CH 1: When life gives you lemons, throw them like fire balls back at life's sorry face if they're rotten!
"Oi, Yorozuya" Hijikata called, walking next to Okita as they went near the usual trio. Our three heroes were leisurely enjoying their free time, no work-time, at the usual dango shop where they'd often meet their clients, if they had any.
"Hmm?" The silver haired samurai took notice of the two as he continued to chow down on his dangos. He looked at them without any interest and kept focusing on chewing. "Oh! Toshi-aru! Neh, neh, Dango! More Dangos Please! This guy with the upside down 'A' hairy style will pay for it!" Kagura called the waitress. "Yes! One moment please." The Waitress nodded in reply.
"OI! Who said anything about buying you more Dango? Haven't you had enough already! There are 9 sticks on your plate!" Hijikata half-heartedly scolded the brat. "It's impossible, Hijikata-san. That female disguised monkey has a black hole in her stomach. The only think that may stop her from eating would be to rip her stomach right out with a sword." Okita said making sure it was loud enough for Kagura to hear.
"What'd you say, bastard!" Kagura quickly shouted back, immediately charging toward the Shinsengumi captain. "…haaa" Shinpachi sighed as he looked at two, already starting their own little match. "Gin-san, do something, it was so peaceful just a second ago…"
"Sorry about that…" Hijikata joined in. He sat down right behind Gintoki, who was now using the dango stick to clean his teeth. Shinpachi cringed at the sudden apology from the demon vice-chief "Hijikata-san… ah… no, it's partially Kagura-chan's fault… err…" he waved his hands around as he tried to explain. Hijikata looked at him quietly, as if he were listening.
"Ah!" the poor four eyed teen's shoulders jolted up in surprise. "Um… TEA! I..I-I'll go get some more TEA! Ahahha… excuse me!" He stiffly stood up and walked inside the Dango shop, escaping from the two. Okita and Kagura continued with their little fight like they were the only two people in the world, with Kagura mercilessly attacking and Okita mostly dodging as he tried for quick but numerous attacks.
Inside the shop, Shinpachi continued to peek at the two Samurais, they were silent, not even glancing at each other. Uwaah… what pressure… I wonder what's up with those two, did something happen? Gin-san was acting pretty normal the entire day wasn't he? What is this? He's all quiet once Hijikata-san showed up… What do I do? I want to go back to my seat but I don't feel like going near them… He debated in his head as multiple droplets of sweat continued to fall from his face.
Hmm…? What's up with those two? Okita thought, while fighting with Kagura he was able to get a quick glance at the two Samurais. With the millisecond distraction, he took a knee in the face as Kagura laughed with victory. "HAAAA!" the little china girl shouted. She stood up straight in front of Okita, who fell on his back, and couldn't help but glance at the two Samurais as well.
"Oi…"
The silence between the two broke. Gintoki called out to Hijikata as he still continued to pick on his teeth with the Dango stick. "…need me for something? Brats are starting to worry…" Gintoki said. Hijikata remained silent and continued to look down on the ground.
"Well… if you don't need anything then…" Gintoki stood up and spat the Dango stick out of his mouth directed at Hijikata's messy black hair and somehow stuck there. A vein popped right below the demon second in command's left eye.
"Oi! Brats, I'm leaving first…" he waved the two goodbye. "Ah! Gin-san! Wait!" Shinpachi finally stepped out of the shop, scrambling his feet as he followed Gintoki while looking at Hijikata's back, still remaining quite.
"What's with that? Do you have a job for us?" Kagura asked Okita, thinking maybe Hijikata was just being too prideful to ask their boss for help. Okita stood up from this position and patted his butt clean. "No… I just followed Hijikata-san here really. Didn't even expect for you guys to be here…" he replied properly, also wondering what was up with the two.
"Did you hear anything from Danna?" Okita asked this time. "Nothing, he was normal until you guys showed up, Stupid!" Kagura sprinted off to Gintoki and Shinpachi's side, already a few steps away from the Dango shop. "Hmmm…" Okita stared at their retreating backs for a while then started walking his way to where the Shinsengumi vice-chief was.
"Ah, they're gone?" one of the waitress noticed, she was holding on a plate full of dango that Kagura ordered. "Ah, excuse me, that's probably mine…" Okita took all the Dango sticks. "That guy is paying" he pointed at Hijikata and left.
"What was that all of a sudden Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked. "Who cares! The bastard's probably just being all stupid and arrogant about wanting some help from us again!" Gintoki said, annoyed. "Then… we should just ask him straight forwardly… maybe… and that we'd be more than happy to take on the job!" Shinpachi enthusiastically suggested.
"Ehhh?" Gintoki started picking on his nose this time. "Then, you do it! You seem like you really want to anyway. That guy's too much of a mess for me! Completely Troublesome!" Gintoki complained. "Yeah! Toshi is too TSUNDERE!" Kagura said with a loud voice. "Since when have you started learning such words Kagura-chan?" Shinpachi asked, worried their little girl might be exposing herself to a world she must not.
"Tsundere! Yandere! Dere-dere! Kuudere!~" Kagura started singing. "Wait! Where are you leaning these? You know too much! What books are you reading?" Shinpachi shouted this time. "All kinds of troublesome personalities~ dere~dere~ why bother naming them~ they're all pretty much the same~ anti-social~ plastic~ psychotic~ obnoxious~ annoying~ " Kagura continued to sing.
"Oiiiiiiiii^! You're completely ignoring me and insulting every Dere-girl and OUR types of girls, speaking of I like the dere-dere type. Don't insult our taste! They're all unique! Don't call our goddesses obnoxious!" Shinpachi scolded, eagerly trying to stop Kagura from singing.
'Hijikata-shi…hijikata-shi….?'
Hmm? Toshi?
Hijikata-shi… is there…nothing I can do? You know… Sakata-shi may…''
Forget about that guy… For now…. I have no choice but to fight this on my own for now….
'But…'
Plus, you… aren't you supposed to be long gone by now? What are you still doing inside my head?
'….sorry… but I promise to listen to you, and only come out when you let me… I promise… I won't ever take over your body unless you want me to nor invade your inner thoughts… just… please let me stay here for a little while more…'
…and why the hell would I say OK to that?
'….Hijikata-shi…'
Well?
'Then… in return… please let me help you…'
"Yes! Here you go! One Gintoki-special!" the shop owner announced, placing the bowl in front of Gintoki. "And One Hijikata-special!" placing the bowl right next to the other one.
Tsk… I finally thought I could have a peaceful night… now of all times… why does this guy have to show up here? Tsk… completely troublesome…. Gintoki grabbed his wooden chopsticks and started eating; he glanced at Hijikata and back to his meal. …If you need something just say it! Too Troublesome!
Hijikata stared at his meal…
Well?
'err… then… let's eat…'
Hijikata finally moved, he grabbed the bowl with one hand and held the chopsticks with the other and started eating. After one huge mouthful "Hurk.." his eyes widen and sprayed the contents of his mouth out. Gintoki was surprised too and moved away. "What are you doing bastard?!" he shouted at the other.
"…Hi-hijikata-shi… exactly…*cough* how could you eat such thing…. *cough* too much mayo…" Toshi coughed out.
….get used to it..
"That's impossible… *cough* urgh.. the taste kuh… is coming back… up urk.." Hijikata tried to speak only to vomit on the floor where Gintoki was standing. "AAAAAAAAAHHH!" Gintoki screamed.
"What the hell is wrong with you? You got your shit all over my shoes and now the store owner has me looking out for you! Damn it!" Gintoki cursed. They were outside the shop now with Gintoki cleaning his shoes with a hose from inside the shop and Hijikata sitting at the bench outside the shop, still trying to calm himself and taking small amounts of water at a time.
"What is it? Did the old man's mayonnaise go bad? Not your favourite brand? Finally getting tired of the taste or maybe you're body has finally given up and is staring to break from eating too much mayonnaise? Haa! Serves you right!" Gintoki teased with a huge smirk and amused pair of eyes. Hijikata glanced at him with a glare before continuing to drink the rest of the water the owner gave him.
After a few seconds of silence with only the sound of water hitting Gintoki's boots and water going down Hijikata's throat, the demon vice-commander finally spoke but still not facing Gintoki. "Err…"
"Hmm?" Gintoki didn't bother to open his mouth. So he's finally talking, maybe this is his problem. His current inability to intake his beloved mayonnaise… not that I'd consider that a problem… it's a hella better that way… no way I'm fixing it if that IS his problem…
"...sorry…" Hijikata apologized, coming out more as a grumble of anger rather than a token of guilt for doing something bad.
"Eh?" Gintoki looked at Hijikata with surprise whose face was still staring at the ground.
"…Sakata-shi"
"EEEEEEEHHHHH?"
To-Toshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii?
"YOU? YOU'RE TOSHI? What? Didn't you leave already? Aren't you supposed to be in heaven or hell by now?" Gintoki shouted. "What're you still doing here? Wasn't the show we made for you enough? Wasn't the zeroes spent for Shinpachi's medical fees after the match enough? Are you saying that we spent more than 6 episodes, I think, for nothing! That took a lot of time and effort you know! We could've spent those episodes for a more serious arc you know!" Gintoki ranted out.
Toshi in return, started bowing and apologizing and covering his ears while listening. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Sakatashiiiiiiiii!"
….Well…good luck with that
'Hijikata-shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!'
…What? You said you'd take care of it, didn't you?
'BUT!'
"That's it! I'll make you go away! FOR GOOD this time!" Gintoki shouted with determination as he made a stance and held his sword above him, ready to strike Toshi.
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Toshi shrieked. "WA-WA-WAIIIIIT! WAIT! SAKATASHIII!" he begged as comical tears started spraying from his huge eyes and small dot like pupils.
'HIJIKATA-SHI! If you don't do anything now! We'll both be in HELL! Hijikata-shi!'
…..tsk
"Get ready now… don't worry… I'll make this quick and easy…" Gintoki glared as his sword twinkled with the stars.
'HIJIKATASHIIIIII!'
Author: Yayayayayayaya…. Been a while, fanfiction-sama…. Hmmm… well… l hope I finish this one…. (TT^TT)