A/N: This took me forever to finish, so I'm happy I finally got it to a place where I was proud of it. Although, I'm still not sure about the ending, haha. Most of this was written while listening to Neon Trees. It might show. XD
Pairing: Junpei/Snake, Seven/Lotus, onesided Junpei/Akane.
Rating: M for sex and language.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a copy of the game.
"Make me forget, Snake." Junpei's voice was a hushed whisper. His hands pushed impatiently at Snake's robe, revealing his milky white chest.
"J-Junpei… We shouldn't do this." Snake turned his head, but this just opened up his neck to be ravaged by Junpei's hungry kisses. He moaned quietly, fisting his hands into Junpei's shirt.
"Don't you want me to be happy?" His voice was so pleading. Snake had the urge to tell him it was his fault for always hunting Akane down, but Junpei leaned against him and let his tears hit Snake's skin and Snake knew he could never deny the younger man.
Junpei pushed him down on the bed, and Snake briefly wondered when he had become so weak.
"I found them, Snake. I found her." Snake swallowed hard when he heard the shaky, depressed tone of Junpei's voice. A feeling of dread sank into his heart. There's only one reason he would come into my room this late at night.
"What did she say?" His voice was weak and quiet. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans, and then ran a hand through his silver hair in an attempt to calm himself.
"She told me to stop chasing her, that she never wanted to see me again. You know what the worst part is? She didn't even sound upset." Junpei's voice was pained, and as he spoke his hand slid up Snake's thigh. Snake wrapped his elegant fingers around Junpei's wrist to halt his movements, only to be pulled into a forceful kiss.
He wasn't surprised when his back was being pressed against a familiar soft mattress, but no words of protest came from him.
When Junpei showed up the next night, Snake finally stood up for himself.
"We aren't doing this anymore. I have self respect, and I refuse to let myself be used like this."
"Like what?" Snake growled at how innocent Junpei's voice sounded. Junpei chuckled and moved closer, pressing his lips gently against Snake's cheek. Stay strong.
"Junpei, please, take this seriously. You know what I'm referring to. I don't want to used so you can take out your frustrations about-"
"Don't say it!" Junpei shouted, clamping his hand over Snake's mouth. Snake batted the hand away, shifting so there was more space between them. "You think you're so high and mighty," Junpei seethed, "you can't even get over yourself and help me, your friend, in my time of need."
Snake winced at his harsh words. "I would be willing to help you if it didn't involve having sex!" He shouted back. There was no response. Just as he was about to call out and see if Junpei was still there, he felt the weight on the bed shift and heard the door slam. He fell back, his eyes heavy, and let sleep take him.
He pretended he couldn't hear the moans coming from Junpei's room. He thought it was vulgar and rude of Junpei to bring home some random girl and wave her around in his face. Leave it to Junpei to make sure I can hear her.
Snake had finally given up on trying to block out the noises and headed downstairs where he made himself comfortable on the sofa. Television was useless to him, since he couldn't see the screen, but he turned it on anyway to help drown out the sound from upstairs.
He turned on his side and feigned sleep when he heard the heavy footsteps of Junpei and the girl he brought home. His ears strained to hear their hushed goodbyes, and his body tensed when Junpei began walking over to him. "Snake. Psst, Snake. I know you're awake, buddy, c'mon." A hand shook his slim shoulder and Snake smacked it away. "Ow, that hurt!" Junpei whined playfully.
"Are you mad at me?" His lips were against Snake's ear suddenly. "You don't have a reason to be, y'know. I'm a guy. I have… urges." Snake shuddered and moved away from Junpei, whose solution was plop down on the couch and pull Snake into his lap. "I wish I had been fucking you."
Blood rushed to Snake's groin, and he bit his lip to hold back a moan. He struggled to escape Junpei's hold, embarrassed with himself for getting aroused. Junpei tightened his grip and slid a hand down to palm Snake's growing erection.
"Ah! J-Junpei, stop touching me." Snake's voice was annoyed and he squirmed, clearly uncomfortable.
"Please, I'm trying to help you. Don't think this time, just feel." Snake moaned at the husky tone of Junpei's voice. He bucked up into Junpei's hand, who chuckled quietly. "Perfect."
Snake ignored the voice in his head screaming don't do this and gave into Junpei.
They had only spent a month together when Junpei announced that he was leaving. There was several minutes of silence before Snake finally got over his surprise.
"W-Where? Where are you going? You're just leaving me behind?" He hated how desperate and clingy his voice sounded.
"I… I'm going to keep looking for Akane. I can convince her to come back. I'm sure of it." Snake opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by Junpei. "I know what you're thinking. 'She already said no the first time, why would she change her mind?'"
Snake nodded curtly. "Well, I can't really explain it. I just have this feeling that she'll come back this time."
"You don't even know where she is now! You're leaving me to chase after a girl who doesn't even love you, and never will!" He spoke harshly, not caring about possibly hurting Junpei's feelings. He heard Junpei growl and slam his fist into the wall.
"Are you kidding me?" His voice shook as he tried to keep himself from physically hurting Snake. "You don't know how she feels. You don't know how I feel."
Snake asked Junpei how he felt even though he knew the answer wouldn't be anything good.
"Unsatisfied. That enough for you?" Junpei laughed. "Face it, Snake. I love her more than you." He heard Junpei gathering his bags. His lips pressed into a thin line.
"Don't come back when she rejects you again," he whispered, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He opened the door for Junpei and slammed the door before he had a chance to say goodbye.
Snake slumped against the door and cried for what felt like hours.
"Light, are you okay?" Clover asks, placing a tiny hand on his arm comfortingly. It's strange how foreign his own name sounds to him now.
"I'm fine, thank you," his voice is so weak and filled with sorrow that it makes her heart constrict painfully in her chest. She wraps her arms around his midsection and rests her forehead on his back.
"Remember when it was just you and I? This will be just like that. It'll be so much fun! There won't be anyone to hurt us." Her voice is encouraging, but Snake can hear past the false happiness. It's understandable. Who would want to lose all of their friends just to support their brother?
He shakes his head. "We can't just shut ourselves off. Besides, Lotus said she wanted to visit us soon."
Snake shrugs his younger sister off and feels his way over to the stairs. "You know, Light, if you're having trouble finding your way around we can just move back into-"
"No!" He shouts at her and feels bad instantly. "I'm sorry, Clover… I know you're just trying to help, but I don't want to think about that place anymore." Too many bad memories.
Clover mutters a quiet "I understand" and Snake continues up the stairs, feeling like a coward for reasons he can't explain.
He wonders what everyone would think of him now, a sobbing mess, so unlike his normal witty and confident self.
He let Junpei trick him with his lies, and those three words that meant absolutely nothing had been his downfall. Junpei had used him, and the realization made him feel sick.
Clover tells him constantly he should blame everything on Junpei, but for some reason he can't. Junpei shouldn't be blamed for being in love with someone other than me.
He should be blamed for using you to try and forget about her, his conscious reminds him.
Snake's head snaps up at the sound of his door opening. The footsteps are too heavy to be Clover's. Panic fills him, but quickly fades as a seductive voice says his name and he recognizes the sound of heels on the floor.
"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Lotus sweeps him up in her arms and crushes his frail frame against her voluptuous one. The bone crushing embrace is oddly comforting, and he leans into it while he buries his face in her thick hair. "Clover told me everything. I'm so sorry. None of us ever thought this would happened! I can't believe he would treat someone as wonderful as you like that," her tone reminds him of a girl comforting her best friend after a guy dumped her. He chuckles softly at the thought of him being one of the girls.
"I'm fine, Lotus," he surprises himself with how easily the lie slips out. He is most certainly not fine, unless you consider crying yourself to sleep every night to be fine, that is.
"Don't lie to me!" She says sternly, finally letting him go. "Clover and I would really like it if you came downstairs. We have a surprise for you!" Snake follows her cautiously, nearly jumping out of his skin when he reaches the landing and hears a loud shout of happy birthday.
He can't believe he forgot his own birthday. He doesn't have time to think about it, though, because a large hand that can only belong to one man pats him on the back and the familiar form of Clover is in his arms. He hugs his small sister tight. "Thank you so much."
"No prob, bro!" Clover giggles, and as she lets go of him he's pulled into an awkward hug by bulky arms.
"Happy birthday," Seven's gruff voice mumbles, his arms retreating back to his sides quickly. Snake grins. Slim fingers much like his own grip his, and he's led to a chair.
"You can't see all the hard work I put into this cake," Lotus huffs, sounding quite annoyed, "but everyone in this room will tell you it's beautiful!"
Clover makes a confused noise. "But it's just a plain chocolate cake Lotus, what are you talki- oh. Um. I mean. I-It's really beautiful…. EEP!" Snake hears heels clicking against the floor as Lotus chases Clover around the cramped kitchen. Clover finally attaches herself to Snake's side, and he puts a comforting hand on her curly hair. "It's your fault for trying to trick a blind man anyway! Shame on you!" He bursts into laughter at the serious tone of his sister's high-pitched voice. Lotus and Clover continue to fight while Snake searches the table for the cake, wanting to taste it.
His hand hovers in the air awkwardly until Seven's large one guides it to the cake, the girls too busy bickering to notice. He mouths his thanks and swipes his finger across the top to gather some frosting, bringing it to his mouth with a satisfied hum. "It tastes wonderful, Lotus."
They finally stop arguing. "Why thank you, Snake!" Lotus sounds smug, and Clover grunts beside him. "Clover, could you cut it for me while I get plates?"
A few seconds later, his sister is shoving a fork into his hand. "Clover, I think I can pick up a fork by myself," he scoffs. Lotus smacks him in the back of the head.
"Oh, shush, it's your birthday. We're going to make everything as easy as possibly for you! Hell, if we all didn't want to eat, I'm sure someone would be feeding you." Lotus giggles at how quickly red spread across Snake's cheeks. "Kidding, sweetheart." The small group laughs, and for the first time in a while Snake feels happy.
"Ugh, I shouldn't have had that fifth piece…" Clover groans as she flops onto the couch, resting her head on Snake's lap. He smiles, smoothing her hair down on her head. Her breathing evens out and he turns his head toward Lotus, asking her politely about her and Seven's relationship.
"Oh, well, he said he didn't really have anywhere to go so I invited him back to my place. Not to do anything, mind you, I was just giving him a bed to sleep in!"
"I had one already," Seven interjects, much to Snake's amusement.
"Quiet you!" Lotus snaps. "Anyway, the feelings just started to grow. We were around each other almost all day. The girls really like him too." As Lotus ends her brief description, there's a loud knock on the door. Her heels clack against the floor, waking Clover up as she walks to the door. "What the hell are you doing here?" Snake is shocked at the venom in her voice.
He freezes as a familiar deep voice responds. Clover's hand finds his arm and squeezes it. "Let's go upstairs. Lotus will get rid of him." He nods and lets himself be pulled by Clover.
"Snake? Snake, tell her to let me in. I have to talk to you." He plants his feet firmly on the ground, his head turned in Junpei's direction. Clover tugs on his arm impatiently. "Just listen to me, please. I can explain everything." The desperation in Junpei's voice hits Snake's heart hard.
Lotus turns to him and takes his face in her hands. "If you want to talk to him… I won't blame you. You two can go upstairs, but if anything other than talking happens, Seven will be up there in a flash." She clears her throat. "And you don't want to find out what that means, right Junpei?"
Junpei pushes past her and takes Snake's hand, leading him to his room. Clover begins screaming at Lotus right as the door closes.
"Happy birthday." Junpei takes a seat on his bed, pulling Snake with him.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" Snake hisses, his hand tightening painfully around Junpei's. "I… I can't even believe you would come here after what you did to me. How did you even find me?"
"That's not important. I'm really sorry, Snake. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I was being an idiot. Akane… means nothing to me." Snake scoffs.
"If you're going to lie, at least make it more believable."
"You can't expect me to forget about her when she's all I have to think about. Just give me another chance, please." Junpei leans closer, his arms wrapping around Snake's slim torso. Snake's hands press weakly against Junpei's chest and he shakes his head. "Please, Snake," Junpei's voice breaks and so does Snake's resolve.
Their lips smash together and Junpei's hands busy themselves with removing Snake's clothing. His heart feels like it's being crushed and he knows he'll regret this, but he doesn't push Junpei away. He briefly wonders if this could be considered an addiction, but a hand settles in between his legs and his mind goes blank.