Kate?" He choked out as she swept past him.

He followed her movement and they stood staring at each other. Her body was raked with shivers and he stood stalk still, almost as if this was a dream he didn't want to disturb. His hands fought to reach out and hold her, but he held them back, eventually shoving them in his pockets. He couldn't upset her more. Not if he wanted this to go right.

She looked down at his hands, then looked back up at him and gave him a 'good boy' look complete with a smile. He made himself suck down more air.

When he finally spoke, it came out hesitant and wary. "What-Are you ok?" Her eyes clouded and he knew then he'd get no answer. She came here for something. What, he wouldn't know until she spoke. As luck would have it, she started to.

"Castle, just listen for a minute." He nodded mutely. "Today, I realized…that-"

"Hey, Rick. I finished up with the shower if you want to," Madison walked into the room, rapidly drying her hair and wrapped in a fluffy white robe, labeled none other than 'Castle' on the breast. She paused in her sentence when he eyes found Kate and she turned her eyes to Castle, questioningly, as she finished. "Use it now." The detective stood stunned, like a deer caught in the headlights, her eyes filtered with bewilderment, confusion, and hurt.

Suddenly, after a minute of tense silence, Kate bolted for the door. She still swayed, this time more out of hurt than sleeplessness. Castle went to grab her arm, saying, "Please Kate, let me-" but she pulled her arm back.

"No." She said her voice distant as she backed away. "No. No." She turned around sharply and rushed into the hallway. Castle glared back at Madison, who shrugged, before taking off after Kate.

Castle slid to the side of the hall, his eyes turning to the elevator. There he saw Kate, sitting on the ground, head in her hands. "Kate!" He yelled out and watched her look up at him just as the doors closed. "Shit." He said and raced to the stairs.

~VNMVNMVNMVNMVNM~

Outside the loft, Kate swayed into the street; she only thought to get away. She had to get away. She couldn't face him, face this. She had to, had to stop this hurt. Strangled sobs broke free from her throat and made her body shake as she tried to dodge the moving vehicles. She was a broken woman with no purpose, falling about at the seams, and there was no one to help her.

But Castle knew otherwise as he finally reached the bottom step of the stairs and raced outside after glimpsing her in the street. He rushed headlong into the traffic after her, ignoring the honks and screeches of annoyed drivers. He stumbled as he ran, his breath labored from the stairs.

He watched her sob and fall onto the sidewalk, pulling her arms to her chest. He didn't notice when a semi almost struck him. His eyes were only on Kate, his Kate, as she retreated into herself.

He fell to his knees beside her, hesitating before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back against his chest. She seemed to hardly notice, mumbling incoherently, until he whispered her name.

Her head rolled away from him. "Leave me alone." Her voice was broken, but firm. She even tried to pull away, but he held her fast.

"Never." He swallowed as she fell back against him, as if she had no strength left. He watched her roll her head back and catch his eye and he gasped at the defeat in her eyes.

"What do you want, Castle?"

He blurted out the words, stumbling over them as he spoke. "Madison's water bill was overdue. She just came over tonight to use my shower, and she was going to pay it tomorrow." Kate blinked. "I'm not back together with her. She disgusts me now. She a lying bitch and I know it's bad for me to say that about an ex-wife. But you've met her and you know-"

Kate reached up and put two fingers over his lips, silencing him. She searched his eyes for a while, trying to decide if to believe him. He watched her do so, thinking, God, I wanna kiss her.

The hint of a smile came on her face after a while and he smiled back. "Castle I can't." His face fell and she lifted up a finger. She took a breath. "I can't live without you. I've tried and it's like living without oxygen. It's impossible. I know you must hate me for what happened, but I hope you can at least be friends with m-"

It was his turn to interrupt her. He pulled her fingers down and ducked down to meet his lips with hers. Kate, shocked, stood stock still for a minute, then sunk into it, flipping around to straddle him. They ended up chest to chest, Castle flat on the ground. He chuckled, hands gripping her hips, and breathed heavily. "I'm never leaving you again. Never." Castle said as she said, "I'm never letting you go again. Never." They both smiled.