A.Y.C.O.Y.S.?

1 (Are You Confident of Your Sexuality?)

2 By: JC Maxwell-Yuy

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JC: I know WHAT you're thinking? Gross, gross, gross. But it's actually very funny. If someone can think of an unused, new, imaginative, title for the story, tell me and I might change it, not!

Solo: What is up with the title anyway?

JC: you'll see.

Duo: It was torture! PURE TORTURE™!

JC: Yeah, tell it to the judge.

Heero: JC doesn't own GW, and probably never will. (sigh) Which is a good thing, but you can't sue me when I say the disclaimer, or anyone else who says it, cause' I say it best! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

JC: That's it! No more Starbucks™!

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Oh, it was a good idea. A very good idea. The wheels in Dorothy Catalonia's brain turned.

'I must fight in the next battle. But to do that, I must be a man!' so she had gone to the five scientists to ask them to build a device that would do so.

Unfortunately, the only leftover material she could smuggle down to Libra's prison was a TV remote. So the scientists built the device, and now Dorothy had lost it. She didn't know where it went, which was VERY unfortunate.

"Mr. Milliardo, do you know where the bridge big screen remote disappeared to?" Quinze asked.

"No. Why?" Milliardo asked, annoyed.

"I just… oh nevermind." Quinze said when he saw a remote next to the chair Dorothy always sat in. He aimed it at the bridge monitor screen and pressed a button and…

Duo Maxwell woke up in his room on the Peacemillion.

'I feel very odd.' He thought to himself as he got up and went to the bathroom. 'What is it? Is it something on my face?'

And then a loud scream echoed through the deepest darkness of space.

"MINNA-SAN! MINNA-SAN! WHAT SHOULD I DO?" Duo screamed and ran into the cafeteria. "I'M A WOMAN!"

"So we all noticed." A beautiful blonde girl said.

"I HATE THIS!" A cute Chinese girl with a very revealing outfit grumbled. "OF ALL THINGS, WHY A WOMAN? WOMEN ARE WEAK!"

"Hn." A very dangerous Japanese girl grunted and quickly subdued the Chinese one.

"I can't believe that guy… er… girl." A blonde guy with a croissant ponytail muttered in annoyance.

"Really Sally, that's no reason for… uh… " Another man in cowboy-fringe clothes stared at the unconscious Chinese girl on the floor.

"Sally… and Noin?" Duo gasped.

"Duo. At least you're dressed decently." The man formerly known as Noin the woman greeted.

"And yes, I've told Heero not to wear that tank top without a bra." The man formerly known as Sally turned away and sighed.

"I already told you. I DON'T HAVE ONE!" Heero cried, his… er… her eyes flashing, as if she'd gone through this for quite a while.

"If you had one, you'd be a pervert." A soft voice said as a Latin woman with a bang covering one of her eyes walked in.

"Is that Trowa?" Duo gasped. "He's… er … She's… HOT!"

"Strange. Although we have switched genders, our hormones don't seem to be affected." Quatre noted. "Although I like the fact that I can now wear pink- house-fashion-for-girly-girls™ and not be laughed at."

"You look good." Duo gave the blonde a thumbs up just as Wufei woke up.

"Maxwell! YOU!" Wufei glared.

"Me? What did I do?" the braided bo… er… girl stepped back as Wufei angrily jabbed a finger at Duo's chest.

"YOU HAVE A BIGGER CHEST! I HAVE TO WEAR A PADDED BRA TO LOOK THIS BIG!"

"EH?" Everyone else groaned and fell over in the pissed-off-disturbed- kinda-way™.

"Well, I think that we should all just try to deal with this problem later. Right now, we have to concentrate on the war." Trowa flipped her bangs and sighed. "I don't think that our piloting skills will be affected by a sex change."

"He takes it so calmly… I mean, she." Duo whispered to Quatre.

"I know." Quatre muttered and then ran off to find a padded bra for Duo's chest was really out-doing™ them all.

"I HATE THIS PUNY WEAK BODY™!" Wufei suddenly sat up and started ranting and raving about women in a high, loud, annoying voice™.

"Shut up. Don't be so emotional woman!" Noin slapped Wufei across the face, backed up by Sally and a mallet-to-hit-justice-boys-turned-girls-who-rant- and-rave-about-their-gender™.

"THANK YOU!" Heero said suddenly, and then went back to being his… er… her usually stoic self™.

"What's with all the '™'s lately?" Trowa wondered.

"No idea. Must be one of those days." Duo said and wandered over to see if she could look down Heero's tank top.

"DUO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Heero shrieked as Duo grabbed her butt.

"Your right Sally. You shouldn't wear a tank-top without a bra!" Duo chorused after a quick beating.

"Which is why…" a voice called through the room. "You can all borrow stuff from me!"

"HOWARD?!" echoed through the dining room when the old man-turned-woman entered in a hot-pink-string-bikini-that-princesses-edit-and-slash-the-film- parts-of-which-they-are-caught-wearing-it™.

"EEEEEEPPPPPP!!!" Duo hid behind the potted palm.

"YOU CRIMINAL! PUT THOSE BOOBS AWAY!" Noin went after Howard with his old- pervy-woman-bashing-mallet-steel-mark-3™. A whirlwind went through the ship as Noin and Sally chased Howard, now dubbed Hochelle around Peacemillion from the bridge to the small blue and yellow portable bathrooms in the hangar.

Meanwhile…

"Drat. I smeared my lipstick." Quinze muttered and opened a compact to apply make-up to her grizzled, wrinkled, only a dumb-bimbo-could-love- face™. The white haired woman was also wearing a polka-dotted jumper with frilly cuffs and collars.

"I thought channel 55 had better porn." A random soldier-turned-to-the- opposite-gender remarked.

"SHUT UP!" Dorothy, the man, now dubbed Doth, went over and whacked the perverted pansy pion for all she/he was worth.

"Oh, MY NEW DENTAL WORK!" the perverted pansy pion moaned in horror and melted into a little puddle of…. GREEN GOOP™!

"I always knew we had slime working for us." Milliardo leaned back against her large, comfortable, now bright pink bridge chair. "I'M THE WOMAN IN THE FAMILY NOW! ALL HAIL ME! TAKE THAT RELENA! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"I think I'll try channel 990." Quinze muttered and switched the remote on.

"Who cares?" Doth said smirking, admiring his own body. "It's not going to interfere with anything."

FLLLLLLAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!

"OH NO! I'M A… A… PURPLE DINOSAUUUUURRRRRR!!!" echoed through space a few minutes later.

"Oh, I beg to differ." Relena grinned at her perfect reflection, the little make-up she used highlighting her features, making her beauty seem flawless™. "I don't know what I did to that freaky remote control, but I bet it was something BAD! Oh yeah, who's the main girl running the show now? Huh? TAKE THAT DOROTHY! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"My hair is bruised." Duo said surprised.

=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=0=)=)=)=)=)=)=0=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=0=)=)=)=

JC: And so, that's the way it goes!

Solo: Please R&R!!! JC loves feedback.

JC: I do! I do!

Solo: So what's next?

JC: Dunno. Let's just… why am I a cat?

Solo: Probably the same reason that I'm a koala.

JC: ZERO SYSTEM QUATRE! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!