December 31st, 1999, 11:50 am
Tell me, when you kissed me goodbye, what was on your mind?
Tessa had always known that Will would not live as long as she did. She always knew that she'd live forever and ever, a stationary rock in the midst of this stream of life.
that didn't mean that she forgot what it was like to ever be in love with someone. Specifically, how it was to be in love with Will. How it was to be the recipient of those soft smiles, those quirky comments, how it was to have his arm there whenever she needed it. How she would be the one to smooth back his hair and soothe him whenever he would think of the past. (Hint, cough, Jem). His face when he saw their first child.
She'd pushed all those feelings away, locked in the depths of her heart. Thinking of it would just make her sad, after all, and according to Magnus, holding on to your past is not how one would approach this… immortality thing.
Tess.
Tessa's breath fogged up the air around her, and she stuffed her hands in her pockets, wondering why she was outside if she wasn't even going to partake in the New Year's festivities. Her jacket billowed from where it was, behind the bench. For some reason she wasn't at all that cold. In this infinite quiet, she could hear fireworks exploding overhead, the trees just thin enough to let through some of the incandescent light. Thin voices screamed and hollered at a distance. Tessa felt so far away from it all, locked here in her own little bubble. Her lids drooped and the multi-coloured lights started blurring together until they became floating bokehs.
Happy New Years, Tessa Gray. Well, almost.
Tessa reluctantly drew a hand out of her sweater pockets to check the time on her cell phone. The phones' light cast a bluish glow around her face. 11:54 pm.
The party would really be going on by now, Tessa thought. As if in response, a bus blared its horn and people screamed back their delight at the passengers.
A family trudged past her decrepit park bench. A little girl of about 7 years was giggling, the mere idea of staying up late making her giddy with happiness. Her eyes followed the girl, clad in her little purple jacket, as she skipped towards the park exit, her mother hurriedly trying to catch up. The girl, spinning around and around, fell over suddenly, her little brown boots sticking into the air. She looked around, confused, and then broke into a huge smile.
"You all right?" asked the father worriedly, creases forming on his forehead. The girl rubbed her eyes with soft red mittens and nodded.
Tessa watched them until they moved out of her sight, her eyes simply unable to unglue themselves from the scene that reminded her so desperately of the past.
Isn't she just adorable? Such little things can make children happy.
Her phone shone 12:58 pm.
Tessa considered her options. One, she could go to the New Year's party that was down the block, slap on a fake smile, and pretend that she was as excited as all the others were for the turn of the century. Two, she could go visit Magnus, who would either make her sad, or drunk, by the end of the night. Or both. Besides, he probably had a party going on too.
Y are invited to M e r
Tes a, you'd be er come okay-
Ho d at Mag u place.
Don't even rete d to forget where that is, you u d to come every Fri ay
Starts 7:30pm.
Some of the ink was rubbed off, since the invitation had been living in her sweater pockets for a while now.
Right. She had received an invitation. Tessa got up from the bench, the entire thing groaning as she got up. She shot it a glare. She wasn't that heavy. She decided then that she was going to go the party down the block instead of going to Magnus's. Better pretending to be happy than getting sadder as the night went on.
She told herself that these feelings were ones that she would try to push away. But it was hard. Losing someone is hard. Having things that remind you of them makes that even harder.
Leaving so soon, Tess? We haven't even talked yet. And I came all this way.
Every. Single. Freaking. New Year's, Tessa would… hear things. A soft voice, talking to her. She dismissed it as something she called a "side effect".
The side effect of being immortal. She would ignore it.
However, this year, it was louder. More insistent.
Tess. Tess, Tessa…
She swore she knew the owner of the voice.
So familiar.
So dear to her.
So close to her heart.
And it was getting louder.
She walked away.
Are you not cold?
This, all this is just a figment of my imagination, Tessa would tell herself. A defense mechanism, maybe. Something, anything that would fill the void inside my heart. Her boots crunched the frost that spidered across the stone floor as she slowly picked her way through the parks' paths. The vibrations from the booming music made themselves known to her as she got closer to the party.
Then suddenly, while Tessa was still half a block away from the crowd, everyone started cheering.
Her phone shone 12:00am.
"Excuse me, miss- I believe you forgot this on the bench when you left." A voice materialised behind her right ear. "Are you not cold?"
Tessa's breath hitched in her chest, air trying to rush out and trying to gush in at the same time.
That voice.
The fireworks overhead renewed their efforts with vigour, coloured lights splashing across everyone's faces. The shouts and laughs of the crowd seemed to be sucked away, swirling and quite distant. Despite herself, Tessa whirled around.
"How do you live with all this unnecessary noise?" He grinned at her. "Sitting in a library with a copy of A Tale of Two Cities is much, much better than being out here."
The curve of his mouth, the mop of hair, the eyes, the long fingers- everything that was so dear to her-
"Will," she managed, his name slipping from her mouth.
"Hello, Tess."