Before anybody asks, the characters Pablo and Lisa are of my own creation, just so there's no confusion

French Narrator: Patchy the Pirate presents...

We zoom into Patchy's house, Patchy is sitting on a chair in front of the TV holding a remote

Patchy: Ahoy! It's a SpongeBob SquarePants Fanfic TV Movie Special!

Patchy turns on the TV, on the screen there is a spinning SpongeBob and the TV says "SpongeBob SquarePants Fanfic TV Movie Special"

Squidward & Squilliam's Friend or Foe

Written by: SBRoxMan
Story Idea by: SBRoxMan
Based On: Friend or Foe

We see Squidward in The Krusty Krab serving the customers

Squidward: Okay, and would you like fries with that?
Customer: No thanks, I'm trying to lose some extra weight.
Squidward: That comes out to $2.99.
Customer: But today's Wednesday.
Squidward: Sorry, sir. But that offer no longer exists.
Customer: Why?
Squidward: Ask my cheap boss!
Mr. Krabs' Voice: I HEARD THAT!
Customer: Fine!

The customer pays for the food and leaves

Squidward: Gee, today's more boring than usual.

Squilliam Fancyson bursts through the front doors

Squilliam: (walks up to Squidward)Hellooooooooooooooooooooo...
Squidward: (gasp) You wouldn't happen to be Squilliam Fancyson? My band class rival!
Squilliam: The one and only.
Squidward: Wha... what are you doing here?
Squilliam: Well, I'm not here to order food.
Squidward: I suppose you're hear to rub another award in my face... literally!
Squilliam: Actually, I'm here to tell you that once again, I'll be winning the Annual Clarinet Contest.
Squidward: The Anual Clarinet Contest, it's back again?
Squilliam: That's right, this very Monday! That leaves you just 3 days to enter and practice playing your Clarinet!

Squidward gulps, nervous

Squidward: You have no right to say you're gonna win! Why, I could be the one holding the trophy!
Squilliam: Is that so? Well then, how many awards have you won since we left Band Class?
Squidward: Well... Uh...
Squilliam: Well, I'd love to stop and chat but my trophy awaits me!

Squilliam leaves

Squidward: Hmph! Squilliam thinks he's so great, but he's just a sloppy octopus!

SpongeBob enters

SpongeBob: What does sloppy mean?
Squidward: I don't know, but it seems like a perfect word to call Squilliam.
SpongeBob: So are you gonna be entering the Clarinet Contest?
Squidward: Of course, I'm gonna prove to Squilliam that I can beat him once and for all!
SpongeBob: Can I help?
Squidward: You help? I think I'd rather let a bunch of rotten chum help me!
SpongeBob: Oh, okay! I'll go get some.
Squidward: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC, YOU IDIOT!

Mr. Krabs opens the door to his office

Mr. Krabs: Pipe down, Mr. Squidward! I can't count me money!

Mr. Krabs slams the door shut

SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. Didn't you and Squilliam used to be best friends back when we were in school?
Squidward: Well... er... yes, but...
SpongeBob: What happened?
Squidward: It's a long story.

Patrick and Pablo get up from a table and walk up to SpongeBob and Squidward

Patrick: Yeah, what did happen?
Pablo: Tell us!
Squidward: (sigh) Well, I guess I've got time to waste. I'll tell the story.

The customers all crowd around Squidward, wanting to hear the story

Squidward: SpongeBob, do you remember the first time you bought Gary from the pet shop?
SpongeBob: Yeah, it was because I had to bring in a pet to school.
Squidward: Well, this story took place not long after that. It was back when me and Squilliam were best friends, constantly laughing at you and Patrick.

Flashback starts