Thief

by myshadowspirit

Naruto took things. He took your patience. He took your time. But most of all, he took hearts. He probably had a whole collection, stuffed somewhere in some basement, like a hoarder who wouldn't let go. Naruto never let go of your heart. And I mean never. He deserved my hatred. He deserved everything.

1. In Hate With You

AN:This is an excuse to write wordy sentences because I like to. I just want to, okay? I feel like this story is gonna piss everyone off, at least, eventually. I don't want to tell people what happens so I don't want to put warnings, but there probably should be warnings. This is rated M. I ship multiple parings, but this will probably be mostly narusaku. (What? Do I even like this paring? I don't know!) At least this chapter is anyway. So if that doesn't piss you off, the other chapters will. I'm writing this for myself so I'm like, this is gonna get people mad. Send me hateful reviews. It's okay. You can send me nice reviews too. I like reviews.

It's in first person, Sakura point of view, because if I'm going to make a story people hate, the main character has to be equally hated. Don't listen to me. Why are you reading this author note? I don't know how to sell anything.

I plan on having five chapters. HAHA I never stick to the plan. This chapter is long. I don't think the other chapters are going to be anywhere near this length, but who knows. I was thinking about writing the whole thing before posting the first chapter but nah... take too long and I might lose interest.

I wanted to write about abusing Naruto emotionally, but from an outside point of view. I don't think I could do Naruto's point of view justice. He's just so... unique.

Don't feel too bad for Naruto. He's a slut. LOL no he's not. He falls in love too easily though. That slut...

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I am Sakura. I love Sasuke-kun and I hate Naruto. This had always been true. From the beginning. Since as long as I could remember, I was in love with Uchiha Sasuke. I don't even remember the first time I saw that beautiful raven-haired boy. It was too long ago, but I do remember announcing my infatuation to all my friends when I was six or seven, like I had just completed the most important task of my entire life.

"Don't tell us it's Sasuke, too!" cried one of the kids. Other people had noticed Sasuke-kun before I did. It's not much of a surprise when you really think about it. I was trapped too much in my fantasy world. I was never really aware of reality as a child. Somewhere, during the time of my infancy, my mother must have read me a princess story. One of those stories where the beautiful princess waits for a prince to save her and lives happily ever after with. That idea had griped me, for I was obviously no beautiful princess, or knew a prince, so I was doomed to never have something known as a 'happily ever after'. My two year old brain probably couldn't even decipher what 'happily ever after' meant. Of course not. Because I still don't know what it means. All I knew was that happy was good, and I must have it.

The first problem of this horrid dilemma that my mother had so carelessly thrown upon me, was that I was not, in no way, an attractive child. Many people would most likely not believe me, but it is true all the same, the evidence of such buried deep in a photo album that I have been unable to burn. My mother sure knew how to hide such things. I had an enormous forehead for a baby, my eyes spaced out too far apart. My mother told me that when I was learning to walk, I went everywhere head first, walls, tables, floors, like I was too top heavy to stay balanced. Later in life I grew into my head, but the trait was something that I was so sensitive about as a kid, that I used to try to hide it in anyway I could. My exotic pink hair just made it so much worse, as the unusual color would attract eyes, and then they would notice my extremely wide forehead.

Ino was the first friend I had. She was my rival. My sister. My drive. My confidence. Ino was pretty. All the pictures in my storybooks of princesses looked like her, flowing blonde hair and pale beautiful blue eyes. She taught me how to be an elegant princess. She taught me hiding my forehead made my problem worse. I should show off my traits with confidence. Confidence was attractive. Because of her, I felt pretty for the first time. She helped me complete the first part of my disillusioned "happily ever after". After that, all I had to do was find my prince.

My prince was Uchiha Sasuke of course. It had to be. He was the most skilled in just about anything in our age group; sports, grades, looks, ninjutsu, taijutsu, eventually genjutsu. He had a making of a real hero. He had all the skills. He would save me and make me happy.

Not Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto was a nobody. He sucked at everything, and he was loud, always getting into trouble. I didn't necessarily hate him then. Not really. I didn't know much of hatred for I was a young child, but as much dislike as I could feel for anyone, was associated to him. It became worse when I realized the little freak had a crush on me. It was downright gross. I was the biggest hypocrite of all seven year olds ever. I was so hooked on the Sasuke-kun craze, dreaming of marrying him, stalking him even, but this boy, who quite politely and kindly expressed his feelings to me, he was the worst thing. Naruto didn't pick on me, or throw rocks at me like most little boys with crushes did. It didn't matter. Naruto was the loser. I didn't like him, just like everyone else. And just like everyone else I liked Sasuke-kun. Nothing was personal.

In honesty, I probably hated Naruto before I was in love with Sasuke-kun. My attraction to Sasuke-kun as a child was based purely on what I could see on the outside, and what I heard from other people. I never talked to him before joining Team Seven. Not really anyway. I might have shouted a hello or a compliment, but it was never a conversation. He had never said anything back to me. It wasn't real love. I'm not sure when it turned real. I can't find that moment in my head when it clicked, and I realized that I hadn't be in love with Sasuke-kun before at all. Maybe because such moments happened at a multitude of times, each one, I would realize that I loved him so much deeper or was capable of than before, me falling even further and further into a hopeless bog of no returning from.

Naruto on the other hand, I can remember the moment of hatred quite clearly.

It was when he climbed up onto Sasuke-kun's desk, for no particular logical reason, glaring down into Sasuke-kun's perfect, unamused face, and fell stealing Sasuke-kun's first kiss.

The kiss that was supposed to be mine.

It didn't matter if it was an accident. I beat the shit out of Naruto regardless, abusing my training at the academy. I knew how to throw a punch.

I was a terrible kid. I treated Naruto horribly for almost the entirety of knowing him during our childhood. Most of the time, I'm humble enough to feel guilt over this, but not over the moment Naruto stole Sasuke-kun's kiss. I should have known then, just what Naruto would put me through. Naruto took things. He took your patience. He took your time. But most of all, he took hearts. He probably had a whole collection, stuffed somewhere in some basement, like a hoarder who wouldn't let go. Naruto never let go of your heart. And I mean never. He deserved my hatred. He deserved everything.

I didn't realize when Naruto took the first, and of course most important, thing from me. I would not learn of it until many years later, and it only took so long because I was stupid. Like I said before, I lived in a fantasy world as a child, and was blind.

I was blind to see that Sasuke-kun was broken when he joined Team Seven with me. Thinking back on it now, I really can't believe how stupid I was. He wasn't broken when I announced Sasuke-kun as my one and only. No, I briefly remembered a whole Sasuke-kun, clinging to his older brother's hand, radiating nothing but cute, lovely perfection. But how was it that I was not able to see the complete change of Sasuke-kun's soul shattering? I of course new about the massacre. Everyone knew of it. I didn't know all the details, but the rumors were everywhere. Yet that didn't really change my way of seeing Sasuke-kun as nothing but my prince. Maybe it did give him just a tad of darkness, a touch of mystery that fueled my naive fantasy. I don't remember very well. Just that I must have been a moron. I had been pursuing Sasuke-kun so hard at the academy that I never noticed when Naruto had took Sasuke-kun's first smile after Sasuke-kun had no more smile's left. He took the first stare, the first look of acknowledgement, after the death of Sasuke-kun's parents. I didn't know when this all happened, but the even stupid me was able to see signs of ... well, of something, by the time we were all twelve.

My first real conversation with Sasuke-kun, I must have been saying mean things about Naruto. What it was wasn't important. I was always saying mean things about Naruto. Everybody did. I was certainly not expecting Sasuke-kun to get angry and defend the idiot. Mostly, because Sasuke-kun had never defended anyone, much less Naruto. He stated that Naruto didn't have parents, that he didn't have anyone or anything. As if that meant he deserved the stuff he took, like my kiss from Sasuke-kun. I listened to Sasuke-kun anyway because anything he said was like a truth from a god. I started caring for Naruto only because Sasuke-kun had made me. That was why I had started. Maybe I would have never cared about any of this if it wasn't for Sasuke-kun. I wouldn't have done anything with my life. I would still be locked in my room at my parents's house, mourning my gigantic forehead.

Following Sasuke-kun's words, I looked at Naruto in a new light, but I was still stupid. I didn't see the other things, the other signs, that Naruto was stealing things.

As young children, we didn't like Naruto. The adults pretty much hated him, us kids took advantage of his status to make fun. We didn't stop picking on him, because he allowed us to. He allowed us to laugh and have as much fun as we pleased, and because of that, even though no one would admit to liking Naruto, we sort of all gravitated towards him. Once we graduated from the academy, we were less likely to deny our liking for the fool, though we weren't completely mature enough to stop our bantering. As we went on missions together, people who had never known Naruto as 'The Loser' admired him. Maybe not right off the bat, as Naruto was never good with tact when it came to some things, but admiration none the less. He made friendships like he stole hearts. Strangers, acquaintances, people that had known of Naruto all his life, they all fell in love with him. We all did. Sasuke-kun's heart was the first to be stolen. No one knew it when it happened. Not even Sasuke-kun. It certainly didn't seem like it at first, as Sasuke-kun's and Naruto's personalties clashed so much, but no one would have ever suspected what was to happen.

If existence could be seen as an art form, Sasuke-kun was an artist. As much as Naruto had always been unbridled passion and power, Sasuke-kun was all about the control. Every movement, every breath, every look was deliberate. His eyes were always focused, his face always concentrating. He moved with grace and beauty, dark hair spilling around his white face is such poetry. Sasuke-kun rarely made mistakes, for he was constantly aware of how he appeared to everyone around him. Anything sad or broken wouldn't be seen by anyone, especially by the likes of me, unless he wanted it to, which he did not. He didn't like anyone. He openly admitted to it. He didn't care about any of the girls that fancied over him. I was only tolerated because it was required as part of Team Seven. Every man was either a nuisance beneath him or a challenger that he had to beat. He was rude. He was mean. He was cold. Yet, I still loved him anyway, with an explanation that I didn't have, except maybe that for some reason, the entire tragic picture of him was just too beautiful to me. Sasuke-kun brooded a lot. Because what was art without a touch of sadness? What was art without just a hint of mystery? He could always be found with plenty of space between him and anyone, sitting, or resting against the wall, his face falling into a state of deep, calculating thought. He was always thinking. Because of this he rarely talked, and when he did, his deep voice was hard, stating things as facts, because what he said must be nothing but. He was too smart. He was thinking too much. Perhaps he had to, to make up for Naruto's lack of thinking. And my own, for whatever thought I had in my head was always revolving around Sasuke-kun and wasn't anything relevant. Our team was a mess. It seemed like such a recipe for failure.

There was constant fighting between Sasuke-kun and Naruto. You didn't antagonize the Uchiha and get away with it, but Naruto was relentless, and Sasuke-kun would not back down. I watched them fall apart, unable to do anything about it. There were times when I thought I would witness the two of them destroy each other. They're hatred for each other, the rivalry, the jealously, it was so intense and hard to understand.

I don't think Kakashi-sensei knew what to do about it either. He seemed to see the combination to be just as unhealthy as it truly was. He favored Sasuke-kun. At the time I thought it was because of Sasuke-kun's obvious skill and prodigy level of ninjutsu. I know now it was because Kakashi-sensei was worried about him. He could sense something wasn't right in his head. Naruto, Kakashi-sensei seemed to ignore all together. Feasibly it could have been because Naruto was too much for him to handle. Or maybe Kakashi-sensei thought Naruto needed to be ignored. As for I, Kakashi-sensei was at a lost of what to do with me as well. I think he felt somewhat uncomfortable around me honestly. He didn't know how to train a female ninja, and sometimes became even nervous around me whenever I informed him I needed feminine supplies while we were out on missions. The only thing Kakashi-sensei seemed to be able to bring himself to do for me was to put a smile on his hidden face, and lie to me calmly that everything was going to be alright, when it wasn't. I believed him anyway. Kakashi-sensei is a very good liar. Naruto is terrible. He would try to lie every once in a while, but it was always followed by a nervous laugh. Because of this when Naruto spoke, it was almost always the truth. Sasuke-kun didn't really lie, though it was mostly because he didn't talk, so he didn't tell the truth either.

We were a dysfunctional team, but I can't deny that we didn't have those golden moments. Well not really me. I didn't know my place in the world, but Sasuke-kun and Naruto, when they weren't fighting each other, they could work miracles. It was really amazing how well they worked together when they tried, like they knew what the other was thinking. They moved as one person, without much communication at all, and I found myself lonely and jealous watching them, like I wasn't part of it. I wasn't part of this team. Kakashi-sensei tried to console me that I was important. Often times, the reason why Sasuke-kun and Naruto had suddenly put aside their differences to fight like magic together was because they were protecting me. Kakashi-sensei tried to tell me I was the glue that held everyone together. It was a lie. Kakashi-sensei's always been a liar.

It wasn't because the two boys were in love with me. I wasn't that important. Hell, I was hardly any help in missions at all. Sure, I knew Naruto had a soft spot for me, and Sasuke-kun had seemed to get over his coldness and trust me over any other girl in the village, but I wasn't their most precious person. No, they were each other's.

I knew Sasuke-kun didn't reciprocate my feelings for him. He had no room for them, because he was too focused on his goal for revenge over his family's massacre. It still didn't matter to me. Revenge was only the first part of his goal after all. The second part was to restore his clan, and for that he was going to need a woman. If he focused so hard on the first part of his goal, I knew he would put just as much effort into the second part. I really thought I was going to have a chance. Sasuke-kun's attitude towards me was slowly changing. He still called me annoying most of the time, but he always kept one eye on me, always anticipating when he had to jump in and save me. I was hopelessly in the way all the time, and sometimes it didn't sit well with me that Sasuke-kun was smart enough to realize that I needed to be saved when I did. Yet he was always so gentle and tender when he picked me up to be swept out of harm's way. His other eye was of course on Naruto. He'd save Naruto too, though less often, and when he did he had no qualms on how he did it, kicking him harshly or shoving him away. I liked to tell myself he was gentler with me because he favored me over Naruto, but I was just more delicate. Even I had to admit there was something extremely satisfying about hitting Naruto. Perhaps both Sasuke-kun and I were addicted to it.

Sasuke-kun once threw himself in front of an attack to save Naruto. To save a precious person, his body had moved on its own, without his control. I had thought Sasuke-kun had died. It was the first time that my heart broke, but it was certainly not the last. I mean really broke. It wasn't like the many rejections Sasuke-kun would causticly throw at me when I asked him out, or being labeled as just as much of a loser as Naruto by him. This was true pain. Real pain when you're not fatally injured at all, but hurts so much more. It was starting to happen; I was falling in deeper. Sasuke-kun being sacrificial was even more endearing. My attachment to him grew once I knew he would risk his life, his goal on revenge, to save someone, so selflessly. I loved him even greater. Things become more precious when you almost lose them.

Sasuke-kun turned out to be alright, the attack not being fatal. I was so happy when I saw him open his eyes to look at me, with what could be called affection, for the first time, that I didn't notice the facts. I didn't think about how Sasuke-kun was willing to die for Naruto. Sasuke-kun was willing to leave me, for Naruto.

Of course Sasuke-kun had been willing to leave me for a lot of things. One of those things included power to kill his brother, Itachi, the murderer of his clan. No one told me about this. I didn't know who Sasuke-kun was so desperate to kill. I had to look it up on my own. I had to do research. Of course Naruto knew before I did. He had somehow knew more about Sasuke-kun than I, despite all of my persistence to be close to the lonely avenger. Naruto had stolen that from me too. Damn that little thief.

Sasuke-kun left me, off to Orochimaru and danger and darkness and revenge, without me. The situation was truly hopeless. There was nothing anyone could do about it. Sasuke-kun chose to leave us, and me seeing him again was close to zero. If I did see him again, he wouldn't be the same. He wasn't my prince. He wasn't going to come save me. We weren't going to live "happily ever after". My dream for the last six to seven years was gone forever. What was the point of existing?

It helped, in a selfish disgusting way, though it shouldn't be surprising because I've always been selfish, that he left Naruto too. Naruto who took things. Naruto who had snatched up the shards of Sasuke-kun's shattered heart and stashed them deep into his pockets. I don't know who was more hopeless and heartbroken with Sasuke-kun's deflection; me or Naruto.

"Don't worry! I'll bring him back! Promise of a lifetime!" Naruto had grinned so easily at me, that huge smile that split his face right in half, his thumb jutted up into the air. Princesses wait for heroes to come and fix their problems for them. Naruto threw his word at me, his promise, his ninja way, and I believed him. I believed that he could fix this. He took my anxiousness, my uneasiness, my tears. I felt all that leave me in a slow sigh, and Naruto took it from me, to stash it wherever he kept all his stolen things.

Of course Naruto failed that first time of trying to get Sasuke-kun back. He failed the second time too. And the third, and countless other times. We came to dead end after dead end, but the two of us, him and I, we didn't give up. Naruto and I were assigned other missions. As I started my medical training, I watched Naruto grow more and more powerful, doing amazing things. The more things he did manage to accomplish, the more hope I had that he would some day too, bring back Sasuke-kun. He had stolen my hope, my faith, my admiration, my loyalty. See what I mean about Naruto taking things? It made me hate him.

This was by far not the only thing I hated about Naruto. Oh no, there were many things. He was disgusting, he never kept his apartment tidy. He had horrible eating habits, and often because of this, had misplaced bodily functions. He was slow, and many things that were important flew over his head if they led to be too complicated. He complained constantly. He was stubborn, and once an idea got into his head, no reasoning could have ever changed his mind. Not that you had time to even try to argue with him as he was rash and would dive straight in. We lost the element of surprise on too many times to count. He had a knack of always getting into trouble. He had a perverted habit, and said things that just pissed me off in general.

He knew very well that I was in love with Sasuke-kun, that I had always been in love with Sasuke-kun, but that didn't stop him from hitting on me. He asked me out on dates more times than I can remember. He had a stupid smile that was affections. He had startling blue eyes that held every emotion he ever felt. His hair was the color of a sunny day.

As he got older, he grew out of his short stature. Well toned muscles glided under tanned skin when he moved like an unstoppable force of nature to whatever task that was set at hand. Girls would become smitten with his charm, him successfully fulfilling his promises to them, saving the day, and following his heart when a mission just didn't seem to set well with him. Naruto was a hero.

I still hated him. You can hate heroes. It's not impossible.

Naruto eventually left me too, you know? For the same reason Sasuke-kun did. While Sasuke-kun was away in parts unknown, seeking power with Orochimaru, Naruto soon left with Master Jiraiya to also train. Don't get me wrong. I snagged myself a Sannin to train with just as well, but I didn't have to go anywhere for it. Tsunade-sama and I were able to complete it all at home. I never could understand why Sasuke-kun and Naruto couldn't just do the same.

I missed both of them of course. I lamented over missing Naruto's obnoxious interruptions through out the day, and I longed for Sasuke-kun at night. My dreams were filled with Sasuke-kun returning, sneaking into my bedroom, his hands on my body-and then I would wake up. That, or Naruto would suddenly be in my dream, ruining the moment, but I wasn't even too upset when that happened. Dreaming about the two of them was better than being awake without them. Yet, it did bother me slightly when my brain would get Sasuke-kun and Naruto mixed up. It seemed like such an obvious mistake, as the two were so different, but I told myself it was normal. I had never spend too much time with Sasuke-kun without Naruto. The brain often gets confused in dreams.

Naruto seemed to be gone forever. Life in the village was too quiet, its people, like blood, pumped and moved so slowing though the heart, that life seemed barely alive at all. I wasn't the only one that missed Naruto's presence. Everyone did. They didn't really have a right to miss him though, not after the way they had treated Naruto in the past. Perhaps Hinata had a right to, but she would have been the only exception.

And me, because I felt like such a right was obligated to me. Naruto was part of my team. I had already lost Sasuke-kun. Naruto was more my hero than anyone else's because he had given me his word. Not that he hadn't given words to others, but my promise hadn't been fulfilled yet. Naruto still owed me, and until then, he would be mine. It wasn't because I wanted Naruto all to myself. It wasn't because I was in love with him. No, because I was in love with Sasuke-kun. Such facts were obvious when the both of them were around, but with Sasuke-kun gone, I couldn't see before me how Sasuke-kun was better than Naruto. And when Naruto was gone, I could not see how Naruto was worse.

Two and a half years went by before I saw Naruto again. Puberty started somewhere during that time span. He was no full grown man, that was for sure, but it was enough time for his voice to become more deeper, his hight to grow taller than I, and his movements more graceful. He still had that insanely yellow hair. His eyes still shown with every emotion he ever felt, and his smiled was still attractive. I had grown just enough to have those hormones, to have me blushing over him like the young girl I was. If he was all grown up now, if I felt these things after two and a half years, perhaps I would think of Naruto differently. He use to like me after all. He still liked me. Could he have liked me more now that I had grown?

"Are you kidding? Not really! You haven't changed at all!"

And if hearing him say things like that wasn't infuriating enough, Naruto had to discuss with Konohamaru who's sexy jutsu was better. Apparently, it was something they did often. You know, the young females they created to be the epitome of the perfect woman. Girls who weren't me. I was so angry. I was so furious with him in that one moment. I wanted to rip his clothes off. I wanted to see how the muscles in his torso had changed. I wanted to see what was beneath the rim of his pants.

But of course I didn't do that. I wasn't that insane. I did what I always did instead; Beat him into a bloody pulp. It was the closest thing I could do to what I really wanted to physically do to him. Whenever I had that feeling, to suddenly want to touch his body, I would just hit him. This is all because I hated him. He made me this way.

Naruto always annoyed me. Even more now that he was older. I hadn't thought it possible since the young boy was always getting on my nerves all the time with how immature he'd been. But now, more mature, it was worse. It wasn't just his body, though, I did find it annoying the way other women would look at him, but he was always getting himself in danger, needlessly hurting himself. He had the nine tails in him. He was a fast healer and sometimes seemed indestructible, but I still hated seeing him get hurt. I hated him hurt because that meant I had to heal him, and healing him meant putting my hands on different parts of him. Sometimes I thought he did it on purpose, just an excuse for me to touch him, like some pervy asshole who had no concern for his own well being.

Naruto was always full of himself, even when he had nothing to back it up with, but promises that he would be the next Hokage. Now that he had gotten stronger, it was unbearable. At first, I was impressed. Naruto always impressed me. Of course, because I was pathetic, and even though I had my few moments to shine and show off my unbelievable chakra control, the moment ended, and Naruto was again more incredible than I. Without Sasuke-kun around, there was no one more so.

I will admit, that all this anger, this jealousy and my short temper was most likely sexual frustration. At first I would kid myself that I was just at that age, my body was changing and I was craving to test out my sexuality. Naruto was just an eligible young male that I was constantly around. These sudden feelings for him had nothing to do with me being attracted to him specifically.

But I knew in the back of my head that I was making excuses. I was wrong. Why should I be so dazzled by Naruto's determination, his quick wit, his unorthodox methods? None of that was part of physical attraction. I was falling for Naruto's heart.

I cried over Sasuke-kun countlessly. I could have made an ocean with so many tears. I cried because he had left. But Naruto, Naruto gave me so many other reasons to cry. I cried over that he was the nine tails container, that the Akatsuki were after him. I cried when he couldn't control the demon inside of him and his own body worked against him. I cried whenever he cried, which was quite often for a boy. I tried to keep my tears in moderation. A ninja wasn't supposed to show emotion, and I knew I was very bad at following that rule. Naruto, he didn't even care about the rule at all. He openly cried in front of anyone for anyone. And of course, we'd both cry over Sasuke-kun.

I don't know why I was so emotional all the time. I couldn't blame it on being young. I couldn't blame it on having a tragic past. Others had always had it worse than me, and no one more worse than Naruto. Why was it that I would get so scared whenever Naruto was hurt, even though I knew he would be fine? He was always fine. His healing abilities were uncanny. But I didn't want to rely on that. It was just like me to think that Naruto was fine like all the other times he had been, only to find out this time, he was not.

"I won't ever die on you, Sakura-chan," he told me so seriously after a nine tails episode that I was healing him over. "I'm not going anywhere yet," he would grin. "I have too much to do. I have to bring Sasuke back, become Hokage and even after that, I won't ever leave you behind. I'll make sure you're never alone." And that sent me sobbing, Naruto reading me so well. I had always feared of being left behind.

I knew, I would most likely would have fallen in love with Naruto. I would have wanted to, eventually, go out with him, start a relationship, maybe even get married.

But I wasn't in love with him. I was still in love with Sasuke-kun. I had forgotten how much until I saw that cold Uchiha again.

If I thought the years had been kind to Naruto, I had no idea what they would have done to someone who was already so beautiful as Sasuke-kun was. When I first saw him, I had no control over my body. I could say no words, even though there was so much I wanted to tell him, wanted to ask him. All I could do was whimper out his name as I was totally lost in the sight of him.

He stood against the sun, a perfect silhouette, like a grand opening for the bane of my existence to reenter my life, a bane that I would gladly welcome back. I couldn't have forgotten his face with how often I stared at my picture of him, but my eyes had focussed on features that were less prominent now, and age had made parts of his face that I had never really notice before stand out. I had never realized that I was in love with the way that Sasuke-kun's cheeks sat on his face, or the curve of his chin and the angle of his jaw. I loved the way his neck sloped into the broad shoulders that Sasuke-kun used to not have. I wanted to press my lips to the adam's apple that had developed upon his throat. His hair was a tad longer than it was in my picture. It danced in the wind as this man stared down at me. My eyes drifted downward over what was exposed of his chest. The fabric open, each plain and muscle developed faultlessly. His lethal body seemed relaxed, but poised for some devastating attack that I was sure he could perform in the blink of an eye. He was oh so much taller than before.

And of course there were things about him that were the same, that I instantly recognized and had always loved. The way his eyes could bore into souls, dark, thoughtful, menacing, the way he would have had always stared at an enemy. His stance was the same, cool, but collected. The way he said both of Naruto's and my name, hard, like a demand. This was Uchiha Sasuke. But even the similarities were still different. They were more cold, and even harsher than before.

I was the first one to see him. I saw him before Naruto did, though Naruto wasn't too far behind me as he rushed into the open air. My name was the first word Sasuke-kun uttered, but once Naruto was in our presence, Naruto's name was soon next, and all of Sasuke-kun's attention was stolen by Naruto. They even went so far as to have a conversation with each other. About, I had no idea, even though I was there, just that it seemed like Sasuke-kun wanted to kill Naruto. But Sasuke-kun had always acted like he wanted to kill Naruto. Hell, I wanted to kill Naruto, for he was just standing there, in the center of Sasuke-kun's attention.

And then Sasuke-kun was gone. Like he always would be. He was always gone.

---

"I'm sorry," I said, finally catching Naruto alone as the rest of our team had already headed for bed. We stood outside of the fire temple, Naruto grabbing some fresh air before ending his day.

Naruto stared at me with his bewildered crystal blue eyes for about ten seconds, before the rest of his face fell into a frown, his brow arching skeptically. I was annoyed at first that he was confused, until I realized that maybe he had a right to be this time. I very rarely ever apologized to Naruto.

"For assuming..." I paused, trying to figure out how to word this correctly, "that you were kissing the enemy on your own accord. Even you wouldn't stoop so low. I should have realized that it was part of a deadly jutsu and acted in haste to help you rather than scold you. If I had kept my mouth shut, maybe my attack could have landed its hit."

"Oh!" Naruto's eyes changed, suddenly radiating now that he understood what I was talking about. "Yeah, that slut tried to catch me with her death kiss jutsu . You know me, Sakura-chan, I wouldn't be caught by the charms of the enemy no matter how attractive they are!" He laughed, a slight nervous laugh, the type of laugh that would sometimes accompany a failed attempted lie. "And she wasn't even my type to begin with so she didn't have a chance. Me falling for that? Ha! I invented sexy jutsu ! I'm practically immune to being seduced!"

"Okay, that's enough!" He was talking too much. Naruto never knew when to shut up. "I'm just sorry, okay? Do you accept my apology?"

"Of course I do, Sakura-chan!" and there it was, that beaming smile. "Not the weirdest thing to happen to me."

I grunted. It certinly wasn't. Anything weird happening was always Naruto related. "Though I feel kinda bad," I said, an air of teasing now lacing my voice. "Your first kiss from a girl was trying to kill you," I couldn't help it. It was funny. Well, it became funny once I realized that Naruto wasn't really locking lips with the woman because he wanted to, and that he turned out to be okay afterwards when she couldn't handle his chakra.

"That wasn't my first kiss!" Naruto defended.

I glared at him. "I said first kiss from a girl, moron! Sasuke-kun doesn't count!" It irked me that Naruto would constantly use that accident with Sasuke-kun as a real kissing experience. Sure, people made fun of him for it, but it wasn't a real kiss. There was no intention, or desire so what was the point?!

"Why shouldn't it count?" Naruto replied, crossing his arms stubbornly. "I'm not ashamed." Ha! He sure seemed to be when his other friends tormented him about it. This new attitude was only to vex me. I knew it.

"Because it was an accident."

Naruto blew air through his lips. "Are you going to say the other time with him was an accident too?"

I had started to walk away from him, assuming our conversation was just about done, but I spun around sharply at this news. "What other time?!"

"Remember? When Sasuke and I were stuck together? We tried to pull apart from that weird stretchy stuff and smacked back. I'm pretty sure I had tongue in my mouth that time. That's gotta be extra points or something."

"WHAT?! What do you mean?!"

Naruto stared at me like I was the moron. He held up a finger from each hand, holding them together. "This is Sasuke," he motioned with one hand. "And this is me, and we jumped from a waterfall, aiming a rock in between us and then we bounced," Naruto illustrated with his hands. "splat!" he clapped his hands together.

I frowned at him. "That doesn't sound like an intentional kiss either!"

"Okay, whatever. But if an accident keeps happening, maybe it's not such an accident. I'm just saying!"

"Shut up! Sasuke-kun wouldn't do it on purpose!"

Naruto shrugged.

I hit him. I liked to do that.

"Ow!" He rubbed his shoulder. "Well anyway. I've been kissed by a girl before too," he grinned.

"What? Who on earth?!"

"Isaribi," Naruto announced with the smuggest look that I had ever seen on his face.

It took me a moment to realize who he was talking about. I normally had a very good memory when it came to faces and names. Then it came to me. "Isaribi? That outcast girl from the Land of the Sea?!" She had followed Naruto home after one of his missions. It wasn't much surprising, since at this point in Naruto's life, girls started to take notice of him. She had stayed in the village for a time, Naruto being her only friend, and he had made extra effort to pay attention to her. She had eventually left as she felt she didn't fit in the village, much to Naruto's extreme disappointment.

"Yep! Kissed me right on the lips," he said, tapping his mouth.

"I don't believe you."

"What?!" Naruto's eyes and mouth opened wide in shock. "It happened!"

"Yeah, whatever." I turned up my nose.

"Why don't you believe me?! You jealous or something?"

I let out an unimpressed laugh. "Why would I be jealous for?!"

"I don't know." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Have you ever been kissed before, Sakura-chan?"

I blushed and tried to hide it by facing away from him. It was for naught though because Naruto saw my reaction before I could conceal it, and even a simpleton as he could read the expression.

"You haven't?!" I wanted to smack him. Naruto was loud and I didn't exactly want him to announce to everyone that I had never been kissed before. The both of us were already fifteen, and the likes of Naruto had gotten more action than I had. "Not even by Bushy Brow?"

"What? Of course not! Why would I ever kiss him for?"

"I don't know. I just remember hearing Bushy Brow say if he didn't kiss you within a year, he'd do one million laps around the village on his thumbs."

I thought for a moment, remembering him doing just that a few years back. "Well that explains that, then."

"Wow! I can't believe you've never been kissed before, Sakura-chan!"

"What's that supposed to mean?! Who the hell do you think I'd be kissing?!"

"Well, I-" and then he stopped himself, suddenly aware of what should have been a most obvious fact. The reason was because Sasuke-kun had left. "Whoa. So... you're just gonna wait around for Sasuke then." He didn't say it as a question, though I don't think he understood the statement. He just knew it to be my intention. After a pregnant silence, I suddenly decided I had enough of Naruto's company and was ready for bed, but he spoke again as I was moving away. "You really going to just wait for him? I mean, you're not gonna kiss anybody, until he comes back? You might have to wait for a long time."

I clenched my fists. "So what of it!?"

"It's just, it's not like he's going to wait for you. I mean he's already kissed me twice-" And that was it. That was as much patience as I could handle. I swung at him, letting my chakra solidify around my first for a deadly blow.

You'd think Naruto would never learn. He continually would stick his foot deeper into his mouth and you realized that he would never change or grow from his mistakes.

Until he did.

Naruto anticipated my attack and dodged, grabbing my wrist. "I'm just saying!" he exclaimed, out of breath when my fist hit a tree he had been in front of and it cracked the wood. "Is just that you might want to practice before you try to do it with the one you really want. You know, so it's not awkward and gross. Like training!"

"What are you saying?" I growled.

"Just that if you wanted to practice or something... I'm willing to help you, you know, share some of my experience with you."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE! You're just trying to get me to kiss you!"

"No I'm not! I mean, it's a perk but-"

"Shut up! No way in hell! I'm never, ever, ever going to kiss you, so stop trying!"

"Man, Sakura-chan! You're always so harsh! I was just trying to help you out!"

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "trying to help me out," mockingly. "Goodnight Naruto!"

"G'night!" he responded unfazed from my rejection. He never was. He'd continue again some other time. The dimwit never gave up.

As I got ready for bed, I found myself thinking about Naruto's offer. First, because I was angry at the suggestion, and I couldn't sleep while I was mad, but the more I thought about it, the more I imagined it happening. The idea of Naruto's warm mouth against mine didn't seem as unpleasing when he tried to kiss me at seven. I didn't believe that Naruto had cooties anymore. He wasn't completely disgusting. He even had many attributes that were attractive about him.

But no, I would never kiss him. I was in love with Sasuke-kun. Sasuke-kun would be my first kiss.

Yet, what if I never saw Sasuke-kun again? The thought was something I had felt often, everyday even, the misery slowly draining away my will. I had to constantly build myself up again, get myself to be stronger, as the exhausting feeling would weakened me. Maybe that was why I never felt like I made much progress in my training.

I shook my head and laid down onto my sleeping mat. No, I couldn't give up. Naruto wasn't giving up on him. How could I? I was the one in love with Sasuke-kun. I was going to save him. The notion kept me going.

That, and thinking about Naruto. In a strange way, it helped me considerably to see how dedicated Naruto still was into finding Sasuke-kun. Naruto would talk about Sasuke-kun all the time, even though the name had become taboo for everyone else in the village. I knew I couldn't rescue Sasuke-kun by myself, or convince anyone else that he was important enough to save, not without Naruto's help.

Sometimes, Naruto and I would sit together and do nothing but talk about Sasuke-kun. We brought up old memories, laughing at Sasuke-kun's weird personality quirks and tell each other how much we missed him. The conversation would bubble inside me, and make me feel hopeful and good again. Naruto talked more than I, and listening to him say nothing but good things about Sasuke-kun, I knew he cared just as much for him as I did. Sometimes I would feel it was all for my sake, that tad, little bit of guilt, that Naruto was only doing all of this to get me to like him, but it couldn't be. How could Naruto be this devoted to Sasuke-kun, just for me?

I smiled to myself. Naruto, always worming his way into my thoughts. He always had my back, no matter what. I could break every bone in his body and he'd still be willing to come help me at any sort of problem I had. Perhaps, kissing him, just for practice anyway as he put it, could be a good idea. If I made it clear that it was just practice, it wasn't like Naruto was going to betray me. I could trust him to understand. Naruto would still be willing to kiss me anyway.

This way of thinking hid all the guilt that such things could hurt Naruto's feelings. Naruto was so strong. I had seen him do so much. He had been just fine whenever I beat him up afterwards. Sure, maybe I had to heal a few bones sometimes, but he never blamed me. It never occurred to me that I could hurt Naruto's feelings. Perhaps at fifteen, I was still rather dumb.

---

"Arugh!" Naruto somehow made the ungodly noise as he drank the water I offered him at the same time. "Thanks, Sakura-chan," he said quickly before downing more of it. "Why are people so aggravating! First it was Sai, now it's Sora, I mean come on! It's not hard to not be difficult!"

"I'm sure you'll get to Sora eventually. You always do," I said wistfully. Naruto knew my thoughts were going to Sasuke-kun once again. His gaze hardened on mine, as if saying 'I couldn't get through to Sasuke.' I smiled at him. "Just give it more time," an answer for both situations. "You've been training very hard. No use overworking your body because of stress."

"Yeah, the training, in a weird way sort of relaxes me. Do you get what I mean? It might be different with you though. Medical training boggles my mind. I feel like it must just give you a headache."

I laughed and waved my hand. "I'm not saying it doesn't get complicated sometimes, but I wouldn't say it gives me a headache. Actually though," I smiled at him, becoming nervous all of a sudden. "I was wondering if you could... help me out, on some ... 'training'."

"I don't know, Sakura-chan," Naruto sighed, sucking on the water bottle while still talking around it. "I've never been very good at that type of stuff. Unless you need to borrow some chakra, but that's the only thing I think I can offer."

"It's not medical training," I said, averting my gaze away.

"Chakra control? I'm super bad at that!"

"No you buffoon! Remember? You said you'd 'help me out' with that other thing?" We weren't in hearing distance of anyone, but Asuma-sensei and Sora were still on the other side of the training grounds.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at me. I watch them widen like he remembered what I was talking about before shaking his head and rethinking. "Do I... owe you money?"

"No! The experience you have more than me?"

"With the nine tails?"

I put my hand over my forehead, losing my nerve. "Forget it, Naruto. It's nothing." I turned to leave, but Naruto grabbed my wrist.

"No! I wanna help!"

I sighed. "You don't even know what is it."

"It doesn't matter! I'd help you with anything, Sakura-chan!" I stared at Naruto, not letting such a statement effect me. Naruto was always making promises unknowingly to girls. I had watched so many of them fall in love under his gaze. It could take as little as two seconds, and Naruto never had any idea on what he had just done. I wasn't going to be as foolish as they were. I had already made that mistake over Sasuke-kun.

"Okay, come on," I said, pulling my grip easily out of Naruto's hand before taking his arm. I led him to a more heavily treed aria. "We'll do it over here."

"W-w-wh-what!? Do it?! This is so sudden! I-I-I don't know if I'm ready! We're not prepared!"

I smacked him "NO moron! The kiss thing!"

I watched Naruto wordless repeat 'kiss' with his mouth as his mind worked on over drive to stay with me. "You mean you want me to give you your first kiss?"

I groaned. "Just to get it over with, okay?! Nothing more than that!" I said quickly, wishing I could back out of this now. But it was too late. All my chances were gone.

A sudden seriousness incased Naruto's face. "I'd be honored to give you your first kiss, Sakura-chan."

I was taken a back for second before I regained myself. "There's gotta be rules though," I said holding up a finger. "Just one kiss. Nothing more." Naruto nodded. "And keep your hands to yourself."

"Of course."

"Don't tell anyone!"

"I won't."

"Just one kiss," I repeated, staring at Naruto's mouth apprehensively. He was waiting for me to make the first move. I realized I was going to have to stand on my tiptoes. That annoyed me. He realized my predicament as well, and tiled his head so that the rise to meet him was less of a distance.

I bit back a sigh. I couldn't believe I was kissing Naruto. Or maybe I could believe it. I pressed my mouth against his, finding that my hand went to his arm to keep my balance. He lowered his head further, lips still locked with mine as my heal returned to the ground. This wasn't so bad. I should pull away now. The deed had been done.

But before I could, I felt Naruto's lips push against mine. I should do the same, right? That was how one was supposed to kiss, but Naruto kept moving his lips and before I knew it, I felt wet, warm saliva as they parted. Then his tongue grazed my bottom lip.

I pushed him away. "Ew! Gross!" I immediately wiped my mouth. He blinked wildly at me. "Who said you could try to put your tongue in my mouth!?"

"You didn't say not to," Naruto said simply.

I couldn't believe I forgot that rule. "Well I meant to!" I wiped my mouth again. I couldn't get the feeling of Naruto's dried saliva off my lip. The kiss had started out nice enough, but then of course Naruto had to ruin it.

"Sorry."

"It's fine," I heard myself saying. It wasn't Naruto's fault. Naruto was only doing what I had asked of him. "Thanks."

Naruto beamed.

And I wondered, how many other first kisses would Naruto manage to steal from others.

---

She had to be the greatest kinoichi in history. I've done a lot of study, and there wasn't anyone who even came close to her. We lived in a rather sexist society. The majority of the ninja population had always been men. It made sense, I guess. The stupidly of playing war was very much a man's game, yet some women were just so much better at it.

I honestly wasn't sure how Tsunade-sama did it. When it came to actual, physical power, there was no one to rival her in the village, expect for, maybe, Naruto, if he ever could learn how to control his chakra. When it came to strategy, and brains, she was right up there with all the great leaders of the five nations. When it came to medical ninjutsu she was the best ever. It didn't matter if she was a woman. She was better than most of the men. And still she was beautiful, over fifty and still looking in her twenties.

She had perfect nails, perfect hair, a constant expression that you didn't dare mess with. She had a bust size larger than I ever would like to admit to and still kept her slim waist. How was it that she could have everything? She was one of the legendary Sannin. She was the one that first had the idea to have a medical ninja on every three man squad. There was no one I respected, looked up to, or wanted to be more, than my teacher.

I thought so highly of her, that I couldn't see her being anything but completely in control of any sort of situation. All people have faults. I knew she had one fiery temper. Hell, I had a fiery temper. But it was hard to see any of the three Sannin as the humans they really were. You couldn't see any of them actually dying, no matter how much I wished Orochimaru would. The three of them were just simply too powerful.

But they could die. First we heard of Orochimaru's death, but that didn't bring back Sasuke-kun. And then it was Master Jiraiya. Tsunade-sama was the only one left.

Several weeks had past since the Toad Sage's death. It made the office of the Hokage feel colder, but nothing stopped. Time didn't stop. Life didn't stop. Everyone carried on as usual. It wasn't too hard for the village to do so. Master Jiraiya had never been in the village for long. His absence wasn't something obviously noticed.

Tsunade-sama acted how she always did, as the Hokage. She carried on so normally, that I was surprised. I was shocked when I found her. I never really thought of Tsunade-sama as the type of person that hid her emotions. A woman with a temper such as her's shows lots of feelings. I know. But I'm nothing like Tsunade-sama. You can't even attempt to compare me to her greatness. I have never been good at concealing my feelings. Tsunade-sama, of course, was. She was a ninja. She was the Hokage. She had to.

But even the Hokage shows weakness every once in awhile.

I had been staying out late, working and practicing my medical training. I always had to be doing things to make me feel like I was being helpful. I hardly was ever at my house when not on missions. The reason was to avoid my parents. I would rather be with the injured and dying, than discuss with my parents my rather large interest in a certain, rouge ninja.

Hospitals involved lots of paperwork. There was a lot of people to keep track of. I didn't mind the paperwork actually. It was relaxing, and reading things in your own head is a nice change over trying to order people around all day. Tsunade-sama was not only the Hokage, but was often in charged with what went on in the hospital, and because of this, most important forms could be found in her office. When I noticed her light was still on, I decided to go in there to get a copy of a needed form, figuring it would be quicker than trying to dig it up elsewhere. I had also planned on asking her a question about a specific patient.

Tsunade-sama always pretended to be annoyed if your interrupted her. Who wouldn't, with Naruto being constantly annoying all the time, antagonizing her and wanting more work to do, but she wasn't actually annoyed. She looked forward to it because it gave her a distraction from her work. Tsunade-sama didn't like paper work. I knew she would have accepted my visit with a smile and would be glad to answer my question.

But when I knocked on her door, I got a very disgruntled grunt in responds. I didn't even realize it was Tsunade-sama that had made the noise. I embarrassingly thought it was a man.

When I opened the door, I was beheld with the sight of Tsunade-sama laying flat on her back on top of her desk, piles of paper spilt on the floor. She had one leg casually bent and resting on her raised knee. One hand sat on her stomach, as another one clutched a glass. Her listless honey brown eyes stared at the ceiling so intently, that I looked up as well to see what could be so interesting. I don't know why that was the first thing I noticed; the ceiling. Maybe I was trying not to notice the flush that covered over Tsunade-sama's skin. I didn't want to admit to what I had stumbled upon.

"Whadda ya want," Tsunade-sama snapped, voice heavy with saki and there was no pretending now.

"Oh. It's not important. I just..." I shouldn't have bothered her. I could have gotten the paper somewhere else. I tried to think of something to say that would allow me to leave without looking rude. There was nothing. So instead I blurted out, "Are you alright Tsunade-sama?" because I could never resist trying to be helpful, even when I wasn't of any help at all. How could this have happened? "Where's Lady Shizune?" Shizune would have never let this happen. Tsunade-sama was always trying to sneak a drink or two in while she worked, but Shizune kept a close eye on her.

Tsunade-sama jutted her thumb to the other side of the desk. A quick peak from me discovered Shizune past out on the floor behind. "Kid's a fucking light weight," Tsunade-sama rasped.

"Should we-"

"She's fine. She's just asleep. You think I wouldn't know that?! Whadda ya want anyway, Sakura?"

"Nothing! It was nothing really, I'll just-"

"Nah, stay Sakura! Give me some company." Tsunade-sama grabbed my wrist and yanked me around the desk. "Have a seat." I found myself landing on the Hokage's chair. "It's good karma. When you're old everyone dies on you. Maybe some young person will be nice enough to give you some company someday. Shizune's not doing a good job." She then said in a louder voice directed to Shizune's still form, "Jiraiya could keep up with me, ya know!"

With the mentioning of Master Jiraiya's name, I realized what this was all about, and I became even more uncomfortable. If it was anyone else, I think I would have been able to find words of comfort, but not Tsunade-sama. She was the Hokage. She was supposed to be helping others and not needing the help herself. Of course, I knew she was only human. She needed aid. But what could I do? I could always do nothing.

"Did you..." I started, trying to get the most information out of the situation as I could before proceeding. "Did you guilt Lady Shizune into drinking with you?" I still couldn't get over the fact that Shizune let this happen. She was the one that was supposed to be keeping Tsunade-sama in check. She should be doing this now.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Tsunade-sama responded. "I don't make anyone do anything!" I narrowed my gaze at her suspiciously. "You want one?" Tsunade-sama offered, staring at me upside down from where she laid on the desk, nudging a small cup already full of saki in my direction.

"Tsunade-sama, I'm not of age," I responded.

Tsunade-sama laughed, a loud breath bursting from her lips. "I guess not, huh? Old enough to kill but not old enough to drink. How messed up is that?"

"Tsunade-sama-"

"This world's fucked up."

"It'll be alright," I said, a line that I think I had used a thousand times. It was what I would say when I was protecting my charge. I would say it to the frightened villagers. I would console a child with those words. I would say them to Naruto. But Tsunade-sama, she was too wise and experience to take comfort in trivial lies. I continued on anyway, for she was staring at me with thoughtful eyes. "We will figure this all out. I'm sure the Leaf will survive this. We will get rid of the Akatsuki. I'll do my best-"

Tsunade-sama burst out laughing again. "I wanted to tell you something, Sakura." She reached out an arm to point at me. "I wanted to tell you not to get old like me, but it's too late for you. You're already damaged a little. Just gonna get worse with age." Tsunade-sama sighed. "The only thing old people can do is tell the younger generation to not turn out like them, and then watch as they turn out just the same. The world's fucked up!"

I pressed my lips together. I didn't know what to say. I never knew what to do. I sat there, uncomfortable, in the Hokage's chair. Why did Naruto ever want to be in this chair? Why did Naruto ever want to go out of his way to try to help people's problems, to be in situations like this?

"I'm sorry," Tsunade-sama suddenly said. "I'm a terrible person. Forgive me."

"Oh, no, Tsunade-sama! You're not-"

"I am! Don't argue with me!" I shut my mouth. I didn't dare too. I never did. "Whadda 'bout you Sakura? How are you doing? How are you feeling?"

"I-I'm doing fine." Tsunade-sama didn't believe my lie.

She pushed herself up to a sitting position on her desk. Her arms seemed to strain under her own weight, her breasts threatening to drag her back down again. Her skin was flushed as she turned to face me. "Listen, Sakura, I like you. You're one of my favorites." She narrowed her eyes. "Don't tell Shizune. That's not what I mean. I mean, you have so much potential. It's really... incredible. But I'm worried about you."

"Worried about me?" At the moment, Tsunade-sama seemed to be in need of more worrying. I was afraid she was going to fall off her desk.

"I don't want you to waste it all, ya know? Don't waste all your potential chasing after that Uchiha boy."

Tsu-Tsunade-sama!" I stammered, blushing and looking away. I hated talking about this. I hated talking about this with anyone. I would refuse to talk about Sasuke-kun with anyone unless it was with Naruto. Naruto was the only one that was on my side.

"Shudup for a moment and let me talk. Just listen for a second." She swayed a little, holding up her hand. "Men die," she said harshly. "They fucking die on us, because they're fucking stupid." She jabbed a finger into my arm. "There's nothing we can do to change them. They're just stupid."

I let out a breath. This was about Master Jiraiya after all, but I couldn't help feel the feeling of dread. Sasuke-kun would die, wouldn't he? The path he was traveling on was heading straight to his demise. I felt my chest tighten and my eyes begin to burn. No Sakura, don't cry in front of Tsunade-sama. For once in your life, don't cry.

"You don't have to be only about him, ya know? Sure, I understand Sasuke Uchiha was your first love. That's a real thing. But the heart doesn't always have to love once. We seem to live too long for that."

I blinked, trying to keep my eyes under control as Tsunade-sama continued.

"And Naruto," Tsunade-sama gritted her teeth and shook her head. "I'm not trying to set you up or anything. Ignore this if I'm wrong, but if you have any sort of feelings for that idiot you better do something before it's too late. Soon, the little fuck'll be dead too. There just too much the same," she muttered.

I quickly wiped away a tear before she could notice. She was talking about Master Jiraiya again. Naruto was like Master Jiraiya. Tsunade-sama and Master Jiraiya had never been a couple, but when they were together, anyone could sense the chemistry between them. The two of them knew each other for so long, it was a wonder why they hadn't gotten together yet. Of course, now Master Jiraiya was dead. Tsunade-sama was feeling regret. She was hating herself so she let herself get trashed in her own office.

"Forgive me," Tsunade-sama said again. "Ignore me. I'm a terrible person. I shouldn't be upsetting you like this." She pushed herself to the edge of the desk, her feet hitting the floor. "Help me get Shizune to bed, will ya?" I got up to carry the Hokage's other student, the drunken, lonely words of Tsunade-sama burning into my chest.

---

Me falling for Sasuke-kun was like sinking slowly into a bog, as I mentioned before. I willingly walked into its darkness. Maybe from faraway, it looked like a nice pleasant field, but it certainly was not. I kept sinking and sinking as time went on. It was inescapable.

Falling in... well in hate, we will call it, with Naruto, was like standing at the edge of a cliff. Curiosity kept pulling me closer to the edge, even though the signs in my mind told me caution. I had been able to keep to the cliff's edge for a long time, despite the situation. Sasuke-kun was gone. People expected me to move on. Naruto and I were so close. I don't know if it was the talk that pushed me over the edge, or kept me stubbornly hanging on. Tsunade-sama often preached that us women didn't need any men, but I knew she would have preferred me to choose Naruto over Sasuke-kun. Captain Yamato noticed it, and he hadn't even known Naruto and I for very long. I suppose me crying at my uselessness to help Naruto find Sasuke-kun made me look quite pathetic, and it was clear how Naruto's pain was effecting me. I cared about Naruto, and it was well beyond over the fact that Naruto gave me his word to save Sasuke-kun. Captain Yamato, in his calm, comforting, logical voice told me that my feelings for Naruto were obvious. Sai had said something. Sai who felt nothing, noticed. Sai, who had been reading about how to interact with people, and who I was beginning to think was teaching himself on how to flirt with me, thought I was in love with Naruto. This was according to his books anyway. But neither of those people or their words had pushed me over the edge.

No. It had been Hinata.

Naruto had always been somewhat of an every day hero. He helped people. He stole hearts. He did things that seemed impossible. He was able to solve problems in unconventional ways. He was a ninja, but Naruto rarely had to kill anyone. Any life he did take wasn't much of a life anymore anyway. He saved the enemy almost as often as he saved the people who he was to protect. If he couldn't save a life he had at least stolen their heart before they were gone. It was truly amazing. We were at war with the Akatsuki and he wasn't taking lives.

The attack by Pein was truly devastating to the village. So many people around us were dying. I was doing all I could to save as many as possible, but right in the midst of that, the hospital was gone in a pile of rubble, and so was the village.

Then Naruto came and solved everything. It was like the catastrophe was erased as souls that should have been gone were returned. He defeated a great enemy, and still he didn't even kill Pein himself. He only changed his heart. All single handedly.

If there was anyone in the village that still held dislike for Naruto, it was now long gone. It was also sometime during all this chaos that Hinata had confessed the feelings she had had for Naruto since as long as anyone had known her for.

Hinata had always loved Naruto. Probably just as long as I had been in love with Sasuke-kun, if not longer. Everyone knew this. Well, everyone knew this except for Naruto.

Naruto had been hated by the villagers for so long, that I think he might have been in shock. There was something there that wouldn't let him understand Hinata's confession. Over time, Naruto had gained many friends, and he loved them fiercely, using them to replace his lack of family. The love for them was so strong, perhaps he didn't know the difference in what Hinata had meant. To Naruto, Hinata couldn't be in love with him, because he never thought anyone could be. I had continually denied him, despite how much Naruto had impressed me, despite how much I cared for him. I wouldn't have been surprised if I had became the closest person to Naruto after Sasuke-kun left, and yet I wouldn't return his feelings. I don't think Naruto thought it was possible for anyone to, if I couldn't.

And I, a selfish and terrible person as I've always had been, panicked. One of my greatest fears was losing both Sasuke-kun and Naruto to death while I was too helpless to prevent it, but I don't think that was the worst fear I had. The reason why that fear was so prominent, why I was so desperately afraid of it happening, was because of the worst fear; I would wind up alone. Sasuke-kun would never return, and Naruto would eventually give up chasing after me. Maybe I was afraid of this happening, because I knew it was my future. It was what I deserved. I was no better than the other villagers when judging Naruto in the beginning. I had fallen for Sasuke-kun because I thought him better than Naruto. It served me right when Sasuke-kun turned out to be how he was. I deserved this.

I thought I had accepted my fate, but I hadn't at all. Without Sasuke-kun and Naruto, what was I? Sakura Haruno? Just another medical ninja? I didn't get along well with my parents during my teenaged years. I became distant from Ino and my other friends with my unhealthy obsession with Sasuke-kun. Now what?

I most likely would have been fine, if miserable, but in my panicked state, I thought that I could simply not exist without at least one of my teammate's companionship. At this point, it was certainly not going to be Sasuke-kun's.

When Kakashi-sensei brought back a worn out Naruto after the onslaught from Pein was over, they were greeted by all the village, cheering madly over their hero. Naruto stared, awestruck, that such a welcoming could be for the likes of him. Naruto deserved it. He deserved everything.

Hinata didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve what I did to her. I had nothing against the Hyuuga. In fact, I liked her very much actually. She was very polite to everyone, and always did her best. I think I liked her even more over the fact that she felt so fondly over Naruto. She had a true judge of character. But it had nothing to do with how I felt about Hinata, only over not losing my last hope from surviving my loneliness. I stole Naruto from her. I didn't have the right, but I did it anyway.

The crowd parted as I walked to Naruto, like the people expected me to be the one to greet the hero first, like I was his woman, his prize. I was very much willing to be his prize, even though it should have been Hinata. Maybe, if Hinata had been a bit more assertive, I would have just cut my losses and let her take him from me. If Hinata had done anything, but stand there, and smile as I greeted Naruto, maybe it would have prevented me from performing my mistake.

Naruto had been staring at Hinata, or at least trying to make some sort of eye contact with her as the village children bounced around him distractedly. He was most likely trying to decide if what Hinata had said to him earlier was true or not. A lot had happened in between and Naruto had been unable to reply to her. Naruto's hesitation most likely caused Hinata to second guess herself. She was timid and lacked self confidence. She most likely assumed that Naruto just didn't return her feelings.

It wasn't that Naruto didn't like Hinata, he just simply didn't realize Hinata liked him. He was stupid. He had always been dumb. I remember thinking that as I jammed my fist into his head, and with that, Naruto forgot all about Hinata. Then I must have completely forgot who I was, for I caught Naruto before he could hit the ground after my punch and then I very tenderly, placed a hand on the side of Naruto's head, and let his chin rest against my shoulder. I was never tender to Naruto. I was never sweet. Especially in front of other people, and here I was displaying the affection in front of the entire village.

"Thank you."

I felt Naruto tense at my touch. The tips of his hair were wet from sweat and they brushed against my cheek, but I didn't mind the feeling. I didn't mind that he smelled liked blood and sweat, because he still smelled like Naruto underneath it all. Besides, blood and sweat were the scent of living things. Naruto was still alive, despite what had happened and what he went through. That was all that mattered.

Afterwards, I forgot about Hinata. Even if I remembered her, I thought her too weak, too meek to put in her effort. Naruto needed love. Everyone needed love, but for some reason I never really understood that Naruto had been starving for it since the day he was born. Now, he was finally receiving it. He had to earn it with sweat, blood and tears. He earned it and deserved it. He should be rewarded.

But why should he be rewarded with something such as love, when it should have been given to him regardless. He had suffered needlessly all his life, and a great part of it was due to myself. I really wasn't different than anyone else, and because of this, my rejection was only a small drop of the ocean of indifference that Naruto had to swim through, but because of my self center-ness, I thought I was important. It was my duty, my obligation.

Several days went by, structures of buildings being quickly erected before more stable ones could be made, and I was lost in this way of thinking on how to help Naruto. All I could think about was that Naruto deserved everything. I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to make sure that he received everything. Some things he still was going to have to obtain on his own. I couldn't make him become Hokage. I couldn't bring home Sasuke-kun. All the things that I had been able to do for him were always so little and trivial, like heal a wound, help him defend Sasuke-kun to others who didn't understand, or calm down his hot head with a word. There had to be more that I could give him than just those things.

When the idea came to me, it came in so hard, so rashly that it didn't even solidify clearly in my head. I could only obey the overwhelming emotion. There was no thinking. It was quite insane. I had spent several days thinking, plenty of time to mull over the idea, but none of that had happened. I couldn't decipher what I was about to do until I had already left my family and started heading over to where Naruto's living quarters had been newly constructed.

I walked hurriedly, unaware of the reason was because if I slowed down, I would realize what I was about to do and I would change my mind. I practically ran up the steps to Naruto's door. I wasn't sure if he'd be home. He often ate out for dinner but it was already after seven. Naruto would be getting ready for bed so that he could get an early start on his training. He was always training.

I rammed my fist on the door. It was loud, but I refrained from breaking the wood, even though my nerves wanted to.

Naruto answered the door slowly to me, but that was only because my heart was racing so much. I was still out of breath from going up the stairs too fast.

"Sakura-chan?" He was in casual clothes, a black T-shirt and a pair of bright orange cargo pants. Orange was such an obnoxious color. It seemed even brighter with the black shirt. The shirt seemed darker with the yellow hair and blue eyes. Sexier. "What's the matter?"

I didn't say anything, because to talk would mean to think, and to think would mean to chicken out. Instead I flung myself onto him, entering his apartment, my mouth painfully smacking itself onto his teeth. I kicked the door close with my foot, and continued my poorly practiced kiss. I hadn't kissed anyone since the last time I kissed Naruto a few months back. I didn't know the 'technique' to making out, but I figured the first step was to not care about Naruto's saliva, or my own for that matter. I continued in a sloppy, disgusting manner, Naruto pretty much unresponsive. I heard him try to say, 'what the-' but that was halted with my assaulted. I almost choked on my own spit. I didn't know what I was doing.

Before I could drown, I felt each of Naruto's hands on either side of my head, his strong fingers digging into my hair. He didn't exactly pull me away, but he guided my head back, dragging my attacking lips away from his so that he could reenter my mouth smoother, deeper. I felt him put his tongue in my mouth and my heart quickened over the fact that before, I would have never allowed him to do such a thing. I let Naruto take over the kiss, not sure if the feeling I was feeling was arousal or embarrassment. I felt myself turning inside out, with everything exiting my body, sliding out of me with the feeling of Naruto's tongue against my own. A low, rumbling growl from Naruto's throat put me back together. It was masculine, sexy and told me that this was right, that I shouldn't have waited this long. Naruto had pressed me against the door. Sometime in all of this I had closed my eyes. I opened them as Naruto continued to move inside my mouth. I impatiently decided I had had enough of this kissing, of me falling like an inexperienced foolish groupie girl. This was Naruto. Naruto didn't have any experience either.

I shoved Naruto off of me, wiping the spit off my chin with the back of my hand. The force of my push had shoved Naruto against the adjacent wall. I was on him again before he could catch the breath that had left him. I shoved his wrists over his head, holding them up there with my chakra, glaring at his stupid confused face. "Sakura-chan, what-"

"Shut up!" And I kissed his wet lips again, noting he had two as I tried to give attention to both of them. Giving up I moved away from his mouth and went to his chin, his jaw, before tasting the skin on his neck. Naruto tilted his head up for me, whining like a baby. I let go of his wrists to put my hands on his chest. As soon as his arms were free his hands were immediately on me again, but I told myself I didn't care. One hand was at the back of my head, trying to get me to kiss his mouth again, but I was too distracted with trying to burn his shirt away with my eyes.

Since I couldn't do that, I dragged my hands down to the rim of it, pushing the fabric up to his armpits. I've seen Naruto shirtless before. I've practically seen Naruto naked, with all the times I had to fix him up. I always averted my eyes or covered him when wounds were too close to a particular aria, thankfully Naruto being unconscious most of the time, but looking at Naruto like this was as if I had never seen him before. Naruto was breathing so hard, all the planes in his chest contracting and expanding before my eyes. It was like he was about to have a heart attack. Why was this effecting him so much? How could hormones turn someone like Naruto, the great hero from the Hidden Leaf, into this? I traced my fingers over all the muscles, knowing each of their scientific names but suddenly forgetting them all with the warmth of Naruto's skin. Naruto reattached his mouth to mine, and I let him, feeling everything I could.

Naruto's other hand trailed down my back, over my hip, to my waist, but that was all it would do. He didn't dare go any higher or lower, so it just stayed there, on my waist. I realized, I was too afraid to take my hands anywhere else as well.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto breathed into my mouth, kissed me and then said the name again. I knew Naruto was perfectly content to just kiss me and go no further, his fingers combing through my hair to the tips before reentering at the roots of my scalp.

But that wasn't why I had come here, and if I wanted to do anything about it, I was going to have to do it all myself. I snapped open his pants. I felt Naruto's eyelashes hit my cheek, as his gaze dropped to see what the hell I was doing.

I hooked my foot around his ankles, dropping him easily to the floor and pouncing on him. He almost tried to struggle, but I grabbed both his arms with one hand, the other still fishing around inside his pants.

I'd seen penises before. I was a medical ninja. I spent most of my time in the hospital. I'd seen many naked people before and I carried on with my task professionally. I knew how sex worked. Tsunada-sama had put me on birth control since I was twelve. I knew the concept of erections. I just had never seen one before.

I wasn't exactly seeing one now either, but rather, feeling it grow in my hand. My eyes were glued onto Naruto's face instead, who was staring back in horror, probably thinking I was going to punch him for being hard like this. It wasn't like he had much of choice in the matter as I was stroking him slowly, still shocked that it seemed to grow larger and harder in my hand.

"S-s-s-" Naruto dug his heels into the floor, like he was trying to push himself away from me, but the wall kept him from escaping, and it didn't look like he had the strength to push himself up. Naruto clenched his teeth before turning his head to the side, pressing his face against his arm. He opened one blue eye to look back at me, as if to make sure it was really me touching him like this, his face redder than I had ever seen it.

I pressed my thumb to the tip of the erection, noticing the drop of precum. That must mean he was ready. I got my feet underneath me and climbed over Naruto's lap, my skirt riding up my thighs. With my movements, Naruto turned his head fully to me, eyes wide as he realized where this was going. Naruto was so slow sometimes.

"Holy shit. Holy shit! Sakura-chan, wait a minute. Stop." I ignored him, hovering over him, and moving my underwear to the side to press him against me. His head went back so violently it hit the wall. His arms struggled in my grip and I tightened my hold on him.

I shoved him hard into me when I felt resistance from my own body. He had been bigger than I was expecting but that shouldn't have made a difference. Sex was a normal thing. Infants came out of vaginas. It had to fit.

Tsunade-sama had explained the first time to be like kicking a piano. The almost numbing, sharp pain hit me and I slammed Naruto's arms against the wall, angry that I hadn't prepared myself for it better. Naruto let out a little shout in surprise. My grip on him was most likely cutting off his circulation.

He was saying something to me. The feeling of pain was fading away, but Naruto's voice was also. Everything was numb to me, as I felt me falling within myself. I was having sex with Naruto. I just lost my virginity, and it wasn't with Sasuke-kun. Maybe deep down, I knew I would never be with Sasuke-kun this way, though it never stopped me from imaging it. I thought, if I was never with Sasuke-kun, I would simply just be with no one, and I was okay with that. I thought I was okay with that.

I gritted my teeth, feeling suddenly empty, suddenly wrong. This was betraying Sasuke-kun. It didn't matter that I knew Sasuke-kun did not care about any of it. I was still betraying him. How could I do this if I loved Sasuke-kun? Did I ever love Sasuke-kun? If I didn't, did that mean half of my life I had been a lie? How could I be so meaningless? How could I let this happen? Why did I think this was a good idea?

Because Naruto deserved love.

No. Naruto deserved love of course, but not from me. From Hinata. I was only doing this because I thought maybe it would finally help me get over Sasuke-kun. Naruto was so kind and beautiful. I should love him. But why was I crying all of a sudden? Why did I wish so desperately that I was with Sasuke-kun, that I felt like throwing up. My chest and stomach hurt. They hurt much more than my sex did, which was feeling only numb now. It hurt so much.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto was still trying to pull his arms free from my grip. I felt my body start to move automatically, even as tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldn't just get up and leave now. The damage had already been done. I couldn't make anything worse. I had to finish what I had started. Naruto groaned, mouth pressed against the arm I was using to restrain him. "Please. Don't. Stop. It's okay. It's alright. Just stop."

It wasn't alright, and stopping wasn't going to help anything. I forcefully rocked my hips against his, cursing when I felt a spark of pleasure from it. Naruto's eyes snapped back to me at the sound of my voice, seeing my tear plastered face now. I wished he'd close his dumb eyes.

"Sakura-chan, if it hurts, stop."

I shook my head. It didn't hurt anymore. That wasn't it. My jaw locked as I tried to open it, still rolling my hips into Naruto. His breath came out as a gasp with every move I made. I wondered if Sasuke-kun would have breathed the same way. Sasuke-kun was so perfect. He would have never let himself be caught doing anything lewd or dirty. This was lewd and dirty.

But I didn't stop. "Saku-Sakura-chan! Stop-fucking hell! Fuck!" Naruto convulsed, his slippery wrists almost succeeding in slipping out of my grip. I stared at him, his skin red, tendons tight, mouth open. And then I felt him finish inside me.

As Naruto tried to catch his breath, I let go of his arms, leaning back, like I was too close to him. I didn't get up though. Naruto was still inside me. I found myself blank on what I should do next. I kind of wanted to die. Maybe Sasuke-kun would come back to kill me. I was a dirty slut.

Naruto didn't know what to say. I know because he was quiet and he was never quiet. He just stared at me with shock, a little bit of fear and what I realized was just a sliver of hope. Hope that maybe, I did all this because I had decided to return his feelings.

That was it. That was too much.

I burst out sobbing. With his hands now free, he was able to place them on either side of my head, pressing the palms like that would stop me from crying. He stared at me, swallowing.

"I-!" I sobbed. "Sasuke-kun-!" And through my blurry vision I saw his expression change. There. Now he knew the truth.

"I know," he said. "I know!" He hugged me. He pressed my face to his shoulder as I sobbed. No. I couldn't accept this! I didn't deserve this comfort. I pushed him away from me and got up, running out of that apartment like I would never see him again.

He didn't follow me, but I knew I couldn't run from him. Naruto would always be there. He wouldn't leave me. He had made that a promise.

---

During Pein's attack, Tsunade-sama used up so much chakra that she was in a coma for nearly a month. There was talk that Shimura Danzo would be appointed Hokage. I hated that man. I didn't really know why except for that I knew Tsunade-sama hated him. With the dislike the two had for each other, it would be clear that Danzo would have very different ideas than Tsunade-sama in how to lead the village.

I sat by her a lot during her coma, looking for any signs that she might wake up. I needed her now, more than ever. I didn't like talking about my romantic life with anyone, and I knew Tsunade-sama would not hold back to be kind for me, but I needed some sort of answer. I could only avoid Naruto for so long.

I spent some time in her office, alone, organizing her things before Danzo could get in here and start meddling. It surprisingly survived the the attack from Pein in almost one piece. The windows had shattered, causing rubble to get in. I made sure to recover every single piece of paper and put it in a safe place so that everything would still be around when Tsunade-sama did wake up. The windows had since be replaced, and most of the rumble removed, but I discovered Tsunade-sama was not a very organized person. It took some time. Even after it became late and I finished, I realized I didn't want to go home. I hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately and if I was lucky, I was busy, but it was supposed to be my night off from the newly makeshift hospital. I had been there a few weeks straight now. They told me I wasn't welcome until I got some rest.

It was around this time that I discovered Tsunade-sama's hidden compartment under her desk. Being a ninja, I'm trained to be a snoop so of course I had to open it and find out what she was hiding. Besides, I needed to rescue it before Danzo might stumble upon it.

In the secret compartment were two bottles of saki and a glass. I sighed. Of course there was.

There was a knock on the office door. I panicked, ramming my head on the underside of Tsunade-sama's desk. I hadn't locked the door, and I was most likely not supposed to be in here, depending on who you asked. Of course it was obvious someone was in the office, as I had the lights on and they could be clearly seen from the street outside. I blushed red that I was caught snooping, praying it wasn't someone who was a Danzo supporter.

I pushed myself up using the desk, but when I saw who was at the doorway, my sweaty palms betrayed me. Slipping, and I fell back down again.

"No one told me that you were appointed as the next Hokage, Sakura-chan!" Of all the people, Naruto was worse than Danzo right now. Yet, the pep in Naruto's voice made it hard to be awkward around him. He was always so good at that. But it was a trick. It was a trick to make me comfortable to trust him again and then he would want to talk about... that thing that happened between us.

Nothing good could happen talking about that thing.

"Whatcha doing, Sakura-chan?"

"N-nothing!" I tried to quickly shut the compartment that I had found, but was having difficulty. My panicked brain couldn't remember how I had opened it.

"You haven't been home."

"I've been busy."

"I couldn't find you at the hospital either. I was beginning to think you skipped town like Sasuke," Naruto laughed nervously. My stomach tightened. "Good thing I saw the light on in here or I would have left the village to go look for you."

I glared at him from over the desk. "And where the hell did you think I'd go?"

"I don't know," Naruto said, hands on his hips, staring out the dark windows. "Probably to wherever the fuck Sasuke is."

I could hear the hurt in his words. Of course. Because I had sobbed out Sasuke-kun's name as I gave Naruto my virginity. Yep, this conversation was going to be horrible. What was wrong with me!? Why did I do that!? I should have just gone over to Hinata's and convinced her to go to Naruto's apartment instead. Hinata actually deserved Naruto, as proven with the awful way I continued to treat him.

I struggled with the contraption under the desk in my frustration.

"Wadda ya doing under there anyway?" Naruto leapt over the desk and squatted at my side. "What is that?" Naruto gasped. "Is that Grandma Tsunade's secret saki stash!?"

I sighed. "Yea, I found it by accident. I can't seem to get it to close though. This is just what Tsunade-sama needs," I said sarcastically, "for Danzo to come sit at her desk and find her saki stash underneath! As if her reputation isn't already hanging in the balance."

"There's only one thing we can do then," Naruto stated, voice getting lower as he was about to announce his idea. His ideas were often stupid, but the way he made his voice so deep before hand like that, always made me forget they would be. "We just have to drink it ourselves."

"You can't be serious! First of all, we're too young to be drinking. Second of all, Tsunade-sama would totally kill us if she ever found out we drank all of her saki!"

"We'll just buy her some more when she wakes up and is Hokage again. No big deal."

"How are we going to buy saki when we're only sixteen? No one's going to sell it to us!"

"We'll give someone older money to buy it."

"Who?!"

"I don't know. Iruka-sensei?"

"Iruka-sensei would also kill you if he found out you drank!"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Kaka-" I stopped myself, pressing my knuckles into my mouth. "Maybe." He didn't seem to be the type of guy that was too concerned about laws but, "I don't know. Kakashi-sensei seems to enjoy watching us squirm when we're in trouble."

"Come on Sakura-chan! Have you ever tasted saki before? Aren't you a little curious? Besides, the two of us are practically adults now. Am I right?" He nudged me with his elbow. I had never known Naruto to be subtle before, but he was doing a marvelously job of tormenting me about... that thing.

"Fine! Take it!" I grabbed one of the saki bottles and shoved it into his hands. "If I give this to you, will you leave me alone?"

Naruto got up and walked around the desk. "I told you Sakura-chan, I'm never leaving you all alone." I couldn't help notice he took the saki bottle regardless, my teeth grating as I glared at him. "Besides, there's something super important I need to talk to you about." He fiddled with the neck of the saki bottle nervously. "I... the other day."

I stood up, ready to brace myself.

"Did you... need...? We didn't use any protection and I-"

I tried to suppress a giggle as my hand flew to my mouth. It wasn't funny. I don't know why I was laughing. Maybe it was relief. Was this what Naruto wanted to talk about? I could talk about this.

Naruto's feelings on the other hand... that was a different story.

My body tried to laugh again, because of course Naruto would be worried about impregnating me. I hadn't said anything about it.

"What? What's so funny?" Naruto asked, eyes wide.

"Nothing. I'm on the pill. Don't worry about it."

Naruto gave a sigh of relief that could be visibly seen throughout his whole body. Mine was still convulsing from my chuckling.

"Damn! I've been looking for you everywhere for the last couple of days! Why didn't you just tell me?! Shit! You women are all messed up."

We were. It was true. "Now if that's all, can you please leave? I have a lot of work to do here," I lied. Well, maybe I could work on that other saki bottle. Alone, where it was safe.

"No that's not all," Naruto growled. My heart started to pound. I didn't reply. Naruto didn't seem to know how to continue either. "You..."

I pulled out the second bottle and cup, pouring a glass.

"What was that?"

I downed the glass quickly, rather than trying to sip at it. It probably wasn't the best idea. Of course Tsunade-sama's saki would be strong. "I don't know," I answered.

"Well I know!" Naruto huffed. I turned to face him. "That was like... the worst sex in the history of the world!"

I shouldn't have been surprised. Or course I knew it must have been bad. I obviously didn't have my heart into it. I guess I just thought that Naruto, being a guy, would like it anyway. "I'm sorr-"

"I was the worst partner ever!"

Wait, what? "Naruto-" I started. What did he mean? It wasn't like Naruto could do anything. I hadn't let him. Hell, I practically raped him.

"You didn't finish. I lasted for ten seconds, and you cried! I don't even think you were ready. It was like, the worst ever. All the bad things that could happen happened. If Ero-sensei were alive right now, he'd be kicking my ass. I'm pretty sure he's crying in his grave. I know, I tended to ignore him when he was trying to teach me his sexy ways, but man, even I know I screwed that one up. Regardless if it was my first time or not! There was no romance, no class, I didn't even offer you fucking tea!"

"Naruto, it doesn't matter. It wasn't meant to be romantic! It was just to get it out of the way. Like a first kiss. Our virginities are gone so we don't have to worry about losing them anymore!" I took another drink.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at me. "Give me that!" He took the glass out of my hand, and opened his own saki bottle to pour into it instead of just using mine. Great, now they were both open. We were going to have to finish both bottles. "Who said you could just decide that for me?"

I wanted to throw up. "You didn't... you didn't want that?" Shit. I just assumed that was what all boys wanted.

"I mean, of course I did! And if I had to pick any girl, of course I'd want it to be with you. Fucking damn!" Naruto swallowed his drink. "But, I didn't want it to be bad."

"I'm sorry." I stared at the window. "I-"

"You love Sasuke, I know but, what if, you start thinking sex is always terrible just because that one time you did it with me was so awful. You'll never have sex again and it's my fault."

"What?" I snorted. "Naruto. I raped you. You couldn't even do anything. How is any of that your fault?"

"Nope. Guys can't get raped."

"Yes they can."

"Not by girls. It's impossible."

"I'm pretty sure they can."

"No!" Naruto covered his ears.

"I forgot to yell 'surprise'," I said jokingly now.

"No." Naruto grabbed me by the shoulders. For a moment, I thought he might kiss me. Good thing he didn't or I would have hit him into tomorrow. Instead he gave me a light push and I landed onto the Hokage's chair. Naruto leaned back onto the desk, eyeing me as he took another drink. "We're awkward now," he stated the obvious.

I stared out the window. "How has that been any sort of change," I replied, thinking about how Naruto always 'liked' me. I wondered how long he liked me for. I can't remember when I first met Naruto. Naruto not liking me would have made my life a whole lot easier. Without the temptation, I wouldn't have screwed Hinata over. I would have still stayed true to Saskue-kun. But then again, I would have been a whole lot lonelier.

"I don't know what you mean," I watched Naruto down another glass.

"You think you're going a little fast there?" I said, nodding my chin in the direction of the saki bottle.

"You're not supposed to be counting. Here. Stop being jealous." He poured me a cup as if it was the solution. I didn't think there was any solutions for my jealousy problem. "We're friends. Us fucking is not going to ruin our friendship." After he handed the glass to me, he shook his head fiercely. "Nope. No siree!"

"How?"

Naruto locked eyes with me. "We do it again. Better."

"No," I said darkly, murder written on my face.

"You got it!" Naruto quickly agreed, changing his mind, not wanting me to beat him up. I knew he would try again later. He always would try again later.

"Doing it again won't solve our problem! If anything, it will make it more awkward!"

"Then I guess we will forget about it!" Naruto exclaimed, knuckles digging into his hips, brow lowered and him leaning over me determinedly. I was beginning to think the alcohol was started to effect him. "We'll just... we'll just act like how we always do and things will go back to normal."

I pursed my lips in skepticism.

"Let's talk about Sasuke. That always makes us feel better."

I felt my insides tug. "I don't know if I want to talk about Sasuke-kun," I admitted. "I'm beginning to think that always talking about him to you isn't good."

"Wha!? What does that mean!?"

"Everyone thinks I'm too obsessive over him. They think it's unhealthy."

Naruto blew air out of his lips and threw his arms up into the air. "Who cares what the village thinks!?" He fell onto his back over the desk. "People say the same shit to me too, but I've never listened because they don't know anything! They've never known shit!"

Maybe Naruto also had an alarming interest in Sasuke-kun. "I don't know. I think you're an enabler for an unhealthy addiction of mine. I know you're just trying to help make me feel better but..." I rubbed my thumb over the sides of the glass. "Why? Why do you care so much?"

Naruto flung himself upright. "Because! He's our friend! He's our comrade! Never leave your comrades behind!"

"We didn't leave him behind. He left us behind."

"Whatever. Doesn't matter. I'm bringing him back. I promised you!"

"Why do you want to talk about Sasuke-kun all the time?"

"Because! He's Sasuke!" Naruto brought his hands to the side of his head, like he couldn't believe I was asking such ridiculous questions. It made me wonder. I knew his personalty was like that. Naruto always cared too much. Naruto was always too emotional. That's why he cared this much about bringing back Sasuke-kun. Maybe it was all just because no one else thought he could pull it off. Of course, usually I thought it was for me. To get me to like him.

"But don't you think...?" The edge of my vision was getting fuzzy, and the electrical light seemed to be too bright now. "I mean, of course I want Sasuke-kun back, but for you, you promised you would bring him back for me, but wouldn't you not want him around? I mean, if he wasn't around, maybe... If I hadn't ever met Sasuke-kun... I'd might want to be with you."

Naruto narrowed his eyes at me as his smile widened. "Sakura-chan, are you drunk?"

"No! You're drunk!"

"You're more drunk!"

"You drank more than I."

"I'm a man. I weigh more than you do."

"Psh, you're hardly a man."

"Whoa, what? Hold up! You saw it! You know I'm a man!"

I felt my face heat up as I rolled my eyes. "I didn't exactly look at it. I averted my eyes."

Naruto laughed. "What? Why? Were you shy or something?"

"We're not talking about this anymore!"

Naruto threw his head back. "Right! Because it makes us awkward. Fuck." He took the glass from me to fill it up again. I noticed he spilt some. I'd clean it up later. If I remembered. "Okay. But listen. Here me out. What if I said, I could make it up to you?"

"Make what up to me?"

"The bad sex."

"Naruto, we're not talking about this anymore!"

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto groaned, and slid to the floor against the desk.

"No." I said shaking my head and crossing my arms. I briefly wondered if Naruto thought this all out a head of time, getting me drunk and then trying to seduce me. But Naruto wouldn't have known that I was up here with Tsunade-sama's saki. Besides, I was pretty confident in myself to keep him off me. Of course this thought was made when I was already tipsy.

"But I read things," Naruto said, head tilted upward and his eyes closed. "From Ero-sensei's books."

I snorted before taking another drink. "Reading and doing are too completely different things. Example; the way Sai acts."

"I know! That's why I gotta practice! It's just practice so it's okay!"

"I'm not falling for that one again, Naruto."

"Why? Why are you saying no? I know you want to."

"If I wanted to I wouldn't be saying no! Besides, it should be obvious! There's a million reasons why we can't ever, ever do it again!"

"Yea? Name one!"

"I don't... I don't feel for you like that!" That got Naruto to shut up. Maybe all this time, the remedy to my Naruto problem wasn't about being nicer to him. Maybe I had to be crueler. Maybe I had to crush any sort of hope that the fool had of us ever being together. I couldn't show any mercy at all.

Naruto finally blinked at me after several moments. "So?" he answered.

"So? What do you mean 'so'?! I don't want to keep hurting your feelings!"

"My feelings?" Naruto grabbed the front of his jacket. "This isn't about my feelings! This is about you having a mind blowing orgasm from a man! You obviously need it. I'm not the one throwing myself onto people!"

I threw my head into my hands with a groan, completely embarrassed. The movement made me slightly dizzy, so I kept my head there.

"Hey. Hey." Naruto crawled closer to me on the floor, a hand going to my bare knee. I flinched slightly from the skin to skin contact, but my head was too heavy to do much about it. "Is this about Sasuke? Or is it about me?" He pushed himself up, using my knees for support. "Hey. Look at me." I parted my fingers to peer out with one eye. "If it's Sasuke, we don't have to have sex. Okay? I mean, it's kinda already fucked but, if you don't want to do it again because of Sasuke... There are other ways I could get you off."

I gasped. "No, Naruto!"

"So it's me then? Right? You're not attracted to me and that's the problem!"

"Naruto-"

"No it's okay! We can get around it! We're fucking ninja! I could be anyone! Who do you want me to be?"

"Naruto, what are you talking about?"

Naruto stood back, feet apart before making a hand sign and the office filled up with smoke. I coughed, trying to bat the smoke away from my face annoyed. I was briefly concerned on how we were going to get all this smoke out of the office before I remembered that it would dissipate on its own.

When my vision cleared, I slammed back against the chair. Sasuke-kun was standing before me, wearing the garb that we had last seen him in, leaning against the desk cooly with his arms crossed. His eyebrows were down quizzically, eyes dark upon me, his splendid lips half way between a smirk and a grimace. It would have been an odd expression had it been on anyone other than Sasuke-kun. And yet, it was the closest thing I could image Sasuke-kun showing of want, or desire. Everything about Sasuke-kun was already sexy, but he wasn't one to come on to anyone. I felt in between my legs grow warm, just from seeing his face like that.

It took me three seconds to realize it wasn't really him. "No. Stop. I don't like this." How did Naruto get him so pat down? His stance, his expression, nothing about it held any of Naruto's character.

"Why not?" and Naruto even used Sasuke-kun's voice. My hands flew to my ears and I squeezed my eyes shut.

"No!"

Another puff of smoke and Naruto was back to normal. "I'm so stupid!" he exclaimed. "Of course that's not a good idea! You'd get too emotional! You're already crying!"

I sniffled and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, not realizing it was happening until Naruto pointed it out.

"I'm dumb. I'm sorry. I'm always dumb. Who else then? There's gotta be somebody else then."

"What?" I blinked at him, eyelashes heavy with tears.

"There's gotta be someone else who you find attractive. Bushy Brow?"

"No don't turn into Lee!" I shouted, holding my arms up to stop him. "I've never been attracted to Lee!"

"Really?" Naruto asked, like it was a statement he found hard to believe. I didn't know why. Sure, Naruto and I respected and liked Lee, but he was not an attractive person. Thinking about him was making me forget about Sasuke-kun though. Rock Lee was so funny looking, his voice held so much passion that it border lined ridicules. It made me smile.

"No," I shook my head. "Never."

"He has an impressive six-pack, if you hadn't noticed."

"No! No! No! And don't show me. I'd be scarred for life."

"What about Sai then?" I paused, the alcohol letting me think about it. "He reminds you of Sasuke," Naruto stated. I didn't answer. I just set the saki cup on the desk. "You like Sai!" Naruto said amazed when I hadn't responded. "Gross! He's all pale looking! And he's weird, Sakura-chan. I don't get it."

"He's not that bad!"

"So you like him!"

"No I don't like Sai, like that."

"Shikamaru?"

"What? Why him?"

"I don't know. I just feel like he'd know what to do in this type of situation."

"He wouldn't be in this situation to begin with! This is all too wrong! I can't believe you even considered it."

"Kakashi-sensei!"

I blushed, turning my head away as I gasped a breath of air. "No..."

"Your face got red! You'd totally would do Kakashi-sensei!"

"Only because I'm curious to see what's underneath it all!"

"Underneath it all, huh?" Naruto asked, a teasing smirk on his face.

"Shut up!"

"I''m not judging you. Kakashi-sensei's hot!"

"You're not Kakashi-sensei though! You can't even transform into him! You've never seen him underneath his mask or his clothes so you wouldn't know what he looked like!"

"Damn you're right!" Naruto threw a hand to his head at the realization. "Fuck man! I would have done a great Kakashi-sensei too!"

"Regardless, this whole thing is super wrong anyway."

"How is it wrong? We're not hurting anyone. No one would have to know! We'll turn out the lights! No one will see!"

"First of all, it's disrespectful towards you, don't you think?"

Naruto took a step toward me, tripping a little and landing both his hands on the backrest of my chair. "Sakura-chan," he whined. "You worry about me too much. I don't care."

"You don't care right now because you're horny and drunk," I stated.

"You're horny and drunk," Naruto replied, lowering himself back down onto the floor again at my feet.

"And yet look how well I'm behaving myself. That says something doesn't it?" I was enjoying myself. I wanted Naruto to keep talking to me like this. I wanted him to keep his attention on me. I wanted him to keep trying.

His forehead fell to my left knee. "Why'd you come to my apartment?" Naruto mumbled.

"Because," I said, Naruto's hair tickling my skin. "You deserve love."

Naruto laughed. He almost slipped off my lap but wrapped his arms around my legs to keep from falling. "But you didn't give me love. You gave me sex."

I flinched. I should know the difference at this age by now, shouldn't I?"

"Thanks though. That was really nice of you anyway," Naruto murmured. "It was nice. But... It's okay. You don't have to do it for me again. I'm really good at... helping myself..."

I was sort of thinking of pushing Naruto off me now. I didn't need to know that.

"You ever?"

"What!?" I snapped, pushing at his head. He rolled back onto his butt, his eyes locked on mine, hungry for my answer.

"Help yourself," he supplied again.

"I'm not telling you that!"

He pushed himself closer. "Do you even know how?" he asked in a deep voice.

"Of course I know how!"

"Prove it," Naruto dared.

Instead I reached around his head for the saki and took a drink.

Naruto laughed at me. "I'm just teasing you Sakura-chan. You're being such a good sport." He gave my knees a squeeze with his arms. "Thank you for the company. Thank you for being my friend."

A few glasses later, I leaned back on the chair, drinking straight from the bottle now. What was the point of continually pouring it into the tiny glass? We were just going to spill it. Naruto was already too far gone, sprouting nonsense. I was having a hard time keeping up with what he was saying.

"Look at you, Sakura-chan. You're the Hokage-sama!" I wasn't sure if he was commenting on me drinking like Tsunade-sama, or that I was sitting on her chair. This was probably super disrespectful to her, but I was too drunk to care. "You look so hot right now," Naruto's breath hit the inside of my thighs. "You're tearing me apart, you know?"

"I thought you told me not to worry about your feelings."

"Don't worry about them." Naruto was too close to me. I shouldn't have felt this relaxed, but my legs just seemed to open on their own. Naruto hot mouth moved against the inside of my thigh when he spoke. "I'll do all the worrying for you, Hokage-sama. I'm a ninja of the Hidden Leaf."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah," he grinned. He tried to push himself up, but the chair I was on had wheels, and I rolled back into the window behind us. The both of us laughed. Naruto took the bottle from me to drink, as if the two of us weren't slushed enough.

"Your eyes are pretty," I said.

Naruto blinked. "I'm not pretty. Sasuke's pretty. You like Sasuke. Sasuke's so pretty!" Man, you try to give a boy a compliment, I thought. Naruto never failed to turn a conversation about himself back to Sasuke-kun.

"True, but you still have nice eyes. Just because Saskue-kun is gorgeous doesn't mean no one else can be."

Naruto shook his head. "No. No, I'm not pretty. Your eyes are pretty. You're the only one with eyes."

"We all have eyes, Naruto."

"No. Not like yours. What color are they?"

"They're green."

"No. Leaves are green. Grass is green. Your eyes are prettier than those things. Here." He lifted my hand and took my index finger. "Your nail polish matches your eyes. I've never seen this color before, but on you. What the fuck color is this!?"

I laughed. "The bottle said it was mint green." I shrugged "Still green."

"Mint green," Naruto whispered. "Mint doesn't look like this!"

"Mint ice cream does."

And then Naruto put the finger into his mouth. My eyes widened, but I didn't do much anything else. I didn't know what else to do. Normally I would be disgusted to feel something slimy on my fingers like that, but all I felt was warmth. And then with a small suck, I felt something tug, up my arm, down my chest and straight into my loins.

My finger was cold when Naruto took it out of his mouth. "Doesn't taste like mint."

What? Of course not. It was nail polish!

"It's better," he rasped. My already heated cheeks grew more so. He pressed my hand to my lower stomach. "Show me," he whispered. "Show me how you do it."

"Do what?" I whispered even though I knew what he meant. I should stop him from doing whatever he was thinking. But I wanted him to continue anyway. Maybe if I pretended I didn't know, it would be okay. I felt both of our hands slip into the rim of my skirt. What a bold move of Naruto, but I was still feeling too comfortable. Both of our hands cupped me over my underwear. It felt wonderfully wrong. Everything was so warm and wrong. I stared at Naruto's pretty eyes. "Tsunade-sama told me something."

"Yea?" Naruto guided my hand beneath my underwear. Alarms should have been going off in my head, but I did nothing.

"She warned me," I groan as I felt my own hand touching myself. "That I should tell you how I feel about you before it's too late."

"Oh yeah? How do you feel about me?"

I felt Naruto's fingers curl, thereby making my own fingers curl and then go underneath me. "I... hate you." I said, eyes narrowing. "Who said you could have your hand there?"

"I don't remember."

"Because nobody said so!"

"Make me stop then," he dared, yet despite his statement, Naruto was already pulling his hand out of my underwear anyway. Instead, I grabbed it before it was completely free.

Naruto took in a breath and locked eyes with me.

I pressed my tongue to my teeth as I guided his fingers in between my wet folds. I could see Naruto's breathing visibly grow harder, as if I was touching him rather than the other way around. His face was notably redder than it was moments before. "Do you even know how?" I asked wryly.

"Teach me. Make sure I do it right."

I angled my hips better for him. Locating his index finger, I slowly inserted it inside of me. Naruto licked his lips, his eyes fogging up with lust. Naruto's finger was larger than mine, and rougher and deliciously more wonderful. I wondered if Sasuke-kun would have been the same, if his fingers would be just as long, just as calloused. It didn't matter. They were both hands of a man, and I had at least one of them. Naruto experimentally curled his finger up, and I let out a low mew, my free hand flying up to grasp the flesh between Naruto's shoulder and neck. The muscle was the perfect size for my hand to squeeze on.

Naruto leaned over my own shoulder, whispering in my ear, "Sakura-chan, you're so beautiful."

I shook my head as I rocked my hips against his hand. No. I wasn't beautiful. I was wretched.

My hand that had guided Naruto's finger traveled up his wrist, clutching at it. His arm was so steady and strong. I bit my lip, pressing my face to Naruto's shoulder in shame.

"You don't have to look at me. If that helps," Naruto said quietly.

I shook my head. "No." I looked up. "If I had to chose someone other than Sasuke-kun, I would choose you, Naruto. Not anyone else in the village. You."

Naruto grinned. "Because I have pretty eyes?"

"Yes," I murmured as I thrusted against his hand. No that wasn't why, but I couldn't think enough to list all the reasons why.

"Thank you, Sakura-chan." I found myself squeezing my eyes shut again, even though I had promised myself to be brave enough to look at him. Why was Naruto thanking me for putting him in second? Naruto didn't deserve second. He deserved first.

Hinata would have put him first. She already had. She let him go, believing that Naruto would be happier without her. How could he be happy with second when he could have had first?

Naruto added a second finger. "Am I doing this right?" I made a loud noise which made Naruto pause, but I nodded my head to continue. "Tell me how you do it. Gives me details," Naruto said into my ear.

"What?"

"Tell me what makes you decide to touch yourself. What do you think about?"

"No." I shook my head. "I'm not telling you that."

"It'll turn me on." And of course I wanted to turn Naruto on. I wanted to be the reason he felt like this, even if I didn't give him anything in return. I was so despicable. "Even if you're thinking about Sasuke, it won't matter to me. Just whatever that turns you on, Sakura-chan."

"I think of Sasuke-kun," I admitted.

"What about him?"

"Of him coming home." Naruto nodded his head. I felt it against my own. Naruto thought of Sasuke-kun coming home too. If I was more sober, maybe I would have found all this strange, but I wasn't.

"And what else?"

"Of him... staring at me," I breathed. Naruto's hand started moving faster. "What... he looks like... naked. How his hands might feel like." And I felt Naruto's other hand slip up my shirt. The rough pads of his fingers and palm traveled across my ribs to my back. He undid my bra, surprisingly without much trouble. Then that same hand caressed my right breast, a thumb rubbing over the nippled. My back arched and I bucked into his hand.

"Then what?"

"He hates me. Sasuke-kun hates me."

Naruto almost paused in his movements. "Why?" he asked in a growl.

This was my fantasy after all. "Because. He doesn't know how else to feel. He wants me, but doesn't want to. He's frustrated, so he hates me. So he takes me."

"How?"

"Hard. Violently. He forces me down. But I want him to. I want him so badly." I heard Naruto groan into my neck. His grip on my breast tightened, his hand moving inside me faster, hitting the spot I so desperately wanting him to reach, with just the right angle of my hips. I almost couldn't speak anymore. I was moaning too much. "He... It hurts, but... it feels... I'm going to..." Naruto sunk his teeth into the pulse point of my neck. I cried out, waves of pleasure tightening my body from my orgasm. I almost shout Sasuke-kun's name, but I didn't. I was with Naruto.

I tried to catch my breath. I felt Naruto start to slowly pull out of me. The hand I had around his wrist quickly grabbed the back of his head, afraid he'd disappear now that the task had been finished. I didn't think when I pulled him closer to me to kiss him. I didn't care that his mouth was wet or that he tasted like saki.

"I need to touch something," I gasped. I let go of his head to yank down the zipper of his jacket.

"I'm something," he said, his voice close to begging. Of course he was something! He was what I had meant.

With both hands, I got rid of his jacket. I tried to push up his shirt, but my arms weren't obeying me, and sitting on the chair, I couldn't reach over his head. He took it off himself. Then he pulled me off the chair since him coming closer just made its wheels push me farther away. The both of us were on our knees. I felt his bare skin with my hands trying to get them to go past the rim of his pants. They were numb so I fumbled trying to do so. Naruto pulled my shirt over my head. I was finally able to undo the button of his pants. It felt ridiculously good just to have something in my hands like this. I fondled him, not at all shy. Naruto heaved, his weight leaning into me. I couldn't support him, so I rolled onto my butt, my legs coming from underneath me, Naruto falling into my lap.

"I want..." What was it that I wanted? I pulled Naruto closer as I fell to my back. "Please. I want to."

"Are you sure Sakura-chan? I think... we drank too much of that saki."

"No! Please! I'm so lonely all the time. Please. I'm sorry. I'm so fucked up. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you. I love Sasuke-kun but I'm fucked up. I'm so lonely and fucked up!" I rambled, almost sobbing.

Naruto shushed me with a kiss to my lips, his hands supporting his weight on either side of my head. "I know how you feel. I'm lonely, too. I know exactly how you feel! It's okay, Sakura-chan. I'm also fucked up. I'm so fucked up." He laughed. "Like you don't even know the half of it."

I stared at his blue eyes. "What don't I know?" We were the closest of friends. I knew everything about Naruto. What else could I not know?

Naruto grinned at me. "You're really pretty." Normally I would have not fallen for such a clumsy, obvious attempt to change the subject, but Naruto was thumbing my forehead. I didn't want him staring at it like that.

"No I'm not. Sasuke-kun doesn't- If I was, he wouldn't have left!"

"Sasuke's just dumb." Naruto lift my legs to pull down my panties. He did it slowly, and as I stared at him, listening to his words, I didn't even notice him remove the article of clothing. "He acts all smart to try and cover it up, but I think he knows he's dumb. That's why he gets so angry all the time. That's why he would want to ravish you." Naruto looked down at me quite animalistic.

"Maybe only in my fantasies."

"You and I know Sasuke better than anyone else does." Naruto came closer to me, my legs around his hips. How was it that Naruto and I were always talking about Sasuke-kun, even as we ourselves were about to screw each other? What was wrong with us? "If Sasuke saw us right now, how'd you think he would react? You think he'd just sit and watch?" I felt Naruto press his tip against me. "Or do you think he'd do something about it? He'd beat the living daylights outta me, right? And after that, he'd come after you next. What do you think he'd do to you?"

My heart was thumbing so hard, I felt my whole body shudder at each beat.

"He'd hold you down, like this, maybe?" Naruto brought both his hands under my knees, bringing my legs up to my face, restraining me. I couldn't move. "And then, how did you put it before, he'd take you?"

Naruto slammed into me. He entered me with no resistance, for I was throughly soaked with need. Every thrust went straight to my core. The first contorted my face, my mouth moving into a silent O. The second ripped a scream from my throat. The third I was clawing at Naruto, for anything, desperate to hold something. I grabbed onto his hair, the nails on my other hand biting into the skin of his shoulder. This feeling was almost too much for me to handle. Tears stuck to the corners of my eyes.

"I want you to do it again," Naruto demanded. "I want you to cum. Think about Sasuke and do it again."

I answered with a wordless cry. Would Sasuke-kun be angry? Would he be jealous? All this time I just figured Sasuke-kun wouldn't care. He had never cared about me. But I had forgotten. I did know Sasuke-kun. He only pretended to not care. He was all an act. I knew him. He would be upset. Of course he would be. Sasuke-kun was always upset.

I remembered Sasuke-kun losing his temper, knocking a plate of apples right out of my hand, without thinking. He did things without thinking when he was really furious. So unlike his usual self. Like Naruto. The both of them were so passionate when they were feeling that much.

Naruto. He felt too much. I could feel it emitting out of him. Love, hate. Saskue-kun, Naruto. It was the same feeling. They were the same.

I came.

Naruto swore as my body clenched around him. I felt him move in me a few more times before pulling out. "We're gonna stop," he huffed.

"Why?" I was ashamed how desperate my voice sounded.

"Because I don't want us to make a huge mess!" Naruto smiled at me. "Come on now. It's alright. I'm not going anywhere!" He reached behind him for his jacket. Pulling me up slightly he wrapped the jacket around my shoulders, and tugged me closer to him. I rested against his chest.

"You're so warm."

"Yeah?" His arms slipped under the jacket to embraced me. "You're so soft." He leaned against the desk. I felt myself fall sleep from my drunkenness, exertion and all that sweet heat.

---

I heard two rapid knocks. I opened my eyes. "Is someone in there?"

I held back a shriek as I pulled away from Naruto. He hadn't woken from the noise but I started to shake him as I addressed Shizune's voice from across the closed door. "Oh yes!" I called, jumping up before realizing I was wearing nothing but Naruto's jacket and my ruffled up skirt. "I was just organizing Tsunade-sama's things." I rounded the desk, turning back to Naruto in panic who had sluggishly pulled himself upright. Naruto threw my clothes at me over the desk. "But don't come in! I left a mess in front of the door and I don't want you to trip! I'll be right there!" I tried to put on my bra, but I was panicking too much and still sluggish from my drinking. I tossed the jacket, bra and panties back to Naruto and just put on the shirt.

"Um, okay. What are you organizing in there?"

I pointed at my chest, mouthing to Naruto 'Is it noticeable' as I had ditched the bra.

Naruto started shaking his head, but it morphed into nodding. I sighed irritably, deeming it was only noticeable I wasn't wearing a bra to Naruto because he was looking. I motioned him to hide under the desk before grabbing Tsunade-sama's papers and answering the door. "These!" I said once Shizune was in sight. "I didn't want Danzo going through anything and finding something that he could hold over Tsunade-same to prevent her from retaking up the position of Hokage when she wakes up," I said all in one breath.

"Oh. I noticed the light was on so I came to turn it off. It's five in the morning. Have you been here all night?"

"Yes," I said, running a hand through my hair and trying to keep my distance away from Shizune. I didn't want her to smell the sex and saki on me. "Tsunade-sama had everything just everywhere and it took me some time."

"I could have done that, you know? I know Tsunade-sama's wacked up organization a little bit better. You look terrible."

"Well, it's been done anyway. Here, I'll entrust this to you then? If you don't mind, I'm going to go home and take a much needed shower."

"Yes, of course." Shizune took a step back so I could exit the office. I shut off the light and closed the door securely behind me, concealing Naruto.

Shizune and I left the building together. She didn't comment on my appearance again, but I couldn't help notice her give me a second look every once in a while.

Naruto and I never talked about what happened either. I thought he would try. I thought he would want to push it, and try to make it happen more, so that it would be harder for me to say no to a relationship with him. But he did not, knowing full well that I had only wanted it to be a one time thing. I was mildly disappointed actually. I even thought, maybe, Naruto had decided to go after Hinata now that he got screwing me out of the way, but he made no effort to pursue Hinata either. It was wrong for me to think that of Naruto. He wasn't disrespecting me. No I was the one always disrespecting him. He kept my reputation in tacked. He did not harass me about it again. It was a secret that we did not speak of. We would forget it ever happened.

I assumed Naruto forgot all about it. So much had happened afterwards, and with the much more pressing concern of Sasuke-kun's life being in danger, that was all Naruto thought about. After all, Sasuke-kun was the most important thing to the both of us.

I could admit, that sometimes, for me, the memory of that night passed through my thoughts. I never did get my underwear back from Naruto.

That little thief.