Elenas P.O.V

The music was blasting out of the speakers. the floors were covered in beer and plastic cups. my shoes were sticking to the floor because of the dried up beer and my nose was burning from the smoke in the air from all the pot being smoked. i could hear matt, my boyfriend playing beer pong with tyler and the rest of the football team in the background. caroline was so drunk she didnt know she was flirting with a bush. bonnie had been running around the bonfire in the back telling people she was psychic , reading their palms and using a beer bottle as a crystal ball.

Everything was hazy to me whil i was drunk. like i was under water. matt is talking to me the whole time and i havent heard a word of it. every word he spoke, every sentence he finished was all coming out in drabbles.

Lately matt has been on my case about everything , and bonnie was no help either. whenever matt said i love you i never said it back, bonnie keeps saying that i need to decide weither or not i could be with him. but matt was talking about his future, he knows what he wants and he wants it with me. he was putting to much pressure on me. it was only sophmore year , i had time to think about this later and matt wants me to make a choice now.

i didnt want to hurt his feelings by breaking up with him, or saying i just needed time to figure things out. i didnt even want to tell him i hadnt heard a thing he said, knowing that it would hurt him. but he gives me no choice but to hurt him.

suddenly in my drunken state i grew angry. angry that matt was pushing me to this, trying to map out an imaginary life were it would be all lollipops and rainbows. doing everything but asking me what i wanted and where he fit into my life. i wasnt just going to let him make all my life decisions.

" oh my god!, matt do you every shut up."

"what the hell elena!, i was just tryiung to ask you if you wanted another beer. im the designated driver tonight so i might as well live vicariously through you." he says laughing, not noticing he was high from the second hand smoking he was doing with the fumes in the air.

i became so enraged at him that i started yelling and hitting him." i cant take this anymore. your to easy going. you have everything planned me and for you! well guess what! i like chaos and trouble and not knowing whats going to happen next! and you, you have everything planned and layed out, not expecting anything to be disrupted. well im disrupting it! your not my boyfriend anymore, you'll never be my boyfriend again, and you will never have control of my life like you want! im going to do whatever i want. im going to create my own chaos, adventure, excitement,and love. im done with you. i am not in love with you and i never will be, not like you want me to."

I walked away from one shock frozen matt. i wouldnt let myself feel any guilt about it i knew i made the right decision. i heard bonnie and caroline yell for me , trying to get my attention while they ran for me.

"no ,no . you guys arent going to stop me. i made my decision. now bonnie i know your not that drunk , youve had like 2 beers . can you drive me home?"

Bonnie looked at me, proud at the fact that i made a choice. she nodded at me ,getting her keys out and going to her car.

I turned around to caroline and said "im not going to listen to you! and my ponytail does not lack ghuzz yours does."

I left for bonnies car , leaving caroline in a fit about her hair. i got into the car and thanked bonnie. by the time she got me home i was ready to pass out. everyone was already sleeping when i got home and the livingroom left a mess from family night. i climbed up the stairs to my room and fell on my soft bed, thanking god for whoever invented feather beds.

All my bothersome decisions made and no more pressure. all i had to worry about was what i was wearing tomorrow.

I fell asleep dreaming of a hot sexy vampire cuddled up with me in his bed after he had just saved me from an evil original vampire. all i could think when i woke up from the dream was think i want that. i want that sexy, cocky, confident, charming, valient asshole who saved me from things that wanted to hurt me.

To bad they dont exist.