Summary: Leon was never, ever doing that again. Ever. Well, maybe. LxC
Disclaimer: I know we all wished we owned them. But we don't (besides Square, anyway). ):
Leon could still clearly recall the first time he and Cloud met. He'd been walking from the Market Place with Yuffie, carrying groceries. And, as it turned out, he was also the one doing all the hard work. Yuffie was just skipping happily along beside him, much to his dislike.
Regardless of how much restoration work they'd done, Yuffie was still supposed to pull some weight around when they were just doing regular every-day things. Like buying food. Sometimes the brunet had to wonder whether or not Yuffie had been serious about being princess about that place called Wutai. No one else in the Committee had ever denied her claims, after all.
As they were going on their merry way, however, Yuffie had suddenly grown stock still and was staring at someone down below with wide eyes. Leon would have said that the ninja's eyes were about the same size as the materia that Aerith had once shown him.
"Clouuuuuuuud!" she'd squealed, jumping over the wall and landing below on a very unfortunate blonde. Leon would have laughed if he hadn't noticed Cloud's humongous sword. It was still a wonder to him how the younger man was able to wield it so easily. Cloud still hadn't let him anywhere near it yet, unless they were sparring unfortunately.
After their heartfelt reunion, Yuffie had gone off somewhere to bother Cid. Or perhaps inform him about the good news. Leon had always assumed the former, since he never saw the pilot come running outside right away, flailing his spear around and cursing about how Cloud never stopped by to prove to them that he wasn't just rotting away somewhere, for all they knew.
Once they were left to their own devices, Leon awkwardly lead the blonde man to Merlin's house, where the next person to rush out and greet them was none other than - surprise - Aerith. The more he saw how close this man was to his friends, the more out of place he felt.
None of them seemed to have noticed except Cloud, who gave him an apologetic look. He seemed to be feeling as awkward as Leon was at some points, although the brunet had never asked why.
As it so happened, Aerith thought this would be the perfect occasion ( and excuse, she still felt bad for not being able to make it up to Cid for finishing the town's defense system ) to bust out the booze.
This little forthcoming was kept hidden from Cid, of course, who as, quoted from Aerith, would have "squeezed every bottle in through the doorway he could find in town before dinner was even ready".
Dinner had been extremely pleasant. For once, Cid and Yuffie were not arguing over this and that, instead choosing to remind Cloud of some of his most embarassing moments. Of course, they just didn't talk about Cloud. They had to bring HIM into it.
One way or another, they'd finally finished eating and Aerith had finally announced that yes, they could get as drunk as they'd like to make Cloud feel a little more welcome in their midst.
During that period, Yuffie had, unfortunately, stayed sober enough to suggest playing a little...game called 'blowjob'.
The rules had been simple enough - down a bunch of cream-topped shots of beer. The catch was that you could only do it with your mouth, and that every time you spilled too much, you had to take off an article of clothing.
By that point, mostly everyone under Merlin's roof had downed a lot of alcohol as it were. Leon had probably been the worst of the bunch after they finished playing - he had been forced to strip all the way down to his boxers, much to the amusement of his friends. Not to mention he had a nice amount of whipped cream all over him.
Yuffie had even taken care to take a momento of that day with her camera. Leon had relentlessly tried to track it down afterwards, but with no such luck.
When he finally did find the camera, there was nothing in it. Yuffie had smugly told Leon that she'd sold off all the pictures. Leon didn't figure out who it was until he caught the ninja sneaking into Cloud's room one morning, asking him about the pictures.
Leon had burst into the room, looking triumphant. Alas, his hopes were dashed when it seemed that Yuffie instead was talking about something else, although just as humiliating. It was a picture of the time Aerith had forced him into a pink 'Kiss the Cook' apron to make her birthday cake.
At least now he had an idea of what happened to those photos. What Cloud would want with them, Leon wanted to find out. He'd known Cloud for about three months now. By then, they'd already been forced into a number of awkward situatioons. Yuffie had 'accidentally' locked both of them in Merlin's broom closet, which left them little room where they /weren't/ touching each other.
Yuffie always liked to say that they had a little "behind the scenes" going after they'd been freed from their confines, although neither of them were ever going to admit that that was exactly what had happened. But that's something for another day.
The next, less sexually pressuring moment of privacy they were given, Leon approached the blonde and asked about the photos in their now-shared room.
His response was: "For blackmail. Yuffie told me you need a little extra 'push' sometimes, so I thought it was a good idea."
Leon had stared dumbstruck, and then asked, "What do you want from /me/?"
"Plenty," Cloud said. "I think we've known each other for a sufficient enough amount of time for you to know what I want."
It took a moment before Leon had finally caught on. "You're kidding."
"Nope."
"But..."
"Don't even begin to protest, Leonhart. You want it as much as I do, and I'm finally giving you an excuse to."
Leon was stung by that comment. "I do /not/ need an excuse to give you blowjob."
"Really?" Cloud had sounded skeptical.
"Asshole."
"Dick."
"Oh, suck it- no! Damn it, that's not what I meant."
Cloud smirked. "See, you're thinking about it."
"Shut the hell up and take off your pants before I change my mind."
"Glad to hear we've reached an agreement, dearest."