Disclaimer: I do not own the wonderfully destructive characters of FFVII, I do own my wonderfully destructive muses.
A/N: laughs sheepishly I'd like you all to keep in mind that the plotline for this was originally Firehedgehog's idea… And I'm quite aware that Kaa-san and Tou-san are not spelled exactly as they should be.
Warnings: Implied Cloud/Seph and Cloud/Vin…fairly disturbing conversations and last but not least, random humor. Oh and any flames will be fed to my muse of fire. He's been feeling down lately.
"Now how in the hell do you think this happened?" Cloud asks, staring at the chibi-sized general sitting in the middle of his living room. Vincent shrugs, red eyes glued to the silver haired form of the sleeping toddler.
Cloud sighs, staring down at the sleeping chibi. Sephiroth really was kind of cute when he was small, sleeping and not trying to kill/abduct/molest/stab him. Which wasn't often considering he had never met Sephiroth when he was small. Now all of the sudden he was dreading him waking up…
"Do you think we could run for the door and pretend this never happened?" Cloud asks, he had a really, really bad feeling about this. He did not want to add 'was molested by a chibi-Sephiroth' to his list of disturbing things that have happened to him.
"Then we'd be responsible for unleashing a chibi-Sephiroth on the world…" Vincent says, looking around Cloud's abandoned villa. Cloud sweatdrops and looks at the sleeping child who stretches and yawns.
Cloud and Vincent jump as Sephiroth sits up and stares at them with unblinking green eyes. He cocks his head slightly as he studies the pair, his eyes lighting up as they landed on Cloud. Cloud steps back as a small grin breaks out on the chibi's face as he hurls himself at him.
"KAA-SAN!" He shrieks as he attaches himself to Cloud's waist. Cloud's arms windmill as he struggles to stay upright from the unexpected attack. Sephiroth snuggles up to his archenemy, almost purring with the pleasure of being near his kaa-chan.
"Kaa-san?" Vincent says, blinking stupidly at the blonde. Cloud glares at him, blue eyes narrowing dangerously as Sephiroth let's out a happy sigh and snuggles closer. Vincent bursts out laughing, nearly crying because it's just so funny.
Sephiroth looks up from his cuddling of Cloud's waist and glares at Vincent with emerald green eyes. "Tou-san, why are you laughing at Kaa-san?" Vincent stops laughing and stares at Sephiroth like he's suddenly become the grown-up version of himself still molesting Cloud…not that is was unusual or anything. Sephiroth frowns. "Get over and hug Kaa-san now…" Sephiroth growls, eyes narrowing dangerously.
Vincent sweatdrops and obeys, hugging the smaller blonde. Cloud blushes slightly, his eyes averting to Sephiroth-chibi who is smiling happily at the both of them. It was…for lack of a better word, absolutely adorable…
And who just happens to barge in at this odd little bonding moment, you guessed it: Yuffie. The Shinobi girl bounces happily into the living room and stumbles upon the…disturbed pair and their 'son'.
"OH MY GOD CLOUD AND VINCENT HAD SEX AND HAD A CHIBI-SEPHIROTH!" Yuffie squeals, bouncing up and down at the idea. Smirking she whips out a camera and takes a picture before running off. Sephiroth looks very confused.
Looking up at his 'Tou-san' he innocently asks the most devastating question any child can ask their parents or any adult for that matter. "Tou-san, What's sex?" Vincent almost faints and Cloud begins to closely resemble a tomato.
Not wanting to offend a potentially dangerous psychopath who was convinced he was his father, Vincent tries to find a way to put an explanation in such a way that will not scar him for life… Not that he wasn't already scarred enough. "Well, Sex is what to people do when they really love each other."
"Like you and Kaa-san right?" Sephiroth asks curiously, Cloud blushes even more and Vincent fears he might pop a blood vessel. Once again he tries to find a way around this without scarring the child. Sephiroth cocks his head to one side. "And you still haven't answered my question…So how about you show me instead of telling me?"
At this Cloud faints, Vincent decides to escape and Sephiroth grins evilly and unchibifies himself to molest the unconscious Cloud. Something that he did not regret in the morning even though Cloud kicked him through a wall and Vincent tried to shoot him in the head.
Hey it was fun while it lasted.
End
BloodyChaos: " That was somewhat amusing to write…I adore Chibi-Sephiroth, it's adorable."
Zach: "That was…disturbing."
BloodyChaos: "Shut up Zach, anyways if you liked it please review ."