For You
"Join me, William," says Xana as William floats in the sea, his head aches, and his ears bleed, and he's melting from the inside out. "Join me."
"Never," says William, and he screams, because Xana is in him and he's in Xana and Xana is all around him. "I'm nothing if not loyal to my friends."
"Then you are nothing," says Xana, and he is in William's head and makes William believe it. "You have no friends. You are disloyal. But you can be loyal to me. I can be your friend."
"You are never my friend," says William, and he knows he's going to die, and he knows it because Xana wants him to think it. "I have friends. You are my enemy, my true enemy, you are—" And William is cut off because Xana is causing him such pain that he feels suicidal, but it is worse then that, Xana has made him think that he is the most evil thing in the world, that he is the same thing as Xana, that Xana is part of him always.
"Join me and I can grant your greatest desire," says Xana, and he tries to make William believe it, but William is for once too strong and he knows it is a lie. He is fighting Xana in his head, but he cannot win forever. "You know what you are." His voice is seductive, and then he does the cruelest thing of all. "You know you want to," he says, but it is not the voice of the demon, it is the voice of the one William loves more then anything. "You know what I can get for you." And for a second the voice penetrates William, as sweet as an angel, he sees her fighting on Lyoko, talking to him on Earth, his heart aches, and he would do anything for her—
And then it is over. And he is furious.
"You liar!"
"William, William," the sweet voice says. "Always the outsider. You know what others want of you but you can never quite do it." And something is happening in William's mind, a scene from long ago—
"Who are you dating now?" William asks. He is nine again, his mother has just come back from the bar, she divorced his father a month ago and she's already been through nine boyfriends.
"What makes you think I'm seeing anyone?"
"You always are." She is drunk again.
"Don't speak like that," she whispers. And she strikes him hard across the face, her nails are sharp, he is bleeding, he is crying, his mother looks over him, she shows no remorse, and he knows that he can never be what she wants him to be.
"Please," William mutters. He knows that only he is around to hear him, because his mother left him crying on the floor, his blood is all over his face, and he makes a plea to God to make his life better somehow. God never answers. God never answers William.
Then the flashback is over.
"I can end it," says Xana. "I can end it all, I can give you what you want."
"Okay," says William. He is barely whispering. "If you give me her."
"I will give her to you," says Xana. And William becomes the herald of the demon.
He fights her every day.
He watches as Xana tries to kill his friends.
But he knows he is doing it for a reason.
It is the same reason that Jeremy did not sleep for months on end.
It is the same reason that Odd, Ulrich, and Yumi jump in front of lasers on Lyoko.
It is the same reason that no one just shut down Xana the day he was activated.
It is the same reason that William pretended to like Yumi for so long.
When William is all alone, he whispers to himself. He says over and over again the reason he is doing it all. Over and over he whispers to try to console himself.
"For you, Aelita," he whispers as he cries himself to sleep.