Disclaimer: I do not own and of Yuu Watase's characters from Fushigi Yuugi. I also do not own church/temple.
Please enjoy
Tasuki Goes to Church
"Come on Tasuki. It won't be that bad, no da!" The blue haired monk tugged effortlessly on the reluctant bandit.
There ain't no way you're makin' me go there Chichiri! Never in a million years!" Shouted Tasuki who was holding on to a large tree for dear life.
Nuriko just happened to walk by with Miaka. "Now what are those two babbling about?" he asked.
"Oh, Chichiri has been trying to get Tasuki to go to Church…er I mean Temple." She forgot the term Church might not be used in this time period.
"Suzaku knows that Tasuki needs it. What with his swearing, drinking, and other blasphemous deeds and all." Nuriko laughed out loud. He was interrupted, however, by a loud gurgling noise to his left, but that didn't stop him from going into hysterics. "Jeez Miaka we gotta do something about that stomach or yours."
Miaka frowned. "It's not my fault that I'm always hungry! I'm a growing girl you know!" She pouted.
Nuriko ruffled her head affectionately. "Alright let's get something to eat. Tamahome should be in the kitchen anyway." At the mention of Tamahome's name Miaka left a shadow figure of herself in the dust. Nuriko shook his head and laughed. She never gives up does she?
Just as Nuriko was about to enter the building that an old couple graciously allowed to them rent Chichiri caught sight of him and called him over. "Not now Chiri-baby. I have to watch to priestess and make sure she doesn't choke on anything foreign while she stuffs her face."
Chichiri started to pout. "Just help me get Tasuki off of this tree, no da?" Then turning chibi, "We have to save his soul before it's too late, no da!" He received many a glare from Tasuki.
"Hey what makes ya think I need savin' anyway!" Fangs bared as he spoke.
"Well if it makes you two stop complaining…" Nuriko came over and grabbed the tree Tasuki was clutching to. Amidst the incredulous shouts of the Tasuki, Nuriko tore the tree out of the ground and shook him off.
"There. Happy now." Nuriko was brushing his hands off. "No," responded Tasuki, but Chichiri interrupted him. "Thank you, no da!"
At that moment Hotohori walked by. "What a glorious day for me, the emperor. The sun is out, my hair is beautiful, and I am feeling so perfectly divine. If only I had someone to share it with." Nuriko took this cue to jump up. "Yoohoo! Hotohori wait up! Let's admire your beauty together!" He looked toward the sweatdropping Chichiri and Tasuki, who was still on the ground with a blank face. "Have fun with your preaching or whatever!" With that last word Nuriko started running in the direction where he last spotted the emperor.
"Well at least he stopped wearing women's clothing," said a quiet Chiriko behind them.
Caught unawares by Chiriko and his voice Chichiri and Tasuki jumped with an "ack..no da!" Then Chichiri had this sudden plan. "Hey Chiriko! Let's go to Temple with Tasuki, no da!"
At the moment Chiriko's character was not on his foot so he barely noticed the shouts of fear and protest from Tasuki. He shrugged his shoulders. "Alright. Mistukake should be there so we can sit next to him."
Within an hour a victorious looking Chichiri and a pensive looking Chiriko were dragging an unconscious looking Tasuki with them to the Temple.
As Chiriko was thinking, you guessed it his character on his foot came back, he looked questionably at Chichiri. "Why exactly are we taking Tasuki to Temple? Shouldn't he be able to come on his own free will?"
Chichiri looked sheepishly down at the boy, with his arm behind his head while the other arm continued to drag Tasuki. "Well, you see, no da. Tasuki once told me that he has never been to the Temple and I was just wondering how he would handle it, no da!"
Chiriko just sweatdropped as he continued dragging Tasuki. "Then is there a reason why you knocked him out with your staff? I am almost certain he would have come anyway if you just reasoned with him…or bribed him."
"What?! no da!"
"Nothing, nothing," responded the boy.
Finally they arrived at the Temple. Unfortunately for everyone they all had to kneel and bow their heads. Tasuki was still out so with the aid of the strong Mitsukake they situated him into a kneeling position and began to chant with the lead priests.
Tasuki began to stir. Why the hell is my head on the ground and why do I hear chantin'? Then it dawned on him. "AH hell no!!!", he shouted. Tasuki quickly jumped up and brought out his harisen while he snarled, fangs out. His first instinct was to find Chichiri but instead there was a suspicious looking cat in front of him. Chiriko had lost his foot character again and started crying so Mistukake took him out.
"Now why would there be a cat in a Temple?" Tasuki wondered as he picked it up.
The 'cat' by this time had started to get nervous. "M-meow…no da!" Its paw quickly covered its mouth. Tasuki immediately caught on and grinned. "There is only one person who would say that!"
Giving up his disguise Chichiri turned chibi-Chiri. But he couldn't escape because Tasuki had grabbed onto his back shirt collar. "Uh….bye, no da!" Chichiri had 'poofed' his way out to safety.
"Why you little… Tasuki began but stopped when he heard footsteps behind him. He fearfully turned around and screamed.
Miaka, Tamahome, Nuriko, Hotohori, and the whole gang heard Tasuki's girlish scream as Chichiri ran towards them out of breath. Mitsukake followed shortly with Chiriko on his back. "Are you sure he's not in any danger Chichiri?" Mitsukake anxiously asked the monk.
"He shouldn't be, no da!" Huffed Chichiri. "I detected no danger in that Temple. It was peaceful, no da!"
Miaka walked up to the panicked trio. "What's wrong Chichiri?" Then she looked around. "Where is Tasuki?"
"This was Nuriko's cue to start laughing. "Don't tell me you left him in there! Ha!"
He couldn't continue speaking as he was rolling on the ground laughing.
Tamahome spoke up. "Not that I don't mind torturing Tasuki but why did you guys leave him there?"
Chichiri looked shamefully to the ground. "I panicked, no da." Everyone characteristically fell head first to the ground.
"What are we waiting for?" Miaka shouted. "Let's get him back! Show us the way Chichiri." Chichiri hesitantly bowed and walked a five minutes' worth walk to the Temple (it took an hour with Tasuki because he gave a struggle) only to find the doors locked and closed.
"That's strange, no da. They were open an hour ago!"
Mitsukake took a piece of parchment he found on the door and read it. "Chichiri, you better look at this."
Everyone looked over Chichiri's shoulder to see what it said: "PURIFICATION IN PROGRESS." Oh no, no da. Chichiri thought. I went too far!
Since Miaka couldn't understand what it said she had to ask. "I don't understand this writing Chichiri." Then looking up she noticed that Chichiri had taken his mask off. "What does this mean Chichiri?!"
Before he could answer her question the large temple doors slowly opened. With their attention solely focused on the figure before them, they all gasped. Miaka buried her face in Tamahome's chest as he tried to comfort her. Nuriko fainted in the unsuspecting arms of Hotohori while Mitsukake tried to cover Chiriko's eyes. Chichiri just looked down with his right hand on his forehead.
"This wasn't supposed to happen, no da."
Standing before them clothed in a white robe was Tasuki. He was smiling with his arms spread out, a yellowish glow behind him for special effect. "Welcome my Children!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I apologize if some of the characters are out-of-character. It's supposed to be humorous.
I actually wanted to write this for a while. It didn't come out as I hoped it to be, but it's still here and it makes me feel proud.