Hey, it's me again. Don't worry, I'm still working on "Enough" but I always had this idea and figured I'd write some of it.
Disclaimer: Yea, I know I don't own any of the "Friends" characters…blah, blah, blah.
Love: that funny little word
Now, when I look back, that day should have been one of the happiest days of my life. Two of my best friends just got hitched, I should have been ecstatic…right? They finally found true love in each other after searching all the wrong places. I should've been a part of the people following the two lovebirds as they ran out of the chapel in sheer happiness, throwing rice and cheering. I should have been one of those people…shouldn't I have? But I wasn't. I was just standing there, in that stupid bridesmaid dress that made me look like a damn tropical fruit, watching as they left. They are two of my best friends so yeah, sure, I guess I was happy, but not totally. There was just something holding me back and I didn't know what it was. Who was I kidding? I knew exactly what it was…I was in love with the groom. God how much of an ass was I? I shouldn't have been feeling that way. I was a happily married woman with a 3-year-old child and a husband who loved me. Once again, that inexplicable question arose, shouldn't I be happy? I had everything I ever wanted but I still felt an important part was missing…love. That was it. But, you know, what was love really? Know one could truthfully and honestly explain it. It was a just a four letter word that people twist into definitions they could live with. Was it when you get butterflies all over you as soon as that person walked into the room? If so, then didn't those butterflies eventually die? Either that couldn't have been it or my butterflies were dead and buried. Is it when you care for someone so much that you want and would do anything for him or her? I did care for my husband; I did with all my heart. I mean he was the father of my son and made my dreams come true. He supposedly loved me but I couldn't ask him how he knew. How would that sound: " Hey honey, I just wanted to know how you know that your in love with me cause I can't seem to figure out if I love you." Maybe I did love him in the beginning but that fire that everyone talks about has burned out. Your probably thinking that if I had so many questions about the L-word then how did I know that I was in love with the groom? Well it's simple really. I felt for him what I didn't feel for my husband.
" Monica?" My thoughts were broken by someone calling my name.
" Yes, Richard?" Speak of the devil. Now it was time to put on my best fake smile.
" Let's go. Tom's waiting in the car."
" Okay sweetie." Agh! And so the hell began.
*****
There I was… at the reception. That was a looong night.
" And here comes Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!" I never thought I'd see the day when Chandler Bing got married to Phoebe Buffay. I used to think that she thought he was annoying and he thought she was flaky and weird. I guess I was wrong because sure enough 2 years after my wedding, at Ross and Rachel's, while Phoebe was getting over David the scientist guy, her and Chandler had a one night stand. At least it was supposed to be one night. Their relationship flourished and 6 months later they got married. I mean come on! This was Commitment phobic Chandler! That was totally out of character for him. But that was like Phoebe. God I wished that was me! No one knew about it but before I got married, Chandler and I had a little secret fling that I wasn't proud of but couldn't end. Then Richard proposed and I didn't know what to do. I talked to Chandler about it, he told me that he'd never commit and that I should marry Richard. So I did. When I heard about Chandler and Phoebe's engagement, I took it really hard. I kept thinking that it should have been me. But besides all of my drama, everyone else seemed to be doing fine, even Joey. I can't believe how successful he became. A couple years ago he moved to LA. We wanted him to stay but his show was being relocated. He flew in for all three weddings but this time he brought his girlfriend Michelle. They looked like they were in love. Damn that word! Luckily, Rachel came to save me from my self.
" Hey"
" Hey"
" Are you okay?"
" I'm fine." She shot me a look of disbelief. " No really. I'm fine."
" If you say so."
" Well I do say so."
" Look at them two, Chandler and Phoebe." She sighed with a smile.
" Yeah."
" Ya know, I used to think that it would have been you with Chandler."
" What?"
" Yeah." She shrugged. " I just thought you- hey Ross." Ross came right when the conversation was getting good.
" Hey babe. Hey Mon."
" Hi."
" You girls behaving?"
" Yes sir." Rachel replied. I just had to roll my eyes at that.
" No, we're planning to rob a liquor store on the corner of 4th and main."
" Funny. Richard was looking for you."
" Well here I am."
" Are you alright?"
" Yes I'm fine."
" I'm gonna go mingle."
" Okay." He just had to steal a kiss from her before leaving.
" As you were saying…"
" What?"
" Me and Chandler?"
" Oh, yeah. You guys just always acted like a couple so I figured you'd eventually hook up, get married and have kids. Of course this is before Richard came into the picture."
" I never thought about that. I guess we did act like a couple. That's interesting."
" Why is it interesting?"
" Well because now I-." I stopped myself. I couldn't tell her about my feelings for him. That would be inappropriate since we were at his wedding and I was married. " I mean, its interesting because I never thought of it. That's all."
" Okay…" Time to change the subject.
" I'm gonna go look for Richard. I'll be right back."
" Take your time." Just then I felt someone tap me on my back and I turned to see Richard.
" May I have this dance?"
" Certainly, Mr. Burke."
" Why thank you Mrs. Burke." As we danced, Richard held me close and my eyes wandered to Chandler and Phoebe. At that same moment his eyes met mine and he gave me that irresistible Chandler smile. God, what was I going to do?
Tell me what you think. Is it a good start? Should I continue? Does it make sense? Review!