Prologue
If to be alive is to breathe air and feel the rush of warm blood through your veins then is death to never have fresh air fill your lungs and to be forever cold inside? I never wondered about these things before and I never dreamed that one day I would learn them first hand but let's start at the beginning of the story...the path that led to my immortality.
My name is BellaDee and all my life I have been looking for love. My parents got divorced when I was just a young child and being an only child I was left alone as they worked. I learned ways to occupy myself but my dream became to be loved, to have a family like I saw in my favorite books where everyone was loved and it ended happily ever after. So when I met him, Edward...my whole world changed, suddenly there was someone who wanted to see me, wanted to make sure I was alright and in my mind all that meant he loved me. And love lasts forever right?
Chapter 1
It was a boring Friday night in Forks, there was nothing to do but head off to the bar that was on the edge of town and rumored to serve minors. I figured this night would be just like all the others but then
Standing there next to my truck, I was about to turn around and head back home when a body collided into mine-it changed my life forever, it was him...
Despite the pain in my arm from the collision all my mind could register is that he was standing here. Edward Masen was well known and so handsome that he took my breath away. Trying not to show how much being near him affected me and act like a total fool I just smiled him. When he asked if I was okay, I rubbed my arm and nodded that I was fine. He was even better looking this close and he had a friendly amused look on his face as we talked. He seemed pleased that I knew his name but then he called me by name. He knows my name! The shock of it made me shuffle nervously back and forth till I stumbled forward almost falling over but Edward didn't let me. He moved forward quickly taking hold of me and didn't laugh. Dying of embarrassment I could not speak but with his hands still holding me steady I gazed up to look at his face. What I say there was not what I expected. He was looking at me warmly with a hint of amusement in those beautiful blue eyes of his.
The few minutes we talked with him still holding me made time stop, I could have stood there forever and still would have been disappointed when he let go of me. He seemed to be watching to make sure that I did not fall again and I fumbled finding words. All I knew is that I did not want him to walk away from me. What if we never saw each other again? But I could not find the courage to ask for his phone number or to give him mine. We talked until I heard someone call out his name. After turning to call out to his friend, Edward turned back to me with that smile of his telling me goodbye. Watching him walk away I was filled with the strongest longing to chase after him but my stupid feet rendered me motionless. Slowly coming to my senses I heard my name from across the parking lot from my friend Jessica. She had seen Edward and me together.
Suddenly I was the center of a thousand questions as Jessica rushed over to me. All her questions centered on Edward. Did I know him? What did he say to me? As she continued on I just laughed not answering walking across the parking lot. Then she floored me with one….do you think that he likes you? I stopped and turned to her with wide eyes, "Jessica, he ran into me by accident, and then apologized. There that was it….all that happened. End of story."
I managed to get away from Jessica and join the rest of our friends. I just wanted to blow off some steam and have fun. I gladly took a beer and as I began to take a drink I noticed Edward across the room. I almost choked; I thought that he had left. Wiping beer off my chin from my coughing spell I caught Edward grinning at me. I couldn't help but laugh while I nodded to him. As the night went on, the more I drank the happier I felt. I found myself glancing across the room at Edward more and more often. Each time our eyes met my heart raced. It made me forget anyone else is in the room but him and me. At last call I was disappointed. My friends all left like they came in a big group so I left as I arrived….alone. Out in the parking lot I inhaled deeply letting the fresh air fill my lungs, after the bar it feels like heaven. I looked up to see Edward walking out with a few of his friends. I didn't know what to say but as I stared at him my stupid phone suddenly popped out of my pocket and landed a few feet away. In the dark I can't see it and swore out loud. Dropping to my knees and fumbling in the dark I ran my hands over the ground looking for it. Then I bumped into something hard, looking up I see it's him. He has my phone in his hand. As I reach for it our hands meet. We both jump a bit and before I can think I lean forward to kiss him softly. I gasp at the rush. His lips are warm and soft and when we kiss it sets a flush of warmth flooding over my entire body making me want and need more.
Suddenly I am being pulled up and pushed back hard against my truck. As he kisses me, I quickly tuck my phone back into my pocket. Then I bring my hands to his hair pulling him to me never wanting him to leave. The feel of his lips, so hot and wet against mine makes me moan softly. Something in me feels suddenly alive, a warmth rushes up my spine and I feel weak. I cling to him and if he was not holding me up I know I would have fallen in front of him again. Our kisses grow more and more intense while I continue to pull his hair moaning against his lips. I feel his hands beginning to explore me over my clothes and its making me tingle like mad. There is a heat growing in me that I cannot explain, it's like being alive for the first time. His hands grope my breasts making my nipples stand up hard and firm. I close my eyes letting myself get lost in the feelings he is creating. I stop kissing him for a moment while his hands linger there. I hear his soft whisper, "Bella, is this too much?"
Opening my eyes I take my hands from his hair to slide down his back pulling him close to me, it's on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I have never done any of this before but I can't speak. I just bring my hands over his pushing them harder against my breasts. I kiss him hard then feel him continuing, his touch is making me wild. On their own my hands find their way down to his ass and pull him hard towards me. Then our bodies collide again, this time it makes us both groan loudly and then it's on. There is no stopping this now, I don't want this to stop and we may have just met this night, this might make me a whore or tramp but I want this man, right now on this night. Feeling him pressed again me like this, I need him. I can tell he is feeling it too so I finally find my voice, "Edward, maybe we should take this someplace."
His response is to pull me with him to his car; I don't worry about my truck as he takes us to his place. On the way, a million things try to come into my mind and stop me but I refuse to listen to them. I lean back against the soft leather seat and just stare at him. He laughs when he sees the look in my eyes and I feel a hand come onto my knee. He brings it up slowly then grinds it between my legs lighting a fire. I have only been touched there once or twice by myself, his touch awakens an aching feeling that I have never known. I squirm in the seat moaning and find myself pressing back against his hand spreading my legs wide. I don't have any idea how long the drive was but it was sweet torture. A warm wetness swept over me making me want this more and more.
I feel the car stop and then Edward lunges at me. Those hot kisses grow more and more intense, this time I feel him pushing his tongue into my mouth. I don't fight him but try to follow his lead and move my tongue against his. But I gasp in shock as I feel his hand creep under my shirt. If he notices that I am not sure of this or that I don't know what I am doing, he does not let on but continue to move his hand higher and higher till he is running his fingers over the edges of my bra. My breasts feel like they are aching for his touch and as if he senses my need his fingers slide under my bra caressing my nipples softly. My whole body wants and needs more, making me whisper his name full of longing. The drunken feeling I had is being replaced by a haze of lust, my whole body is trained on Edward and what his nearness, his kisses and his touch is doing to me. I want him and I need him, I don't know him but I don't care. I have never had this feeling before but I will not stop this between us. I run my hands through his hair and whisper into his ear, "Don't stop Edward, touch me….explore me."
In response to my words I feel his hands move from my breasts to the top of my jeans. He expertly pops opens the button and as I hear the zipper come down I nearly bite his lips while we kiss. My whole body is shaking and then his hand moves into my jeans over my panties. I close my eyes and almost whimper with the power of the rush he is giving me then I feel him move under the edge of my panties feeling how wet I am and making me wetter as he pushes his fingers deep inside me. I don't think but let my body react, my hips thrust forward against his touch wanting more. Again the thought of telling him that I have not done this comes to me but as he moves his fingers deeper and harder into me, I can't do anything but moan louder and louder. My whole body begins to shudder as my first true orgasm takes hold of me. I want to scream but instead I kiss him hard and pull at his hair while I try to breathe through it. Then he stops and takes his hands from me.
I breathe in hard and just as I lean back in the seat to button my jeans the car door opens. Rob reaches for me pulling me out and I don't bother fixing my jeans but take his hand letting him pull me inside his house. As soon as the door is shut, he comes at me kissing me banging my body into the door hard. He pulls up my shirt and we stop kissing only long enough for me to let him pull it up my arms and off. He throws it down but doesn't let my arms fall back down. Pinning me against the door he kisses me while our bodies grind harder and harder. I can feel him pressed hard and ready against me, it makes me shake with need for him. There is nothing in this world but him, me and our passion. As he takes off my bra, I pull at his shirt. My bra falls to the floor with my shirt as he pulls his off too. This time when we kiss our bare chests rub making me close my eyes again, this feeling is getting stronger and stronger. I can feel myself growing so wet that its beginning to run down my thigh. I can't wait much longer, "Edward, where is your bedroom?"
Walking behind him, I know that I have one last chance to change my mind and tell him that I'm a virgin but I can't speak. I want him too much, and I'm afraid that will scare him away. I need him so much right now that as I walk my body is pulsating with that need. In his room, he turns to look at me pulling off the rest of his clothes. The sight of him completely naked in front of me floors me. I just stand there staring making him laugh at me but I don't hear him. All I can focus on is him, the lines of that strong body and then gazing lower and lower. He is the first man I have ever seen like this and its making me bite my lip hard. My eyes are fixed on that male part of him; I am fumbling in my mind with this longing. His cock is bigger than I imagined and standing straight up as if reaching for me. I am motionless as I stare at it. Edward says nothing but reaches for me kissing me harder and harder then I feel his hands pushing down my jeans; my panties come off with them. The reality of what we are going to do hits me and I stumble trying to push them off completely. Again Edward stops me from falling but then moves us back suddenly letting me go. I gasp as I fall back hard onto his bed, his hands pull off my jeans finally freeing me to him completely. Knowing that nothing is in the way now makes me spread my legs and beckon to him. I need him now…
As he comes near me, I just stare at him not sure what will happen next but all those thoughts are forgotten as I feel him grind against me. We are now warm flesh on flesh pressing hard against each other as I close my eyes lying back. He comes between my legs pushing down and I can't stand it I have to watch. I lean my head up and watch as he slowly prods at me with his cock. I am not afraid, I know it going to hurt but I want him so much. As he pushes against me I gasp as just the tip of him enters me. My whole body shudders hard but I don't want him to stop. I urge him on with my words and bring my hands down his back racking him with my nails till he pushes further into me. Then I cry out, it burns like hell at first and I have to fight the urge to push this sudden invasion of my body away but I just breathe in deep. Edward does not move at first but brings his hands to my breasts first gentle caressing them and teasing his fingertips around my nipples. As that makes me moan I feel a sharp pain as he then pinches them both hard. Taking advantage of my gasp he pushes himself all the way deep inside me, now it doesn't hurt. It feels amazing, it's just the strangest feeling and when he kisses me I urge him to move. He hesitates at first till I grab him hard by the hair, "Fuck me Edward, now!"
My words must have reached him because suddenly his hands are pushing my thighs even further open as he drives himself hard and deep inside me. I cry out louder and louder as he makes me feel like I am going to die in his bed. I can feel myself so tight around him that each move he makes almost brings me up off the bed. Thank god he is holding me down as my body starts to pulsate and I feel my walls tightening around him even more. I can't stop it and I don't want to, I hear him mutter under his breath but I can't focus on him. I close my eyes and bring my hands to my hair pulling hard trying not to scream as I shudder under him but he doesn't slow his pace. It making me feel like I'm riding waves of pleasure each one more and more intense until I can't bear it and I scream. The sound of my scream is still in the air as I feel him pull out of me.
All I can do it try to breath but just as I can feel my racing heart slow down I am being flipped over and pulled to the edge of the bed. I can't speak to protest but try to grab the covers to stop him but too late. As my feet hit the floor I feel him dive back into me making me scream again. I am getting wetter every second that passes and it's running down my legs as he brings both hands to my hips, I don't fight him as he pulls my bottom up thrusting deeper and faster. This position is hitting a spot with each thrust that makes me cry out; he knows this and hits it hard each time. I dig my hands into the bedding and try to muffle my screams but then he dead stops. I don't move unsure of what he is about to do but I can feel him still buried deep in my warmth. My body is still shaking hard around him.
I hear my name and then his hands come up my back to my hair. I relax a bit as he moves them caressing my head then suddenly he pulls me by the hair back making my back arch as he starts to pound into me hard. I can't muffle my screams as he pulls me up almost off the bed and now I can hear his groans as well. I am losing control almost feeling like I will pass out as a heat spreads through me; I scream out his name then hear him groan so loud like he is in pain. A hot rush fills me up and then he collapses down on me pushing us both on the bed. I just lie there breathing hard till I feel his hand on my bottom slapping me lightly. I move up on the bed and he lies down next to me. No words are spoken as we turn to look at each other. I don't know what to say, this has been the most intense experience of my life and I don't want it to end but I don't know how to tell him that. Edward closes his eyes and for a moment I just stare at him not afraid to show how hard this hit me but then he opens them so I just look away.
He gets up and leaves the room, I don't know if I should leave or stay. I sit up just as he comes back in with two beers. "You aren't ready to leave yet, are you Bella?" I shake my head and reach for the beer, its cold as hell and as I hold it the condensation drips off it onto me. As soon as the cold hits my heated flesh I bite my lip trying not to cry out. Edward sees this and laughs at me. I down part of my beer and try not to look at him but suddenly he pulls me near. I get a hot kiss and then cry out against his lips, he is dripping ice cold beer down my chest. Before I can say a word, he pushes me back on the bed licking it off me and moving his way down lower and lower. I fall back on the bed and almost drop the bottle still in my hand, his licking goes down to my breasts biting at me hard then to my belly. As he bites me softly there, I feel the beer bottle cold as ice resting against my thigh and try to push it away. I hear a laugh and suddenly the bottle moves up the inside of my thigh closer and closer till Edward rests it against my dripping core. I scream out and move up the bed away from him while he laughs.
"That was cold as hell, don't do that again." I try to pull myself away from him but he is not going to let that happen. I kick at him as he quickly downs the rest of his beer dropping the bottle to the floor and pulling me back under him. "Stop that."
"I don't think you really want me to stop Bella, we have the rest of the night. Let's go again and again." I am back under him and he moves back down between my legs but this time it's his lips he brings to my core not the bottle. His lips are warm and soft as he kisses me there and I feel myself tingling until he suddenly begins to lick at me. My hips arch up as I gasp but he pushes them down and buries his face between my lips. That touch on my clit and then his tongue fucking me makes me start to moan again and rock my hips against his face. Then I hear his teasing whisper "so do you really want me to stop."
I can't answer with words so I reach down with my hands pushing him deep between my legs. This time I feel his laughter, it makes his lips and tongue vibrate inside me. I scream out as I cum again, this time on his face. He doesn't move but stays there licking at me until I stop bucking against his face. Then he pulls me to him and enters me again hard, I am so wet he slides in easily and I want to scream again just minutes later. He flips us again and I am on top.
I stare down at him not sure what to do but his hands on my hips start me rocking over him. Each rock back and forth makes me cry out but it's becoming an addictive feeling, I need more. I start moving on my own swaying my hips side to side, he groans loudly and stops directing me. I move faster and harder, and then come down hard to just stop while my inner walls shake so hard. I don't have long before I cum again but his face looks as if he will join me. I move up as slow as I can, I can feel his cock nearly spilling out of me, then back down to take him deep inside me groaning. Again I move up till he almost escapes my warmth and just as he protests I slam myself down making us both scream out as I begin to pulsate around him again. I can't move now, the power of this one takes me over, I feel him flip us over pushing my knees to my chest fucking me so hard that it almost hurts but it feels so good that I just scream over and over till I hear him almost screaming too. He explodes inside me again and then collapses against me.
We pass out that way and then in the morning as the first light comes over my face I stretch noticing how my whole body feels different to me….parts of it are still warm and pulsating reminding me of what happened. I feel Edward sleeping next to me so I slowly turn over to stare at him but he is already awake. I feel myself being pushed on my side as he spoons up behind me. "So are you too sore for more of me?"
Feeling Edward's body pressed up behind mine wakes me up in a hurry. I can still feel him in the heat and stiffness between my legs but as he presses against me I feel him growing hard again. I can't say no to him, I want him for as long as I can have him so I just laugh softly and whisper back to him. "More of you? I think I can handle that but aren't you worried that we already woke up the whole house last night?"
As he presses against me, I feel his hands running down my side. He moves to my breasts as he kisses my neck. "No Bella this is my house, I live here alone. So you can scream as loud and as often as you like." I can't answer as he suddenly brings a hand between my legs. I am so tender there that I have to grind my teeth together to keep from telling him to stop. I close my eyes and let him continue, thankfully it only hurts for a moment before the sweet tingling feeling begins again and I can feel myself growing wet. Pressed against my ass, I feel Edward's cock hard and ready. He continues to rub my clit until I am almost begging him to take me again. I hear him laugh now as he pulls my leg over his, I am about to say something to him when I feel him pushing at my core again. This time as he slides into me there is no pain, no burning just this incredible feeling of being one….being closer to any person ever and it makes me moan at once. He starts out with long slow deep thrusts, moving as deep into me as he can before slowly coming back almost leaving me then sliding in again. It is exquisite torture. Each thrust I can feel as he slips along my walls and before long my leg over his is shaking hard. Then I hear him teasing me, "So Bella are you that slow and gentle girl? Or do you like it like this?" Without warning, Edward brings his hand to my waist and begins to pound into me hard. The long slow thrusts are replaced by short rapid deep thrusts making me scream as they come faster and harder. Then just as I am about to explode he stops. "So which do you like?"
I bite my lip as he then starts over with the long slow deep thrusts but I know what I want, I turn my head to him and this time I don't whisper but almost yell as I grow demanding. "Edward I want you to fuck me, this slow and gentle is not me." I don't hear a response but feel it instead. He pushes me onto my stomach on the bed and then lifts my ass up towards him coming into me hard and fast. I keep my face buried in the covers as I am almost immediately screaming. His thrusts are so deep that some hurt but the mix of pain and pleasure is taking me over the edge. I can feel my walls tightening around him almost clenching his cock as it moves in and out of me. He moves faster and faster till I am writhing on the bed with the covers so tight in my hands that my knuckles are turning white when I hear his groan. He is deep inside me as he releases, I can feel it pumping hot into me as he stops just holding my ass against him before he slowly moves away.
I watch him rise from the bed and head to the next room, I don't know what to say. I never dreamed that I would be waking up in his bed this morning and now what? Do I ask him to take me back to my truck or do I just call my sister for a ride home? My mind is a blur when he comes back into the room. "Oh Bella, the bathroom is right there and here are your clothes that we left in the hallway." He has the cutest smirk on his face as he tosses my bra and shirt at me. His words make me blush remembering how we tossed them off on the way in. I stand up naked holding my clothes as I head to the bathroom. "Hey." Edward calls out to me; I stumble into his dresser as I try to turn around to see what he wants. I hear him laugh as he hands me my jeans with my panties rolled up inside them. "You okay?"
I swear to myself, damn I am just too clumsy but he seems amused watching me. "Yeah Edward I am fine. Thanks." I head into the bathroom and as soon as I have the door shut I bring my hand to my forehead face palm style. Why does he make me so nervous so that I stumble in front of him like a damn fool? I stare into the mirror and notice at once my neck; I have a few dark red marks. Shit, he marked me and in places that are not going to be easy to hide either. I blush bright red thinking of how in the hell I am going to explain those. I don't want him wondering what I am doing in here for so long so I quickly pee and get dressed but as I pull up my jeans I moan. The rough fabric over my core makes me cringe. I am still sore as hell from him and tingling, not quite throbbing. I zip them up and move to the sink splashing water on my face before I head back out to the bedroom.
Edward is fully dressed and waiting for me. "Let's go pick up your truck. You must be hungry too." I nod and follow him into the kitchen. As we walk through the house I can tell that he lives here alone. It looks like a single guy's house and there are no pictures like families always have scattered about but I love this place. Something about Edward's home just makes me feel welcome. I laugh when he sees me looking around. "So you like?"
"Yeah I do nice place so you live here alone?"
He nods and leads me to the kitchen. "Help yourself to whatever you want." I nod and head to the fridge, he has so much food in here. Way more than one person needs.
I look back at him, "so you want something to? I can make us both something?" He nods and then leans against the counter next to the stove as I pull things out of the fridge. I fumble in his cupboards until I find what I need but when I lean down to grab a frying pan I feel his hand on my ass making me drop the pan on my foot. As I curse he laughs. "Not funny Edward that hurt."
"Ah poor baby, let me see." I gasp as he lifts me onto the counter and rubs my foot. It's not my foot that I feel as I stare at him, he just laughs and tells me that I will live. As I slide down off the counter, I feel his hand on my ass again but this time it's a hard slap. "Aren't you supposed to be cooking?"
"Damn you Edward, stop that. You are distracting me." He only laughs and as I cook he just leans against the counter gazing at me as he checks his cell phone. I had forgotten about mine, it is probably dead but I don't care. I will check it later. As we eat sitting at his table there is total silence at first. It is uncomfortable until he asks me about my family and tells me about his. Suddenly that uncomfortable feeling is gone. The more we talk the more we seem to have in common. It makes me want to stay longer but when he stands up I know it's time to go.
We head to the bar which looks so run down and like a dive in the light of day. My truck is all alone on the edge of the parking lot. As Edward stops the car, I feel his hand on my arm. "Bella, before you go." Then I feel him pulling me to him. He kisses me hard which makes me wet instantly. "I know that it's probably not right and I should have stopped this, should have told you this before we slept together but I have a girlfriend." His words hit me like a knife to my heart as he begins to kiss me again.