A/N: One shot... my fatal attempt at a D/Hr ficlet. I'm not good at the
D/Hr ship, cuz I'm a mushy mushy love type person, and this ship is hard to
be mushy with, but you asked for one, so here we go!
Disclaimer: I own it all. Psssh! You believed that?
******
The Essence of Failing
"You failed! You always failed in everything, my son..." his father's voice echoed in his head. "You failed!"
Draco jumped from his bed, sweaty and breathing fast because of having another nightmare. Although his father died a month ago, he still haunted his son's dreams at night.
Last month, the last desperate battle against Voldemort - and his fellow Dark Wizards - the Death Eaters.
It was a month ago that 17 year old Draco Malfoy decided he didn't want to follow into the Dark Arts, that he wanted to fight against Voldemort, AND his father, who was one of the most important supporters of the Dark Lord. So Draco stood side by side with his former arch enemies, the people around Dumbledore, and the famous Harry Potter. And in the end, they won the fight. It cost the lives of hundreds of loyal wizards and witches but at last, the Dark Side was defeated.
When Dumbledore told Draco that his father was killed during the last day of the final battle, at first he felt nothing. No sadness, not hate, no regrets, no feelings at all. But after realizing what it really meant for him and his further life, a great wave of relief washed over Draco. Completely releasing him from his angst, pain, and fears. He was free. Free to decide, free to do whatever he wanted to do. And free to love. Free to love the person he admired secretly for so long. His feelings towards her always were well hidden from everyone. No one would have ever guessed. He could even fool his father... but now, there was no more reason to hide it. Except one.
The fear of being rejected. The fear of making himself out as a fool. He never admitted any feelings to anybody, so probably she wouldn't even believe him. Though there was no more hate between them, no more insulting or fighting, it simply was peace with the slightest bit of friendship in it, but love... ? That was not a thing he could ever expect from her.
But he needed to tell her, needed her to know - not that it would change anything, but he needed her to know.
"They'll leave in an hour!" his mind screamed. Draco shot a quick glance at his watch, then showered and dressed quickly. He hurried down the stairs, through the Great Hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, left the castle behind, and soon reached the station; where the train was already waiting for the students to get on.
There they stood. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger. Draco slowed down to catch his breath and walked over to them. "Hey, did you change your mind and decided to come with us now?!" Ron greeted him curiously.
"No, no! I still need to talk to Dumbledore what to do best with Malfoy Manor and the, umm, 'stuff' my father kept there. Need to check out how to get rid of that. Dumbledore and Snape promised me they'd help. Just came down to say goodbye." Draco smiled slightly.
"Bye then, Weas... um, Ron I wanted to say!"
"Bye Malfoy!" Ron answered, emphasizing the surname of his former enemy. But he grinned when they shook hands. Draco shook hands with Harry, too, stating a "Well Done!" at the boy who - once again - lived.
And then, there she was. Draco felt quite awkward turning to Hermione. He didn't know how to react, how to actually say goodbye to her when everything he really wanted was to hold her in his arms, wanted her to stay... with him.
Silence.
None of them spoke, they only gazed into each other's eyes. After some time, the girl broke the silence. "Well...bye, Draco!"
"Yeah, bye, Hermione!" he replied fakely enthusiastic. Hermione turned away from him and headed to follow her friends on to the train.
Suddenly it burst out of Draco. "Wait!" he screamed after her "Wait, I need to tell you something! I'm sorry for the last years, I really am. I never meant to hurt you, I... I love you, Hermione, I love you with every part of my heart and soul! I love you!"
But Hermione never turned around to face him, never looked back at him and it was then, that Draco realized he hadn't really spoken out the words out loud. He only screamed in his mind, where the words remained a last desperate wish, just something he kept his own.
And so he never dared to tell Hermione about his feelings, she never turned around, she never looked him in the eyes again.
And so Draco never saw the silent tears falling from her eyes as she entered the train.
"You failed..... " his father's voice echoed in his head.
Disclaimer: I own it all. Psssh! You believed that?
******
The Essence of Failing
"You failed! You always failed in everything, my son..." his father's voice echoed in his head. "You failed!"
Draco jumped from his bed, sweaty and breathing fast because of having another nightmare. Although his father died a month ago, he still haunted his son's dreams at night.
Last month, the last desperate battle against Voldemort - and his fellow Dark Wizards - the Death Eaters.
It was a month ago that 17 year old Draco Malfoy decided he didn't want to follow into the Dark Arts, that he wanted to fight against Voldemort, AND his father, who was one of the most important supporters of the Dark Lord. So Draco stood side by side with his former arch enemies, the people around Dumbledore, and the famous Harry Potter. And in the end, they won the fight. It cost the lives of hundreds of loyal wizards and witches but at last, the Dark Side was defeated.
When Dumbledore told Draco that his father was killed during the last day of the final battle, at first he felt nothing. No sadness, not hate, no regrets, no feelings at all. But after realizing what it really meant for him and his further life, a great wave of relief washed over Draco. Completely releasing him from his angst, pain, and fears. He was free. Free to decide, free to do whatever he wanted to do. And free to love. Free to love the person he admired secretly for so long. His feelings towards her always were well hidden from everyone. No one would have ever guessed. He could even fool his father... but now, there was no more reason to hide it. Except one.
The fear of being rejected. The fear of making himself out as a fool. He never admitted any feelings to anybody, so probably she wouldn't even believe him. Though there was no more hate between them, no more insulting or fighting, it simply was peace with the slightest bit of friendship in it, but love... ? That was not a thing he could ever expect from her.
But he needed to tell her, needed her to know - not that it would change anything, but he needed her to know.
"They'll leave in an hour!" his mind screamed. Draco shot a quick glance at his watch, then showered and dressed quickly. He hurried down the stairs, through the Great Hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, left the castle behind, and soon reached the station; where the train was already waiting for the students to get on.
There they stood. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger. Draco slowed down to catch his breath and walked over to them. "Hey, did you change your mind and decided to come with us now?!" Ron greeted him curiously.
"No, no! I still need to talk to Dumbledore what to do best with Malfoy Manor and the, umm, 'stuff' my father kept there. Need to check out how to get rid of that. Dumbledore and Snape promised me they'd help. Just came down to say goodbye." Draco smiled slightly.
"Bye then, Weas... um, Ron I wanted to say!"
"Bye Malfoy!" Ron answered, emphasizing the surname of his former enemy. But he grinned when they shook hands. Draco shook hands with Harry, too, stating a "Well Done!" at the boy who - once again - lived.
And then, there she was. Draco felt quite awkward turning to Hermione. He didn't know how to react, how to actually say goodbye to her when everything he really wanted was to hold her in his arms, wanted her to stay... with him.
Silence.
None of them spoke, they only gazed into each other's eyes. After some time, the girl broke the silence. "Well...bye, Draco!"
"Yeah, bye, Hermione!" he replied fakely enthusiastic. Hermione turned away from him and headed to follow her friends on to the train.
Suddenly it burst out of Draco. "Wait!" he screamed after her "Wait, I need to tell you something! I'm sorry for the last years, I really am. I never meant to hurt you, I... I love you, Hermione, I love you with every part of my heart and soul! I love you!"
But Hermione never turned around to face him, never looked back at him and it was then, that Draco realized he hadn't really spoken out the words out loud. He only screamed in his mind, where the words remained a last desperate wish, just something he kept his own.
And so he never dared to tell Hermione about his feelings, she never turned around, she never looked him in the eyes again.
And so Draco never saw the silent tears falling from her eyes as she entered the train.
"You failed..... " his father's voice echoed in his head.