Wow this is my first Naruto fanfiction in...three...four years? Damn. Well I guess I can call myself a newbie again since the stories I wrote four years ago when I first attempted writing fanfiction were crappy ahaha...
This story was spawned based on that one line Zetsu said to Obito: "Kakashi didn't see anything. When reinforcements came, he was screaming who killed the enemy." Like that wasn't asking for a story to be written about Kakashi's unstable mind?
This is dedicated to my boyfriend who is a Narutard too. Today is our 2nd anniversary. But then again gifting someone with seven thousand words of angst isn't really sending off good vibes OTL but he'll read this so hey! Enjoy the super long angst! Love you!
Warnings: Blood, gore, language.
Sometimes, Minato despised the shinobi system.
He glanced up and swallowed bitterly at the darken skies.
Sending a thirteen year old to do a mission that should be classified as S-ranked was not humane.
It was out of sheer luck, he ran into Jiraiya on the way out of the gates.
He watched the back of the larger man as they dodged through the forests, Tsunade closed to his side.
He was surprised when the white haired Sannin announced he was coming along. He had just come back from a mission with the other two of the Legendary Three and was already prepared to leave again.
After some prompting, Tsunade reluctantly agreed to come along as medical back-up. Orochimaru had nodded and disappeared without a sound. Minato was slightly grateful for that, he didn't know if he could've handled himself professionally if all three Sannin were present.
He flinched when he heard the dogs whine loudly.
"What's wrong?" He asked, coming to a stop on a branch.
"They're...sick." The ANBU Cat said the last word with a hint of uncertainty.
The Yellow Flash raised an eyebrow and watched the three ninken. They were lying on their sides, paws on their noses, looking nauseous.
"Sick?" Tsunade frowned, kneeling by their sides, chakra glowing at her fingers.
"It's blood." The group snapped their attention to Jiraiya.
The man's face was stern and creased with worry.
"Blood?" Minato echoed.
"Lots of it...we're close." He pointed to his nose, emotions flickering through his eyes for a fleeting moment before disappearing behind a mask.
Everyone else stopped to actually sniff at the suffocating air for a second, blanching when they finally caught whiff of the strong iron in the atmosphere.
"Shit." He heard several ANBU murmur similarly under their breath before they continued to move, at a slightly quicker tempo than before.
Minato let his thoughts drift as he got into a comfortable yet tense pace.
He was worried for his remaining two students. That was an obvious given.
Rin...beautiful and innocent Rin. Always the peacemaker and optimistic one.
The only one keeping Kakashi...
Speaking of Kakashi...he bit his lip and added a bit more chakra to his step.
The look on the young teen's face when he received his mission. How he had wished so hard to run up to the boy and hug him tight, telling him it was going to okay.
He clenched his fists. How he had wished so damn hard to tell the council where they could shove their mission scrolls.
He could see a clearing up ahead and his breath quivered.
The smell was revolting.
When they reached the field, he immediately turned around and collapsed, vomiting.
To his horror, his knees soaked up the congealing blood and he vomited some more.
"What...the...fuck..." He choked on some more bile, wiping his lips in shame at his embarrassing display of weakness.
He could see the squad of ANBU standing perfectly still like statues, save for the very obvious shoulders trembling. In fear, in rage, in disgust, Minato didn't know and he couldn't care less. He only had one thing in his mind.
His students.
"Find them! Find them right now!" He hated how his voice cracked but these were his students, damn it. His students lying somewhere in this hellhole and he wanted them found.
Alive or not, he didn't even want to think about it.
The ANBU started at his frenzied demeanor and nodded before scattering, searching with a hidden apprehension.
"Damn it damn it damn it damn it..." He kept cursing under his breath, voice trembling as he paced around, unconsciously avoiding the pools of blood, but it was hard when almost every spot of the ground was soaked in red. He wished he had boots.
"Minato." He paused when he nearly walked into the older man's broad chest.
He stopped, only now realizing he was seconds from hyperventilating and that Tsunade was also standing next to Jiraiya, both staring at him in concern.
"J-Jiraiya-sensei...I...I damn it!" He turned away with a snarl, a gloved hand covering his mouth to contain a dry sob in.
He would not cry.
Not yet.
"We'll find them." Jiraiya said, curt and without emotion.
"...Yes." Was all he could say before he too, headed deeper into the lakes of death.
It was sickening.
He vomited over and over until even his stomach wouldn't grace him with bile to throw up.
The stench of blood and rotting guts was overwhelming. He stepped in pools of warm scarlet constantly and by now, his sandals were drenched and he could feel dry blood caking his feet and between his toes. He found himself stumbling with dizzy spells every now and then, collapsing to his knees. It was only after five minutes of stumbling around like a drunkard did he realize that both Jiraiya and Tsunade were trailing behind him, fighting the urge to run over every time he stumbled over an arm or a pile of entrails.
"I'm...so sorry Jiraiya-sensei, Tsunade-sama. For you to see me like this…." He apologized lamely, feeling as pathetic as he probably looked.
"They're your students, as you are mine." Jiraiya shot him a small grin and Tsunade only nodded her head.
He returned it briefly before doubling over and retching over a mangled carcass.
"Minato-san!" He had spent the last ten minutes sitting next to a pile of limbs feeling like utter shit while Jiraiya stood over him. When he heard his name through the cloud of spinning thoughts, he shot up from where he sat, stumbling slightly,
"Easy! Easy..." Jiraiya muttered, steadying him.
He ignored his teacher's concern and looked around frantically for where the ANBU's voice had come from.
"We found them!"
Each member of the squad, including the Sannins had been given one of his special kunais. And with that, he teleported himself in haste.
The four ANBU twitched, hands lightly touching their katanas when he materialized in front of them but did nothing else.
He nearly collapsed again at the sight before him.
"Kakashi!" He yelled, falling to his knees anyways to look over his student.
He was lying in a lake of blood that was slowly becoming thick and sticky.
He lifted shaking arms and gently pulled the boy up, wincing at the sound of blood dripping back down to the revolting puddle of gore.
Kakashi's back was drenched. The leather straps a dark ruby and his silver hair dyed scarlet, slowly turning black. Even his dark clothing had a red tint to it.
"Oh Kashi..." He whispered the adorable nickname he had long stopped using.
He hesitated before putting his shaking hand on the boy's neck.
He nearly started sobbing in relief when he felt the soft thudding of a beating heart.
"Thank god." He whispered to whatever deity was listening and held the boy close to his chest.
One. He had saved one.
He glanced to his left and tears did start falling then.
Rin.
Sweet and beautiful Rin.
A hole in her chest.
Kakashi's right arm was covered in gore, dry blood under his fingernails.
"Oh Kashi..." He repeated, holding the boy even closer.
He was so sorry.
He felt the boy twitch in his arms and let him go when he saw him drifting back to the land of consciousness.
"W-wha..." The boy muttered softly, as one eye opened, clouded with exhaustion and confusion.
"Kakashi..." He said softly.
Bad move.
The thirteen year old immediately snapped into attention, his left eye opening as well.
For a second, Minato thought he saw a pinwheel in midst the red iris before it snapped back to...did the boy have three tomoes before?
He didn't have any more time to observe because in the next second, he heard the sound of a crackling energy and moved.
"Kakashi! Stop! Stop! Calm down it's me!" He grabbed the boy's wrist just before it could impale itself into his chest. His hands twitching in pain as the lightening natured chakra tingled his nerves.
"Let go! Let go!" He winced at the hysterical tone in the boy's voice. His mismatched eyes were wide and frantic, seeing his sensei but at the same time seeing miles beyond.
"Kakashi please!" He felt his voice cracking as he pleaded the boy to snap out of it and look at him for real.
He could feel the ANBU behind him tense up, katanas in hand, ready to subdue the boy.
Kakashi wouldn't stop. The raikiri in his trembling hand dispelled, unable to keep sustaining with the little chakra he had left. His left eye slipping shut.
But that didn't discourage him.
He reached for a kunai and started lashing out blindly.
Minato's heart nearly broke as he dodged the swipes, trying to grab the boy's hands to no avail.
The thirteen year old continued slashing, quietly muttering a mantra consisting of 'You killed her you killed her you killed her' before it slowly derailed to 'I killed her I killed her I killed her'.
"Kakashi! Please stop!" He finally wrapped his hands around those tiny wrists again, screaming.
"I killed her! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry...Obito." The boy's eyes looked haunted, trapped in some nightmare.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..." The screams grew more hysterical and high pitched.
And then Minato couldn't take it anymore.
"KAKASHI!" He shouted and swung his hand down hard on the boy's masked cheek.
It made a loud slapping sound that echoed through the dark clearing.
The boy's head snapped to the side and he stopped moving for a second, his eyes wide.
The ANBU surrounding the two took in a collective sharp intake of breath.
Minato blinked and stared at his trembling hand. A piece of torn fabric from the boy's mask stuck to the metal plating of his glove.
D-did he just...
"Shit, Kashi I-I didn't mean-" He stammered as he watched the boy's trembling arm slowly rise to caress the sharp, red welt that was starting to show across his face.
Kakashi turned slowly to look at him. To actually look at him.
"...Minato...sensei?" The voice was so soft...so filled with fear...so young.
He took a deep breath and nodded, more tears bleeding from his eyes.
"Yes, Kashi...it's me."
Dozens of different emotions flickered through the boy's one eye, until it finally settled for panic.
He glanced around and immediately blanched, he started shaking again.
"W-wha..." He saw the boy choke on his words as the horrid smell finally reached him.
He turned around, pulling the mask down and retched bile into the pool of blood he sat in. His arms trembling, threatening to wobble and leave him to collapse face first into the crimson.
"Kakashi, it's oka-"
"WHO DID IT?" He was cut off by the boy's sudden scream.
"W-what?"
The boy whirled around, mask back on his face, his eyes feral and murderous.
"WHO KILLED THE ENEMY?" He slammed his gloved hands into the puddle of blood, splashing the gore everywhere. His voice was hoarse and cracking.
"Kakashi please-"
"WHO THE FUCK DID THIS?" The boy snarled, looking around the clearing, disgust and fear shining in his eye.
Minato flinched, Kakashi was usually so reserved and polite. To resort to swearing meant something terrible.
"Kakashi calm down."
"Who killed them? I was to kill them! I'll kill them. I'll kill them! It was my mission! " His expression shifted to accusation and his entire frame trembled with anger, eye shining with bloodlust.
"Your mission was to save Rin-" He bit his lip the second those words left his mouth.
He didn't even think that Kakashi's single eye was capable of enlarging anymore.
"Rin..."
"Oh god, Kakashi I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
Kakashi turned his head and visibly swayed as he saw Rin's body, a gaping hole in her chest.
"Rin...oh god...I...I didn't complete my mission...I failed...I failed I failed. I couldn't save her...I...I killed her...shit...damn it...I...I-" He lifted his trembling hands from the puddle of blood and stared at them in sheer terror.
"Kakashi, it's not your fault-" He started to say but the boy turned and glared at him heatedly.
"Not my fault? I KILLED her! I stuck my hand through her heart like this!" He clearly wasn't thinking straight as he made three hand signs and lightning started to crackle again, both eyes open.
"Stop Kakashi! You're wasting your-"
Suddenly the concentrated energy in his hand dispelled and the boy hunched over with a wretched cry, his bloody hands clutching his left eye.
"Kakashi?!" He heard his own voice tremble with uncertainty as he lifted his hands, not sure what to do in order to stop the boy's suffering.
"Step aside." He jumped and saw Tsunade standing beside him. He didn't even notice the two Sannins showing up.
He did as he was told and stumbled to his feet. Jiraiya placed a large hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
"Kakashi...look at me." Tsunade's voice was soft and gentle, almost like she was singing a song. She gently pried the boy's shaking hands away from the eye.
If she was shocked at the sight of the blood streaming from the closed sharingan eye, she didn't show it.
"I need you to take deep breaths. You're breathing very fast right now. That's not good, okay? You need to slow down, okay buddy?" She continued in the same motherly voice, guiding her glowing hand over any injuries she saw while the other one settled for combing through the boy's damp silver hair.
The Hatake nodded slightly, his breathing slowly growing less erratic and he leaned into the soft ministrations.
As she focused on his wounds and breathing, the rest of the squad began to survey the area under a critical eye.
They had noticed the terrifying amount of blood and body parts strewn around but the weapon used was nowhere in sight.
"Gaping holes in the body, limbs torn apart, impalement...what could've done this?" Mouse muttered under his breath as he picked up a mask belonging to the Hidden Mist.
"Something strong as hell." Bear nudged a headless body with his foot.
"This...this is sick." Fox had his hands clenched tightly into fists.
"The dogs..." Cat nodded at the three ninken that we're sniffing at corpses, whining loudly at the horrid stench that they smelled a thousand times stronger than humans.
"We need to leave." Jiraiya said solemnly, watching his student stare at the silver haired boy without blinking.
The ANBU nodded silently, emotions hidden once again as they rolled up their report scrolls.
"Tsunade." Jiraiya called out as he walked back to the other Sannin, his sandals squishing in the puddles.
She turned and gave them a nod. Kakashi was in her arms and thankfully unconscious. Minato looked away, his hands clenched.
"How is he?" He asked in a whisper.
"He completely depleted his chakra and stamina. When he opened his sharingan again, the sudden drain was.…he's… he's in mild shock. It would be ideal to get him back to Konoha immediately." She ran her fingers through his soft hair absentmindedly, face scrunched up with worry.
Jiraiya nodded, kneeling down to ruffle the boy's hair as well before turning to the ANBU squad.
"Make sure Rin's body is transported back to Konoha safely…we need to find out what the hell happened here."
The elite ninja nodded and three of them moved silently to the corpse of the girl.
"Minato-san." The Yellow Flash tilted his head in acknowledgment and the ANBU Fox continued.
"Do you believe Kakashi did this?"
There was a moment of dead silence.
Jiraiya and Tsunade both whirled around to stare at the ANBU with disbelief in their eyes.
Minato was much less reserved.
"What the FUCK is wrong with you?!" He snarled hideously and appeared in front of the other man as fast as his namesake implied. He grabbed the man by his armored vest and was seconds away from tearing out his throat.
How DARE he imply such a thing? That his student, that Kakashi, HIS little Kakashi was responsible for this massacre. He ought to kill this bastard for-
"Minato."
His hands froze, inches away from his weapon's pouch as Jiraiya's warning tone made him shudder.
"Sorry." He let out a breath and dropped the man, turning away.
"With all due respect, it is always a possibility Minato-san." The Fox's emotionless voice sounded again and Minato's fingers twitched again.
He looked around the battlefield, forcing himself to keep the bile down.
He wanted to immediately scream and throw a tantrum like a teenager again. To act like the brat he was being only a mere minute ago. To scream with outright confidence that Kakashi would never do something like this. He would never be-
The boy whirled around, mask back on his face, his eyes feral and murderous.
He shuddered and opened his mouth-
"Who killed them? I was to kill them! I'll kill them. I'll kill them!"
And he closed his mouth, head hung low with shame.
He couldn't.
He couldn't guarantee it.
He wanted to, god how he wanted to wish that Kakashi was still the young boy he remembered seeing so many years ago. How he hoped to whatever deity listening that Kakashi did not…did not….
"He didn't….he couldn't have. He lacks the stamina and chakra and…." Utter inhumanness "…military prowess to do this…." Revolting, disgusting, terrifying, cold-blooded, fucking abomination. "….crime."
The ANBU merely nodded and joined the other three in preparing Rin for transport.
When Rin was secured on a gurney carried by the ANBU squad, Kakashi was carried safely in Jiraiya's arms and Minato was deemed steady enough for travel, the group left the bloody clearing, never looking back.
"Why can't I see Kakashi?" Guy was yelling indignantly in the Spartan hospital halls and Minato was rubbing the bridge of his nose irritably about to reach the end of his rope.
"He needs rest."
We all do.
"Well, I won't bother his youthful rest, but everyone is all worried about him and-"
"Guy, please…." He whispered, his eyes covered by his hand. He was at the end of his rope, hanging precariously over a metaphorical cliff.
The boy stopped speaking immediately and studied the young adult's trembling frame. He knew he looked like shit. His entire body was covered in gore and his sandals were leaving bloody footprints everywhere. But he honestly didn't care anymore.
"…..I'll tell them Kakashi needs rest….." The boy bowed slightly before turning to leave the hospital. He paused briefly and glanced back.
"Minato-sensei….my condolences…Rin-san was…an extraordinary young woman." Tears were gathering at the usually chipper boy's eyes and he left without saying another word.
Minato punched a wall.
"You're finally back! How did your mission go-WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?" Kushina turned away from the sink with a smile only to stop in horror at the sight of her husband.
She dropped the spatula she was holding and rushed to his side just as he collapsed to his knees.
"…Minato?" She whispered as he reached up and wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face into her apron. She narrowed her eyes at the blood clinging to his clothes and the stench of blood and death in the air.
"What happened?" She prompted softly, running a hand through his spiky blonde hair.
"She's dead." His response was muffled as his voice vibrated on her stomach. Her hand stopped and she took a sharp breath.
"Rin?" She bit her quivering lip.
All she received was a muffled sob.
"Oh Minato...I'm so sorry." She whispered and hugged him tight. Rin had been a wonderful young lady. Always so kind and cheerful. She would've definitely become an excellent medical ninja.
"That's not even it." Minato was clutching her like a lifeline. She tensed again.
"What..."
"K-kakashi..." He tightened his grip and Kushina's blood ran cold.
"K-kashi-kun? W-wha-is he okay?" Her heart pounded furiously as she feared for the boy's life. She and Minato had watched him grow up the past few years. She had seen the boy laugh, she had seen him throw childish tantrums, she had seen him lock himself in his apartment room for weeks after Obito's death. She cared for that boy as much as she would care for her own child.
"He was there with her, Kushina. H-he was the one that killed her. The medical team said the Sanbi was...the Sanbi...they made her the jinchuuriki."
She gasped under her breath and tears began to form.
"S-she must've knew they planned to use her. She must've asked Kakashi to kill her. Kushina, there was a hole in her chest." His voice was shaking and Kushina felt her tears fall.
They stayed in the kitchen for several hours. Both mourning for the lost of a precious girl and the complete loss of a young boy's innocence.
"I'm sorry..." Minato finally whispered with a shudder.
"It's alright...do you want to talk about it anymore?" She whispered, her hands still running through his hair.
He shook his head defiantly.
"N-no, I-I need a distraction from this...please." His voice cracked as he tightened his grip again.
She nodded and glanced at the clock.
"Okay, I'll give you a distraction." She smiled sadly and prompted him to stand.
He stumbled to his feet and with her help, the couple hobbled to their bedroom.
The next morning, he made his way to the hospital.
He had left before Kushina woke. He selfishly decided he never wanted to talk about this again. It made him lose control of his emotions too easily.
"Jiraiya-sensei." He greeted when he entered the hospital and saw the Sannin at the reception desk.
"Minato." The older man gave him a small grin before it morphed to a frown.
"I was just about to visit the brat, coming?"
The Yellow Flash glanced at the ground uneasily before nodding.
"And how is my favorite little brat, Tsunade?" Jiraiya entered Kakashi's room, grinning with an overly forced cheer as Minato trailed behind.
Tsunade turned, clipboard in hand and frown in place. She caught Jiraiya's eye and shook her head silently.
The two men could now see that Tsunade wasn't over exaggerating.
Kakashi sat on the hospital bed, arms wrapped around his legs, staring off into space, left eye bandaged tightly. His hair still had a pinkish tint to it, the blood not completely washed off.
"He refused to speak to ANBU, Lord Third and even me." Tsunade shook her head again and moved to ruffle the boy's hair. He let her do so, but didn't react otherwise.
"Kakashi, your sensei and Jiraiya are here to see you. If you need anything, just call for me." She smiled gently and left the room. Jiraiya and Minato gave each a worried glance before walking over to the bed.
"Hey there, brat. Why won't you speak to us? The ANBU are a stick in the ass and the hokage's an old fart but Tsunade's got such a nice rack, you missed out big time, buddy!" Jiraiya grinned and sat himself down on a chair beside the bed and Minato awkwardly moved to stand next to the Sannin.
The boy didn't reply and Jiraiya sighed, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder.
"Kid, we're worried about you. Talk to us...we can help." He said sternly and Kakashi continued staring at the wall.
After a few minutes, the boy turned to look at him warily.
"She told me to kill her."
The two men tensed as they finally heard the boy speak. The voice was still hoarse from all the screaming yesterday. And it sounded so god damn tired.
"I said no. I couldn't do that. I wouldn't do that." He rested his chin on his knees and stared at the bed sheets.
"She said they were planning to release her all along. They wanted for her to return to Konoha and then release the Sanbi. She told me to ruin that plan by killing her." His arms trembling as he gripping his legs and curled in on himself even more.
Minato's heart ached. He looked...so small...so vulnerable.
"I told her I would find another way. A way that didn't involved killing her." He swallowed loudly and closed his one eye.
"We were surrounded. I...I was using the lightning cutter. I was about to strike and...and..." He choked on his words and his face was growing paler.
"She jumped in front and-" He was breathing heavily, staring at his shaking hand in horror.
"I killed her." His voice was nothing but a horrified whisper.
Both Jiraiya and Minato were pale as well. They had no idea that...
"Kakashi, I -" And at that moment four ANBU appeared in the room.
"What the hell?" Jiraiya swore and stood from his seat. Minato's hand was on his weapons pouch, eyes narrowed.
"Jiraiya-sama, Minato-san, we thank you for your help. But we will ask you to leave for now." The rabbit masked one spoke, motioning to the door.
Kakashi looked confused for a second before panic settled into his eye and then anger followed.
He turned to glare at Jiraiya and Minato.
"Y-you lied!" He choked out as tears gathered, betrayal written all over his face.
"Kakashi, no we-"
"You were trying to interrogate me!" He let out a sob.
"Kakashi-"
"GET OUT!" He screeched, hands covering his ears, his eye clenched shut.
"Kakashi please-"
"GET OUT GET OUT!" The boy cried again.
"If you would please." The Rabbit spoke again, unfazed.
Jiraiya swore at the masked men, giving Kakashi's shaking form one last glance before storming out with Minato trailing behind.
"What the fuck, old man?" Jiraiya stormed into the council room, his glare zeroing in on the Third, Minato following him in, his eyes wide in disbelief.
All eyes turned to the two. The Fire Daimyo covering his mouth with his fan in shock at the vulgar word.
"Jiraiya, for what reason are you barging into a confidential meeting?" Homura reprimanded with a frown.
"Hatake Kakashi." Jiraiya snarled out and watched each member at the table tense. The Third gave him a hard look.
"What about him?" Koharu challenged.
"The ANBU, what the hell is up with that?"
"He is the sole witness to this ordeal and must be interrogated for details." Danzo spoke up.
"Bullshit, the medical team already deduced what happened!"
"We need it from his lips." A council member spoke, cowering slightly when Jiraiya's glare was focused on him.
"And..." All eyes were now focused on Fugaku.
"And what?" Jiraiya hissed, crossing his arms.
The Uchiha leader turned to regard him coolly.
"The mangekyō sharingan. It awakens when a person close to a sharingan user dies by the user's hands."
At that, Jiraiya froze. Minato also cursed under his breath. They hadn't even thought about that possibility.
"The Uchiha clan needs to confirm if Uchiha Obito's mangekyō has awakened or not. The ANBU are there to make that confirmation." Fugaku glared back and the Sannin wisely refrained from arguing.
"And if it has?" All eyes snapped to watch Minato, who stood his ground and glared back coolly.
"We will take precautions to ensure the mangekyō is in capable hands." Fugaku merely blinked, unimpressed.
Minato nodded and stepped back again, willing himself to keep from attack every member at the table.
"Before we were so rudely interrupted..." Homura gave the Sannin a pointed look, which he returned with a light scoff.
"The massacre of the Mist shinobi will go down as the work of Hatake Kakashi."
"WHAT?" Minato snarled, respect be screwed.
The council looked up again.
"Is there a problem, Namikaze Minato-san?" Koharu tilted her head and the Yellow Flash literally started to seethe.
"You all know that Kakashi is incapable of performing such a thing! His chakra levels won't allow it!"
"Shinobi can find hidden strength in the face of anger." Danzo smirked and Minato felt the need to stab something.
"That's irrelevant! He didn't do it!"
"It does not matter, Minato-san. The Mist is looking for someone to blame and we cannot pin it on a rogue ninja we have never seen." Fugaku folded his arms calmly.
"So you're going to let Kakashi be the scapegoat?" He whispered in disbelief.
"Well, as I see it, this is the perfect opportunity for him to gain a reputation. Imagine it, a young Konohagakure shinobi, singlehandedly slaughtering an entire platoon of elite Mist soldiers. Enough red on his ledger to become a legend in one night." Danzo waved his hand in the air as if forming the macabre image for them all to see.
"He's thirteen..." Minato lost all the anger in his voice as he stumbled back slightly.
"They can't stay young forever. We're in an age of war. It would be best if you cease this naïveté soon, Minato-san."
"Hmm...so we are all in agreement that the Mist Massacre is the doing of Hatake Kakashi?" The Fire Daimyo smiled, shutting his fan with a click.
Jiraiya pulled the stunned Minato out of the conference room as a chorus of 'yes's echoed through the halls.
Kakashi was deemed stable enough to be discharged after two weeks.
The Uchiha Clan also confirmed that Obito's sharingan did not seem to have awakened the mangekyō yet and agreed to fall back for the time being.
And Minato...
He had no idea what the fuck he was doing.
After the conference ordeal, he took any and every mission available and disappeared from the village for two months, doing espionage, assassinations and front line battles.
Soon the war ended and he found himself out of excuses to hide.
"So this is where you are. I was convinced you shriveled up in a hole and died, you dumbass." He felt the Sannin's large hand on his shoulder and sipped from his cup without looking up.
"Mind if I join you?"
The Sannin sat down before he could answer so he just shrugged, pouring himself another cup.
"Okayyy, no more for you." The older man swiped the bottle from his fingers and he scowled.
"You're pathetic." Jiraiya finally said after watching his student sip from the same cup of sake for ten minutes.
"I know." He replied curtly, sipping again.
The cup was knocked from his hand and shattered on the ground with a loud crack.
The bartender rushed over and was quickly shooed away by the large bill Jiraiya waves under his nose, his eyes never leaving Minato.
"And that's what makes you even more pathetic, you lousy brat."
Minato flinched and stared at the ground. The Sannin hadn't called him a brat since he was a teen.
"I...don't know what to do anymore, sensei." He groaned, rubbing his eyes.
"I'm so tired of everything..." He sighed and looked out the window of the bar, watching life go on. All these normal people with their normal lives. How he envied to be one of them.
"He misses you, ya know."
He looked back at Jiraiya with a raised eyebrow.
"He?"
"Kakashi."
Oh.
Kakashi did.
"Really now? The last time I saw him, I got the impression that he never wants to see my face ever again." He chuckled weakly, burying his face in his arms.
"He was emotionally compromised back then. He just lost his best friend months ago and now he lost the only girl he ever cared for." Jiraiya blinked, drilling holes on the top of Minato's head with his sharp eyes.
"And then he lost you."
"What are you talking about, Jiraiya-sensei, I'm alive and-"
"You left him, Minato. When he needed you most." The Sannin's voice was thick with emotion and Minato lifted his head to stare back.
"Oh..." Because oh is right. He had didn't he? He was the only living member of their old team left. The only one Kakashi had to count on being there for him. Being there to tell him everything was going to be okay. And he...and he had left. He had betrayed his only student's trust. He left for his own selfish reasons and now Kakashi is-
"How is he?" He blurted out suddenly.
"I-is he eating well? Is he training? Is he talking to Guy? Is he sparring with the others? Is he smiling? Is he-" Is he still the same Kashi I knew?
Jiraiya continued frowning at him, watching the despair fleeting across the younger man's face.
"I barely see him eat anymore. He is training, but by himself. He hasn't spoken with any of his friends since he came back. No, he hasn't smiled." No, no he isn't.
Minato's face fell and he groaned again.
"I would punch you right now if you didn't look like a pile of pitiful shit." Jiraiya raised an eyebrow, staring down at the man.
"You should anyways. I deserve it." Minato scoffed and looked up tiredly.
The Sannin's hard gaze softened slightly and he took a deep breath.
"Why did you up and leave, kid?"
Minato blinked and thought back to why he suddenly decided to leave...to run away...
"I...was afraid..."
"...Of?"
His lips quivered and he quickly shielded his shameful tears gathering at the corner of his eyes with his hands.
"Of failing. I...wasn't there for the Kannabi Bridge mission. Just maybe...just maybe if I was, Obito would be-" He choked down a sob.
"And then this time, I swore to Kakashi and Rin that I would be there this time. There won't be a repeat of that mission ever again...I-I should have argued with the hokage more. I should have told those bastards to take my mission and shove it up their asses and went after my students. I-I should've..." Protected them. He trailed off, finishing the sentence in his head as he couldn't have out loud.
"I guess I was selfish. I just didn't want to see the disappointment on Kakashi's face when he realizes I failed to keep my promise to him." He laughed in between tears.
"I'm a terrible sensei." He continued laughing softly as more tears streamed from his eyes.
"He would be more disappointed if you kept running away." Jiraiya's hand was on his shoulder again, squeezing slightly.
"...What should I do, Jiraiya-sensei? How can I make this right?" He whispered.
The older man suddenly lifted him out of his seat by the vest, dangling him several inches off the floor.
"You? You need to get your shit together, brat. You need to get your sorry little butt back to your wife right now, buy her a box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers, fuck, anything! And you apologize to her for scaring her half to death for the past two months. Do the laundry that you always find an excuse not to! Make dinner, you little dastardly good cook. Give her a night she'll never forget!" Minato was flushing fifty shades of red now, trying desperately to get out of the man's grip and damn it Jiraiya was strong.
"J-Jiraiya-sensei we're in publ-"
"And then you have to find your student and talk to him." Jiraiya's tone grew serious again as he lowered the younger man.
"Because you're all he has left."
And with that, the Sannin dropped a bill on the bar counter and disappeared from the village once again.
Minato heeded his teacher's advice and bought Kushina a box of truffles, a bouquet and made her a cake.
When she got home that night and saw him standing there, she slapped him across the face, bawled her eyes out and slapped him again.
Then they proceeded to have a night they will never forget.
He blushed about it now as he walked down the village streets.
He couldn't decide whether it was worse to follow the love advice of the infamous pervert of the Hidden Leaf or that it actually worked.
After bashing his head against a wall to cool off, he found himself at the training grounds, seeing Kakashi for the first time since the hospital visit.
He looked much better than he had two months ago back in that bloody field.
But Minato could see how skinny the boy had become. His clothes seemed to hang loose at certain places and the dark shadows under his single eye could not be ignored.
"Are you coming down anytime soon?" He hid a flinch when he saw his remaining student call out, looking in his direction calmly.
He took a deep breath and jumped down from the tree he was perched on.
"Minato-sensei." Kakashi nodded in acknowledgment and turned back to the practice dummy decorated with tears and cuts, weapons scattered all around.
"Kakashi." Minato nodded back, feeling completely stupid, mind already drawing a blank on what to say.
"Let's spar." He blurted out after another few seconds. Because he couldn't stand the awkward silence anymore.
Kakashi regarded him with a raised eyebrow before nodding.
"Okay."
They fought for a good half hour.
Minato smiled softly as the nostalgia came by in waves. He missed this type of comfortable spat he had long forgotten in the mess of war.
Kakashi's taijutsu had improved significantly over the years and damn it that substitution technique never gets old, does it?
The boy never once attempted a chidori throughout the entire fight.
"Is your eye alright?" Minato watched the boy rub at his sharingan as they took a break by the riverside.
"Yes, it just occasionally itches every now and then. A pain but I can deal." Kakashi replied simply, pulling the headband down.
"Oh..." He frowned. The Uchiha said the mangekyō had not awaken yet...
"And you, sensei? I had the impression you were drowning yourself in bars for the past two months."
He started at the teasing tone in the boy's jibe and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"You got me ahahaha..." He chuckled nervously as his student shook his head in exasperation.
"...How are you doing, Kakashi?" He saw the boy tense for a split second before his frame relaxed and resumed being casual.
"Fine."
"You can't lie to me Kakashi."
"...I think I'm done for the day." The boy got up abruptly, picking up his weapons at a hasty pace.
"Kakashi, please..." He grabbed his wrist and squeezed.
"I'm sorry. I failed to keep my promise." He whispered and felt Kakashi's arm tremble under his grip.
"Let go." The boy's tone was icy and warning and Minato flinched, hurt written all over his eyes.
"Please let go." Kakashi repeated and Minato did. He started to walk away.
"Kakashi-"
"I was in the mission room lately." Kakashi suddenly spoke and Minato froze.
"I've got quite a bounty on my head. Maybe enough to put myself in the Bingo Book."
Minato pictured the disgusting book with Kakashi's face on a page next to his own and suddenly felt sick.
"The red just doesn't wash off." He heard the boy whisper, staring down as his hands. He turned to look at his teacher.
"It's not your fault, Minato-sensei. I made a promise to Obito that I would protect her. I killed her instead...the blood is on my hands, not yours." The smile he gave Minato sent chills down his spine. The boy started to walk away again and Minato made a move to follow but stopped, arm outstretched towards the boy but never reaching.
What would he say if he caught up to him? What could he say? Could he just hug the boy and reassure him with empty words that everything will be okay?
Will things ever be okay again?
He had three more seconds.
Three more seconds and Kakashi would leave the training field and he would forever lose all his students.
Three.
Obito.
Two.
Rin.
One.
Kakashi.
"Kakashi!" He yelled out.
The training field was empty.
He breathed heavily as he dropped to his knees, trembling.
His lips quivered as tears fell once again.
Soft chuckles filled the air until it broke into full blown laughter.
"I'm...I'm..." He continued laughing as tears streamed down.
"Such a failure."
"I believe you carry on the Will of Fire." The Third Hokage stated wisely from where he sat.
If only you knew what a terrible person I am.
"So I want to entrust you with the future of the Hidden Leaf..."
You're making a huge mistake...
"...and the Shinobi world."
I'll fuck up the shinobi world...
"You will accept, won't you?"
No.
"I shall do my best to deserve your trust, Lord Third." Is what he really said aloud.
The Third nodded.
"I wished I could have passed this on under better circumstances..."
When will things get better?
"What lies ahead is not peaceful..."
Yeah, no kidding.
"I'm prepared for it." He heard himself say.
I'm sure as hell not.
"I know you can do it." The Third smiled again.
I hope I can.
He dismissed himself and headed home. He passed by the training grounds yet again, hoping to catch glimpse of a certain boy who was clearly not a boy anymore.
He never saw him there.
But he tried not to worry so much. Because he would change it. He would change it all when he became hokage.
"I, Namikaze Minato, will not fail my student again." He said out loud.
The only thing that heard him was the wind, carrying away his oath with the leaves.
About the whole mangekyō sharingan confirmation thing. I guess they just tried to get him to activate it but since his chakra levels could not sustain it, he couldn't activate it so they assumed it was never awaken. That's logical, I guess...unless I'm totally just trying to do an asspull no jutsu right now then I'm sorry that's the best I've got.
Reviews are appreciated. I'd like to see if my Naruto skills are still here so I can decide whether or not I'll write more Naruto in the future.