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AU of the episode 'Outcast' where Sheppard goes to his Dad's funeral and is accompanied by Teyla who is very pregnant with his child.

disclaimer: This is fanfiction. I don't own the show, unfortunately! The episode Outcast was written by: Alan McCullough. Any lines from that episode used in this work of fiction can be attributed to him. The Outcast storyline was conceived by the incredible (and extremely handsome) Joe Flanigan.

ratings: Mostly K+ but I'll rate it T just to be on the safe side in case I forgot about any little curse words that I threw in accidentally.

A/N: I have no medical background obviously as has been pointed out and there are mistakes in this area, please forgive me. I am using poetic license to make it more dramatic.

This story is in the same universe as "What You Wish For" but can be read on its own without too much confusion. But if you want to know how Teyla became pregnant with John's baby, check it out. Warning, though, that fic is for Mature Audiences Only!

pairings: John/Teyla established

feedback: always welcomed, appreciated and responded to with a thank you. (unless you review anonymously in which case I can't and I'll thank you now.)

Not Alone

by Karasel

"Colonel, I was just coming to see you. Do you have a minute?" Sam Carter called down the hallway after John Sheppard. John turned around from his conversation with Ronon and gave his attention to his CO.

"Yeah, sure."

"I received a message from Stargate Command," Carter told him but John thought she looked a bit nervous. He wondered why that was. "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

That could be the reason. He looked at her curiously. "Okay."

Carter took a deep breath and started, "Your father suffered a heart attack last night. I'm sorry, John, but he passed away."

John felt his stomach drop almost like when you went over a big bump in a car or when an elevator first started up. He definitely hadn't expected this. Bad news usually meant some bad guy/alien was wreaking havoc somewhere they shouldn't and he needed to help stop it. That kind of bad news he could deal with. This, this was emotional bad news and he wasn't all that equipped to handle it. And since he hadn't seen his Dad in over five years, he really wasn't sure what he should be feeling.

They'd left things in a pretty bad way last time they'd talked. Although he didn't think it could really be called talking as mostly they had shouted at each other. He'd been angry, really angry at the man so he figured maybe he shouldn't care that much about what Carter had just told him. But for some odd reason, he really did.

He looked around the hallway and his eyes searched for someplace to land. He couldn't look at Carter, she was standing there with pity in her eyes and he hated pity. He couldn't look at Ronon; the man didn't even know that Sheppard's father had still been alive. Yeah, I know, Pal, sorry I didn't share that bit of info with you.

Carter began speaking again and John forced himself to look at her. "We can send you to Earth whenever you're ready. We'll be standing by."

John just nodded. He didn't trust his voice right now. He wasn't sure what he would say if he thought his voice would even work.

"Just let us know," Carter added. "I'm really sorry, John." She gave him another sad look and turned to walk away, leaving John standing in the hallway, Ronon by his side.

But John had never felt more alone at the moment. He continued to stand there for a few more moments before Ronon finally broke the silence.

"Sorry, Sheppard. You okay?"

John slowly looked at his big friend and attempted to nod his head but his thoughts were so scrambled and convoluted right now that he wasn't sure he was convincing. He attempted a response.

"Yeah, I, uh…" he looked around the hallway again and just started walking in the direction of his quarters completely forgetting that he'd been in the middle of a conversation with Ronon.

Ronon watched his friend walk off down the corridor and his eyes narrowed in concern. Sheppard wasn't someone to spend a lot of time talking about his feelings, heck any time talking about his feelings but this reaction was odd, even for him. But the fact that he hadn't even known Sheppard's Dad was still alive made him wonder what the situation had been between them.

Sheppard was moving slow and Ronon followed just as slow behind him but then went in a different direction; his goal, the control room. He wanted to find out what time Teyla was expected back from New Athos. He figured Sheppard needed someone right now but was too proud to ask for any help or open up about what was going on in his head. But if anyone could give him some help and support; it was Teyla.

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sgasgasgasga

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John moved a few more items onto the bed and pulled out his duffle bag from the corner of the closet. The packing was almost automatic. Being in the military made quick pack-ups a necessity. But this wasn't a mission he was going on, so he didn't need military clothing or gear, just some civvies and personal items.

The door chimed in the other room but John continued packing until Rodney showed up in the doorway of the bedroom. He seemed uncomfortable and John looked at him briefly.

"Hey, I heard what happened, I'm … very sorry."

John took a second to reply. "Thanks."

"You okay?" Rodney asked his tone uncertain.

"Yeah, I'm … fine," John lied. He honestly didn't know how he was feeling but it definitely wasn't fine. The response was just so ingrained in him he didn't always know how to respond differently.

"You know I requested to go back with you but the Ancient device on M7G677 is malfunctioning again."

John's mind went through the numbers in his head and responded, "That the planet with all the kids?"

"Yeah."

"That should be fun for you." John's sarcasm was weak but it was all he could muster for now.

"Yeah, believe me I'd get out of it if I could but you know without the EM field they're an easy target for the Wraith. I guess it's just bad timing. But you were there for me when my sister was kidnapped. I want to be there for you."

"Don't worry about it."

"If you want to, you know, talk…"

"Rodney, I'm fine," John interrupted.

He appreciated his friend's intentions but he didn't think he could talk about it. What would he say? And Rodney was so awkward with these kind of things that John knew the conversation would be more than awkward itself if John could even find the words. He didn't have the energy right now. He felt like this had sapped all his strength and that alone made him mad that something, someone could affect him so much, especially his Dad.

Rodney just shook his head and started wandering away. "Right."

John paused in his packing for a moment and gave a big sigh. He looked down at his bag and realized he'd put everything in it that he needed, so he zipped it up and moved it near the door. He sat down on the bed and gazed around the room, noticing Teyla's hairbrush and the scented candles that she liked so much were resting near a few of his things.

They'd moved into these larger quarters about five months ago and it had been amazing having her here, near him all the time. His eyes moved around the room some more and fell on the pile of items in the corner. The females on Atlantis had thrown Teyla a baby shower a week ago and John couldn't believe how little some of the clothes were that they'd been given. Then he looked at the tiny cradle that Halling had made for them. It didn't seem possible that anyone could be small enough to actually sleep in it.

Thinking of Teyla and the baby brought a smile to his face. The first one he'd had since Carter had told him the news about an hour ago. He still didn't feel like talking but he knew that if anyone could help him feel even remotely better right now it would be Teyla and her warm arms surrounding him in the comfort that only she could bring. He lowered his head into his hands and wondered if she would return from her trip before he left to go back to Earth.

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sgasgasgasga

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Teyla walked through the gate and saw Sam moving down the stairs toward her with a purpose. Teyla shifted the quilts in her arms to better accommodate her growing mid-section and looked at her friend.

"Teyla, I'm glad you're back early. I think John could probably use you about now."

Teyla blinked at the somewhat cryptic statement. "What has happened?" Teyla's concern slipped through in her voice. "Has John been injured?"

"No," Sam reassured her. "But we did get a message from Stargate Command. John's father died last night. He's in your quarters packing right now. I told him we could send him through as soon as he was ready."

Teyla shifted the quilts in her arms again and began walking off the gate platform. "Then I must get ready myself. I will see you shortly."

"Teyla," Sam questioned hopefully, knowing her Military Commander had seemed more than a little off when she'd given him the news. "So you plan on going back with him?"

"Yes," Teyla said succinctly and moved away toward the nearest transporter wishing she had not decided to carry the quilts back herself. She tried to deny that her ever growing figure had actually made her less able to do certain things but now as she waddled down the hall she knew she should probably admit it. But she was determined and after making her way to the Northern part of the city where their new quarters were located, Teyla dropped the quilts outside the door to wave her hand over the controls. She would come back out and get them later. Her first priority was John.

She knew that John had not had a great relationship with his father for many years. He had spoken of him only occasionally and mostly when he became nervous that he wouldn't be a good father to their son. She would always tease him that he would be a great father since he was such a child himself at times. That usually worked to get him to chuckle and stop worrying.

She walked into the living room and gazed out at the balcony where she and John would spend most evenings when he wasn't on duty, just watching the sunset and listening to the serene sounds of the ocean. He wasn't there so she moved down the hall to the bedroom they had shared since they had participated in the Unity ceremony on New Athos five months ago.

Of course she had been three months pregnant at the time but a few months before that she and John had finally realized that they cared for each other deeply and wanted to commit to each other. John had insisted that since they were in the Pegasus Galaxy that they do it the way they would here. He told her that if they ever made it back to Earth they could repeat the vows there as well in an Earth marriage. She sighed when she thought that the death of a loved one was most likely not the right time to carry through that promise.

She entered the bedroom and her heart ached as she saw John sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. The drooped posture told her just how much this had upset him. She moved silently behind him and sat on the bed. Her hand tentatively touched his back and she leaned into him, attempting to give him her strength.

He immediately sat up and turned toward her, drawing her into his arms. He held her for several minutes and she allowed him to speak in his own time.

He took a deep breath and eased back from her slightly. "I need to go back to Earth for a few days."

"Yes," Teyla nodded her head. "I heard what happened and I am very sorry, John. Just give me a few minutes and I will be ready to accompany you."

She stood up and moved toward the closet but paused when he called her name.

"Teyla, wait!" He stood up also and stepped toward her. "You don't need to come. It's gonna be a long trip and the baby's almost due. I don't want you taking any chances. You should just stay here and make sure you get some rest."

Teyla glared at him in what he thought of as her 'Don't treat me like glass' look that she had adopted since she'd started showing. Her hands moved to her hips and he knew he was gonna get blasted. Although blasted from Teyla meant a very stern talking to in a completely calm and controlled manner. Sometimes he wished she would just yell at him.

"The baby is not due for almost a month and Jennifer has assured me that most first babies are late to arrive. You said yourself that it would only be a few days so there is no need to worry about that."

John started to lift his hand for another point but Teyla stopped him before his first word came out. "And do not try to tell me you are worried about my travelling through the gate. I have been back and forth to New Athos and many other worlds since we have been expecting. I have had no ill effects."

John was worried about the baby and Teyla and he knew she would argue with him until he was blue in the face if he tried to change her mind. She was extremely stubborn. Of course he was too. But right now it seemed he had no power or energy to argue with her about anything. His shoulders sagged and he just stared at her, his eyes pouring out more emotion than she'd seen in all the time she'd known him.

Teyla planned to argue some more with John until she saw his shoulders drop and his whole body almost wilt. He was hurting and she needed to comfort him. She moved into his embrace and his arms closed around her tightly. It was usually her needing comfort from him since she'd become pregnant, especially as her hormones grew stronger and raged inside her body. But this time it was he who drew strength from her and she was glad to repay the favor.

Eight months ago their team had landed on a planet and been held against their will by the locals. Their traditions and customs, while steeped in the need for self-preservation and procreation, had horrified John and Teyla. But during that time, John and Teyla had come to admit that they had harbored strong feelings for each other since they had first met. Had it not been for what they were forced to do, they may never had confessed their true thoughts regarding the other.

And John, being who he was, had done everything in his power to protect Teyla from the unpleasant happenings of the village. The result being the little bundle of joy they were now expecting. And she knew John was truly happy about the baby. He had been even before they knew for sure if she had become pregnant. Now she needed to give back some of that support that he had always given to her.

"I will be ready in just a few moments," she insisted again. "Do not leave without me."

John gave a half-hearted smile and dropped back on the bed, his forearms resting on his knees again. He watched as Teyla began removing items from the closet and putting them in her travel bag. She still moved with such feminine grace, even with her newer shape. And his heart pumped faster when he watched that frame and thought about the life that she carried inside her. The life they had both created with their love for each other. The life he always was amazed at when he felt him moving.

It had not been the best of circumstances that had resulted in this situation but he honestly couldn't be too upset that it had happened. He had loved Teyla forever and had only realized the fact when they were forced into an untenable situation. But he was glad that they had finally disclosed their feelings and gotten together, regardless of how it had happened. Being with her for all these months had made him realize he couldn't live without her. It was one of the reasons he hadn't argued with her more forcefully about going with him back to Earth. He knew he would need her strength and support to get through the next few days. But he also knew it wasn't for the reasons most people would think.

He looked at the clothes that she was folding neatly and putting in her bag and interrupted the process. "You know, Teyla, maybe when we get there, we should stop and get you a few new outfits to wear."

Teyla looked at him questioningly. He gave a tiny smile as he looked at the long, leather top covering the laced up pants, knowing they would be a little out of place on Earth, especially at his father's funeral. He figured the typical attire would be business suits and tailored dresses. Maybe they didn't have to go that far for Teyla but he didn't want her to be seen as completely alien, even though that's what she would be.

Teyla nodded her understanding and threw in her last few personal items and closed the bag.

"I am ready."

John took the bag from her and picked up his own. She would have given him a bit more argument if she hadn't noticed that he seemed really weary. And she had to admit that she was feeling a bit tired herself from carrying the quilts all the way from the gate room here.

As they walked out of the quarters, Teyla paused and attempted to pick up the quilts from where she had left them outside the door.

"Please wait for a moment, John. I would like to put these inside before we go."

John watched amused as she attempted to bend down to pick them up and he almost laughed when she couldn't quite reach. He finally dropped the bags he had and quickly picked up the quilts and deposited them inside on one of the couches.

When he came back out, he grinned, "I figured if I waited for you to get them we'd miss the funeral."

Teyla crossed her arms over her more than ample chest and gave a not-so-patient smile. "You are pushing it, John Sheppard." But she gave him no argument as he grabbed her bag again and made their way to the gate room and then to Earth.

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sgasgasgasga

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