Gin, Sodomy, and the Lash
The Constructicons were exploring a cave. On the moon.
"Hey, Hook!" Bonecrusher shouted. "Why the hell are we in here?"
Hook stopped suddenly and frowned, stroking his chin. Confusion overtook his expression. "You know, I do not really know..." he replied.
Bonecrusher shrugged, and was about to ask Scrapper if he knew when suddenly a boy with a pony tail and ragged brown clothes jumped out of nowhere and flew up towards the ceiling, crowing. He then bowed forward in mid-air and declared, "Welcome! I'm Peter Pan!"
However, before anyone could react to the new arrival, an entirely different boy who wore a garment of tattered leaves leapt out of a random side-cave and flew at the first boy, dagger drawn. "No you aren't!" he shouted. "I'm Peter Pan!"
Then both boys suddenly remembered something very important: they weren't on the Neverland moon, which is inhabited by The Girl Who Lives In The Moon (whose real name is Mary Sue). No, this was the real moon, which had no breathable air. Peter Pans, all of them, had notoriously bad memories, and it was very understandable that they might have forgotten a minor detail such as that. Indeed, it would have been better if that had stayed forgotten, for as soon as they remembered, both boys immediately dropped down to the cave bottom, dead!
Mixmaster stared and opened his mouth to ask what the smelt that was all about, but no sound came out. This was because once it was remembered that there was no air on the moon, sound ceased to carry.
Meanwhile, on the wall of the cave, Vetinari's clock ticked, tocked, and sputtered it's uneven way through time. Or rather, it would, if it could make any sound at all.
Just then, somewhere further down the Hypertime stream, someone (probably Mr. and Mrs. Beaver) built a dam. This caused the cave to fill up with so much extra time that the entire scene was washed right of existence before anyone could figure out why the story was titled, "Gin, Sodomy, and the Lash!"
Eventually, the dam in the Hypertime stream caused it to change course, meaning that no one was dead after all, and all those involved never realized that it happened. Er, didn't happen. Er...
Ah, forget it!
The End.
Author's Notes: Complete and utter nonsense, I know. I can't even blame it on crack, because I don't use the stuff.
During a daily flash-fic challenge, I was given my choice of at least one of the following prompts:
1. Vetinari's clock.
2. Gin, sodomy, and the lash.
3. Crisis on Infinite Neverlands
4. Constructicons exploring a cave. Your choice of where the cave is, and why they're doing it.
The last person had also suggested "Constructicons… on the moon!" the day before, and person #3 was submitting the same suggestion for two days in a row.
After finding myself completely uninspired by any of the prompts for awhile, I began banging my head against my desk. During this process, the prompts all rattled around in my head and got mixed up in each other. When I was done, this fell out of my ear.