Title: Support Groups
Author: Harmony Marguerite
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I own a few of the women, but most of them belong to their respective creators and companies. I am not making any money off of this. It's not worth any money. Try to sue me. Do you know how much money a college student has?
Notes: Eh. I don't know. The things that come out of my brain scare me often. And quite rightly too. Ah well. I don't understand it, and I don't hold many hopes that you will. I hope that it makes you laugh though. Enjoy.
The brown haired woman stood up in front of the room of girls. "Hi." she said.
"Hi." The room answered back. The two men in the room mumbled.
"My name is Lois and I am the wife of Superman."
"Hi Lois." The room replied.
"I love my husband very much, and like the rest of you, I worry occasionally about him. Usually only when Lex Luthor and Kryptonite are around. I guess my problem with my husband, is that he never takes me with him when he goes out to save the world. He used to. We would be a great team, but he just leaves me at home."
"Lois?" A woman with black hair stood up. "Um, hi. I'm Sarah. I'm Batman's wife."
"When did Batman get married?" One of the men asked.
"It's in the next movie, they haven't made it yet."
"Oh."
"Anyways, I just wanted to say Lois, have you ever thought that he's leaving you at home to protect you? Batman does it to me all the time, even though he really doesn't have superpowers." Sarah blushed. "I actually almost didn't come to this meeting. I didn't think that my husband really had superpowers, like the rest of them."
A murmur went around the room, with the concurrence of the women that yes, Batman was still considered a Superhero.
Sarah smiled. "Anyways Lois, I know that its hard, but the rest of us know how you feel. We are all left at home to worry about our husband…" She looked at the men, who glared at her. "Er, spouse, and we hate it. But there really isn't much that we can do about it."
"Yeah." A redhead stood up. "I'm Mary Jane, Spiderman's wife. I know the feeling. Spidy won't even take me web-slinging anymore."
"Aren't you dead?" One woman asked.
"I came back…. Again."
"Oh. Man, I wish I had that elasticity." Another woman said. "Then I wouldn't have been written out of the series."
"Yeah, but being written out gives your husband something to fight for."
"That's true, but it still sucks. They won't even let me see him. Unless I'm a ghost."
"Bummer."
"Um, hello." Mary Jane waved her arms. "I was talking here." She looked a little miffed. "Right. As I was saying, Spidy won't even let me go web-slinging. He gets so worried
about me, even though he knows that Stan Lee just writes me back in. It's pointless, but as Superhero's, our husbands have a job to worry about us."
"Even if we can take care of ourselves." One of the men mumbled.
"Yeah, you took care of yourself real well, Steve. Crashing in the Amazon like you did. And the number of times you made Wonder Woman come and save you from the bad guys. You and your father are just alike."
"Shut up Marge. Like you're any better." Steve and Marge thus began a starring contest.
"That's enough you two." Said a nameless bystander. "We don't need the two of you trying to kill each other again. Let's go back to Lois."
"I'm done." Lois sat down, looking ashamed.
The nameless bystander, who is the one to always get killed by the bad guy, stood up behind the podium. "Well, this has been another successful meeting. I'm so proud of all of
you."
"Why?" Murmured Lois.
"Did anyone have any last thoughts on today's discussion?" The bystander asked.
"Yes." A woman stood. "I would just like to say that Flash is the best Superhero around."
Sarah stood. "He is not! Batman could whip Flash's butt any day of the week!"
"Flash would run circles around Batman. None of his little tinker toys would help him."
"Superman would beat both of your husbands, and grind them up for his pancakes the next morning." Lois cried.
"Then he would cry like a baby that he killed someone!" Mary Jane laughed.
"Why you!" Lois leaped over a row of seats, landing on Mary Jane.
Mary Jane screamed as she fell over backwards.
"A fight!" Screamed another woman, jumping on top. "This is for your comment about The Green Lantern, Mary Jane."
With a scream, other women began adding to the pile.
The two men jumped up, and ran to the sides of the room for safety. "Catfight." Steve whispered.
"She's not here." The other one answered. "Neither is her husband."
"It's a shame really that she went and married a zookeeper. I always thought that Catwoman and Batman were a cute couple."
The other man shrugged. They turned to the huge fight in the middle of the floor. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck a chair nearby. Startled, everyone looked to the door.
"You will stop this now." Storm said, eyes blank. "You are disturbing the support group for people with superpowers next door. We will not warn you again."
There were a bunch of mumbled apologies, the women all righted their chairs, and sat down. Storm left with another glare at them.
"Well, as I was saying," The bystander smiled with a handkerchief held up to her bloody nose. "I'm very proud of all of you for sharing your feelings. I know that it must be hard to be the wives and husbands of superheroes. We all do what we can. I hope to see all of you here next week, so long as your various companies don't cancel your strips."
"Don't even think about that!" Wailed a woman.
"She was canceled last year, it's still a delicate subject." Her friend explained.
"Well…" the bystander blushed. "I guess that's it. See you all next time."
"What! We didn't even get to me!" One woman screamed. She kicked over her chair. "That's not fair! All of you are so stupid!" She began to storm out of the room, muttering. "I don't even know why I come to these meetings, it's so stupid. Bunch of no good wusses, who can't even think for themselves when a bad guy looks 'em in the face."
"Who is she married to?" Steve asked the girl sitting next to him.
"Johnny, the Human Torch. They have similar tempers, so Susan thought they would be perfect together."
"I pity their children."
THE END.
Author: Harmony Marguerite
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I own a few of the women, but most of them belong to their respective creators and companies. I am not making any money off of this. It's not worth any money. Try to sue me. Do you know how much money a college student has?
Notes: Eh. I don't know. The things that come out of my brain scare me often. And quite rightly too. Ah well. I don't understand it, and I don't hold many hopes that you will. I hope that it makes you laugh though. Enjoy.
The brown haired woman stood up in front of the room of girls. "Hi." she said.
"Hi." The room answered back. The two men in the room mumbled.
"My name is Lois and I am the wife of Superman."
"Hi Lois." The room replied.
"I love my husband very much, and like the rest of you, I worry occasionally about him. Usually only when Lex Luthor and Kryptonite are around. I guess my problem with my husband, is that he never takes me with him when he goes out to save the world. He used to. We would be a great team, but he just leaves me at home."
"Lois?" A woman with black hair stood up. "Um, hi. I'm Sarah. I'm Batman's wife."
"When did Batman get married?" One of the men asked.
"It's in the next movie, they haven't made it yet."
"Oh."
"Anyways, I just wanted to say Lois, have you ever thought that he's leaving you at home to protect you? Batman does it to me all the time, even though he really doesn't have superpowers." Sarah blushed. "I actually almost didn't come to this meeting. I didn't think that my husband really had superpowers, like the rest of them."
A murmur went around the room, with the concurrence of the women that yes, Batman was still considered a Superhero.
Sarah smiled. "Anyways Lois, I know that its hard, but the rest of us know how you feel. We are all left at home to worry about our husband…" She looked at the men, who glared at her. "Er, spouse, and we hate it. But there really isn't much that we can do about it."
"Yeah." A redhead stood up. "I'm Mary Jane, Spiderman's wife. I know the feeling. Spidy won't even take me web-slinging anymore."
"Aren't you dead?" One woman asked.
"I came back…. Again."
"Oh. Man, I wish I had that elasticity." Another woman said. "Then I wouldn't have been written out of the series."
"Yeah, but being written out gives your husband something to fight for."
"That's true, but it still sucks. They won't even let me see him. Unless I'm a ghost."
"Bummer."
"Um, hello." Mary Jane waved her arms. "I was talking here." She looked a little miffed. "Right. As I was saying, Spidy won't even let me go web-slinging. He gets so worried
about me, even though he knows that Stan Lee just writes me back in. It's pointless, but as Superhero's, our husbands have a job to worry about us."
"Even if we can take care of ourselves." One of the men mumbled.
"Yeah, you took care of yourself real well, Steve. Crashing in the Amazon like you did. And the number of times you made Wonder Woman come and save you from the bad guys. You and your father are just alike."
"Shut up Marge. Like you're any better." Steve and Marge thus began a starring contest.
"That's enough you two." Said a nameless bystander. "We don't need the two of you trying to kill each other again. Let's go back to Lois."
"I'm done." Lois sat down, looking ashamed.
The nameless bystander, who is the one to always get killed by the bad guy, stood up behind the podium. "Well, this has been another successful meeting. I'm so proud of all of
you."
"Why?" Murmured Lois.
"Did anyone have any last thoughts on today's discussion?" The bystander asked.
"Yes." A woman stood. "I would just like to say that Flash is the best Superhero around."
Sarah stood. "He is not! Batman could whip Flash's butt any day of the week!"
"Flash would run circles around Batman. None of his little tinker toys would help him."
"Superman would beat both of your husbands, and grind them up for his pancakes the next morning." Lois cried.
"Then he would cry like a baby that he killed someone!" Mary Jane laughed.
"Why you!" Lois leaped over a row of seats, landing on Mary Jane.
Mary Jane screamed as she fell over backwards.
"A fight!" Screamed another woman, jumping on top. "This is for your comment about The Green Lantern, Mary Jane."
With a scream, other women began adding to the pile.
The two men jumped up, and ran to the sides of the room for safety. "Catfight." Steve whispered.
"She's not here." The other one answered. "Neither is her husband."
"It's a shame really that she went and married a zookeeper. I always thought that Catwoman and Batman were a cute couple."
The other man shrugged. They turned to the huge fight in the middle of the floor. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck a chair nearby. Startled, everyone looked to the door.
"You will stop this now." Storm said, eyes blank. "You are disturbing the support group for people with superpowers next door. We will not warn you again."
There were a bunch of mumbled apologies, the women all righted their chairs, and sat down. Storm left with another glare at them.
"Well, as I was saying," The bystander smiled with a handkerchief held up to her bloody nose. "I'm very proud of all of you for sharing your feelings. I know that it must be hard to be the wives and husbands of superheroes. We all do what we can. I hope to see all of you here next week, so long as your various companies don't cancel your strips."
"Don't even think about that!" Wailed a woman.
"She was canceled last year, it's still a delicate subject." Her friend explained.
"Well…" the bystander blushed. "I guess that's it. See you all next time."
"What! We didn't even get to me!" One woman screamed. She kicked over her chair. "That's not fair! All of you are so stupid!" She began to storm out of the room, muttering. "I don't even know why I come to these meetings, it's so stupid. Bunch of no good wusses, who can't even think for themselves when a bad guy looks 'em in the face."
"Who is she married to?" Steve asked the girl sitting next to him.
"Johnny, the Human Torch. They have similar tempers, so Susan thought they would be perfect together."
"I pity their children."
THE END.