A/N: I tried to do the wedding night justice. I'm sure you can all imagine it much better than I can write it. There is plenty of material from episode 2x08 for A/B fanfic writers. This is the gap that my muse wanted to fill in first.
John turned the corner and counted the doors. He held the candle close to the wall, illuminating the dark hallway. When he reached the fourth door, he realized he needn't have counted. The soft light emanating from under the door welcomed him to his destination. He didn't bother knocking, but rather, softly turned the handle and slid in, quickly closing the door behind him.
The room was bathed in candlelight, and the flames in the fireplace warmed the room. John hardly noticed any of this as his eyes had not left the bed located only paces from his current position. Anna, his beautiful Anna, was on the bed, hidden under the covers, her head resting on the pillows, the soft candlelight dancing on her features. She smiled at him; a coy smile, a nervous smile. John stood there a moment, taking in the slope of the covers, memorizing the curves of her body under the sheets, knowing he would soon be running his hands along those slopes and curves, committing this image and this feeling forever to memory. How was it, after all of his sins, that he could be so lucky?
Anna shifted under the covers and held out her hand, beckoning John to come closer. John strode toward the bed, untying the sash of his robe as he walked. He stopped a pace from the bed and took his robe off, placing the robe on the chair located there. Anna lifted up the covers for him to join her, but instead, he chose to sit on the edge of the bed. He laced Anna's fingers with his own, and with the other hand, he cupped her face, softly running his thumb along her cheek bone. "So beautiful…" he murmured. He leant down to place a chaste kiss on Anna's lips, whispering against hers, "You are so very, very beautiful."
In his wildest dreams, John never imagined he would be here at Downton, sitting on a bed with his wife. A wife he loved, respected, who loved and respected him in turn. The sight of her now in only her nightclothes, covered by blankets, the promise of what was to come, set his heart beating wildly. For the first time in his life, John felt time stop. He felt the sensation of absolute perfection. This, John thought, is what it must feel like to be one with the universe, to be one with another soul.
Anna had never seen John look at her quite the way he was at that moment. A thrill raced through her body and she moved her free hand to lace her fingers through his hair, pulling his head in. Rather than pull him in for another kiss, she tilted her chin down so that their foreheads touched. "I love you John. I always will." John moved his head closer, moved his lips next to her ear, and let out a soft, warming breath. "I love you, Anna May Bates. I love you so very much."
Anna released John from her hold and shifted next to him. He stood up from the bed and this time, when Anna pulled back the covers, he got in.
They were tentative in their movements at first; neither wanting to seem too bold. They kept a distance between themselves, holding hands under the blankets, making awkward attempts to kiss the other. Anna thrilled when John shifted a couple inches closer and moved his hand to her hip. She could feel his fingers splayed there, frozen to the spot. Anna reciprocated, instead choosing to move her hand to John's chest, moving her fingertips lightly against the cloth of his pajama top. She pressed her hand flat against his chest and could feel his heart thudding. "Your heart's beating fast," she whispered. "Is it?" John responded in a deep whisper, "What about yours?" John moved his hand to the middle of her chest and moved his palm slightly above her breast. Anna became breathless with this contact and moved her lips towards his again. She opened her mouth, inviting his touch, his taste. Underneath the sheets, John moved his hand lower, softly, carefully, running his hand over her breast. Anna, arched her back at this first bit of intimacy, surprised not so much at the sensation of the touch, but by how her body was responding. She had felt the coiling of desire before, but never like this, never with the promise of fulfillment.
John responded by moving in closer, rolling her onto her back and moving over her. He wouldn't allow his body to touch hers fully. He rose up on his hands and knees, Anna beneath him. Anna raised her hands to his chest, then guided her fingertips over his shoulders, intertwining her fingers behind his head. She pulled John in for a kiss, and another and another. She lifted her head so that she could nuzzle his neck, instinct teaching her to bite there softly. Her mouth moved to just under his ear, kissing the soft skin there, smelling his shaving soaps mixed with his scent. John pulled back slightly, watching Anna, her eyes closed. When she opened them, he felt like he was drowning. John kept his eyes on hers, using one hand to keep himself propped up, and using the other hand to trail down Anna's arm. When he reached her fingertips, he went lower, smoothing along her hip, her upper thigh, her knee. Anna tried to raise her leg up, the instinctual urge to spread her legs mounting, but he held her there, bringing his knees in to keep her legs together. Slowly, John moved his hand back up her leg, along the silky fabric covering the swell of her hip. This time, he ran his hand on the inside of her arm along her waist, grabbing the flesh there briefly before making his way higher, grazing the side of her breast, letting his thumb rub over the visible nub of her nipple. Anna's breath was becoming shallow, and her half-lidded eyes did nothing to conceal her desire. John brought his hand back down the front of her body, his palm pressed lightly down the valley of her breasts. As his hand continued down, exploring her belly, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss onto Anna's neck, lavishing attention there. Rather than make a straight line down her body, his hand veered off to the side, back to her hip and down to the hem of her gown. He grabbed the material there and Anna raised her hips, allowing him to pull it up. Instead, John held her down, running his hand just under the fabric, watching her face with its mixture of nervousness and desire.
Anna had never felt anything like she was feeling now. John's touch was making her body burn with desire. She wanted to throw off the covers as well as her nightgown and feel the cool air upon her skin. While every part of her was enjoying John's attentions, she also felt the utter need to give herself and become one with him now. Anna had never realized how sensitive certain parts of her body could become and how just the slightest touch or look, or even thought, could send her body pulsing. Anna felt the need to touch more of John. She brought her hands back to his chest and started to unbutton his top. She started at the top and unbuttoned the first two buttons. This allowed her enough access to put one hand in and feel the coarse hair on John's chest. She wanted to feel more so she started on the rest of the buttons.
As Anna was unbuttoning his top, John leaned forward, kissing her on the neck, collarbone, under her ear, her mouth. He whispered words of love and affection. Telling her how beautiful she was, how good she smelled. Every second, Anna fell deeper and deeper in love with this man. When she finished unbuttoning his top, he raised up onto his knees, looming over her. He took his arms out of his pajama top and threw it in the direction of the chair currently occupied with his robe. This was the first time Anna had seen him topless. The first thing she noticed was the thick patch of black hair on the upper portion of his chest. The second thing she noticed from this position was the bulge in his pajama bottoms. Anna was acquainted with a man's body, and knew how it worked, but she had never seen a man's body in full working order. John followed her gaze, and a slight blush colored his cheeks. "Anna, are you frightened, my love?" Anna was nervous, but she would never be frightened with John. If anything, she looked forward to the ways of the world and becoming his wife in the true sense of the word. "No, I'm not frightened. A little nervous perhaps, but more than anything, I desire being with you."
With these words, John seemed to lose some of his self control. He leaned over Anna and put both of his hands on her stomach. He trailed his hands down her body to the hem of her gown, and this time, when Anna lifted her hips, he slid the nightgown up until it was bunched beneath her lower back. John examined the newly revealed skin of her stomach and upper thighs, her undergarment hiding the rest of her. He palmed her hips and used his thumbs to caress the soft skin of her stomach. He shifted back on his haunches, moving a leg between her knees. John shifted down the bed and leaned forward, supporting himself with one outstretched hand. He bent down and reverently kissed the soft flesh of her stomach as if to acknowledge that one day she would be carrying their baby there. He nuzzled the skin as Anna arched her back into his caresses, one hand on the back of his head, holding her to him. He could feel the heat emanating from her depths and smell the musky wetness from between her thighs.
"John…" Anna whimpered. With that one breathless call of his name, John could sense her need, her desire. John moved back up her body and urged her to sit up. As she did, she moved her hands to his back and ran them all the way down, gripping his buttocks and pulling him towards her. John pulled Anna's nightgown over her head and revealed the rest of her creamy skin. Anna fell back into the pillows and pulled John in with her. For the first time, John allowed his body to rest against hers, the skin of their upper bodies in direct contact, their desire separated only by thin pieces of clothing. Anna spread her legs, making room for his weight and increasing their contact. John moaned and brought his lips back to Anna's neck and mouth, one hand finding its way to her breast, the other curling around her head and grabbing her braided hair.
Anna pulled John deeper into herself, using her nails to caress his smooth back, running her hands down to the waist of his pajama bottoms and stopping there. Anna grew bolder and slipped her hands under his pajama bottoms, lightly touching the skin of his buttocks. As he shifted under her, responding to her touch, she increased her grip, grabbing the flesh there, pulling her into him, his desire pressed enticingly, hotly, between them. A rhythm started then, the natural cadence of life developing of its own accord. Muscles flexed and hips moved together, blood vessels filling and moisture accumulating. Anna tried to sit up as she pushed John's bottoms down over his butt, the need to feel him growing. John lifted slightly, interrupting their movements, and Anna slipped the bottoms down to John's mid thigh. She tried to lift her leg up to remove them all the way, but she was hindered by John's weight. He lifted his head and looked coyly at Anna, "Not so fast, Mrs. Bates." Anna smiled and surprised John by managing to move her hand between them, feeling a man in an intimate manner for the first time. Anna was surprised by the feel of him, the weight, the silky texture, the thickness and the hardness. She moved her hand lower and cupped him. She felt the sweet warmth, the feeling of coarse hair on her palm, the contrast between the hard and the soft, the smooth and the coarse, the pliable and the taut. She moved her hand back up and felt the length of him, moving to the tip, lightly pinching the loose skin there, feeling the slippery beads of moisture that had accumulated and using her fingers to spread the moisture around. As she did this, she moved her head, watching John, seeing the utter bliss on his face. She had never seen that look on man's face, but she decided she liked it and would make it her goal to give John as much pleasure as she could. Anna's hand gripped John's length and he once again started to move his hips, returning to a natural cadence. Suddenly his hips stopped and he breathed a ragged sigh, "Anna…please…" Anna looked at him quizzically and he continued "I can't…I want to be with you. Inside you. You have to stop." Anna didn't realize that a man could take his pleasure so easily. She removed her hand from between their bodies and drew his head back to hers, opening her mouth to him as their hips resumed their clothed rhythm. Anna could smell the essence of their bodies oh her hand. She could smell a saltiness; a mixture of sweat and something else- something bitter or tangy. She liked it because it was him. It was his scent and it would now forever be hers.
John lifted up and looked Anna straight in the eyes. Without speaking, she lifted her hips, knowing what he was asking, knowing he wanted permission to continue this. John ran his hands up her thighs and hooked his index finger under the waistband of Anna's undergarment. He ran his hand along the waistband, allowing the back of his finger to caress the skin just above her hairline. Finally, slowly, he brought his other hand up, and using both index fingers, hooked the fabric and pulled it down over her hips, down her legs. Anna raised a leg to push the undergarment off completely and somewhat self-consciously moved her legs together. John kept his eyes on Anna and ran his hand back to her stomach, keeping his hand flat. "May I?" He hesitantly asked? She wasn't sure what he was asking, but she nodded her head slightly, then looked away at a candle, watching the flame, slight embarrassment causing her body to flush. John moved his hand lower, keeping it flat until the palm rested on the curls. He could feel the heat an inch away. He brought his other hand to hers and intertwined their fingers. He brought their joined hands up to his mouth, kissing her fingers, allowing her time to relax, to adjust to the feel of his hand on her. Slowly, he moved further down, his fingers moving down her thigh. Anna moved her legs apart slightly, allowing him access. He slowly moved his hand off her curls to her inner thigh, his fingers moving down the smooth flesh. He continued to kiss her hand, this time turning it over to kiss her palm. Anna raised her eyes back to John's and held his gaze as he tentatively moved his fingers to her center, parting her heat, her slippery moisture covering the tips of his fingers. Anna gave a gasp and John immediately stilled his hand, worry shadowing his face, "Are you…" he started as Anna answered, "It's all right. I just didn't know what to expect. It feels good." Anna flushed again at admitting this. John used his index finger to run up one side of her folds and then down the other, Anna's hips perceptibly moving with his touch. He moved back up to the top of her folds, finding the nub nestled there. John locked his eyes with Anna as he began to massage the wetness there. Circling, lightly rubbing. Anna closed her eyes as her hips moved of their own accord. When she opened them, John was still watching her.
John had never seen anything as beautiful as Anna at that moment. Her response to his touch was everything he could have hoped for and more. Every second he watched her, he was falling deeper and deeper into the abyss of Anna's love. It was an abyss he could live in forever. It could consume him and he would never seek exit. John had never felt desire like he did now. He wanted to sink into Anna's depths and have her pull him into her over and over, hard and fast until he emptied his seed. He cringed at his mental image of Anna as his garden; a garden that he could plow and dig and plant his seed in over and over and over until it bore the fruits of their labor. But tonight was for Anna, and he would resist temptation and be as gentle as possible.
Anna could feel the change in John's touch. His first touches were exploratory, cautious, but then his hand grew bolder and added varying degrees of pressure. She could hardly believe her own reaction when he touched certain areas. Her lips lifted off the bed and she felt herself stop breathing. Soon, John put a finger inside of her, probing her, feeling the spongy muscle of her interior, learning her depths and her crevices. Anna felt her stomach tightening, feeling an unmistakable urge to have him inside of her. Not knowing how or why she needed this, but knowing it nonetheless. Her hips raised to meet his hand and she opened her eyes, finding his already on her, "John, I…" she trailed off. He knew what she wanted and so he raised his body up next to hers, reaching down briefly to discard the pajama bottoms around his knees.
They were now fully naked and could clearly see each other in the firelight. John admired Anna's body. She was young, her skin taught and unblemished. She was so tiny, and John feared that he might hurt her, but Anna had shown him how strong she was, and he hoped that if he caused her any pain, that it would be fleeting and temporary. On the other hand, John cursed his body. He thought how age did not make the body any more beautiful. He hoped, too, that his knee would not stop him from giving Anna pleasure. Anna seemed to sense his melancholy and pulled his head to hers for another kiss. She whispered in his ear, "I love you John. I need you." John returned the sentiment and made one more request. "Anna", he whispered in her ear, "will you let your hair down?" Anna smiled and sat up slightly, untying the ribbon and unbraiding her hair, letting the light waves cascade down her back.
When Anna lay back down, John raised above her once again. He made sure Anna was looking at him and asked in a serious tone, "Are you sure, Anna? Are you sure you want to do this? If we stop now, we can have the wedding annulled, but if we continue on you are mine forever." John finished with a mischievous smile, and Anna swatted him playfully on the shoulder, "Cheeky beggar, I've been yours all along. Besides, what is yours is mine now, and I've been yearning to go on a shopping trip and buy any manner of horrendous furs." Anna could feel John's sides shaking with mirth as he shifted and put more of his weight on her.
Anna closed her eyes as she felt John's body pushing into her hip. She tried to shift slightly to get him closer to her core, but he remained where he was. Anna opened her eyes and saw John looking at her darkly. They both closed their eyes as their mouths met in passionate pleas for completion. As their kisses continued, John positioned himself at her entrance. Anna bucked her hips, eager to feel him inside of her. At that moment, John and Anna locked their eyes. John slowly pushed into Anna until he felt a slight resistance. He then thrust the rest of the way in with one hard movement. Anna felt a sharp stab of pain and sucked in a breath of air through her teeth. The pain quickly subsided, but a dull thud ensued.
The first movements were tentative. John didn't want to cause Anna any more pain, so he let her adjust to the feeling of having him inside of her. After a few moments of hesitation, Anna raised her hips, acting on instinct. John met her hips and started a slow but sure rhythm. Nothing was said as they learned what it was like to be together. As Anna relaxed, she moved her hands, wrapping her arms around John's back and occasionally trailing her hands down his back, holding his hips into hers. Anna kissed his neck as she heard his breathing in her ear. She could remember no better sound in the world than that of her husband's vocalized pleasures in her ear. At one point, their mouths found each other, their movements slowing. At other times, the pace increased, movements becoming frantic and rhythms lost. And then John slowed down. He reached his hand between them and found her wetness. He once again touched that place that gave her such pleasure. He caressed her and whispered in her ear. He told her how much he loved her and how beautiful she was. How he loved the sight of her body stretched out beneath his, and how he wanted to touch her intimately every day. Anna could feel an energy building in her loins. As he continued to move inside her and caress her and whisper to her, Anna could feel herself arching into him, losing all rhythm so that she could press him as deeply into herself as possible. As she rose up off the bed, she lost all sense of direction, her breathing came in quick gasps and her hands grabbed aimlessly at the sheets. Finally, she let out a series of involuntary moans as she felt an explosion at her core, an ebb and flow of waves of pleasure. It took her a minute to find herself, come back to where she was. When she did become conscious of her surroundings, she noticed that John's movements had stilled and he was cupping her face with his hand, his other hand tangled in her hair. He kissed her jaw, her collarbone, and finally made his way back to her mouth. She met his tongue with fervor and she felt him move once again within her, his movements triggering residual tremors of pleasure throughout her body. His movements increased in speed, and his moans of pleasure became more frequent. His final movements became frantic, Anna failing to keep the earlier joint cadence. John moved his hands lower, pulling Anna's hips towards him, trying to push as deep as possible. Suddenly his hips stilled, his hands pulling Anna's hips with force, a primitive moan escaping his lips.
John collapsed on top of Anna, kissing her tiredly on the neck before rolling off, leaving a trail of moisture on her thigh. John used the sheet to clean Anna off. He moved over on the bed, pulling her with him to avoid the wet spot.
John reached over and caressed Anna's face. She smiled at him, now knowing what it felt like to be a woman; to have the shroud of mystery lifted, being pleasantly surprised in the process. If anything, she felt more love for John now than she had ever felt. She mused on this as she tiredly closed her eyes.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
A little later, Anna opened her eyes as she felt John caress her face, felt him rub his hand down her side, down her hip. She met his hand with her own, keeping his hand on her hip and rubbing it with her thumb.
"Well, Mrs. Bates," he paused, "you've had your way with me…"
He He, I loved that line about Anna having her way with him. I'm glad she finally stood up to him and told him how things were going to be. I'm also VERY glad Lady Mary arranged this little soiree.
Comments are always appreciated.