Okay. So. Welcome back to Grapes! This story was adopted from HolidayBoredom. She asked me to wait a while after she took it down before I put it back up, but then I went and totally forgot. I'll be posting the rest of the story over the next week or two.
Author: HolidayBoredom
Disclaimer: This story is adopted and was originally posted on HolidayBoredom's profile. Unfortunately, I do not own Artemis Fowl.
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Document – 2568796
Patient No. 55555 (AFII)
Day ** *
Verbal Log (extract)
H – A******?
A – Hello, H****.
Door clicks shut.
H – Hey.
A – Hello.
Pause.
H – How's your head?
A – Still slightly diseased. How's yours?
Pause.
H – It's good. Thanks.
A – I'm glad to hear it.
Pause.
H – A******, I –
A – Would you care for –?
Pause.
A – My apologies. What were you going to say?
H – Nothing. Who would I care for?
A – I was going to say a grape.
H – Oh. Um, yeah, I'll have a grape.
A – Here. They're really quite delicious, if a little clichéd beside a sickbed.
Bag rustles.
H – You're right.
A – About the cliché or the taste?
H – Both.
A – Mother brought them for me. She wasn't sure whether fairy food would be quite up to proper standards –
H – A******, I lied.
Pause.
A – I'm sorry?
H – Earlier. Frond, that sounds so dramatic. Just… when I said I didn't have anything to say… I did.
Pause.
A – Then why didn't you say it?
H – Because you interrupted me.
A – I interrupted you about grapes, H****. Surely if you had anything important to say to me it would have taken precedence.
H – Well, I didn't know you were going to talk about grapes, did I?
You asked me would I care for something.
A – Yes. For grapes.
H – Look. Could we please just leave the grape thing alone? Gods, you are so hard to talk to sometimes.
Pause.
A – Would you mind if I continued to eat the grapes?
H – Do what you want, A******.
A – Thank you. I shall.
Pause.
H – Enjoying those?
A – Very much. Would you care for another?
H – No.
Pause.
H – Are you even bothered about what I was going to say to you?
A – Not if you thought it was an inferior topic to grapes.
Slapping noise.
A – Ow!
H – You deserved it.
A – That is going to leave a mark.
H – Good.
A – You know I have no idea what Orion was talking about calling you Fair Maiden. He made you sound so soft and gentle.
H – Well, Orion went on about a lot of things that supposedly didn't make sense.
A – That he did.
Pause.
H – Chuck me a grape.
A – Oh ho! So the grapes are back in favour now are they?
H – Shut up and pass me a grape.
A – No.
H – Fine. I'll get one myself.
A – No, you won't.
Scuffles and a bag rustling.
H – A******!
More scuffles.
H – Stop being childish!
A – Being technically the only child in the room I reserve the right to be as childish as–
H – A******! We're going to–!
Bang.
H – Fall.
Pause.
A – H****.
H – Yes?
A – Your knee is in my groin.
Pause.
H – Sorry.
Scuffles.
H – Well…I got your grapes.
A – You did indeed.
H – Sorry.
A – It was an accident I'm sure.
H – Our meetings always tend to end in those.
A – Why, are you leaving?
H – No. Not unless you want me to?
A – I don't.
Pause.
A – Who else would help me finish all of these?
Pause.
A – Who did you think I was asking you to care for, H****?
H – I thought you were asking me to care for you.
A – And why did that stop you from saying what you were going to say?
H – Because I was going to ask you whether you'd been thinking about asking me to care for you.
A – And you stopped in order to let me do it?
H – Yes.
Pause
H – But then you talked about grapes instead: an altogether safer subject.
A – Which is something you and I have always been great fans of: safety.
H – Bivouacs: brilliant things.
A – Indeed.
Pause.
A – Would you care for me, H****?
Pause.
H – I'd prefer a grape.
A – H****.
Pause.
H – I don't know.
A – A fair answer. I don't often care for myself.
H – You know I care for you, A******. It's just whether I…
Pause.
A – Do not worry, H****. I should never have asked you.
H – But it was my fault that you did.
A – Weren't you prepared for it?
H – I thought I would be. I thought I'd know when it came.
A – Then you knew I would eventually ask unprompted?
H – I knew there was… something in Orion that was in you.
Pause.
A – Idiocy.
H – No, A******. Not idiocy.
Pause.
A – I still think of it you know; on the bonnet of that car. The windscreen wiper was sticking into my hip.
Pause.
A – And you. There at my side. Your eyes closed. The sunset painted against your skin.
Pause.
A – You know.
Pause.
A – I think I would have kissed you.
Pause.
H – I think I would have kissed you back.
A – Really?
Pause.
A – You mean you wouldn't have hit me?
H –What–? No!
A – Come now, H****. You cannot say it would have been out of character.
H – What–? How –? How do you even do this?
A – Do what?
H – Manage to turn everything into an argument!
A – We're not having an argument.
H – A******.
A – What?
Pause.
H – Well get on–
A – Would you care–
Pause.
A – Sorry. What were you saying?
H – You first.
A – I was going to ask if you wanted any more grapes.
Pause.
H – Are you being serious?
A – Why? What were you going to say?
H – Really? Really? Surely even you cannot be this emotionally stunted.
A – Emotionally–? What?
H – I give up. Truly, I give up.
A – H****, I don't have the slightest–
H – I was going to tell you to get on with kissing me!
Pause.
A – Tell me again.
Pause.
A – H****. Please. I promise I shan't interrupt.
Pause.
H – Pass me a grape.
A – H****!
H – Grape.
Pause.
H – Hmmm.
Pause.
H – These are so moreish.
Pause.
A – This is hardly ethical, H****.
H – What is?
A – Torturing a mental patient.
Pause.
H – You're only a little mental.
Pause.
H – There. Finished.
A – You're sure? You wouldn't care for a biscuit or anything?
H – Well if you're–
A – I was being facetious.
Pause.
H – You know I thought about it too.
A – On the car?
H – Yep. Me, going on and on. You, just looking at me. Just looking.
A – I was memorising the moment.
H – For future self-torment?
A – Something like that.
Pause.
H – Exactly like that.
Pause.
H – And, yes.
A – Yes, what?
H – Yes. I would care for you.
Pause.
A – Ask me, H****.
Pause.
A - Ask me everything.
Pause.
H – Would you care for me?
A – Yes.
H – Would it be so bad?
A – No.
Pause.
H – Would you please get on with kissing me?
End Verbal Log (extract)
As Holi said: All reviews appreciated!