"Sammy!"

Sam Winchester woke up with a start, heart pounding against his chest as he practically jumped over to Dean's bed. He cradled his older brother's head in his hands, stroking his hair away from his face and murmuring words of comfort beneath his breath. He watched as his brother turned into his palms, sighing softly and seeming to slip back into some form of slumber. Sam sighed and pulled the blankets up tighter around Dean, biting his lip worriedly as he returned to his bed. He didn't know how he would be able to hold on for much longer.

Ever since the last hunt Dean had taken a turn for the worse, muttering and searching for something that wasn't there. He was completely different from the brother he had always known, sure sometimes he would revert to the way he was and Sam would practically burst into tears when he changed back. But Dean was Dean, no matter what and Sam had promised his brother he would always be there. Sam curled back under the covers and watched his brother sleep, his face looking years younger than it usually did. He sniffled slightly and checked the time on the clock next to him; it had only been five minutes since the last one.

For a while it had seemed like a dream, Sam had actually pinched himself to try and prove that he was asleep. Part of him still didn't want to believe that his brother had finally been taken from him, that now all he was left with was an empty, insane husk of his brother, his Dean. The other part knew that Dean was still there somewhere, trying to get out, to come back to him. On a rare occasion Dean would look at him and smile, like he was only joking around with him, then he would turn around and mutter something about trying to find him, trying to find his Sam.

"Sammy! I can find you!"

Sam once again threw off the covers and raced over to his brother, holding down his arms as he began to thrash wildly. Dean seemed to instantly calm at the touch and he stirred, his blue eyes widening as they took in the scene around him. Dean hissed under his breath at his younger brother, allowing himself to shoot worried glances around the room.

"Sam, what are you doing? I told you I would protect you, you should go back to the impala."

Sam fought with the urge to just walk out and leave, but he couldn't, not to his brother. Dean had looked after him when no-one else would, when their father had left them to go hunting. Sam had so many things to repay him for, and now that Dean needed him, he was considering deserting him. Sam watched blankly as his brother sat up and scanned the room, his hand darting to make sure there was a knife under the pillow. His eyes resettled on Sam, and took a moment to register that he was looking at his brother. Sam readied himself for the same question that he had heard twenty million times already.

"Sam, I thought I told you to go to the car."

"You did Dean, but it's late and you should get some sleep."

He watched as Dean ignored him and got out of bed, pacing around the room's perimeter and checking the salt barriers, the guns, the duffels. He watched as his brother walked back to the bed and pause, apparently lost. Dean looked around the room and began to speak when he saw Sam. Sam stood up and walked over to Dean, grabbing his shoulders and staring into his confused eyes.

"Dean, I'm safe. We're safe here ok?"

He felt like he was talking to a child, and in a way he was. But Sam was running out of time to talk to Dean. He didn't know how long he had left, but the egg-timer had been turned upside down and the grains of sand were trickling away. Dean shrugged Sam off and walked into the bathroom, closing the door shut behind him. Sam sagged onto Dean's bed, the palm of his hand firmly pressed into his forehead. He could feel the all-too familiar sensation of the lump in his throat and the stinging of tears forming behind his eyes.

He felt like he was drowning, the only rock that he had to save him was gone. Sam cursed angrily as the tears streamed silently down his face, dripping off his chin and onto his legs. He hardly registered the bathroom door opening, or the presence of his brother beside him. Sam felt his brother's arms wrap around him and pull him into a hug and it tore him up how even though his brother had lost so much he still was there to comfort him. He shut his eyes, listening to the sounds of Dean's heartbeat and relaxing slightly with the soft stroking of his back.

"Shh Sammy, everything's going to be ok. We'll figure out what's wrong with you and then I'll make that son-of-a-bitch pay for what he's done."

"Dean, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm dying, and nothing you can do will stop it. I have to look after you."

He heard Dean's breath hitch in his chest and he looked up to his older brother's face. Dean frowned at him and pushed Sam away, holding him at arm's length. He seemed to be judging him.

"Sam, mom says she doesn't want you in heaven. I don't want you in heaven either."

Sam gave a hollow laugh and shook his head.

"Mom doesn't care Dean, she's dead. Dad's dead. Do you understand?"

"Don't talk about mom and dad like that Sam. It's disrespectful."

Sam stood up and walked around the room, stopping when he got the doorway. He whirled around and faced his brother, he was arguing with a mentally unstable man, and he was losing his mind.

"They're dead Dean, they don't give a damn!"

"I'm getting tired of this attitude Sam Winchester."

Sam felt himself sink to the floor, unable to keep back the tears that now cascading down his face. He could hear himself laughing like an idiot, like he wasn't in control of his body. Sam watched as Dean stepped back for a moment, almost like he was confused at whom the person in front of him was. Dean shook his head and then stepped toward Sam, crouching on the floor to become eye-level with his brother. Sam hiccuped sadly and gave Dean a tired look.

"I feel so lost Dean. I don't know if I can keep going anymore."

Dean smiled and hugged his brother, sitting beside him so he could bundle his younger sibling into his lap.

"I know, but it's alright now. I've found you."

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, some other more intelligent people do. I just play with them from time to time.

A/N: I was in a strange mood when I did this, so yeah. All mistakes are mine and such. Enjoy!