a/n: So this will be the first of a series of one-shots I will be attempting that is basically going to be 'A Year of Swan Queen Holidays'. Each one-shot will be connected by timeline, yet should also hopefully remain their own entity. I hope this format works. In any case. I hope you enjoy this initial holiday installment.
New Years Eve…
"Can't ring in the new year without drinks." Ruby commented as she approached Emma and Regina with two champagne flutes in one hand and her own in her other.
"Thanks." Emma forced a smile toward her friend as she grabbed the extra glasses and handed one over to Regina, the brunette not really paying attention as she somberly watched the rest of the occupants of the diner talking and laughing.
"What's up with her?" Ruby leaned over and half whispered in Emma's ear as she came to stand next to her.
"Hmm?" Emma gave a glance at Regina before turning back to the younger woman and shrugging. "I don't think she really wants to be here."
"Obviously. But why did she come if she didn't want to in the first place?"
"I'm right here, you can stop talking as though I'm not." Regina finally spoke up and turned to look at the other two women. Ruby held up her hand showing no harm. Regina just sighed, "sorry," before walking off. She hated these celebrations, they were ridiculous. It's just another year...alone.
"Wait, did I actually get a sorry out of Regina?" Ruby asked, standing there a bit stunned. "Oh, there's Belle." She gave a wave to her other friend and took off to speak to her, cutting Emma off on her answer back to the question.
Emma just shook her head and let out a chuckle at her friend's exuberance before turning to spot Regina again and headed over to where she stood off in a corner of the room. "Well I think you shocked Ruby out of her heels." She commented as she came into view, the brunette furrowing her brow in confusion. "Saying you were sorry for snapping at her. She did have a point though. Why did you come if you didn't want to?" Emma questioned, interested in the reason herself. She knew Regina didn't usually do something if she didn't want to.
"Your mother asked me."
That simple, short response caused a snort from the blonde as she covered her mouth to hold in her laugh. She honestly hadn't expected that answer. "Please don't take this wrong but, why would you do what my mother asked you?"
"Look, I'm trying to be good, however difficult it is around the two idiots." Regina commented, her lip twitching up at the corner in amusement. "And besides, Henry wanted to come so…"
Emma chuckled, happy to see she could get a smile, however small, from the other woman. "Well if it makes you feel any better, I got roped into coming as well." She expressed and looked around at the rest of the packed diner. "Kind of hate these things, to be honest."
"Really?" Regina asked, quirking her brow in surprise.
"Don't look so shocked. I just…" Emma grew slightly somber in thought. "Growing up, all this day reminded me of was that I was alone. Another year… alone." Regina's breath caught in her throat at the blonde's words echoing her own thoughts from a moment ago. "But we're not alone, right?" Emma tried to bring herself back up as she turned to smile at the other woman, but it faded as fast as it came. "Regina? Are you alright?" Emma inquired at the woman's sudden pallor.
"What? Yes, it was just..." Regina fumbled around to find coherency, which only caused the blonde to cock her head in curiosity to the off nature of the other woman. Regina grounded herself and took a breath, giving Emma a warm smile finally in return. "I guess I just never quite realized how similar to a degree we are. Though our pasts were quite different, and yours, no thanks to me was as rough as it was, we were both alone. I guess, in a way, we're kindred spirits."
Emma went to respond in kind but the time was getting close and the chatter around the diner picked up, drowning out anything she wanted to say. Looking around everyone was finding their partner, beginning the countdown in unison. "10… 9… 8…" Everyone was happy and however selfish it sounded, in that moment she couldn't stand seeing it. Wondering if Regina was feeling the same, she dared a glance at the woman next to her and found the brunette avoiding the scene as she watched the fizzing bubbles of the champagne in her glass.
"3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!" The room burst out in unison. Not even daring to think of the possible consequences, Emma downed her champagne and placed it on the nearest table. Taking a deep breath, she turned and took Regina's face in her hands and planted a kiss right upon her lips. Regina's eyes widened at the initial and unexpected turn of events, but as the kiss continued her eyes slowly fluttered shut, giving in to the moment.
When the kiss finally broke, Emma pulling away as she dropped her hands, they stood there staring at one another not sure what should be said. Oh my God, why did I just do that? With Emma's confidence beginning to waiver, and a sudden fear of what the brunette might do, she turned heel and stormed out of the diner. Regina stood there an instant longer, not quite sure what to make of the impromptu kiss, watching the blonde's retreat before setting her glass down and following after her.
Emma was there by the small gate in front of the diner, looking out into the street as she wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm. She didn't dare turn around when she heard the door to the diner open and the sound of heels clicking down the pathway toward her. And here's where it all ends, Emma thought to herself. She had been expecting an explosion, something similar to what Regina did to her at the manor that one time, sending her flying through the air and out into the street. Wonder if she could just knock me into the next town over, Emma contemplated. But, instead of the fall out that she had been waiting for, she felt the gentle touch of a hand upon her arm. That simple touch made her forget how to breathe.
"Emma, what was that in there?" Regina asked softly.
"If you're having to ask, I clearly didn't do it right." Emma's sarcastic remark flew out before she could stop it. She cringed as soon as the last word fell from her lips.
"Yes, I'm well aware of the actual activity, dear. You know quite well that isn't what I was referring to."
Emma tried to gauge the tone of the other woman's voice to find any anger or malice but there was none to be found. Perhaps a tinge of annoyance, but annoyance she could handle. Letting out the breath she had been holding, she slowly turned around to face the older woman. "I don't know just… don't throw a fireball at me. I… have magic now too so… just sayin'." Emma stumbled through her words as she took one of the chairs at the nearest table and plopped down. "And if I knew how to poof myself out of here I would," she half mumbled to herself. Regina went to address the blonde's wrong assumption of the matter, having no intention of attacking her, when she heard the diner door open.
"Hey! Moms, you gotta…"
"Give us a minute, Henry." Regina requested, cutting her son's words off as she looked to him.
The boy furrowed his brow with concern. "Yeah, okay." He said absentmindedly, not actually moving as he noticed Emma not quite herself.
"Please, Henry. Go inside." Regina stated once more, Henry giving in with a small nod before turning around and going back in the diner. She waited, continuing to stare toward the door to see if anyone else would be coming out. Getting an idea, she turned back toward Emma and held out her hand. "Give me your hand." Emma looked up at her with confusion, her brow knitted together wondering what the other woman was up to. Regina just rolled her eyes and gave a light huff. "Trust me." She gave a slight motion of her hand again to indicate for the blonde to take it.
Emma dropped her gaze to the brunette's hand. "Crazy as it sounds, you're the only one I do trust." She said a tad somberly before deciding to take the offered hand. Regina flicked her free wrist, initiating her signature purple cloud of magic. It whirled around them, Emma feeling the silky caress of the magic as it enveloped and transported them.
She could hear the water lapping against the shore before she could see it. As the purple cloud evaporated, Emma hesitantly let go of Regina's hand and took in the quiet calm of the beach where they now found themselves. "Why'd you do that?"
"Less interruptions." Regina offered the simplest of answers.
Emma found a spot she liked on the beach and kicked her shoes off before sitting down, burying her toes in the sand. Regina watched her before deciding to do the same, taking a spot next to her. They both sat there in silence a spell as they watched and listened to the waves, neither knowing how to start the conversation that needed to be had.
"Sorry." Emma stated faintly, breaking the silence with that one small word.
"Sorry for what? The kiss?" Regina inquired as she looked over at Emma, the blonde continuing to stare out at the water. "Or not asking first?" The last question caused Emma to whip her head around at the other woman ready to apologize even more for that when she saw the small smirk on Regina's face.
Emma let out a small huff of relief as she shook her head before looking down at her feet in the sand. "I guess since you put it that way, I should apologize for both. I honestly didn't know I was going to do it until it happened."
"I see." Regina commented before reverting her gaze to the water.
"But, since we're talking about it... why aren't you throwing something at me, or throwing me?" Emma questioned, glancing to gauge her response. "You don't seem mad that I kissed you. Unless this is cold, calculating Regina I am dealing with, whom is in the process of plotting my demise." She narrowed her eyes with playfulness.
Regina couldn't help the tiny smile that came upon her face. "You can set your worries at ease, Emma."
The blonde couldn't quite explain why but hearing her name come from the other woman seemed to give her a sense of calm lately. Not Miss Swan, but Emma. She set her gaze up to the stars in thought. "I'm sorry for all that my family put you through." She confessed after a bout of silence.
"Your family wasn't the only one, though yes they were the focus of my rage. My mother had a great hand in it too that I have come to terms with. But thank you." Regina reached down and ran her hand over the sand, feeling the cool grains running through her fingers. "I was so afraid of her, my mother, that I became what I hated; hoping that would be enough, hoping I would be enough and she would let me live in peace. But I couldn't stand the man I had to marry because of her." She clenched her jaw at the memory. "It was just another person who showed me I wasn't enough, that I would never be enough. So it simply fed my anger and vengeance."
Emma sat there listening with a heavy heart. She knew the feeling, never being good enough, people wanting you to be someone you didn't want to be. It was bringing back her own memories of bad foster homes. Life on her own, getting by any way she could, constantly looked over her shoulder wondering if this time she'd be caught.
"That anger and vengeance fed the darkness. I thought it would give me the power to finally be free. But in the end I wasn't free, I was its slave. It devoured my anger at the world and became stronger itself. It enveloped my every being and told me I was enough, that I didn't need anyone. There were times I tried to fight it when I realized the extent of what I had done, but the darkness simply stroked my pain and reminded me of everything I lost, whispering in my ear that they deserved it." Regina fisted her hand, gripping the sand tightly. "I just wanted someone to love me for me," she finished in a whisper.
Emma just barely caught the brunette's last words and looked over to find her staring down at her own clenched fist as a tear ran down the side of her cheek. Without a second thought, Emma reached out and caught the tear with her knuckle, caressing the woman's cheek as she wiped the remnants away.
Regina flinched away, caught off guard by the touch and not realizing she had been crying, quickly wiping it away herself. "I… I don't know why I just said all of that to you." She made a small sniffle as she tried to compose herself.
"Maybe it's just like you said, we're kindred spirits." Emma offered, remaining still as she watched the brunette's gaze slowly shift to meet hers. "And you know I have your back… I always will. And so will Henry." She cocked her head and gave Regina a reassuring smile.
Feeling that maybe they had had enough talking for one night, Emma got up and brushed herself off. They could discuss whatever happened back at the diner at a later date. "You're not alone anymore, Regina." She held her hand out to the other woman to help her up.
Regina looked up at her, then to the offered hand, before slowly reaching out to take it. Emma helped her to the woman to her feet, giving her a half smile. "Now, maybe we should get back to the party before…" The blonde's words were cut off as she found Regina's lips crashing against hers.
Regina eventually relinquished the kiss and went to pull back but was stopped as Emma grabbed her face tenderly, pulling her back in for another. Regina smiled against the blonde's lips as she wrapped her arms around Emma's waist. They stood there on the beach in each other's arms, with a new year and a renewed hope. They both knew in that moment, they had found someone to love them just as they were.