Drake wondered if perhaps he had grown just a little too dependant on Josh, if maybe he had let himself rely on his stepbrother's undying love and respect for him too much. He had fooled himself into believing that when Josh went to college he would be okay. He would go on to be a great musician and life would resume. Now he cursed his arrogance and stupidity.

He was sitting on his bed in his room all alone, strumming the strings to his guitar while hearing nothing at all. He wondered if perhaps Josh had gotten lost, or was having problems unpacking, or something like that, because he hadn't called yet. Then again, perhaps Josh was celebrating in the fact that he had finally escaped him. Maybe he had made new, smarter friends and was talking to them and laughing with them. He was telling all the other nerds about his stepbrother who couldn't tell the difference between inseminated and insinuated.

He picked a string angrily, feeling more than hearing how it reverberated around the room, rebounding his feelings back in his face and making his insecurity spike acutely. He could just see it now. Josh was laughing with his new roommate, writing down all the things they had in common, how much fun they were going to have while Drake rotted away with the feeling of incompletion gnawing at his heart. He wasn't going to call Drake because he was just so happy to be away that he couldn't stand to ruin it by calling and reassuring him that he at least got to his snooty new college safely.

He settled his guitar on his lap, making sure it was steady before he reached into his pocket to remove his phone. He had done this every five minutes it seemed like. He was hoping beyond hope that perhaps his guitar would have been too loud to hear his ringtone for Josh, but he knew his pants were too tight not to feel the vibration. It was just wishful thinking, and he was thinking now that he was too stuck on waiting for his Josh to call him and at least say he was safe. He was even more stuck on the anger and the hurt that it was four o'clock in the morning and he still hadn't received a call.

"Damn it, Josh!" he cursed at the phone as he flung it across the room. The loud thud on the wall was satisfying and made his rage recede a little into the recesses of his mind, but it made his anxiety sky-rocket.

'What if he tries calling me now?' he thought with dread as he set his guitar on the bed and made a mad dash to the corner of the room where his phone had been thrown. It was in three pieces—the phone, the battery, and the cover—but it was fixable and he slid it all into place like a puzzle he had completed too many times. When he turned the phone over and on, he saw that he still had no calls. It was almost enough to make him throw the damn thing again.

Drake crawled over to the couch and flopped himself against it forcefully. Four in the morning, running solely off of energy drinks, and waiting for someone to call him…oh the irony of him, Drake, waiting for a call. It was ridiculous to even think about, and even more ridiculous that he hadn't gotten said call.

He leaned his head on the back of the couch, willing the phone to ring and buzz around on their coffee table—still their coffee table. The mantra in his head was worried, angry, and yearning, but above all else steady and repetitive. He eventually drifted off to sleep with the phrase of his undoing echoing… 'Don't forget me, Josh.'



The next morning—afternoon really; he had awoken at one—he instantly dived for his phone, damning the couch for not being as comfortable without Josh around. He flipped the cellular device open and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest with happiness.

Four missed calls, three voicemails, and three texts…all from Josh.

His smile could have lit the entire state of California at that second in time. He called his voicemail and pressed the phone to his ear excitedly, listening to the operator tell him that he had missed the first call at four forty-five, and nearly whooping out loud when he heard Josh's voice saying tiredly, "Hey, Drake. I just made it in. Sorry I didn't call earlier. My phone died on the trip. Call you later. Love you."

The next one said, "Hey, Drake. I know you're asleep but I was just hoping to hear your voice before I passed out. Call me back. Love you."

Josh's voice was super tired in the last one, but even more than that it sounded mournful as it said to his answering machine at ten o'clock that morning, "Hey, Drake. I know you don't get up before noon if you don't have to, but I just can't seem to sleep. I think I miss you too much to sleep here. My roommate is already sleeping and is snoring like a freight train. I really don't know how well this is going to work. Please call me as soon as you wake up. Love you."

Drake hurried and read through the text messages, each of them bemoaning his new roommate and his habits. Sad thing was his roommate wasn't even awake yet to really annoy Josh. But what really caught his attention was the statement, reiterated over and over through every message he had heard or read.

Josh still loved him.

Drake pressed the callback button and hurriedly pressed the phone to his ear, needing to hear Josh's voice just as badly as Josh had needed to hear his. The phone hadn't ringed twice before he heard, "Hello! Drake?"

If his smile earlier had been bright, Drake's smile now was radiant. "Josh! Hey, man, I'm sorry I missed your calls. I…I stayed up pretty late last night. I guess I was so exhausted I didn't hear my phone ring." He was almost afraid that Josh would ask him why he stayed up so late, and then he would have to admit that he had stayed up until four waiting avidly for his phone to alert him of Josh's call.

However, whether he knew the reason behind Drake's late night or not, Josh didn't ask him to expound on that thought. "It's okay. I knew you would be asleep. Call it a sixth sense," he said lightly.

Drake laughed, but the silence that followed was tense. Drake wanted to scream, yell, cry, and beg for Josh to come home, but pride kept him from doing so. He was proud of Josh's acceptance into that college and he was proud of his dignity. He wasn't going to do anything to prove otherwise. So, simply he asked, "What makes you think that your snooty college isn't going to work out for you?"

Over the phone, he heard his stepbrother sigh. "The college is going to be fine for me. It's the being away from you that I doubt will work."



Drake's heart swooped down to his stomach. His mind went around in rollercoaster loops. He wanted to say come back, that he would go there, or that they would get used to it eventually. All of the statements were so different and pulling his mind in so many directions and making him realize in sharp focus that he really, really missed and loved Josh. In the end all he could mutter out was, "I miss you too."

"I was thinking that maybe after this semester, I would transfer to a state college in California."

"I thought you were proud to be going to that University?"

"I am!" Josh said quickly, making the little shreds of hope that had built in Drake tumble apart again. "But I don't think that I'll be able to stand not seeing you everyday. It's a little crazy here and I'm totally out of my element. I haven't even been here an entire day and…and all I've wanted to do is talk to you. I mean, think about how I'm going to be in a few months! I'll be planning my days around when I'll be able to call you! I won't be able to get my work done with any efficiency; I won't be able to listen to the professors' lecture; I doubt I'll even be able to pass my first test without talking to you for an hour beforehand!" By the end of that admission, Josh was yelling into the phone, and Drake was realizing how stupid he had been for doubting his brother last night.

"I didn't think I was that important to your daily life," he said, trying to make it sound light and completely true to Drake-style. However, it came out as a truthful statement, begging for the other to reassure him.

Drake could just imagine Josh shrugging, because that seemed to be all he did when Drake went through his self-conscious stages, rare and short though they were. "You've always been important to me…since the day we met."

Drake put his head in his free hand, covering up his eyes which were watery and stinging. "I love you, Josh," he said, thankfully with a steady voice.

"I love you too, Drake."

They stayed silent for several minutes, each just listening to the sound of the other breathing. When finally they broke the quiet, it was Josh who told Drake he would be looking into the local college in California, maybe one around Los Angeles, where Drake was hoping to move too before to long so he could pursue his music career. They talked about apartment prices, and daily living and the fact that they would probably both have to work a part-time job—"I'll probably be the one working the part-time job, but the thought is nice," Josh said jokingly. They conversed about Josh's roommate, and how empty their room seemed without Josh in it. They spoke of everything.

Finally, they decided they should get off the phone and try to get something productive done for the day. Their good-byes were long and hesitant. They didn't want to get off the phone. They wanted to talk all day like they would be able to if they were both in the same room. They did get off the phone though.

And though Drake was still going withdrawals of not having his other half with him, as was Josh on the other side of the country, he was more assured in the fact that Josh still loved him. Josh missed him too.



Josh wouldn't forget about him.

A/N: Yeah…this snuck up on me too. I watch the Dance Contest episode today. Nearly fell out of my chair at how freaking cute that was. I'll probably have to write a fanfic about that soon. But until then…here's this piece of crap.

Hope you like it. Please review.

Disclaimer: I doubt Drake Bell and Josh Peck would have done what I wanted them to if I had owned the show. Yeah. That says it all.

InnocentGuilt