I know that it's a bit odd to be posting this after Halloween, but Queen of Sin wanted some of us to do a fic for the occasion and I, sticking to my usual ways, was far less than punctual in accepting. I wasn't going to do it, but she made me feel guilty about it without even trying that hard, so here's my attempt. (Thanks to Rosie and Lieke for all the help and dealing with me this morning. I know I was a pain.)
This is what she wanted-
1. A Halloween fic.
2. FLUFF... or at least end fluffy.
3. GSR (what else?)
4. MUST mention Spoons or the word "Spoon" at LEAST 5 times... and it has to be in some sort of context; you can't just randomly type "Spoon" 5 times...
5. Actual Smut OR mentions of smuttiness.
6. Must have the line "Green tea is green...therefore it's moldy." or something to that effect.
7. At least 1,000 words.
8. Grissom's favorite candy.
When everyone else had heard that Greg had decided against throwing his infamous Halloween party this year, the protests were immediate.
It didn't take much to convince Greg to finally have it; Greenpeace probably would have bought a whale-steak with the way Nick was talking at him. Eventually it was decided that the entire lab, Ecklie excluded, was invited to what was sure to be the best damn party of the year.
Still fidgeting with his costume as he scurried around his house, Greg was more than proud of what he'd been able to accomplish with as little time as he'd had to prepare. It was classic; fake cobwebs, smoke machine, skeletons, bowls of Cheetos…you name it and Greg had it. He knew what all of his friends liked and always made sure to have some on hand for them, regardless of what it was. He even had some grub worms for Grissom. (Because Grissom liked them so much and because they'd gross people out.)
Just as he'd stuck a spoon in the last bowl of food, the doorbell rang. When it did, Greg's face lit up like a tacky Christmas tree and he practically ran to the door. He flung it open and, before he could say anything himself, was greeted with "Touch it!"
"Touch it?" he asked.
"Touch it!" Sara repeated with a giant grin, jutting her fake neck wound forward for him to touch. "Touch it, touch it!"
Behind her, Grissom rolled his eyes and sighed, "Hello, Greg."
"Hey, Griss." Greg gave a short wave and looked back to Sara. Her face was painted a grayish-white and had some gnarly looking wounds on it. Her neck wound was pretty nasty, too. "Sara-"
"Touch it already!" she laughed.
"I don't want-" he started, but was cut off when she grabbed his hand and put it on her neck.
"Isn't that just the coolest?!" she squealed.
When Greg peeled his hand away and fake blood came with it, he said, "Yeah. Yeah, it's just the greatest" with the best smile he could manage.
"Doc did an awesome job," she said. "Oh, that's what I am, by the way. I'm an escapee from his table." She opened her coat and her decently low-cut shirt allowed him to see part of a 'Y' incision.
"And Grissom is?"
"Mad scientist," Grissom answered.
"Original," Greg laughed, leading them inside and taking their coats.
"I was too busy being made to 'touch it' to come up with anything else before we left the house."
"Ew." Greg shuddered. "I really don't need to know that." When he said that, Grissom started to respond, but the doorbell rang. Greg opened it to see Warrick and a very natural-looking Catherine.
"Greg?" Catherine said.
"Greg?" Warrick repeated.
"What's wrong with him?"
"I think it's your outfit," Warrick laughed.
"Shut up," she said and pushed her way passed the dazed Greg.
"WHOA!" Sara exclaimed. "Nice stripper outfit, Cath. Borrow clothes from some old friends?"
"I'm not a stripper, I'm a naughty nurse!" Catherine scoffed.
Sara laughed, "What the hell's the difference?"
"About two hundred bucks an hour," she answered.
"Nice," Grissom said. "So, Warrick, if she's the nurse, and you're sporting a white coat, I presume you're the doctor in the duo?"
"Doctor Howie Felterup, at your service," Warrick said proudly with a bow.
Right as everyone got done laughing at that, more guests arrived.
This time it was Ecklie at the door. Well, not Ecklie Ecklie…but Ecklie via Nick.
Nick, sporting a bald cap with a thin ring of hair glued around it and a very cheesy suit, made his way into Greg's house carrying a stick with him. "Hey, guys. What's up?"
Everyone looked at him funny as he grabbed a beer and popped it open. "What?" he asked, scratching his leg with the stick.
Greg spoke up. "Okay. Ecklie…we get that much, yeah, but not the stick."
"Oh," Nick laughed and held it up. "It's the stick they pulled out of my ass. Gotta make the costume complete, you know."
"Ohhh," came the drawn out response from everyone just in time for more guests to arrive.
Greg ran to the door and opened it to reveal Hodges and Wendy…actually, a guy in a white jumpsuit and helmet and some chick in a short, poofy dress and curly wig.
"What the heck are you two supposed to be?" Greg asked them, stepping back and allowing them in.
"I'm Little Miss Muffet," Wendy said.
Across the room, Nick nudged Warrick and said, "Holy crap, she's hot. She could sit on my tuffet anytime, that's for damn sure."
Warrick laughed in agreement and Wendy flipped them off.
Hodges informed Greg that he had arrived as Speed Racer. "As if you couldn't tell by the costume, Greg," Hodges scoffed.
Greg, Warrick and Nick burst out laughing at him.
"What? Why's that so funny?" Hodges asked, a little worried that he'd gotten something on the rented outfit.
"Y-You dressed up and took your girlfriend out as Speed Racer?! Hodges, like that's not a bad sex joke just waiting to happen!"
"I'm not his girlfriend," Wendy said quickly and took off towards Sara and Catherine.
Hodges and Greg watched her walk off, her short skirt bouncing the whole way, before Hodges told Greg how much he loathed him and walked off himself.
Greg got about two steps away before there was a knock at the door. "Huzzah! More guests!" he yelled and pulled the door open again.
"Doc and David," he announced. "Completely un-dressed."
"EW!" Nick shuddered. "Don't let them in naked!"
"That's not what he meant, Stokes," Doc snapped as he walked in. "He meant out of costume."
"Doc," Greg whined, shutting the door. "Why didn't you dress up?!"
"I'm me," he answered. "Isn't it enough that I got talked into coming here to babysit you drunks?"
"Whatever. David, what are you supposed to be?" Greg asked him, seeing as he was dressed for field work.
"I guess I'm the coroner," David shrugged. "Not really original for me, I know, but I just got done taking a body in, so I didn't have time to change."
"Ew. Go wash your hands," Greg scoffed. "The food's over there," he said, pointing to the table of food that Nick and Warrick were destroying.
David cringed. "Gross, they aren't even using the spoons for some of it."
"Hands, spoons, what's the difference?" Greg laughed.
"E-coli, staph, the end of the world in general," Sara answered for him.
With a his mouth full of a secret Papa Olaf recipe, Nick said, "Yeah, this coming from the woman drinking green tea while the rest of us drink beer."
"What?" she said. "It's good and good for you."
"Green tea is green...therefore it's moldy. That can't be good for you," he mused, nearly choking.
"Chew your food or I'll gouge it out of your throat with the spoons you aren't using, Nick," Doc warned.
"Ha. Doc's gonna spoon Nick," Hodges said and actually got a laugh out of everyone.
Greg spoke up. "Hey, this is a nice party so far. We don't need any dirty talk like that," he joked.
"With a stripper here, I think the chance of decent conversation is out the window," Wendy laughed. "Besides, Howie Felterup?"
Warrick shrugged. "It's the best I could come up with back in the day. I went to a party like this in college and totally got some in a closet. Pardon me for having some high hopes for tonight," he said and winked at Catherine.
"They won't be the only ones," Grissom whispered to Sara, causing her to choke a little herself.
With Warrick being high-fived from Nick and Greg for his comment, Hodges went ahead and answered the door for Greg. This time it was Bobby, Archie, and a few more lab techs.
Making fun of the fact that Archie had lost a bet to Bobby and showed up as the Hamburglar, Greg got called out on his own costume.
"How could you guys not know who I am?!" Greg yelled.
"How could you expect us to?"
Greg gave a runway strut, expecting that to work for their imaginations. When it didn't, he gave up. "Oh, come on! I'm him!" he yelled, pointing at Grissom.
"Ohhh," they said.
"Jeez," he huffed. "How did you not get that?"
"The coke-bottle glasses kill it a little," Sara said.
Everyone nodded and muttered their agreement.
"You suck," Greg said. "I'm in a lab coat with fake bugs and beetles glued all over it. I have a gray wig on. Grissom wears glasses; I'm wearing glasses. Who cares how thick they are? And what about my nametag, guys? It says 'Hello, my name is Bugman' on it. How'd you miss that?!"
They shrugged and Greg muttered his hate as they doorbell rang again. It was more lab techs arriving again, this time bringing beer with them.
Helping him put the beer away, Grissom said, "Well, this is turning out to be quite the party, Greg."
"I know," he agreed. "I'm glad you guys talked me into having it."
"Why weren't you going to in the first place?"
He blushed. "Eh, it's stupid. I just figured it was time for me to grow up a little. These parties are a little…immature sometimes."
"Greg, we wouldn't like you if you grew up, buddy," Nick joked as he finished off his fourth beer.
"Nice, ya alcoholic," Greg said. "Why don't you go drink some more?"
"Fine! I will!" Nick laughed and did just that.
Everyone did, actually. A lot.
With the majority of the nightshift there, a great deal of alcohol was consumed at the party. With Sara and Doc being the only sober people there, there weren't enough designated drivers to take everyone home, so people just slept where they fell. Greg didn't care; he really couldn't since he was the first to pass out.
Being the first to wake in the morning, he ignored the headache and allowed himself a few laughs at the sights before him. Speed Racer was slumped over his coffee table; Doctor Felterup and his nurse were in his kitchen, sleeping on the floor next to the fridge; The mad scientist and autopsy escapee were sleeping in a cute little curled mass on the couch; Ecklie via Nick, minus the stick, was asleep in his bathtub; Doc had fallen asleep sitting straight up in a chair next to the couch; Little Miss Tuffet was found in his pantry, holding onto a packet of hot cocoa mix for dear life; David had stolen Nick's stick when he'd passed out in the tub and had become paranoid halfway through the night. He'd set up a look-out at Greg's door, and that's where Greg found him- sitting at the door, passed out and still clutching the stick; Everyone else was just randomly scattered about on the floor and needed to be stepped over if you wished to walk around the house.
If all of his parties went over this well, Greg decided he certainly never wanted to grow up.
And none of us would want him to, would we? Anyway, I'm pretty sure I got everything. (There's a wee bit of fluff in there.)
Since I'm obviously not above the influence, I fail to believe that you are either. Be some sweethearts and review for me, 'kay?
thegreatbluespoon