Disclaimer: Anything you recognise, including characters, belong to their respective owners. This is a work of fiction and does not represent reality, please treat it as such.

Giving You All My Love

-x-

Jon stood at the top of the stairs with a smile on his face, watching Renee zipping up Lily's little pink duffle coat and helping her into the matching gloves. Lily had always been the smaller of the twins, but beyond that it was impossible to tell them apart. Daisy was next as Renee made sure they were both wrapped up nice and warm for their evening out. The girls had long dark blonde hair that fell in ringlets, much like Jon's own mess of curls. They had Renee's whisky-coloured eyes though and everyone commented on how striking they were.

Renee stood, brushing her hair back with a little huff of breath.

"Alright, the girls are all ready. Can you get El and Charlie while I pack some supplies?"

Charlie had the darkest hair, a soft brown colour. Both he and Ella shared Jon's blue eyes though.

"On it" he winked at her, grinning at the little smile on her face. He was still so in love with her, even after over a decade together. It was surreal that they were a family of six now. Ella already thirteen, Charlie was eight now and the twins five. Time flew. But when Renee mentioned she was missing having a baby around, he had to put his foot down.

"Can we talk?"

Renee looked at him curiously. "That's normally my line"

"I know" he laughed. "Don't worry, I'm not pregnant" he joked.

"Shut up" she punched his arm playfully. "What is it?" she asked, sitting down on the couch with him.

"I'm thinking about getting a vasectomy..."

Renee's jaw dropped.

"What?!"

"I didn't think you'd be this shocked" he rubbed the back of his neck with a grimace.

"Why?" she asked, horror written all over her face.

"You don't really want any more kids do you?" he asked wide-eyed.

"No…as much as I miss having a little baby to hold, four kids is crazy as it is"

"Then why are you looking at me like I've grown another head?" he frowned.

"Because...that's surgery Jon...the idea just makes me uncomfortable..."

"I know" he laughed. "The visual isn't exactly comfortable for me either"

"I just don't understand why...you don't think I'd purposely get pregnant again do you?"

"No, no, don't be ridiculous" he assured her. "I just thought it might be a good option for us, so we don't have to worry"

"Do you worry about it?" she reached out to stroke his cheek. "Because if you do then okay, I'll support you if you want to do this..."

"It doesn't keep me awake at night or anything...I just like our family the way it is"

"Me too. It just seems really extreme...I'm feeling quite sentimental about your sperm all of a sudden..."

He grinned.

"I could do the female equivalent?" she offered.

"You'd rather have an operation yourself than let me do it?"

She nodded.

"Maybe we should do some research" she suggested.

"I don't know if I want to see any pictures" he cringed.

"Me either" she laughed. "But if you feel strongly enough to sit me down and talk to me about it, then I think you need to know what you're signing yourself up for"

Half an hour later and Jon was decidedly less enthusiastic.

"What if you don't like sex anymore?" she asked with wide eyes.

"I don't think there's any danger of that darlin', it's not a brain transplant"

"It says it's only 99% effective too..."

"If I went through that and I still got you pregnant..."

"...with your super sperm" she laughed.

"...if my super sperm still got you pregnant after I let someone near my junk with a knife, I'd be pretty pissed"

"I don't think you should do it. If you're sure it's what you want to do then I'll be there to hold your hand..." she laid her head on his shoulder. "...but I don't feel it's worth it"

"I appreciate you being so supportive" he let his head rest on top of hers. "But I agree with you"

"Phew" she breathed a sigh of relief. "Also, thank you for telling me before you really made any decisions"

"You're welcome" he kissed her. "It's a decision that affects you too, even if it is my body"

He cringed at the memory.

"Charls" he called, knocking on the door his son's room. "Get your coat on, we're leaving in five"

"Okay dad!" the response came.

Jon shook his head, lamenting the amount of time they spent in their rooms playing video games and talking to their friends.

"Ella" he called, knocking her door next.

No reply.

"El!" he shouted.

With a frustrated shake of his head, he shoved the door open.

"Dad!" she screamed, slamming her laptop shut.

He swallowed down the urge to shout and flipped on the light.

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" he asked, keeping his tone authoritative.

"You can't just come in my room!"

"I can do what I like, this is my house" he reminded her. "Answer me when I call you"

She crossed her arms in defiance.

She was well and truly in her stroppy teenager phase at the moment and it was driving him absolutely crazy. Renee was taking it all in her stride thanks to her ability to relate to the struggles of being an adolescent girl but Jon was finding it really hard.

"We're going out, get ready"

He turned to leave.

"I'm not coming" she huffed.

"Yes. You are. Get your coat on"

"You can't make me do anything!" she shouted.

"You've got until the count of ten to get out of bed and downstairs"

"Fuck off"

Jon's heart dropped into his stomach. He clenched his fists so hard his nails bit into his palms.

The rage must have been written all over his face because when he turned around, she scrambled away from him.

"You ever say that word again and I promise you'll never leave this room again" he told her in a dark tone that was all the more frightening because it was so calm. Snatching her laptop from the bed and unplugging her TV, he carried them both out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him so hard the walls shook.

"What's wrong baby?" Renee asked, hearing the bang and seeing how white his face was as he descended the stairs.

When he didn't reply, she took his seething silence as terrible news.

"Charlie, can you take your sisters into the kitchen and shut the door please?" she asked.

"Okay mom"

When the door clicked shut softly, Renee beckoned him into the lounge.

"Jon what happened?" she asked, scared to touch him, the anger coming off him in waves.

"Our daughter just told me to fuck off" he grit out.

Renee's face dropped. "What?"

Her face creased with worry when he didn't say anything else, just flopped onto the couch and put his head in his hands.

"Why…?" she asked.

He took a few deep breaths to calm down and looked up at her. "I walked in and she was obviously doing something she shouldn't be because she slammed her computer shut. Told me I can't just walk in to her room"

He dropped his gaze to the floor again and Renee could see how upset he was.

Slumping down beside him, she laid her head on his shoulder. He took the hint and put his arm around her.

"What do we do?"

"I don't know" he replied quietly. "I took her TV and her computer away but…where did she hear that? She's thirteen for Christ's sake…"

"Kids are exposed to all kinds of stuff nowadays…" Renee whispered.

Jon grabbed her laptop from where he'd thrown it earlier and popped it open.

"Password" he growled when the screen lit up.

"It's GabiAmbrose16" Renee told him.

"How'd you know that?" he asked.

"It's the same as the password on her journal"

"She has a journal?" Jon balked.

"Little girls journals aren't meant for their daddies to see" Renee laughed. "Last year she used to tell me everything" Renee sighed sadly. "She calls herself Gabi Ambrose because she's so proud of you" she stroked his stubbly cheek. "She tells everyone at school you're her dad"

Jon was mortified to find himself getting emotional. It was hard. He felt like he was losing his little girl. She was rebelling and rejecting her parents.

Renee reached over and typed in the password. Facebook popped up, along with a string of messages to someone called 'Kyle'.

"I don't think we should be reading those" Renee took the laptop.

"The hell we shouldn't!" Jon protested. "She's thirteen!"

"Jon…she's a smart girl…we should trust her"

"She just told me to fuck off, trust went out of the window along with respect" he snapped.

"Calm down" Renee told him, making it clear she wasn't messing around. She knew he was worried, but he was getting too upset to make anything better.

"You read them then. But I swear to god if this kid is saying inappropriate things to my daughter, I'll kill him"

Renee sat down and scrolled through the messages. As far as she could tell, they were innocent enough. Renee smiled at the little hints of flirting going back and forth.

"What?" Jon asked, unable to contain himself any longer.

"It's fine. They're just chatting. It's cute actually"

"She's not allowed to talk to boys"

"Stop pouting" Renee shut the laptop, pinching Jon's cheek. "She's getting older Jon. She's starting to explore. If you react like this, of course she'll rebel. If you fly off the handle, she'll still do it all, she'll just keep it secret. Wouldn't you rather she could be honest with us?"

Jon narrowed his eyes. "You knew about this boy?"

"She's mentioned him a few times, usually with a dreamy look on her face" Renee laughed. "I told her to be careful"

His mouth dropped open.

"You've given her the sex talk haven't you…" he shot her an accusatory glance. "She's still a baby!"

"She's a teenager Jon. Yes I talked to her and I told her that she's too young. You'll be giving Charlie the same talk in a couple of years. But I made her promise that if ever she's thinking about it, she comes to me first. If you shout and yell, she'll do it anyway. Wouldn't you rather know?"

He sank back down, anguish on his face.

"I know she's your baby Jon, but she's growing up and I want her to be able to tell us everything. I don't ever want her to feel like she has to hide things from us. I don't want her coming home one day pregnant. I know she's only thirteen but it happens. I'm sorry I didn't consult you but I know these things upset you"

"I understand. I just miss the way she used to hold my hand and yell my name when I got home"

"She still thinks the world of you. She'll always be a daddy's girl. Go talk to her…" she urged.

Jon reached the top of the stairs and could already hear the sobbing. It tore his heart in two.

"El…?" he tried, pausing outside the door.

The crying got louder.

Pushing the door open, he found her face down, her head buried in her pillow as she cried her eyes out.

Closing the door behind him, he sat down on her bed and stroked her soft blonde hair.

"El…"

"I'm…s…sorry da…dad" she sobbed.

Scooping her up in his arms like he used to when she was three, he cuddled her to his chest.

"Shh" he soothed, rubbing her back. "It's okay" he whispered.

When she calmed down a bit, he let her wriggle out of his lap and settle cross-legged on the bed beside him. Her long, sandy blonde hair was to her waist now, her beautiful blue eyes framed by long eyelashes. She was a sight for sore eyes and he had to blink back tears at thought of losing their close relationship.

"I'm sorry dad…I didn't mean it" her breaths were still hitched.

"Don't use words like that" he told her.

She shook her head quickly.

"I don't know where you picked that up, probably at school, but I don't want to hear it again"

"Please dad…I'm sorry"

He reached out and she wrapped her arms around his waist again.

"I love you" he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Love you too dad"

"Who's Kyle?" he asked, unable to help himself.

"Dad!" she protested, both of them bursting into fits of laughter.

"I just worry about you…" he admitted.

"You don't have to worry about me dad. I'll be okay"

He brushed her hair back, hugging her close.

"Kyle is the boy I like at school. I want him to ask me to be his partner in science class but he asked Brett instead. That's why I was mad earlier…"

"Maybe he's gay…" Jon mused aloud.

"Dad!" she pushed him and they laughed again.

"He ever hurts you, you let me know"

"He won't…everyone at school knows you're my dad" she smiled.

"You'll always be my little girl, you know that?"

She nodded. "I love you dad"

"You coming out tonight or not? Your poor brother and sisters have been waiting half an hour"

She nodded, grabbing her winter boots and a cute bobble hat.

Making their way downstairs, Renee leaned up to give him a soft kiss, hugging Ella too.

"This is the first time we've done something this cute as a family in ages" Renee smiled as she zipped up her own coat.

"I know" Jon sighed, recalling how much he'd been on the road lately.

Tonight Jon and Renee were taking the kids to a lantern parade and street party nearby. With plans back on track, they headed off.

- x -

Renee had Lily on her shoulders so the little girl could see over the crowds, Jon doing the same with Daisy. Ella and Charlie were up ahead, enjoying the sight of all the amazing lanterns glowing against the night sky.

"You were right"

"What?" Renee asked.

"You were right about El. I want her to talk to me about stuff. I'm sorry" he apologised.

"That's okay. I know it's hard seeing them grow up" Renee slipped her hand into his. Holding onto Daisy, he leaned down to press a kiss to Renee's lips.

"I'm so lucky" he whispered as they set the twins down so they could go play.

"Not as lucky as me" she smiled up at him.

Renee was showing the twins how to safely hold a sparkler when Ella ran back to him.

"What's up princess?" he asked her.

"I miss you calling me that" she smiled.

He smiled so hard his face hurt when she slipped her hand into his as they walked.

"You'll always be my princess, even when you're thirty"

- x -

Drop me a review if you liked it!