THE HOBBIT SPOOF
The story starts off when young Bilbo Baggins was sitting outside his house, smoking.
Suddenly his old friend Gandalf happened by. "Good morning Gandalf" Bilbo said. "What do you mean by that?" Gandalf cried. "Oh boy" Bilbo moaned. "Do you mean good morning to you only, or as a insult or statement" Gandalf said, and went on and on about it.
"I meant it as a statement, and not a form of adventure" Bilbo said angrily.
"DID SOMEONE SAY ADVENTURE!" Cried Berlin, as he literary popped out of nowhere. Bilbo screamed in fear. And ran in his house. But all other dwarves where waiting at his table. "About time you arrived" Said Bomber. "Ya" Said Berlin said as he appeared beside Bilbo, as did Gandalf.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE!" Bilbo screamed angrily. Dwalin told Bilbo they were invited. "BY WHO!" Bilbo cried. "Some old guy, with a pointy hat" Dwalin replied.
Bilbo glared at Gandalf. Who was whistling in a, pretending not to be involved, type way.
LATER!
The dwarves began singing a Bilbo mocking song. (real lyrics)
Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
Blunt the knives and bend the forks!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates -
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Cut the cloth and tread the fat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Splash the wine on every door!
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;
Pound them up with a thumping pole;
And when you've finished, if any are whole,
Send them down the hall to roll!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
So, carefully! Carefully with the plates!
"STOP MOCKING ME WITH CATCHY RYTHEMS, AND SONG LYRICS!" Biblo screamed. "Fine" Therin said. "Why did Gandalf invite you guys anyway?" Bilbo asked. "We answer your question in song" the dwarves said, and they began.
The greatest adventure,
Is what lies ahead,
Today and tomorrow,
Are yet to be said,
The chances the changes,
Are all yours to make,
The mold of your life,
Is in your hands to break,
The greatest adventure,
Is there if your bold,
Let go of the mood,
That life makes you old,
To measure the meaning,
Can make you delay,
You've got to stop thinking,
And wasting the day,
The man whose a dreamer,
And never takes leave,
Dreams of a world that is just make believe,
Will never know passion,
Will never know pain,
One who sits by the window,
Will one day see rain
"Wow, THAT WAS TERRIBLE!" Biblo mocked. "SCREW YOU!" Berlin cried angrily. "Besides I don't want to go on an adventure" Bilbo said. Gandalf hit Bilbo's head on his wand. "YES HE DOSE!" Gandalf cried. All the dwarves cheered and picked him up, like he won a football game, or something. They started carrying him away from his house, and the adventure began, other he liked it or not
PLEASE REVIEW CHAPTER