The flat is quiet and empty except for the sputter and slosh of the dishwasher. I'm lying on the couch, drowsy from another nap. I've always hated naps, that confused feeling you get where everything feels lopsided, not to mention I always end up drenched in sweat. Lately though all that bothers me less knowing I get to have those quiet, safe moments of warm nothingness.
What can I say, I Simon Snow, have now come to prefer sleep to sentience. You would too if you'd gone from a life of magic and adventure to a life of powerlessness and apathy.
Baz doesn't know how bad it's gotten.
He knows I quit going to uni, but he doesn't know I'm jobless and spend my days here in the flat sleeping or tidying things up so I can feel like I'm being productive. All of this I do while Baz is out learning things, meeting new people, and living a normal life. As normal as one can for being a gay vampire magician, still though.
He left earlier than usual for uni today, off to see Margaret, his bff, for bagels and tea. He told me I should come along.
"It's too early for me Baz. I got not even a pocket of sleep last night."
"All you do is sleep, Snow." It was true.
"Not last night." I told him which was also true. Baz's eyes went blank. He was remembering it. I was remembering more. It was another nightmare, the Mage also known as my Father, was clutching me by the throat. Worthless was what he whispered into my ear. I struggled against him, trying to spell him off me, See ya wouldn't wanna be ya! But his long slender hands just closed tighter and tighter around my neck, and that's when I woke up with Baz shaking me. I was glad he didn't spell me awake. Ever since I lost my magic he'd been trying to adapt to using less of his. It made me feel less crap, Baz in general makes me feel less crap. At least when he's around.
The life came back to his eyes and I could tell he remembered having to wake me up from the nightmare.
"Aw Simon, babe." He said and moved closer, kneeling down beside me. His cologne smelled good. I combed my fingers through his hair, it was shorter than it had been during our days at Watford, but it was still just as shaggy and soft as I remembered. It was weird to think that our time at Watford was already two years ago.
Baz took my hand and held it between both of his which were big, pale, and cold. He leaned down and blew hot air into them. His breath was different than a normal's breath. There was a fiery energy to it. The endorphins rushed to my head, that familiar euphoric tingle that always left me feeling warm, safe, and loved all at the same time. I looked into his soft grey eyes. Lately the grey was almost silver, the same was true this morning. How could I say no to him?
I stumble on my excuse. "I would go... it's just..."
"Of course, of course, I get it. It's not your fault you have the nightmares."
I frowned. Even if he did get it, how much longer was he willing to put up with it? Ever since leaving Watford and losing my magic I'd gradually become more and more distant. From Baz, from Penny, and from myself. I watched him give me a peck on the cheek, and then he was up on his feet before I could return the favor, raring to go see his Margaret.
"Well I hope work goes good today. Get some sleep for me. Okay Snow?"
"Okay."
The door to the flat closed and he was gone.
I took a deep breath and scanned the room, there was nothing to do but go back to sleep.
So I did.
When I wake up the flat is pitch dark and my mouth is dry and salty. Gross. I grab for my phone, but it's gone. Without hesitation I get up and start to dismantle the cushions. It has to be here. I, Simon Snow, surely should be able to take on the task of finding my mobile.
Running my hands across the inside of the couch, it's a cluster of candy wrappers and crumbs.
No phone.
I get the urge to pull my wand out and shout, Appear appear, that's why I'm here! But it'd just be useless. Even if I had my magic I wouldn't have my wand. Funny how it works the same if you switch the two around. I do have a mobile though.
Where the hell is my mobile?
Padding over to light switch, I flick it on, and there the mobile sits on the table across from the couch. Incredible.
I check to see if I've gotten any messages, usually if I do it's from Baz or Penny. My mouth falls open. No texts, but I did sleep through my alarm. That damn alarm. I swear it must never go off. I check the time, it is a quarter past five and Baz could be home any minute now.
I don't get off my imaginary 'shift' until six.
That's when I hear the clang of his keys at the front door.
When he comes in I pretend I'm still asleep.