The Logic of Leaving
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek and I make no money from this fanfiction.
This is my first time writing Star Trek fanfiction in years, my earlier stuff was substandard, so I hope this will be an improvement. It's set after the series and before the motion picture.
Spock's gaze lingered on Kirk for a long time, his Captain was sleeping peacefully, it looked like nothing could disturb him, nothing could harm him. It was a stark contrast to the conflict that raged within Spock underneath the Vulcan-veneer of logic and lack of emotions. Spock had thought for a time that he would be able to balance the demands of both halves, his Vulcan half and his human half, Kirk had made him think that he could, made him think that a relationship might work.
It had worked for a while, Spock had been able to 'let go' a little, to allow himself to show some tiny semblances of emotion. But it wasn't so easy to overcome years of discipline, and suppression, he was still of the opinion that emotion was illogical, that it was crippling and so every time he did feel something he mentally admonished himself. He knew that he couldn't be human, not completely, and so he felt compelled to make a choice, the logical choice.
He would fully choose his Vulcan half over his human half; he would undertake Kolinahr and purge the dregs of feeling inside of him. Then he could be at peace with pure logic, the perfect solution to the war within himself.
He felt sad to leave Kirk, and he let himself feel sad, one last time before that would be taken away from him. He knew that Kirk wouldn't have any trouble finding someone else, he was like the light, he drew people like moths, many a woman would be pleased to get her hands on James T. Kirk. No, he resolved not to be unduly worried about the Captain, he was not arrogant enough to assume that he had some irreplaceable position in his life.
Still as he turned to slip away quietly, he felt a slight twinge, guilt perhaps. He turned back momentarily. He looked again at Kirk's sleeping form and quietly said "Goodbye Jim," before turning and leaving as quickly as he could, before he had chance to change his mind.
So that's it, I hope it was okay, please review, I love hearing people's comments.