Author: Ami Mercury
Rating: PG-13
Title: Summer (Song fic)
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing…yeah…okay don't own, never will…neither do I own this song…Scotty wrote it! Yay Scotty! Thehe um…yeah…
AN: YAOI!! Thehe…my favorite…1x2… so this song is from a band called Time Theory (2 ppl that were in Saddest Star are in it, see Saddest Star fic if you don't know what I'm talking about) So yeah…on with the fic!
Summer
*As today is turned to yesterday
And the summer sky is turned to darkness
I am the silent soul that walks alone
Broken, lost and long forgotten*
All my life I have been alone, until I found that perfect someone who calmed my heart and taught me to love. But no longer is that the case, I am now alone, again. I will never be remembered as a person but as a soldier of war, one of the Gundam pilots, one who was brought up to be alone but can no longer accept it. I want to be with him, I want to be with the one I love.
*And as I watch the sky tonight,
My eyes focused on the stars above me
I wonder when this all will go away
And let me live*
As I look up at the colonies I have a constant feeling of longing, to be there, to be home with him. I don't think the people of earth ever notice how beautiful the earth really is. To be able to see the moon and the stars from so far away blows away seeing them from much closer up. From being a Gundam pilot I find that often I am ridiculed by persons who obviously does not know anything about me. The fact that I am also a person of Japanese decent from the colonies also seems to direct more persecution.
*And I stand here waiting,
Listening to hear the answers
But I hear only silence
So tomorrow I will wait again*
This loneliness is always a constant reminder that there is no one who loves me. For a long time I thought that there had to be someone out there that I could love and who would love me back. Being with him finally made me feel like that WAS true, that someone loved me and that I would never be alone again. But time can always tell as our relationship fell apart and he left me, to be alone forever. There isn't anyone out there for me, there never has been and there never will be.
*Tomorrow slowly turns into today
For the day the darkness has subsided
And I am still the silent soul
Still waiting for my light to shine through*
Each day changes, but nothing else does. Time seems to have stopped, and left me alone in this tidal wave of pain. Day after day I think of him, of the love that felt and of the darkness that now encompasses my heart. My life is now repeating like a broken record, over and over again filled with the same dismal days and those indistinguishable bleak hours of isolation.
*And as I face this day alone,
Just like the day that came before, and what's to come tomorrow
I'm waiting for the emptiness to fade
To let me live*
I don't see why in my life I've never been able to keep anyone around who loves me. I seem not to be able to escape the fact that my life is so empty and meaningless. I want to stop loving him, I want to go on with my life and maybe even fall in love again one day.
*And I
stand here waiting,
Listening to hear the answers
But I hear only silence
So tomorrow I will wait again
And I stand here waiting,
Listening to hear the answers
But I hear only silence
So tomorrow I will wait again*
For so long I felt that no matter what he would never love me, and then one day I found he also had feelings for me. I can still see those beautiful eyes and his wavy hair, looking down at me, telling me that he would love me no matter what. Life seems to constantly be regressing, now it's like the old days again, my being in love with him while he has no such feelings for me. At least before I had a hope, deep down that one day he would feel for me what I felt for him, but now that is gone, as his feelings for me have come and gone.
*And now
I bid farewell
To another summer day
And I will still be here tomorrow*
I'm not going to feel bad for myself anymore; I'm going to work at moving on. Once he said that if things did not change I would never heal, and I guess he was right. Tomorrow I will still be alone, but I'll have hope, that one day I will no longer be in love with him.
Authors note: Okay…this fic is not that great…it took me 4 months to finally finish it…oh and may I just say Time Theory rocks!