Unaware / She Forgets Sometimes
"The sky's beautiful today too. "
And I'll say it again if I have to because it really was. Maybe if it had been a different time, a different place, I would be skipping on the sidewalk. But it's not and I'm nowhere near childishly walking. This wasn't just Midgar, this was Edge. Not everything was as stunning as the sky was. The city's not really the inspiring blue like hope or the blue that makes you feel free and cool rather, it's the kind of blue that just makes everyone feel terrible. That's what it is, or at least, was. I could never bring myself to skip out here but I couldn't help but add a spring to my steps.
This place has seen better days and I'm telling you, these are those days. Before the attack of the Remnants, before the fall of Meteor, before everything had happened, these streets had never seen daylight. Now it's breathing in it. Yes, things may look grim but not totally hopeless. If you ask me, I'd say it doesn't just look brighter here; it looks better.
"Strange, I thought I had enough stock." I wondered out loud. Today I'll be going to buy some unexpected grocery items. I made sure to buy enough each time but surprisingly, a lot of our supplies were out yesterday as if someone broke into our house and decided to eat them all. Well, maybe not just one person. Maybe it was two inexhaustible kids and an adult close to my age…
I stifled my own giggle at that. I guess I can't expect them to eat the same amount their whole lives. They're still growing after all. I couldn't help but smile.
As I made a beeline for the store I noticed a good amount of streamers along the way. Maybe they're having a sale again. The idea wasn't too foreign. There was really no need to advertise sales for they always did reach ears because of the economic instability of the community and its people. However, I find it a little bit comforting that they still do. It's sort of a semblance of a normal city, a normal market and maybe, a normal life.
I think I did miss the memo because now I'm sure it was a sale. People were bustling in and out of the shop with bags of items. There were a lot of faces I couldn't recognize and some were familiar. But there was this one that easily stuck out and caught my attention. He always has.
"Cloud?" I asked, a bit shocked. I'm pretty sure I blinked a few times just in case. There he was, golden spiky hair and all, just casually standing by Fenrir as if he was always there during my past visits to the store. "You're here. I thought you went out to work." Was he waiting for me?
"The kids told me to bring you back." Straight to the point. Same old Cloud.
"The kids?" I couldn't help but sound concerned even though that was already bordering fear. Cloud wouldn't be here without a good reason, or a bad one depending on how you look at it. "Did something happen?"
"No…" He shook his head. He didn't look at me but I saw he had a blank face on. "But something will happen."
"Huh?"
"You'll understand when we get home." He replied cryptically. No explanations whatsoever. He was already on his prized bike. There was just something off today. I just hope it's not something serious or bad.
"Alright." The children needed me. I need myself to get my act together. The sooner we go home, the sooner I'll see them and the sooner my fears would be proven wrong, I hope. In one swift motion, I was already on his motorcycle and in the next moment, the engine roared to life. The shopping list was long forgotten in the back of my mind. "Let's go."
It hasn't been that long, only seconds at least and minutes at most but the ride definitely felt it took longer than it should have. A part of me was scared of what I might find. A worst case scenario flashes every now and then but I'm trying hard to keep them at bay. My arms hugged tighter unconsciously. Cloud's been quiet the whole ride. That's normal for him. It was a reassuring idea. If Cloud wasn't as panicked as I am in my mind then that meant it wasn't anything bad.
Then what could it be?
The rushing wind was cold as it swept through my face. I didn't want to enjoy it, not now. I buried my face on Cloud's strong back. I felt a firm hand squeeze my arm for a moment. Then it was gone. I sighed.
"Thanks." I barely whispered. Even I couldn't hear myself and yet I felt that he did. In fact, I think, no, I know he's smiling comfortingly at me- for me. I wanted to see for myself if I was right but I couldn't. It's the children's that I wanted to check on first. And then maybe after, I'd smile myself too.
The bar was empty. There were no patrons, no burglars and most importantly, no children. It wasn't menacing but it wasn't a pretty sight at all, at least to me. I almost frantically run upstairs when I hear a very familiar shriek.
"Tifa!" And I could finally breathe. Marlene had tackled me from behind the counter with a shy Denzel following behind. Thank goodness nothing had happened to them. A wave of relief washed over me.
"What were you two doing back there?" Now that I know they're safe, I was curious. "Did you two send Cloud to get me?" They both nodded innocently. I wonder- "Why?"
"In here." Denzel was the one to lead and we all went into the dining room, even Cloud. The table had already been set and in the middle was a prepared meal. I was surprised.
"Did you do all this?" I asked tenderly.
"Yup! And look, we made spaghetti!" Marlene twirled happily.
"It was all we knew to cook." Denzel added sheepishly.
"And you were in this too?" I turned to Cloud disbelievingly whose face was still deadpan.
"A little." A ghost of a smile played on the edges of his lips. "I only did the pasta, they had the bigger job: making sauce." He affectionately ruffled their crowns of hair.
"But why?"
"You don't like it?"
"No, no, I love it. It's just that- why?"
"What do you mean why?"
"I mean, my birthday was two weeks ago. Is this still about that?" I didn't want them to get the wrong idea. I really do appreciate the effort but I didn't want them to tire themselves over me. No matter how endearing it was, I wanted them enjoy the day just much as I would. "Because I thought I made it clear that I really don't need any fancy celebrations. I'm happy the most with my family."
"You think too little of yourself, Teef." Cloud had then lovingly kissed me on my forehead. The warmth was already spreading throughout me. "And no, it's not about your birthday… but something just as special."
"What? What day is it today?" I spoke softly. I saw them look at each other first and then nodded. It was as if they were counting inside their heads. And then-
"Happy Mother's Day, Tifa!" I was truly stunned. All of a sudden, I was overflowing with so many emotions. I couldn't keep them all bottled inside any longer.
"Sh-She's crying!" I was?
"Oh no! Did we do something wrong?" No, it's actually the opposite.
"You know, if you really don't want it we could just clean up and forget about it." I want this; just give me second to compose.
I hugged them all. "Thank you." I said it again and again. "Thank you… Thank you…" I couldn't think of anything else to say.
It's just that, I've lost my mother when I was so young that I'd completely forgotten about the holiday altogether as the years went by. I guess I've been missing out on a lot of dates. However, now that I remember, I'm starting to reminiscence about my own mother as well. The one who played the piano and encouraged me that I could too, the one who kissed my wounds to make them feel better, and the one mother in the world that I had loved ever so great but she still loved me more. I never actually thought about it but I really miss her. So I give her a silent prayer of greeting and thanks.
I'm grateful for the family I have now. I love each and every one of them. There were a lot of things that were coming into my mind at that moment but the last one really made me feel light and warm inside.
I'm already a mother in their eyes.
"I think we should eat first. I really want to eat spaghetti right now."
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Shinra-ex-SOLDIER
You've been surviving without one all this time but now it's different.
Happy Mother's Day, no one could ever ask for a better parent.