A very emotional, angsty story from Kaiba's point of view after Joey catches him cheating with another, and the CEO finally realizes how much the blond really means to him.
A/N: Reposted as my old account was frozen.
WARNING: yaoi, angst, Kaiba/Joey as the central pairing with a mention of Kaiba/Otogi as well.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters.
I love you even more the second time around.
Our first love was a rush of emotions - too many for that one special one to catch my heart. Love got lost in the swirling tornado of lust, longing and desire. Love was the last thing on my mind when you were in front of me. When you weren't, my thoughts drifted to other things. I had other priorities then; I didn't linger on you after you had left my bed.
Perhaps that's why it happened. I had made no special attachments, no commitments, so any and every body felt the same beneath mine in bed. You weren't around to distract my mind that night. Otogi was. Mistakes were made. Realizations too.
My heart noticed it before my mind did. His body was different after all. His touch and taste left my senses wanting something sweeter and more yielding. Something soft and welcoming. Otogi had something I realized I preferred a sexual partner didn't have - something I suddenly realized, with all its implications, that you didn't have - experience. He had done this as many times before as I had; maybe more. It wasn't special to him. -I- wasn't special to him - not like I was special to you...
I hadn't noticed or even ever considered how much I meant to you until that night you caught us. When I saw that first teardrop gather at the corner of your eye and glisten gently against your pale, thick eyelashes, seconds before it fell, I knew. I knew what we almost had had, and what I had just thrown away.
I didn't realize how much I really wanted you until I lost you. It was a hard summer. I thought about you everyday, without seeing you once. I dreamed about you too.
School was a relief. You couldn't avoid me there, but it seems like you never even wanted to. I've critisized you before for being too immature, but you proved your maturity by waiting outside my locker after that first day back at school had ended, unasked. I brought the subject up first. You listened, and even that was much more than I'm sure I deserved. By the end of my apology, I was crying - surprisingly real tears, not forced fake ones - and clutched your hand, pleading for forgiveness. Begging.
A smile began to spread over your face. I anticipated cruel words or harsh laughter, so I braced myself. All my usual walls and defenses were down; I was open and vulnerable. I was shocked.
You hugged me.
As if nothing had happened that night two months before, you simply smiled and pulled me against you. You held me close and tight and whispered the words I had always ignored or taken too lightly before, but was now so desperate to hear:
"I love you, Seto."
"I love you too, Joey. I'm sorry."