1Disclaimer - I do not own any of these characters.
It was winter time in point place. Everyone had their own jobs, and were doing well. But one day something strange happened...
(The door opens in Foreman's basement. Fez walks in to see Michael Kelso playing Atari.)
Kelso - Hey Fez you gotta play me in this game! Donkey Kong is awesome. I'll kick your ass!
Fez - Ah, I'll kick your ass later! I woke up this morning... went to do my daily aerobics and toning, and I did my whole workout class without breaking a sweat. When we were to hold a weight and stepping up on boxes, I used 50 pounds.
(Kelso stares at him in disbelief.)
Kelso - You know Fez, you gotta stop making this stuff up. I mean, sure you teach an aerobics class, and give lots of hots girls massages, but your not gonna tell me you can lift 50 pounds in each arm.
Fez - No really I can. Wonder what else I can do?
Kelso - Oh yeah! Let's have an arm wrestling match. You haven't even come close to beating me, and you won't beat me so come on!
Fez - Ah Kelso, save yourself the pain.
(At that time Steven Hyde walks down the steps.)
Hyde - Hey man! You guys will never guess what happened to me this morning! When I woke up, I lit up my morning snack, and practiced my Zen techniques. By the way, thanks for giving me a class to teach Fez! It's like I am the leader of a Zen-like rebellion, prepared to take out all those damn diplomatic assholes.
Kelso - Come on Hyde! (He punches him) You tell us about this everyday.
Hyde - (punches him back) Well guys. When I lit up my morning snack, I started to meditate. You know, I went over it before, I imagine being a crow, flying through the air, and looking through peoples window... but anyway, when I opened my eyes, I was floating.
Kelso - You guys are so stupid. Fez has these powers to not get tired in a workout, and lift a ton of weight, and you can float. Did I miss out on the last session?
(Hyde punches Kelso again)
Hyde - You know Kelso, I know you are jealous that we are better than you, and that I have Jackie and you don't-
Kelso - You may have Jackie but I can have anyone else.
Hyde - But I have the one you want most. (He grins deviously)
(At that time Eric comes down stares)
Hyde - Hey Foreman! You know I can float now, and Fez is Superman. It's really cool.
Fez - You know I do wear a superman outfit at home-
Hyde - You mean you go home and run around in tights.
Fez - Yes. I enjoy it! Maybe I will wear them more often, and melt all this snow with my heat vision. (He shoots fire out of his eyes and melts some snow outside.) Wow, I really can.
Eric - Yeah well you know what was lying beside me when I woke up this morning.
Kelso - Donna? You gotta tell us the details man!
Eric - No Man! It was something way cooler...
(Just as he said that Donna came in)
Donna - SO what the hell is cooler than me you jackass?
Eric - Donna I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to come out that way. But you guys have to see this! (He hauls a cylindrical item out of his pocket, presses a button a it glows Blue.) Isn't that so cool you guys? I have a real light saber!
Kelso - If you have a real light saber than cut through my new camera. ( He cuts through the camera., and Kelso gazes at him.) Aw! My camera, that was brand new!
Hyde - (smiling) Haha you told him to do it man.
Kelso - How come your guys all have these cool powers and I don't have any... wait, I can get any girl I want! So there-
Hyde - Except for Jackie! (He grins again)
Kelso - You know what Hyde. I am getting tired of this. (He swings at Hyde, which is block by some type of invisible shield.)
Donna - (smiling) Well Kelso. It looks like your right. You are completely useless. (She sidesteps without seeing Kelso throw a cupcake.)
Kelso - Aw how did you know I was gonna throw that at you.
Donna - Well, I woke up this morning with really good instincts, lets just say, I knew.
(They all go home, shower, and change, and meet at the mall.)
Fez - Hey guys! How do I look?
Eric - Man, I gotta say, as much as it hurts to do so. Those tights really suit you.
Fez - Why thank you Eric. You Jedi Robe looks good as well.
Kelso - (Staring into a group of girls) Hey guys, I'll show you superpowers!
Hey Ladies how bout you come over to my house later, and we can DO It!
Girl1 - Ah Kelso we did it last night.
Eric - (to the girls) You do not like Kelso!
Girl1 - And even if I did come over. You were horrible last night, and I hate you!
Eric - Well Kelso, I see what you mean. You really can get whatever girls you want. (He laughs)
(At that time, tires squeal, and a car whirls toward a building. Fez with his powers, runs in front of it, catches it, and sets it down in a safer spot.)
Girl1 - Oh Fez you are my hero! Will you come to my place with me.
Fez - Oh yeah, I'll go anywhere with you baby. (At Kelso) I WIN!
Kelso - You know Fez, you can be such a -
Fez - I say good day! ... (to girl) I bet you can wait to see my other superpowers.
(They walk off.)
Eric - Wow Kelso. Fez just stole your girl!
AGAIN!
Hyde - Kelso, that is such a BURN!
(Leo appears behind them)
Leo - Hey where is that girl, and that guy, and that other girl?
Hyde - Hey Leo man! You gotta see this. Eric, get me my lunch!
Eric - (forcefully pulling Hyde's "lunch" to him and gives it to Hyde.)
Leo - Wow that's really cool man. What can you do Heidi?
Hyde - It's Hyde Leo. But watch this! ( He sits down, indulges, and floats)
Leo - Wow man! What are you smoking? Hey, watch this man. I think I have a power too.
(Leo makes a weird gesture with his hands.) KAMI...HAMI...HAAAAAAA!
(At this time Leo is yelling and wave his hands, and nothing happens.)
Hyde - Leo what are you doing man?
Leo - Wow! Did you just see that man? I shot a bunch of stuff at the building! See the smoke... whoa, I lit that place on fire man.
Hyde - It's not on fire Leo! You gave us a hell of a show though.
Leo - WOW really man? It must be the acid man! I took three tablets this morning, and I think I am really tripping out.
Hyde - Damn Leo Man! How come you didn't tell me?
Leo - Listen Heidi. Life is full of ups and downs and you are down right now. Be careful man.
Hyde - Whatever Leo.
(Later that night)
(Hyde walks into his music store to find Leo sitting with an older man. He was bald, had little glasses, and a goatee.)
Man - Leo, My Son. You must learn to control you energy... not only in your mind, but physically as well.
Leo - Hey Hyde man! I'd like you to meet my Dad. His name is Yoshi-
Man - I am not your father my Son. I simply call you son to show you as one of my students and to show that I am your superior. And my name is not Yoshi. It is Roshi. I would like you to refer to me as Master Roshi.
Leo - Yeah Hyde man, Master Roshi has some crazy herbs, you gotta try them.
Hyde - Where did you meet this old geyser-
Roshi - Noone calls me Geyser... KAMI...HAMI...HAAAAAAA!
(A large shot of energy shoots at Hyde. Hyde simply uses his Zen to create an absorption shield, and nullifies the attack.)
Roshi - How did you do that!
Hyde - Looks like you still have much to learn young grasshopper.
Roshi - I am not a grasshopper and am not young-
Hyde - Young Grasshopper is my term to one who is my student. I am your superior.
Leo - Enough of this man! Your both really cool dudes. But there's no fighting allowed in my house. Now, please leave!
(Hyde and Roshi stare at each other and laugh.)
Roshi - Leo, My Son. You have indulged too much tonight. Steven, I like you. And it was nice meeting you.
Hyde - Wait a minute man, how did you know my name?
(When he looked to direct his question, Roshi was gone.)
Leo - Wow man. That was crazy. Yoshi said that I could do that. (A hand comes out of nowhere, slaps Leo, and holds up a sign that says Roshi, and disappears.)
Hyde - Leo man, you gotta learn that guys name. He seems to have problems with the name Yoshi... But it is funny to see his reaction though.
(Next Day)
(Randy comes to Foreman's Basement)
Randy - Hey guys I have been having a hell of a time. I will really be able to take Eric out now that he is back with Donna-
Fez - AGAIN! I don't know what she sees in him. I wish she would see that in me.
Randy - Well, a couple days ago I got up, and breathed fire. Now I can control the flames and also ignite my hands... By the way, why are you wearing those tights Fez?
Fez - I am SuperFez! I can run really fast, and lift anything!
Randy - Hmm! Weird. Did we all get something?
(Fez Laughs)
Fez - Yeah, all except Kelso. That's what he gets for leaving me behind and working at the playboy mansion of Chicago.
Randy - Haha that's awesome.
Kelso - Hey, what are you guys talking about. Are you talking about the time Eric pulled Donna's pants down?
Randy - I wasn't there. But that doesn't seem very funny man. What's wrong with you?
Kelso - (Shocked look on his face.) What's wrong with you man? That was hilarious! You know what? You are just jealous because you didn't get a chance to see it!
Randy - No! I'm not! I can't see how Foreman was able to hold on to her. With pulling her pants down, or dumping her from Africa. How is that impressing to her?
Fez - (From the top of the house) HEY GUYS! I can see Donna changing in her room from here! I love X Ray vision.
Randy - See? You guys do not respect Donna or any other women at all... (Watching T.V.) Holy Shit! Did you just see that chick on the trampoline?
Kelso - (Staring at the T.V.) Aw! I wish I was that trampoline... Did you see that?
(Leo comes down stares)
Leo - KAMI... HAMI...
(Hyde runs down and grabs Leo)
Hyde - Leo man, what the hell do you think you are doing? You realize if you do that, you could seriously injure the powerless Kelso? Haha! That would be pretty funny actually... wait a minute... what was I just talking about?
Kelso - (Now staring at Hyde) Aw Hyde! You had another session with just Leo? You should have told me.
Hyde - Ah, young grasshopper. You have not missed out because you have missed out, you have missed out from not being.
Kelso - Hyde? You have been acting really weird lately. I don't have a clue what you are talking about.
Hyde - Yeah, isn't it cool man? Leo man, that was some good grass man. It seems to make me like... YAHA!
(Everyone jumps back as Hyde jumps forward.)
Fez - (Walking back into the basement.) Hyde? Why are you so scary?
Hyde - What the hell you talking about?
Fez - I was watching you from the roof. I can see through walls.
Hyde - Fez, you creepy little man... Holy shit man. Is that Foreman across the road?
(They all look out the window to see Eric, with five college girls around him.)
Fez - I wish I could make people think what I want them to think.
Leo - You mans... the guy is having one of those down days the Heidi was having, but he is having an up day today. That's really cool man!
Hyde - What the hell are you talking about now Leo?
Leo - You don't know man?
(Red walks downstair with steel toed boots on, at the same time, Eric walks in.)
Eric - Hey Dad. What are the boots for?
Red - What do you think they are for? They are for kicking all your ass'. That's why I have so many pairs here. (Red looks at the boots, raises his hands and they all elevate.)
Red - And there is no point in trying to use your dumbass mind tricks on me, because after all... I AM YOUR FATHER!
(Jackie rolls off the bed and sits up!)
Jackie - Wow! That was a really weird dream... okay princes and unicorns, princes and unicorns... Zzzzzzzzzz.
(And she falls back to sleep. Dreaming of Hyde riding a unicorn.)
The End