LS7: Hey guys… I'm going to rewrite my fic it's the fear just because when I reread it… I understood that the length of the story and the author's comment were way off… Don't worry though, the song and characters aren't changing just length of the story is.(It's mostly the ending that's going to change)
Dedication: MonkeyMindScream- Thanks a bunch for what you told me it really helps when I get feedback like that and I hope this time I get what you told me right…
Disclaimer: Doesn't own but tries so hard…
It's growing… this source… this thing inside of me. Why do the things I do? Is it for him? Maybe. Is it for me? I doubt that. For them? No! Then someone give it a reason because I don't. I let it grow within me like an infection… untreated. I devote myself to him so much… yet the respect I give him is only because of... because of what? Is it to just hear the words: "I'm proud of you." or "Well done?" Would that make me complete? But complete of what? This thing... Does it has a purpose for me no? Yes… Yes it does but I struggle with it everyday of my life. Ever since I was young, I was ugly and mistreated my the people I considered my family. Never was I good enough for them, never was I the kind of daughter they would want… But ever since I gained power and told myself I was going to serve under him… The dark one, my life changed and I was happy… But what I told myself back then were lies.. Lies to cover up this infection deep inside my body...
Was I as happy as I believed? Was it all just wishful thinking? I don't have a body, or a mind, or a soul… That was years ago I did… When I fail him… that feeling
envelops my very core down to my black heart. I fear failing him… I fear being…alone… I fear having no purpose… I fear… fear. But that fear keeps me alive.. It feeds me the nutrients I need to live like how the milk of a mother is the nutrients to a baby. So many times I tried to escape it but it just puts me into place and grows and grows till I give in… I have no reason for deciding the fate I did. I was desperate as a lost and confused child trying to gain what I knew I couldn't… and that was love and being a purpose to others. All a long I was just a usable fool who like an old weapon can be replaced with a new a more powerful weapon. It festers at me like the sun to a rotting corpse and I am that dying corpse… a shell of what I used to be…I'm only a slave to my emotions and a slave to what I have become… a simple servant to a dark lord to whom which I desperately fear yet I serve him so…It's like venom from a poisonous snake. As the venom seeps through my weak body, the poison gets stronger until I can't fight anymore. It made my body to weak and I as a fool, accepted it so. I'm nothing what out my drug, it's keeps me from crying out loud in to world that I'm in need of help but no one will listen nor do they care to. Everyday I must face it…alone. Everyday I try to conquer it… alone and yet, everyday I fail…alone...
That's all I was and still am to them… a failure… Nothing more but a failure. But I realized something… It was obvious for why I did the things I did even if it was a reason that I made up… As I lay down my head as I am about to take my last breath, i realized it wasn't the monkey team that killed me, nor the dark one, or my parents, it was the fear that grew deep inside of me… Before I die, as my eyes become blurry from the pain and the tears I so long wanted to keep from myself, I see a little girl smiling at me but with eyes of a sadden angel. That little girl…it was me… She was shrouded by a bright light and the way she looked was so pure, that I was scared to reach out to her… afraid that her innocence would be tainted by my touch. She reached out to me…called me in her embrace… smiling at me…forgiving me…loving me… I felt myself being lifted by her power. I felt all the weight of my burdens leaving me. I closed my eyes in order to sleep an eternal rest. But as I take my last breath, I whispered a song that showed my faults…my insecurities. The little girl watched on as I sung my last requiem…
"It's the Fear…Fear of the dark… It's growing inside of me, that one day will come to life… Have to save To save my beloved, there is no escape, because my faith… is horror and doom…
Now I see.. It's was just the fear…. It was my horror and doom. The little girl from before was gone and I was finally at peace...finally...
LS7: I hope you guys enjoyed this…
Antauri: Read And...
Chiro: Review!