The world is back to normal again. Everyone seems so happy and carefree… except me. Why can't I just let go and be at peace? I want to… but my heart won't let me. Every day seems like another day of torture and pain. I just wish I could move on with my life… stop pining for something that will never happen. Oh, why do I have to love you so? Why can I not let you go and find another to fill my heart with warmth? Why am I so cursed? I'm starting to sound like a pitiful teenager.
From the corner table in her bar 7th Heaven, TIfa let out a sigh. She hated feeling this way, but lately it had gotten worse. It was almost to the point where she felt as if a pair of hands was pushing on her heart, squeezing it between them every second of the day. Her mind wouldn't focus on much else, for every time she started doing a task, it always flashed back to him. Her nights were shallow, for the pain wouldn't allow her much sleep. If it weren't for Denzel and the other orphans, she would have found a way to end it all already. But she had to take care of them and wouldn't shirk her responsibilities to them. They deserved more than that.
The bell dinged to announce the entrance of another customer, and Tifa moved to the bar, putting on a cheery, albeit fake smile. "Welcome to the 7th Heaven. Is there anything I can do for you today?" she asked a slightly overweight man. He took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink, which she served up quickly with practiced expertise. The man stared at her a few moments, and then opened his mouth to speak.
"You sure are a pretty young thing… bet your man don't like you running this bar, does he?" he asked. Tifa stiffened then relaxed, keeping her face emotionless.
"If I had a man he would not care about me owning a bar," she retorted, washing a few dirty mugs. The man sneered, his eyes glittering with speculation.
"Ah, then perhaps you won't mind if I give that cute backside of yours a squeeze?" he asked, his grubby hand snaking out towards her. Tifa's reaction was immediate; she put the mug down and delivered a quick jab to his arm, causing him to yelp out in pain.
"Don't ever try that again," she warned, her eyes sparkling dangerously. He immediately put his hands a safe distance from her.
"Sorry miss, didn't mean to offend. I was only lookin' to have some fun," he mumbled. Tifa shook her head, ignoring his apology. He just drowned himself in his drink as she finished cleaning up and began checking the level of all the bottles behind the bar. The bell dinged again then, and the phone rang at the same time. Well, one of the two phones. One was for the delivery service and the other was for the bar. The delivery phone was the one now ringing, and she picked it up, glancing at the door to see Barret, Marlene, Denzel, and Yuffie come in.
"Hello, this is Strife Delivery Service. We deliver cross continent to all reaches of land known to us. How can I help you today?" she spoke automatically, her hand poised above a pad of paper with a pen just in case. The person on the other line wanted a pickup and delivery made tomorrow morning all the way to Wutai, and was prepared to pay upon pickup. After jotting down the details, Tifa hung up and turned to her friends. Marlene and Denzel ran up to her and hugged her happily.
"We got to see a bear! It attacked daddy!" Marlene exclaimed, grinning widely. Tifa gave Barret a look, and he immediately defended himself.
"Yuffie was watching them while I shot that foo' beast up! I promise Tifa! I ain't lettin' the kids get hurt for nothin'!" he said, making Tifa just shake her head. She didn't really smile though, and Yuffie and Barret noticed how tired she looked. There were dark bags under her eyes. They were concerned, but knew not to say anything to her, because she would always hide her pain from them until she was ready to divulge her secrets. Tifa's biggest pride was in her strength to stand alone and defend herself, but sometimes they thought it was her biggest weakness too. They seated themselves in front of Tifa, where she made milkshakes for Marlene and Denzel and served Yuffie and Barret some delicious fresh iced tea. She took a glass for herself and sat next to them.
"So Tifa, have you found any more homes for the orphans yet?" Yuffie questioned curiously, always interested to hear about Tifa's mission to find all the orphans homes. She had a feeling that Denzel would be the one to refuse to go and beg to stay with Tifa, since he absolutely adored the young woman.
"Yes, actually, I found homes for four more children today. The families were very solid and good, with caring people to raise the children. I've heard from a few other people looking to adopt, and there is even a few from other cities and continents who wish to adopt. I think I'll deliver that package to Wutai myself tomorrow and visit a family from the village," she told them. Yuffie tilted her head.
"Which family is it?" she asked. She was sure she knew them, being the village head's daughter and all.
"The Hanobu family. They already have a son, so they were looking to adopt a girl since the mother almost died at childbirth and cannot have more," Tifa explained. Yuffie's face lit up in recognition.
"I know the Hanobus! They are really nice people Tifa. I can vouch that they would definitely take very good care of any child in their care. Their son is a bit of a terror but they discipline him with a firm yet gentle hand. Their house is spacious enough for probably three more kids, and of course you know that Wutai is a good place to grow up. I mean, look at who it produced!" she said, her cockiness coming through. It only served as amusement, and even Tifa gave a small chuckle. She rubbed her forehead.
"I am sorry, Yuffie. I completely overlooked the fact that you're practically the heir to Wutai… I guess my mind was miles away. I'll take your word for it then… I can escort the girl they've shown interest in over there to meet them. If they like her and she likes them then I'll leave her in their care," Tifa said. Yuffie nodded.
"Don't worry 'bout it Tif. I'm headin' back to check on my old man tomorrow, so I'll go with, if you don't mind?" she offered hopefully. Yuffie hated traveling alone to her village… she would rather have someone to chatter to the entire trip. Tifa didn't really mind, however.
"Sure. I'll leave to pick up the package at 9, and go straight to Wutai from there." She sipped on her tea then, thinking. Something suddenly hit Barret.
"Tif, not to be nosy, but how come spikey ass ain't takin' the package? Ain't that his job?" he queried her. Tifa just shrugged.
"Cloud's visiting the Forgotten Capital again. Said he was looking for something he dropped when he fought with Kadaj's gang. He won't be back until the day after tomorrow, and this customer wants their package delivered A.S.A.P." Her tone of voice was flat and matter-of-fact, as if Cloud was just some random employ and not her best friend. Barret peered at her curiously.
"Has that idiot been sayin' dumb things to piss you off, Tifa?" he asked, wondering why she sounded so distant from him. Tifa shook her head.
"No. He's actually been a lot more talkative since he forgave himself for letting Aerith die." She left it at that, and just started talking about the children again. Barret was not convinced, but he wouldn't push Tifa. That would only make her close up even more. Soon they were leaving for the night, with Yuffie assuring Tifa she'd be awake and ready by 8:45. Marlene said bye to Denzel and Tifa ushered the boy into bed, along with the other orphans still waiting on homes. As she was tucking him in, Denzel proved that children are very shrewd.
"Tifa… Cloud makes you hurt inside a lot, huh? He don't even have a clue how you feel, which hurts you even more, right?" he asked. He had been observing her very keenly lately, and thought that such a pretty and nice lady needed to be happy instead of sad all the time. Tifa just looked at him for a long moment before replying.
"Yes Denzel, he does. He hurts me a lot and he doesn't even know it," she responded in a whisper, her eyes sad. "Now get some sleep. You'll be watched by Elmira tomorrow, since I'll be gone almost all day. Chisa might not be coming back from Wutai tomorrow, so make sure you tell her bye. Goodnight, dearest child." She kissed his forehead and left him to fall asleep, which he did rather quickly. As she closed the door, Tifa felt as if she couldn't take an adequate breath to make her lungs function correctly. Suddenly the bar was too stuffy, and she had to step outside, which she did hastily. Placing her hands on the wall behind her, she leaned on the side of the bar, gulping in air. Lightheaded, it took her a moment to readjust to her surroundings. She felt like she needed guidance, advice, something helpful from someone she knew she could trust. Red XIII immediately came to mind. It would have to wait until she was done in Wutai tomorrow though. Resolved that she might actually get some advice to help her get rid of her weakness, she retired for the night.
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