Title: Strange Love
Rating: PG, just cause I rate everything that...
Pairing: Dawn/Spike mostly friendship, hints at Buffy/Spike
Spoilers: None really, slight hints at "The Gift", but nothing serious
A/N: Thanks to Sarah Brightman for having a wonderful song called Strange Love... :)
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Strange Love -::- Part One
"Strange thing, love is." He says.
I tend to agree, look at the way he looks at her. It is a strange love. And for the life of me
I can't understand it. How he can feel so much for a woman who tends to beat the snot
out of him before kissing him senseless. It seems so strange to me, that he could love
anyone at all. After everything Buffy has been so sure about, that vampires can't love.
After everything she told me about these heartless beings she was sent to kill.
But I saw it in his eyes, as he was watching her come down those stairs. I saw the
thoughts crash through his bottle blond head. She was ghost, a dream, a mere flight of his
imagination and if he dared to even breathe she might be gone. But she was real. The shock
and love on his face was real to.
Now he's sitting here, waiting beside me for her to come home. She's been gone for days.
Sometimes I can remember how many and sometimes I can't. But he knows the hours, even
though he hasn't eaten or slept. He's out on the front porch from just after sundown till
the first pink rays of sunrise. Sometimes he lets me sit beside him, sometimes I know
when he doesn't want me there.
"Love makes you do the wacky." I say softly.
He almost smiles, almost grins, blue eyes so clear as they flood with tears I wonder if that
crack was the sound of his heart breaking. But then maybe it was mine.
I want him to go after her, track her and find her. He could love her and they would both
be happy and free of me and this cursed place. But he won't leave me.
*You're the only part of her we have left little bit.*
Sometimes I wish that everyone would remember that I'm not Buffy. But I know he knows
that, if I were really part of Buffy I could make him as happy as he was before she picked
up Mr. Gordo and was gone. Strange love, one that no one can shake loose from him.
"It feels like she's gone." I whisper, afraid of the silence.
He reaches for my hand. "I know."
"No, not like that. It feels the way it did when she..."
"She'll be back."
I try to explain that it isn't the emotional pain of not knowing. Something inside me is
missing, aching the way it did when she died. I close my eyes against the tears and he
squeezes my hand tighter.
Suddenly I understand why he loves her so much. It's the same reason why I love him as
much as I do. Because you don't ever get to choose where your heart leads you. No matter
what you are never in control.
And his hand is a welcome distraction to the strange tingling I feel in my fingers. I know
it's real now, she's really not coming back.
He lets me go and I slowly walk back inside. I lay down on the couch and cry myself to
sleep. To a sleep tortured with visions of my sister, bleeding and broken far away where I
can't save her.
The dreams shake me, the cold sweat covering me like a mist. She's gone and she couldn't
even say goodbye. I could almost see him standing there, falling to his knees, kissing her
now cold lips and cursing her for what she has done.
I don't see him when I wake.
He hasn't been near for hours, the note beside me on the floor reads a message of what's
he's done and I know what he is to find. He won't need to ask, I've seen it already.
*Little Bit --
Gone to look for Buffy,
-- Spike*
I sent the paper down, all alone in this prison. She's gone, she loved us enough to let us go.
She returned to the heaven she came from and part of me wishes her well. Maybe she'll be
happy and complete and the rest of us can go on living without her.
I sit with my eyes trained on the wall across from me. Mr. Gordo lands beside me on the
couch and two pale, cold hands hold my shoulders as I scream in surprise. A note is sitting
beside the green stuffed thing I hold with a great tenderness. His hands leave my
shoulders as I read the paper.
*Spike and Dawn--
I couldn't do this. I couldn't be the old Buffy you needed me to be after everything that
happened. Losing Anya and Tara was hard enough, Xander and Willow was worse. But Giles
was the last straw. I can't bear it if I lose you both too.
Spike, I know you will take care of her, till the end of the world. I'm trusting you with her
life and her care, don't make me come back to kill you.
Dawn, I love you always, please try to understand, don't be angry with me, please. I love
you, I have always loved you and you will make it without me I promise.
I love you both, be strong, stick together. Be brave, live, for me...
-- With love, Buffy*
I hug the pig to my face and cry. The note crumples in my hand and he doesn't have to say
anything. He's here, he's close and the sound of tears is enough for me. He sits down
beside me and holds me, tucked into his arms. I've done this so many times before, this
should be just the same.
But it isn't, it's Buffy and it hurts like hell inside and out. He kisses the top of my head and
holds me as tightly as he dares.
"This is a love is a strange love, the jaded kind of strange love." He whispers.
Rating: PG, just cause I rate everything that...
Pairing: Dawn/Spike mostly friendship, hints at Buffy/Spike
Spoilers: None really, slight hints at "The Gift", but nothing serious
A/N: Thanks to Sarah Brightman for having a wonderful song called Strange Love... :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Strange Love -::- Part One
"Strange thing, love is." He says.
I tend to agree, look at the way he looks at her. It is a strange love. And for the life of me
I can't understand it. How he can feel so much for a woman who tends to beat the snot
out of him before kissing him senseless. It seems so strange to me, that he could love
anyone at all. After everything Buffy has been so sure about, that vampires can't love.
After everything she told me about these heartless beings she was sent to kill.
But I saw it in his eyes, as he was watching her come down those stairs. I saw the
thoughts crash through his bottle blond head. She was ghost, a dream, a mere flight of his
imagination and if he dared to even breathe she might be gone. But she was real. The shock
and love on his face was real to.
Now he's sitting here, waiting beside me for her to come home. She's been gone for days.
Sometimes I can remember how many and sometimes I can't. But he knows the hours, even
though he hasn't eaten or slept. He's out on the front porch from just after sundown till
the first pink rays of sunrise. Sometimes he lets me sit beside him, sometimes I know
when he doesn't want me there.
"Love makes you do the wacky." I say softly.
He almost smiles, almost grins, blue eyes so clear as they flood with tears I wonder if that
crack was the sound of his heart breaking. But then maybe it was mine.
I want him to go after her, track her and find her. He could love her and they would both
be happy and free of me and this cursed place. But he won't leave me.
*You're the only part of her we have left little bit.*
Sometimes I wish that everyone would remember that I'm not Buffy. But I know he knows
that, if I were really part of Buffy I could make him as happy as he was before she picked
up Mr. Gordo and was gone. Strange love, one that no one can shake loose from him.
"It feels like she's gone." I whisper, afraid of the silence.
He reaches for my hand. "I know."
"No, not like that. It feels the way it did when she..."
"She'll be back."
I try to explain that it isn't the emotional pain of not knowing. Something inside me is
missing, aching the way it did when she died. I close my eyes against the tears and he
squeezes my hand tighter.
Suddenly I understand why he loves her so much. It's the same reason why I love him as
much as I do. Because you don't ever get to choose where your heart leads you. No matter
what you are never in control.
And his hand is a welcome distraction to the strange tingling I feel in my fingers. I know
it's real now, she's really not coming back.
He lets me go and I slowly walk back inside. I lay down on the couch and cry myself to
sleep. To a sleep tortured with visions of my sister, bleeding and broken far away where I
can't save her.
The dreams shake me, the cold sweat covering me like a mist. She's gone and she couldn't
even say goodbye. I could almost see him standing there, falling to his knees, kissing her
now cold lips and cursing her for what she has done.
I don't see him when I wake.
He hasn't been near for hours, the note beside me on the floor reads a message of what's
he's done and I know what he is to find. He won't need to ask, I've seen it already.
*Little Bit --
Gone to look for Buffy,
-- Spike*
I sent the paper down, all alone in this prison. She's gone, she loved us enough to let us go.
She returned to the heaven she came from and part of me wishes her well. Maybe she'll be
happy and complete and the rest of us can go on living without her.
I sit with my eyes trained on the wall across from me. Mr. Gordo lands beside me on the
couch and two pale, cold hands hold my shoulders as I scream in surprise. A note is sitting
beside the green stuffed thing I hold with a great tenderness. His hands leave my
shoulders as I read the paper.
*Spike and Dawn--
I couldn't do this. I couldn't be the old Buffy you needed me to be after everything that
happened. Losing Anya and Tara was hard enough, Xander and Willow was worse. But Giles
was the last straw. I can't bear it if I lose you both too.
Spike, I know you will take care of her, till the end of the world. I'm trusting you with her
life and her care, don't make me come back to kill you.
Dawn, I love you always, please try to understand, don't be angry with me, please. I love
you, I have always loved you and you will make it without me I promise.
I love you both, be strong, stick together. Be brave, live, for me...
-- With love, Buffy*
I hug the pig to my face and cry. The note crumples in my hand and he doesn't have to say
anything. He's here, he's close and the sound of tears is enough for me. He sits down
beside me and holds me, tucked into his arms. I've done this so many times before, this
should be just the same.
But it isn't, it's Buffy and it hurts like hell inside and out. He kisses the top of my head and
holds me as tightly as he dares.
"This is a love is a strange love, the jaded kind of strange love." He whispers.