Out of Our Minds
Summary: An encounter with a tevinter artefact from black emporium causes some trouble for Sihen Hawke, Fenris, Anders, Isabela, Varric and Merrill. Should be about 5 chapters long.
Strong language, some sexual themes.
Inspired by the Farscape episode, in season 1.
Note: This chapter's been edited as some were saying that they were having a hard time figuring out who was speaking.
Chapter 1
Sihen observed the game of Wicked Grace. They were in Fenris' Mansion, due to the Hanged Man being cleaned up after a bloodbath. (Nothing to do with the fact Danarius had set a trap there for Fenris.) She glanced at the elf, his green eyes full of frustration as his pile of coins dwindled. The same could be said for Anders and Varric. Sihen had been like that earlier too when Isabela had cleaned her out. Merrill's tongue was sticking out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated, surprisingly she was doing faring better than Fenris.
Isabela though was leaning back in her chair, looking absolutely smug. Her pile of coins was the largest. From what Sihen could gather, Anders would be next, then Fenris, Merrill. Then Varric would be the last one to bite the dust.
"Rivani, can you just for once not cheat during a card game?" Isabela just snorted and shook her head.
"The day that happens ,Varric, will be when pigs fly, Fenris willingly works as a slave and I support the Templars." Commented Anders as he dealt a new hand. Hawke allowed herself a smirk as Fenris glared at the mage.
"Remind next time we have a card game, we don't invite Isabela. I need the chance to win back my money." Muttered Hawke
Isabela chuckled to herself and took a swig of whisky.
"You all would need to win it back off me first. Especially Hawke and Kitten."
Hawke just sighed and excused herself so she could get another bottle of whisky. Wrapping her cloak tighter she asked:
"Fenris, how on earth do you cope in winter? I think my fingers are going to drop off." Everyone chuckled at her discomfort. Merrill and Fenris seemed to be used to it. Isabela appeared to not be affected one bit. Anders was snug and warm in his jacket. She was the only one shivering her arse off.
" I think somebody's gotten to used to that cosy estate of hers. Haven't you, champion?" Hawke glared at Varric, silently cursing him.
Then a loud knock emanated from the front door. Everyone jumped. Grumbling, Hawke left the room to see who was knocking at midnight. After a while she came back in confused and carrying a wooden crate.
"Fenris, did you order something? Sheesh, this is heavy." She put it down on the bench in front of the fireplace.
"No, I haven't. Who delivered it?"
"It was left in front of the door. Courier mustn't have been bothered to wait around in the cold." Fenris put down his cards as all of his money migrated it's way to a gleeful pirate.
"Might as well open it then." Said Anders as he was evicted from the card game.
" I doubt anyone has a hammer or crowbar." Stated Fenris as Anders came over. Hawke rolled her eyes and picked up her staff. Shoving the bladed end between the box and the lid and putting her weight on it, the lid came off effortsly. Sihen gave an irritated look at the men and said:
"There is such a thing as common sense and resourcefulness."
Fenris delved in, pulling out the straw packing. He stopped suddenly. Anders saw what made Fenris freeze, gently nudging him out of the way, he took it out.
A small orb, made of black crystal, covered in Arcanum writing.
Somehow, when it come out the room became even more colder.
"It looks Tevinter. Right I think I'm going to put it back in." Anders was clearly uncomfortable handling it, but that didn't stop Isabela striding over and plucking it out of his hands.
"Ohh, It's very pretty, just like your eyes Fenris." She dodged as Anders tried to grab it off her.
"Isabela… don't mess around with it, That thing is setting off alarm bells." Said Anders, panicked.
Isabela just laughed, Hawke noticed her cheeks were flush with drink. Everyone's hearts skipped a few beats as the pirate tossed it up in the air.
"Isabela don't. Maker, I hate it when you're drunk." Scowled Hawke as Isabela dodged Merrill, stopping only to hold it tauntingly over Varric's head, just out of his reach.
"Rivani! For all we know it's dangerous, give it back to Blondie!"
Yelled the dwarf as Isabela was backed into a corner by the others. She giggled uncontrollably.
"Okay I'll give it back, any good at catching Anders?" Anders brow furrowed in confusion, then he realised what was about to happen. Isabela flung it over his head as it sailed across the room Fenris tried to catch it in mid-jump, but only succeeded in landing on his face.
It hit the floor with a sharp clink.
Everyone held their breath as it glowed a dark green and from it erupted a shockwave, forcing everyone into blackness…
Hawke awoke to a thumping headache.
I am going to kill Isabela she thought to herself.
They were still in Fenris' Mansion, but it appears she was the first to awaken. Groaning she sat up and rubbed her face.
Suddenly she stopped as her hands ran over her chin. Was that stubble? And her chin wasn't that pointy… Then she looked down at her clothing. Knee high boots, feather pauldrons. Then there was some groaning and muttering as Fenris sat up in front of her and to the side a woman with flaming red hair, tied back in a bun, gold eyes and pale skin. Clad in leather mage armour and a ragged cloak.
She was looking at herself…
At the same time her and Fenris screamed…
Yes I know Fenris screaming, very unlikely, but I'm sure you'll figure it out before the next chapter